Tori: The Place We Used to Love

My head hurt.

It didn't just hurt. As I tried to open my eyes, the light was so bright it felt as if I were being exposed to Total Solar Irradiance. The full, unbridled, unfiltered fury of the sun's radiation as if it were hitting me directly, as if I were in space with no atmosphere to filter out the worst of it.

Coincidentally, my head felt like it was floating in space, tethered to my body by an impossibly long cable. I was so hungover, my deeply buried inner nerd had to crawl out of the recesses of my subconscious mind to try and take control.

Analyze, Tori. What do you remember?

I remember rain. A brutal storm, actually. Delayed flights. A lot of booze.

Jade kissing Cat.

What the hell?

Cat kissing me.

Oh my god.

Me kissing Jade.

Was it a dream?

I licked my dry lips. Tried to move my legs. But they were entangled with Jade's. Maybe?

No. Jade only had two legs. I counted four, somehow. Plus mine.

Oh no. It wasn't a dream.

A sudden sense of urgency forced my eyes open. Cat lay next to me, facing me, curled up. Jade was spooned up behind her, her arm draped over both Cat and me. My arm, I found, was also draped over Cat, with my hand resting on Jade's waist.

We were all naked except for Jade, whose stockings were still on. We weren't even under the blankets.

The room started to spin. What the hell had happened? What was I thinking?

I remembered waiting at the airport. I had been there for hours. Almost a full day. First, the rain had closed down LAX. Then, debris on the runway and damage to a hangar had shut down Redding. The wind had been so bad, our plane couldn't even get onto the runway.

I tried to move without waking anyone up. My mind was racing, trying to fill in the gaps even as I struggled not to throw up everything I'd eaten for the past day.

I stumbled into the bathroom. The toilet seat was so cold. Just like the one on the plane…

The plane had been sitting there for four hours as I washed my hands and made my way back to my seat. This was easily one of the worst delays I'd ever experienced. As I got closer to my seat near the back of First Class, I heard singing. Two familiar voices singing a song.

I decided on a cold shower to start. I thought maybe it would wake me up a bit more, shock my system out of its hangover. The sound of the water hitting the tub made my head throb.

I eased my aching body under the cold stream flowing from the shower head. It took a minute to get used to it and the frigid temperature definitely shocked my system…into having a worse headache. I increased the temperature a little and let the water rush over me. The heat felt a little better, gently relaxing the tense muscles in my neck and my lower back.

My lower back strained as I squeezed my way past the overweight woman in the aisle seat, standing precariously in front of a young woman in the center seat as I spoke to the guy by the window. He looked at me like I was crazy, but fortunately he didn't seem to recognize me. Messy hair and glasses will do that, I guess. Clark Kent, eat your heart out.

I pulled on fresh clothes and cast one more glance at Cat and Jade as they slept. They hadn't moved an inch. I grabbed my purse and slipped out the door.

The small cafe offered a free continental breakfast. In all my travels I could never figure out that name; technically every land mass was a continent, so why would a free breakfast demand such a broad monicker?

Regardless, it smelled fantastic. I took some waffles, scrambled eggs, a few strips of bacon, and a small bowl of fruit. The coffee smelled too good to pass up; I grabbed a cup and some creamers. I was missing my almond milk by now; it had been weeks since I'd been home. But they did have French vanilla and hazelnut creamers so I made due, pouring in one of each.

I sat at a table by the window and looked outside. The rain had finally stopped and, although grey clouds lingered in the sky, the sun was prominent just behind them.

The sun was nowhere to be seen out the man's window. I watched the video clip again and my heart sank. Cat and Jade singing at some karaoke bar not far from here. They were sure dancing close…almost on top of each other. I panicked.

I tried not to panic as I felt the familiar touch of Jade's hand on my shoulder. I'd long since finished my breakfast and was on maybe my third cup of coffee when she finally found her way down.

She wore a look of uncertainty in her big, beautiful eyes. There was so much to say, but who could know how to begin? What we had done last night…how could I have let it happen? How could I have encouraged it? Her lips twitched, as if she wanted to smile at me but was unsure if she should.

Jade's lips twitched. She said she was happy I came back. Would they have kissed if I hadn't opened the door? Cat was talking, rambling. Drunk. Singing. Three years. They'd already been together once. Did I ruin things so badly I pushed them together again?

Cat joined us, carrying what smelled like some kind of mocha latte. She made eye contact with Jade, then with me. It was so awkward; a fleeting moment of seeking me out and then flicking her eyes away.

Cat seemed so sad and lonely. She needed someone. Why not Jade? Why not me? Why not the two people who cared about her just as much as Sam? It made as much sense as the bottle of wine and dozen miniature bottles of booze would allow.

The three of us sat there in total silence, staring at our respective coffees. Occasionally someone would glance up at one or both of the others, then quickly retreat.

Cat's eyes shot to me, open wide as she seemed to seal her mouth closed against Jade's lips. She needs us, I'd told Jade in that special, unspoken way we had perfected over the years. She wasn't convinced. Neither was I. But she was as impaired as I was. And as damaged. And as lonely. We all were. So why the hell not?

"So," Cat began awkwardly. "Heck of a storm, huh?"

"Awful," Jade said, jumping on the chance to break the silence, even over something so mundane as talking about the weather.

"Yep. Terrible," I said. "My flight got delayed over and over. Sat on the plane for like five hours. And even longer inside the airport waiting to board."

"We saw this tree get eviscerated at the mall," Jade said. "There was this huge explosion and then bam. Split right down the middle. Scared Cat half to death."

"You jumped, too," Cat huffed.

"Maybe a little."

The silence settled back in the moment the small talk was spent. It lingered heavily, almost as heavily as the weight pressing outward from my skull. I was tempted to see if I had any Fireball left to dump in my coffee. Some hair of the dog that bit me, as they say. I don't know why they say it, since I only ever heard that phrase in one of Jade's favorite movies, The Shining. But apparently it's a thing they used to say.

My phone shook the table. I swiped it up. It was another text from Tara.

Where are you? You were supposed to be at the studio at 8:00! The producer is pissed.

I winced. In my erratic, emotional confusion yesterday, I hadn't even updated Tara on what was happening.

Whole coast got blasted with a storm last night, planes were grounded everywhere. Couldn't get out of Redding.

"Everything all right?" Jade asked. Clearly not the question she wanted to ask, but it's the one she settled on.

"Just explaining why I'm not in the studio this morning like I was supposed to be."

"You can't control the weather."

"No, but I can call people and tell them when I'm not going to be there, and I didn't do that. So now the whole team is waiting and wondering where I am."

My phone vibrated again.

You should have let me know. I'd have rescheduled.

I sighed. Once upon a time I thought I made relatively okay decisions. Lately? Not even close.

I'm sorry, I had kind of an emergency.

Great, job, Tori. Lie to her. That'll help.

But it wasn't a lie, exactly. There was an emergency. I had to get back to my wife before I lost her. If I was ever in danger of losing her. Because in retrospect, I'm not so sure I was. But seeing the video…opening the door and seeing them so close…

Whether that was ever a possibility or if it was just me feeling guilty and awful, it was an emergency.

Her reply came through. Oh no, is everything okay? No one's hurt or anything right?

Oh, poor, sweet Tara. Everyone's hurt. It seems to be an unfortunate side effect of being close to me these days.

No injuries. Driving back to LA shortly. So sorry, are they free tomorrow?

Five minutes rolled by without a response. When it came, it was in the form of an incoming call from Tara.

"I'll be right back," I said.

"Oh, okay, great. We'll be right here wondering."

Jade's tone was full-on, high school sarcasm. I hadn't missed it much.

"Hey," I said as I slipped outside the hotel entrance. It looked like a disaster zone: limbs down everywhere, traffic lights tangled and upside down, debris and garbage all over the place.

"Hey, are you okay? What's going on out there?"

Tara sounded concerned. Of course she did. "I'm fine," I said. "It's a lot to explain. It's all personal stuff, my friend's girlfriend is apparently missing and there was this whole thing. Is your dad pissed?"

"He doesn't know. He had to fly to London for a few days so he kind of left me in charge of…well, you. Getting things going and all."

A pang of guilt shot through me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems."

"Why are you driving back?"

"There are no flights out right now; the storm screwed things up. Besides, Jade and Cat are here, it'll be easier with the three of us driving in shifts."

I wasn't lying. There weren't any flights leaving until later in the day. I could get on one of those but I wouldn't be home that much faster.

Tara sighed. "Okay. I'll explain things to Glen, the album producer. Hopefully, he doesn't flip out and bitch to my dad or we'll both be in deep shit."

"I'm sorry," I said again. It sounded so lame and stupid. And it was a lie; I felt bad I caused her problems but I wasn't sorry for staying. It was what I felt I had to do.

"I know. It's fine. I'll just…look, I'm going to get a flight out there, okay? I should be able to make it by tomorrow."

My heart sank. "Are you sure that's necessary?"

"No, but I think if I show up it'll be less likely Glen will go to my dad. It's my ass on the line for this album right now."

"Tara…"

"I know, I know, you're sorry. Don't be sorry, just be there tomorrow morning. Okay?"

"I promise."

She sighed, and her tone lightened. "It's a good thing I find you so endearing," she said. "In a platonic way."

I laughed, but there was no humor or joy in it. "Glad you clarified that. See you tomorrow."

"Please update me if anything else goes wrong."

I grunted. "In that case, I'm sure you'll hear from me in an hour or so."

Why was this so thrilling, so quickly? After agonizing over the decision in the moment, I was suddenly so wet and so into it. I had just helped Jade slide off Cat's panties; the poor redhead was so confused. I slid my finger into her slit; she was coming down from a small orgasm that shook her before Jade even really touched her. It really had been too long for her; now, she was so very wet. I did something Jade loved: I took that wet finger and slid it into her mouth. I encouraged her to go ahead down there…not just for Cat. I wanted to see it. In my spinning, dizzy, overtaxed, horny brain, the idea of seeing Jade between Cat's legs was breathtaking. I didn't know what was happening in my mind or my body but it was escalating fast. One small taste of the forbidden opening up untold desires for more. A slippery slope both metaphorical and literal.

We hit a bump and suddenly I was awake. It was getting late; at 6:58 PM, the sun was already almost gone for the day. The drive was slower than it should have been thanks to damage from the storm creating some road work and a few random construction zones.

I heard Cat's gentle snoring from the back seat and couldn't help but giggle. Jade heard me and glanced over.

"For a while there, I wasn't sure which of you was louder," she said. I laughed on the inside. I think she was hoping for more. "You okay?"

They were the first words any of us had said since leaving.

"Yeah. Just…weird dreams." The awkward silence held fast. "Do you need a break?"

She shrugged. "Could do with a stretch and a pee, I guess. Maybe some coffee. We're still a few hours out."

"I can take over then if you want."

"Maybe."

We sat in silence for another few miles. My phone declared a new text from Tara: she had landed in LA and got a hotel not far from us. I told her we'd be back in a few more hours.

"Work again?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Tara just checked into a hotel in LA."

"Great. It'll be so nice to see the little princess again. Why exactly is she there?"

I sighed. "Her dad's in London, so she's in charge of getting my album going. And the producer's kinda pissed I didn't make it back this morning, so she's coming out to do some damage control."

Jade accepted this in silence. Mostly. "Sorry," she said eventually. "I mean, I'm glad you didn't go. But I hope you don't get in trouble for it."

I shrugged it off. "I wouldn't have made it anyway, my flight last night never left."

Words were flowing, but the tension was still there. A lot.

"So are we gonna talk about it?"

I couldn't even look her way. "Which it?"

She at least chuckled at that. "How about the most recent one? The one where you, me, and Cat had—"

"I know what we did," I said, too quickly and too sharply.

"And you're apparently very touchy about it. No pun intended."

"Jade—"

"Oh, admit it, it was funny."

I sighed. "Fine. A little." The silence returned, but I knew she wasn't going to let it go. "What exactly do you want to say about it?" Jade looked over at me just long enough to make it awkward. "What?"

"I guess for starters, I wonder why it happened. I mean we've been together for a long, long time and polygamy hasn't been something you've ever suggested before."

How was I supposed to answer a question I hadn't even come to grips with myself? "I don't know what you want me to say."

Again with the long, awkward look. "I want you to say why it happened. Hence my previous statement, I wonder why it happened."

"I don't know, Jade. I can't answer that. Okay? I don't know why it happened. I've been trying to figure it out all day and the best I can come up with is, it happened because we were all drunk and lonely and wanted to help Cat feel better."

Jade seemed to chew on that for a few minutes. "We can't just blame the booze," she said.

"Why not? Alcohol makes people do stupid things all the time."

"So you think it was a stupid thing?"

"I'm not saying that," I huffed, growing exasperated. "And you know exactly what I mean. Our first kiss was because we were drunk!"

Jade once again took my words into consideration. I could almost hear her working through them. "I'd like to think that eventually, we'd have gotten around to that anyway," she said. "I don't know that we'd have gotten around to…well, this…eventually."

I was getting exhausted. Nothing I said was what she was looking for. "This is why I didn't want to talk about it," I said. "I can't explain myself. I can't give you a reason that you'll accept. Okay? I saw a video of you two singing karaoke together on the plane. Someone sent it to a friend of theirs or something. I freaked out and got worried I hurt you both so badly you were just going to…I don't know."

"You thought because we had a history that we'd just say hey, to hell with nearly a decade of marriage, let's fuck behind Tori's back because she hurt our feelings?"

"Not in so many words," I groused. "But…something like that."

Jade actually glared at me, and it was kind of chilling. "Wow. Thanks for the trust."

"I wasn't saying I didn't trust you," I hastily added. "I didn't think you'd do anything on purpose, but I felt so bad over the way I left, and she misses Sam so much, and yeah, the fact that you guys were together in school might have worried me a little. Like, maybe it would trigger a thought or a memory. Not like you'd plan it, but…things happen."

Jade was unmoved. "You realize I had those same fears about Tara. But I chose to trust in my wife."

"Well just add it to the list of terrible, stupid things I've done," I shot back.

"So we had sex with Cat because you were afraid I was going to have sex with Cat?"

"No! Jade, please, I don't know what to say. It's not like I planned it, okay? I don't have a dissertation worked out for it! I was stuck in a plane for hours and they kept bringing all those little bottles of booze and then I saw the video and I just got scared! I'm just…I'm scared, okay? I'm scared of this condition, I'm scared of what's happening with us, I'm scared we're never going to find Sam, and I just hurt so much for Cat. I feel so awful for her."

I was out of breath and felt the beginnings of a cramp start to flare up. I rode it out in silence.

"So…you just felt sorry for me?"

Cat stared blankly at me from the back seat.

"That isn't what I meant," I said quickly. "Of course it wasn't because I felt sorry for you. There were so many reasons and feelings all mixed up. You were hurting and I wanted to help you. I wanted us to help you." I was on the verge of crying. I had no energy left to try and explain else. "It's not like anyone stopped anything, so why is it just on me to justify myself?"

"Hey," Jade said gently, reaching for my leg. "Don't—"

I pulled my leg away. And that was the end of the conversation.

Jade and I kissed desperately. I just wanted to connect with her, to feel something. My body was on fire for it, but it just wasn't there. Of course she turned me on; god she was sexier than she's ever been. Watching her and Cat had been entrancing. Being with Cat in this way had been incredible, and with Jade there, too…there were no words. But the connection wasn't there. Even as I pulled Jade to me, as Cat positioned herself and started grinding against me, even as Jade lowered herself onto my face…I struggled to feel anything beyond the purely carnal lust of the moment. Even that came up short. Jade shook through another orgasm, which made me ache so much more for that same release. Cat did, too, and then she collapsed. And I remained there…my fire unquenched. Again.

The rain had come back. It wasn't quite the raging storm system of the previous night, but it was loud enough that I heard it the moment I woke up.

It felt good to sleep in my own bed. It had been almost a month since I'd been home. That sweet relief was overshadowed by the miserable car ride home. Most of it was spent in silence, or in very brief questions and answers and a few failed attempts at conversation from Cat.

When we finally rolled into our home, I offered Cat the guest room. Jade offered to sleep on the couch, but that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to be near her, to connect with her again. How could I do that if she slept somewhere else?

She had found a package in the mailbox, along with a bunch of junk mail that had accumulated in the time since she left for my show in New York. It seemed a lifetime ago by now. She lit up as she opened it. "It's a book from a fan," she said. "I met this chick on the plane ride back to New York. She recognized me, said her girlfriend was a big fan, and that she wrote horror novels." She waved the book at me. "I signed a copy of this and told her to send me a copy with her signature. And here it is."

"Cool," I had said, only half-listening. Fans wanting to send us their scripts, books, even demos wasn't really new. "What did she say in her note?"

Jade opened the front cover. She laughed as she read it to herself first. "My Queen: I hope this keeps you up all night, since I couldn't sleep for two days after receiving your note. Simona hasn't stopped bragging about meeting you. Cannot wait for your next masterpiece. Your Adoring, Loyal Subject: Ginny." Jade's voice softened and saddened at the end of the message. "Guess she'll be waiting a while."

With that, Jade had taken the book and retreated to the bedroom.

Now, as I woke up in the middle of the night, Jade was next to me. Ginny's hope that her book would keep Jade up all night went unfulfilled; she was sound asleep, the book fallen open on her chest. It was definitely a sign she liked it, though, reading it until she couldn't keep her eyes open.

The house was silent; the only noise was the swish of my slippers on the carpet and then the tile of the kitchen. We had some food left from the failed road trip, and had stopped at an all-night grocery store when we got back into town, just for the basics. For me, that included cheesecake.

I brought the entire thing to the table with a knife, a fork, and a plate. I didn't know how much I'd eat but damn it, I was going to indulge. I ate in silence for about half the first piece, until a second pair of footsteps disrupted the silence.

Cat.

She was wearing a baggy t-shirt that kept sliding off her shoulder and a pair of shorts so short I couldn't see them under the shirt. Her red hair was up in a ponytail. More than ever, she looked like the Cat Valentine I knew in school…and not Caterina the pop star. Or post-therapy Cat who randomly broke out into psychobabble.

"Care for a slice?"

She smiled. "I'll get the milk."

She slid into the chair across from me at the small table. Despite the smiles, it was still awkward sitting there. Awkward knowing what we had done just twenty-some hours ago. This was Cat, one of my best friends, and I had seen her…well…

And touched her…well…

And tast—

"This is so good," she said. "Almost as good as the ones my Nona makes."

"I don't think I ever tried Nona's cheesecake."

"I think I may visit her tomorrow. I'll see if we can make one."

"That's a great idea. I bet she'll love to see you."

As I cut myself a second piece, I heard more footsteps approaching. Jade appeared, surprised to see Cat and I both sitting there.

"Why didn't I get an invite to the party?" she asked.

"It wasn't really planned," Cat said. "I was gonna get some water and Tori was already up."

"Cheesecake after midnight? Count me in."

Jade grabbed a plate and a fork and slid in the chair to my right. We shared a few rounds of awkward smiles.

"So, that book is pretty great so far," Jade said. "Hell of an opening. Really digging it."

"What book?" Cat asked.

"Something a fan sent her," I said. "I could tell she was into it since she fell asleep reading it."

We shared a laugh. It felt good. Not great, but…it was a good start.

"I just thought of something," Cat said as she finished her first piece. "We're kinda like…the Golden Girls. Right? That show about all these old women who live together? They always ate cheesecake in the middle of the night, too."

I chuckled. "Sure, why not?" My parents loved that show. I remember seeing episodes with them when I was a kid. "I guess Jade would be Dorothy, right? The one everyone's kind of scared of?"

Jade smiled. "I can live with that. She had the best zingers."

"I'd be like Rose," Cat said. "The one everyone loves even though she's kinda dumb."

"You're not dumb," Jade said, maybe a little more intensely than she intended.

"Obviously," Cat said. "But I am lovable, and I did used to blurt out totally random and nonsensical stories as a means of seeking external justification from those I perceived to be my friends." She took a sip of milk, leaving a little white milk mustache on her upper lip. "But I'm feeling much better now."

Another laugh. God, it was so stupid and felt so good.

"So who does that leave for you?" Jade asked. "You're definitely not like Blanche."

I shrugged. "I guess that makes me Sofia, then. Kind of aloof, wise beyond her years, and with a pre-existing relationship to Dorothy. Albeit a little different than the one I share with my Dorothy."

Jade snickered. "I'd hope so. Otherwise that's a whole different kind of show."

We laughed at the horrific inappropriateness of Jade's remark.

As Cat took her plate to the sink, she started singing softly to herself.

Thank you for being a friend
Travel down the road and back again

Jade's eyes lit up.

Your heart is true
You're a pal and a confidant

She looked to me. "Take it, Tori."

I felt the pain coming right before Cat started singing, and it hit me full-on when Jade started. I did my best to weather it without showing any outward sign. The last thing I wanted was for them to worry more.

"I…can't. I need to get some rest. I can't be late tomorrow."

I could feel the sharp disappointment from both of them as I rose from the table. I did my best not to stagger as I walked away. As soon as I was out of their line of sight, I stopped and leaned against the wall for a moment. As I breathed through the cramp, I heard Jade whispering to Cat.

"What am I doing wrong? Why can't I find her? She's right fucking here and it's like we can't even see each other."

I wish I knew, Jade. I wish I knew.

I'd been too nervous to eat all morning, but that cheesecake was definitely making me regret its existence. And my own.

Meetings about an album in development were a lot different than I imagined. It was more like a writer's room on a television show. Tara had said to dress comfortably and that she trusted me, so I picked a nicer pair of jeans and one of my loose purple tops that didn't have shoulders.

I met Tara in the lobby of the studio. She escorted me to the meeting and walked in with me. It was a power move, she said. "Glen's one of those guys who thinks he's royalty because he's been working for so long in the business. He's produced a lot of great albums; he's great at his job. But he's kind of an ass."

"Yeah, I read up on him a bit. Don't worry, I have a plan."

My plan wasn't great, but I didn't want to rely on Tara to protect me. If I was going to find success with this album, I wanted to be taken seriously.

Based on what Tara told me and what I'd read, this Glen was very assertive. He liked to control things.

I did, too.

When we entered the meeting room, which was really just a soundproofed lounge with comfy chairs and couches and about a million hookups for mics and instruments, Glen was standing with his arms crossed, talking to some other guys.

Before Tara could say anything and before Glen could open his mouth, I rushed over to him and turned my cheekbones up to eleven.

"Oh my gosh, Glen Davies! I am so excited to meet you!" I shook his hand and gently touched his left shoulder. "I can't believe Arthur asked you to work with me! I mean you've had so many incredible albums. If you ask me, Cassi-C's latest was way underrated, it was really great."

Glen was caught completely off-guard. "What? Oh…uh…yeah…"

I didn't let him get his balance.

"I am so sorry about yesterday. I was stuck in Redding. My flight never even took off so we had to drive all day just to get back here. Cell phone service was awful, but I should have found a way to get through to Tara and let her know. It was an awful day, really. But I'm so sorry, and I hope that doesn't put too much of a damper on working with me, because I've been a fan of yours for a long time and I'm so excited to hear your ideas for my album."

I could tell his head was spinning; I hit him with a lot of info in a short amount of time completely out from left field. He glanced around the room and saw everyone else was focused on him. I had put him on the spot; forced him to react to my position instead of him trying to cower me by chewing me out.

Tara held her breath. I did too.

Glen smiled. "I didn't realize you knew my work already. I've heard yours, too. I actually watched and listened to most of what you've done yesterday, so it wasn't a total loss. Don't worry about it, shit happens. But I expect you to bust your ass for me here, because to be blunt, I think you can make me, this label, and yourself a fuck ton of money."

I let my breath out slowly and cranked the cheekbones up to twelve. "I can handle that."

He offered his hand and I accepted. His grip was strong, and it got a little stronger when he felt my own. "Okay, introductions are in order, then. This is the band who'll be playing on the album for you."

He turned to the assembled crowd. Tara gave me a thumbs up. Her phone rang, then. She seemed concerned.

"Be right back. You guys get started."

I don't know what the phone call was about, but Tara had taken it in the hall and kept looking through the window at me. It definitely ramped up the pressure, although when she came back she was fine.

It was a productive first session. We talked about the album direction, kicked around some ideas for songs, and the band worked through their parts for Caught Up in You, which Glen believed had some potential to be the lead single. He asked if we needed to secure the rights to use it.

"No, I wrote it myself," I said.

"Really? So you write, too?"

"Not…really. I mean I've collaborated with my friend Andre Harris a lot—"

"Andre Harris?" Tony, my guitarist, interjected. "Man, I've been trying to get him to do some stuff with us for years. He's got serious talent. You're friends?"

"Yeah. We went to Hollywood Arts together. I wrote the song our senior year, during this big stupid showcase we had to do. Originally it was Andre's act, to write a song live, in the moment. But…stuff happened." Tara shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "And it worked out fine, really, because I ended up writing that song right on the spot."

Glen scoffed. "On the spot? Like, you just made it up on stage?"

"Yep. Andre taught me the absolute basics and gave me some really good advice."

"It's so well done," Mike, the drummer, said. "Did it come out that fully formed?"

"Not the instrumentation, but the lyrics did."

"You must have had some amazing inspiration."

I smiled to myself. "The best. That's why I married her."

The guys suggested some improvements and minor changes that made the song sound and flow much better. It was so cool to be talking about this piece actually being released.

As the day wore on, I bonded with the guys and even with Tara as we drank coffee, joked, laughed, and created beautiful music. It reminded me a lot of my days in Hollywood Arts and it made me ache with longing to see my friends again. All of them.

We made plans to meet again the next day. As Glen was leaving, he offered me his hand again. "That was quite a power play," he said softly. "Great entrance. I wasn't too sure about you until that moment. I really didn't care about the no-show. Like I said, shit happens. And look around, I mean we just sat here and played video games most of the day. But I wasn't sure how bad you wanted it until you charged in and didn't even let me speak. I like you. I think we'll do some great stuff here."

"Thanks," I said. It was my turn to be surprised.

Tara was waiting in the hallway. I stretched and yawned. "I'm so looking forward to going home. Maybe a soak in the hot tub."

Tara rolled her eyes. "Such a diva already," she teased.

"Hey, I haven't worked a full day since Jade's last movie. Give me a break."

"Well, the day isn't over yet," she said. Her tone was…not as bright as it had been.

"What do you mean?"

"I…got a call earlier. We have one more meeting today."

I swallowed hard. "With who? Is it…is it bad?"

"It's with the big boss. That's all I can say."

My eyes were wide with terror. "The big boss? Your dad!? Oh god, what happened? Did he find out—"

"Let's just go get it over with it."

"Ohhh, man."

Tara led me down a long hallway with no doors and a slight curve A sign above the door said Amphitheater One. Beyond the door was a small room. I could sense the change in pressure as soon as I entered; the sound waves were different in here. The room was acoustically treated.

There were maybe fifty seats facing a stage with a red curtain.

"Am I…performing?" I asked, nervously. "I haven't warmed up today."

"Just sit down."

She led me down to the front row, right in the center. A lone stool was on the stage with two mics. A large spotlight was focused directly on it. I saw feet moving under the curtain. Cat popped out.

"Hi!"

She hurried down the steps at the front of the stage and sat next to me. Tara took a seat on the other side, but I noticed she did left a gap between us.

"Cat? What's going on?"

"Hush," Cat said.

The curtain opened slightly. Jade stepped out.

My heart was in my throat. What the hell was happening?

Jade picked up a mic. She smiled at me. My stomach tingled.

"Thanks for coming," she said. "For quite a long time now, we've been trying to talk. To connect. To work through all the bullshit that's buried us alive lately. And every single time we've just made it worse. So much has happened and we just can't seem to find each other through it all."

Jade wiped her eyes. Her voice was trembling. I'd never seen her so nervous, not even when she first met Danielle Harris.

"A few days ago we were holed up in a safehouse. Cat and I were singing and acting silly. We invited you to join us. And you said something that stuck with me. That this wasn't high school. That we couldn't sing and dance our problems away."

Jade looked down in thought for a second, then back up at me. "Tori, I love you, but that's bullshit. I should have said it then, but I didn't. We may not be able to fix everything, but for us, for you and me, music is catharsis. It's healing. It's where we have always gone when we didn't have the words to express the pain or the sorrow or the fear, or the…" She wiped her eyes. She was crying. "Or the love." It took her a minute to catch her breath. I felt the tears trickling down my cheek, too. "So…fuck talking. We don't need to talk about anything. Not right now. Maybe that can come later. But right now, I'm going to sing. And there's a mic up here, because I know you want to join me. This is where we shine, Tori Vega. Where we've always been each other's biggest fans. It's been too goddamn long. So let's do it. Let's sing. Let's heal."

Music began, and Jade sang.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Her voice was so beautiful. There was a pain and innocence and vulnerability I hadn't seen or heard from her in months.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Jade reached for me. Reached across that distance we hadn't been able to see through. It was in the words she sang and the look in her eyes. My walls crumbled. They finally crumbled.

I stood up and accepted her hand and she pulled be up on stage. Handed me the mic. Pressed it into my fingers and let hers linger there for a moment.

My god that simple touch filled me to the brim. I couldn't keep the tears back and I couldn't keep the song back. I stared at her, lost myself in those endless brown eyes and found what I'd been so desperately trying to see for so long.

Our voices joined together for the first time in ages. And it was magic.

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

We sang on that stage, but not for the small audience. No, for once, we were focused only on each other, singing to each other, connecting, raising our spirits, singing onward…

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know…

With each word and each verse, each harmony, each breath, Jade and I connected. We spoke without speaking. We bonded. We healed.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I reached out and our fingers interlaced. We drew closer. We sang from somewhere we had forgotten existed amidst the pain and heartache and exhaustion. We found it again, buried in those lyrics, buried in each other's eyes. The touch of her hand sent familiar waves through my nervous system. It stole my breath and warmed my heart.

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go…
So why don't we go?

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know…
Somewhere only we know…

Somewhere only we know.

We barely got the last words out before the mics fell and our lips met and my world exploded into a million different colors. Jade took me in her arms and held me as if I'd slip away; I clung to her just as tightly. Our lips embraced as if it were that first time, half-drunk after the premiere of her short film…as if it were the next first time, in her trashed hotel room…as if it were the next first time, in a fairytale castle half a world away in the moments after we professed our vows.

Everything I'm not, you are. Everything I lack, you give me…

You've shown me that there's beauty in darkness, and you've made my light shine so much brighter…

My lungs were filled with the scent of her hair, her skin, her lips. There was no lust, no carnal energy, just passion, love, a desire to be together and this time never, ever part.

It must have gone on for a while, because when I finally pulled away, the house lights were on and Tara and Cat were both very, very red.

"I was about to ask if you needed a room," Tara said.

"Or some oxygen," Cat added. "Aren't you dizzy?"

I couldn't take my eyes off of Jade. "Extremely," I said. "And so happy to be."

Jade took my face in both of her hands. She wiped the tears from my cheek. "I see you," she whispered. "I've missed you."

I kissed her again, mumbling against her lips, "I've missed you, too. I'm so sorry."

"No. No apologies. Just love me."

"I do. So damn much."

Her lips curled upwards against mine. "I love you too."

We fell into an embrace and just stood there, on the stage, wrapped in each other's arms.

"Meeting adjourned," Tara said with a hint of impatience. "Go home already."

My eyes lit up. "That sounds like a great idea."

Jade smirked at me. She had something up her sleeve. "It kinda does. And we will. Eventually."

"What are you planning, Jade West?"

I had the strangest sense of deja vu as we left the studio building and there before me was a horse-drawn buggy.

"Jade!"

"What?"

I didn't know what to say so I just waved my arms at the gentleman standing in a tophat next to a pair of gorgeous, muscular, compact horses with thick, long manes and black coats.

Jade looked at the carriage, then back at me. "Why do you assume that's for us?"

"Is it for us?"

She looked at the carriage, then back at me again. "Well, obviously," she huffed. "But why would you just assume that?"

Riding a horse-drawn buggy through late-day LA traffic wasn't something I expected to be doing tonight, but it was a gorgeous night for it. Our driver, Alistair, asked if we were from the area and if we'd like any fun facts as we rode. We politely declined; we probably knew more about the city than he did, having both been born and raised here. Instead, I snuggled up to Jade and she draped her arm over me as the familiar sights of Los Angeles lazily rolled by.

"Kinda digging the fact that it's not freezing today," I said wistfully as I caressed Jade's hand. She kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah but we sure had some fun under that blanket, didn't we?"

I got a chill as I remembered the orgasm I gave Jade right in the middle of New York. She deserved it, though, after cornering me in a janitor's closet and…well.

"I do notice a blanket on that seat," I pointed out. The seat across from us did contain some rolled-up blankets and a basket.

"That's all for when we get to where we're going."

"Which is?"

"Spoilers, sorry."

I stuck my lower lip out as I sat up to face her. "I'm the star, don't I get to know?"

Her lips twitched. "You are the star," she said. "Remember that you said that."

I laid my head back down on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her. It seemed at first like we were going home; the carriage was heading for the Hills. But no, near the end they turned and we ended up on North Vermont Canyon Road. We passed the Greek Theater and slowly turned upward. Just before the Mt. Hollywood Tunnel, we turned left onto East Observatory Drive.

"Are we going to Griffith?" Jade smirked, but she didn't say anything. "Is tonight one of their stargazing events?"

Jade looked at me with loving patience. "We're like five minutes away. Keep your panties on." She looked away, then smirked. "Well, for now, at least."

Her playful flirting sent chills all through me, and for the first time in a long time I found myself unconsciously squeezing my legs together in response.

"Waitaminute, you hate that word."

She just smiled again. "What do you I have to do to shut you up?"

"I have some thoughts on that."

I sat back up and kissed her, gently caressing her cheek as my lips pressed into hers. The kiss deepened so quickly, her tongue pressing between my lips. I got dizzy as my mouth opened wider and the flame in my belly spread.

Oh, the things I'm going to do this woman when we get home…

I found myself blushing as the kiss eventually ended. In ten years, had any of our kisses been so deep and playful and tempting?

The horse and buggy gradually slowed to a stop in front of Griffith Observatory, one of the most recognizable and visited buildings in Los Angeles. I'd been here dozens of times over the years to take in a show or just look through the telescopes.

"All right, help me carry this stuff," Jade said. I was sorry to see her stand up.

"Can't we just sit here and cuddle?"

The smile that erupted across those full, red lips made me blush again. "No, but we can sit and cuddle where we're going. Come on."

Jade led us close to the observatory itself, then hung a left. We walked past the steps leading up to the roof.

"Isn't this employee parking or something?"

"Eh. This way."

We kept walking, eventually stepping off the pavement and onto a dirt path I'd never noticed. It led down a small slope and around to the back of the building.

"Are we…trespassing?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"And you avoid them all."

"Yep."

We walked a little ways off the path, to a secluded bit of field. It was a beautiful spot with an amazing view of Los Angeles just in the shadow of the observatory. We unfolded the blankets and I found that Jade had made us a picnic dinner. Sandwiches and wine.

"There's something familiar about this," I said as Jade filled my glass.

"Really? Hadn't noticed."

"So Andre and Cat aren't going to pop out of the bushes and sing to us?"

Jade laughed and raised her glass. "Nah. This isn't a remake. Think of it as a loving homage. Besides, I already ambushed you with a surprise serenade. Now, what are we drinking to?"

I smiled coyly. "To us."

Jade's breathtaking smile reappeared again. "All right, then. Here's to us."

Our glasses clinked and we sipped our wine and ate our sandwiches, overlooking the city. Magic hour was near; the sun was sinking low.

Jade picked up her phone and clicked a few times. A recording of Andre Harris's Song 2 U started playing. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Cute."

"You're cute."

I batted my eyelashes. "I hope I'm more than cute."

Jade eyed me from head to toe and I had to squeeze my legs together. Her eyes were probing and hungry and it gave me chills.

"Maybe a little more."

We sat in silence, enjoying the view and each other's company, not to mention the wine and sandwiches. The entire time I was completely smitten with Jade and the thoughtful efforts she was making here. Over the years, she had gotten really good at these grand, sweeping gestures. Considering the fact that when we met, her idea of a thoughtful gift was a can of lemonade, it was an amazing improvement.

But sometimes, a gift could be as simple as giving someone your time. And that is something we had both lost sight of lately.

We lay back on the blankets. I snuggled up next to Jade and we watched the as the sky darkened and the stars began to appear. I felt so relaxed. So safe. So happy to be with Jade.

"I'm sorry I never told you about Tara. And that I kept the PCOS thing hidden. I didn't want to add more to your plate."

She caressed my shoulder. "I figured. Keeping something so awful to yourself so it wouldn't burden others is a classic Vega trope." She kissed my head. "Thing is, I signed up for you. All of you. Burdens included."

I squeezed her tightly. "I should have shared it all sooner. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," she said. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I used your dad behind your back, I kept the Cat thing quiet from literally everyone in my life…and I kind of dragged you away from your dreams to help me achieve mine."

I propped myself up on my elbow so I could look her in her big, dark, gorgeous eyes. "You didn't pull me away from anything," I said. "Helping your dreams come true is the best thing I've ever done with my life. And it's not like life as a movie star is so horrible. I dreamed about this life when we were in school."

"You dreamed about being a pop star."

"Yeah, I did. But what I got to be was even better, and it was a dream I didn't even know I wanted until I had it. I got to be your wife. I got to spend ten amazing years working with you every day. I mean yeah…I'm almost thirty and maybe that made me a little wistful. And I admit, Tara calling and this whole contract was very tempting. But you know what? When the doctor told me about my condition, none of it mattered. The only thing I wanted to be when I heard that was in your arms. Dreams are great and all. They inspire us, they drive us…but what really matters is who we share them with. I could go my entire life and never sing another song. But I wouldn't want to go a single day without being with you."

"Oh my god just shut up."

Jade kissed me, and I could taste the saltiness of her tears as they slipped between our lips. Her body shook in my arms as her lips pressed into mine over and over again, taking my breath away. I thought we were going to make love right then and there for all the impassioned aggression behind her kisses. But for some reason, she seemed to hold back. Slowly, the kisses faded and we just gazed into each other's eyes. I wiped away her tears.

"Sorry," she said, sniffling. "I just…sometimes I'm still just blown away by you."

"Likewise, West."

We settled into that comfortable, familiar silence again. The stars were out in force now, though so many weren't visible due to the light pollution from the city. It was still a beautiful sight.

"Jade, do you…regret what we did with Cat?"

She breathed deeply. "I don't think. Do you?"

"I don't think, either." I sighed. "I was so scared of so many things. And I wanted to connect with you, again. And the jealous part of my brain wanted to experience that with you, since you told me about what you guys did in school. And I really did feel so bad for her. Like she was hurting so bad. And I do love her. Not like I love you, but she's my closest friend."

"I get it," she said, and kissed me head. "I really do understand. Look…it's not something I was ever expecting or something I wanted to do. But…it happened. We were all there and all part of it, and any of us could have stopped it. But we're all so close. And there's obviously a ton of latent attraction between the three of us. And that's fine. I mean, I don't expect you to not think other women are attractive. Especially when they are. And I think we both agree, Cat's pretty damn hot."

I giggled. "Yeah, no argument there. And she smells so good."

"Right? I always loved that about her."

We shared a laugh. "I guess there's not much else to say," I sighed. "It happened. It's over. I still think we should talk to her, though. I don't want it to change things. I mean…you don't think she'll want to like…keep it going, do you?"

Jade chuckled. "I think she was as surprised as we were. But you're right. We need to clear the air. And I think we can do that now that you and I are better."

"Is that what we are?" I asked, my eyes looking deep into hers.

"Yeah. We're better." She kissed my cheek. "And we're better than ever." She glanced up at the sky. "And that is what we're here for. Look."

I followed her eyes to the stars above. Orion was visible in a darker part of the sky further from the city.

"Orion?"

"Yep. I saw it was going to be visible tonight from up here. It's what we were looking at during the planetarium show when you promised to be my star forever. Just wanted to remind you of that."

My smile was so wide it almost hurt. "Hence why you told me to remember saying I'm the star earlier."

"See? Smart girl, you are. And thank chrysler for that because I find smart girls very sexy."

"Is that why you like me to have my glasses on sometimes when we—"

She placed a finger over my lips. "Hold that thought. I've got one more surprise tonight."

I smiled against her lip. "Is it a wax museum? Or a sex museum?"

Jade laughed and it was music to my ears. "Neither," she said. "But I do hope sex factors into it."

The evening had been so amazing. I never imagined being taken to my own house by a horse and carriage. Our neighbors even popped out of their front doors to watch what was going on. We waved to them as we finally made our way back home.

"Is Cat here?" I asked, forgetting we had invited her to stay with us.

"Not at the moment. She was going to visit Nona and then probably stay at her parents' house tonight."

My heart raced. "So we have the place to ourselves?"

Jade smiled. "Yep. But first…go check out the bedroom."

"I absolutely want to do that. Well, I want to check you out in the bedroom."

Jade was trying to keep a straight face, but it cracked. "I'm coming, too."

I slid into her arms. "You definitely will be."

Jade swallowed hard. "Down, girl," she said, but I could see her fighting the urge to take me right there in our living room. "Bedroom."

Every fiber in my body wanted to jump on Jade right then and there. I had a slight buzz going from the wine and on top of that we finally felt connected again. Whatever her surprise was, I wanted it to wait so I can ravage every inch of her…but she went through so much effort and I didn't want to spoil it.

I led us to our bedroom, where I found the lights dim and a heart made of rose petals on the bed. It was a sweet gesture, and as I was about to tell her that, I noticed something else.

A big, manilla envelope, in the center of the heart.

"What's that?"

"A civil war era bayonet."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you."

"Yes, it does."

I giggled. "It totally does."

"Anyway, it's clearly an envelope, you nut, go open it."

I squeezed her hand and hurried to the bed. The return address was the City of Los Angeles Court House. I carefully opened it and read the enclosed papers.

It was the paperwork to file for a name change.

My eyes welled with tears as I dropped it all. Jade smiled at me and my heart melted, utterly melted. I had no words. I just stared at that beautiful, incredible, amazing woman who had somehow managed to make me the happiest person alive over and over again tonight.

"The papers are in there for both of us, in case you wanted to hyphenate or something," she said. "We can make it whatever you'd like. West-Vega, Vega-West, or we can go with just Vega or just West. So long as it lets me tell the world I'm yours, I don't care about anything else. I'm just sorry it took me so long to come around to it."

My hands were shaking. My chest felt tight. I tried to breathe deeply before I started hyperventilating. After all this time, she was willing to change her name for me. Excited, even. As I stood there staring at my beautiful wife I don't know how it was possible I ever had a shred of doubt about her or us or our future.

I walked to her. Kissed her cheek and her neck. Felt her breathing grow shallow. She was everything to me. I felt wistful, nostalgic, and an idea formed. I quickly connected my phone to our speakers and found the recording Cat had given me years before of our wedding song.

Jade smiled sweetly.

"May I have this dance?" I asked.

"Always."

I stepped into Jade's waiting arms. She pulled me close to her and I wrapped my own arms around her neck as the song began.

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheek?

We swayed slowly back and forth in a slow circle there in our bedroom. We didn't say a word. We didn't need to.

Darling, I will be loving you till we're seventy
And baby my heart can still fall as hard at twenty-three

My heart raced and stuttered, as surely as it had in the early days of our relationship. Even before that. Like it did every time she touched my wrist and pulled me into the janitor's closet. Every time she let me touch her and never threatened bodily injury. Every stolen hug. Every look of disdain. It all made my heart race just the same as it was racing here, in her arms.

And I'm thinking 'bout how
People fall in love in mysterious ways.
Maybe just the touch of a hand

As we swayed there, I admired the beauty of Jade's face. There were lines. A few gray hairs were starting to show through; just a few. The weight of life's challenges ages us all, but Jade bore it all with the grace and dignity of an actual queen. Battered, but unbowed. I was so blessed.

Me, I fall in love with you every single day
And I just want to tell you I am

She smiled at me so warmly and it filled my body with heat and chills. "What is it?" she asked.

I couldn't answer right away. If I'd have opened my mouth, a million words would have come out at once, and none of them were enough to tell her how full my heart was.

So, I kissed her. Gently. My lips to hers.

So honey now, take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your hand on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe, we've found love right where we are

The kiss deepened. She opened her mouth against mine so slowly. Tenderly, as if she were afraid to break me.

When my hair's all grey and my memory fades
And nobody remembers my name

The urgency grew as our tongues intertwined. Our dancing had slowed to gentle sway as Jade's hands slid down from my waist. She squeezed and lifted. Sensing her intention, I smiled as we kissed and jumped up, wrapping my legs around her waist. I knew where she was going and I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything.

When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

Jade's strong arms carried me to our bed. She slid onto it with her knees and gently set me down. As I released my grip on her, she pulled back, taking my top with it. I undid the clasp on my bra and let it fall as Jade shed her shirt. I kissed her and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. It fell away, and I couldn't help but gaze in wonder. After all these years, the graceful curves of Jade's body still sent thrills of excitement through my body and waves of moisture between my thighs.

Cause honey, your soul could never grow old; it's evergreen
And baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory

As she straddled me, I pressed my lips to her neck. Her warm, bare flesh pressed into mine and sent me into a free fall. I kissed her slowly, gently, down her neck. As I wrapped my lips around her nipple, she threw her head back and sighed contentedly, stroking the back of my head. I could have pinched and sucked for an hour just to hear those melodic sighs, if Jade hadn't tilted my head to her lips and kissed me again.

And I'm thinking 'bout how
People fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan

She gently pushed me back into my pillow. The kisses stopped and I found her staring into my eyes. The blood never really left my cheeks, but I felt them warming under loving gaze. She looked like she wanted to say something, but no words came. She went for my neck, her lips digging and biting more aggressively. The warmth I felt down below was getting worse as my body ached for her touch.

I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

She kissed down my neck, between my breasts, which she squeezed with both hands. "Jade," I sighed lustily. Her hands knew just where to touch and they never failed to thrill me. She kissed her way to my right breast, then my left, lovingly flicking each nipple with her tongue, then pulling it between her lips.

Baby now, take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your hand on my beating heart

My breathing shallowed as her lips left a trail of slow, seductive kisses down my stomach. I felt her hands undoing my jeans before her lips were even close. As she reached my belly button, she sat up and pulled them off, sending them off into the room somewhere. Just as swiftly, she shed her own. I blushed again as she sat there for a moment, admiring my body. I returned the favor, drinking in her endless curves, her lacy black panties, and all of the succulent secrets they hid.

I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we've found love right where we are

My panties went next. The hunger in Jade's eyes sent fresh waves of desire below. She took my leg in her hand and gently kissed the sole of my foot, then its side, slowly working her way up. Each kiss added more fuel to the raging fire that waited for her. My breathing grew more shallow and the gasps came more frequently. Jade's lips told me she loved the sounds, and I rewarded her with as many as I could.

So honey now, take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Her lips reached my inner thigh. One slow kiss at a time.

Then it hit me. The rumbling of a cramp.

Oh, no…please, not now, come on…

It was all I could do to stop myself from grabbing Jade's face and moving her faster. As the first wave of pain hit, Jade's lips kissed right next to my slit. I focused on her, focused on the fire she was stoking. Her tongue slipped between my lips.

"Oohh," I gasped, arching my back.

She slowly burrowed inside of me, dragging her tongue from one end of my slit to the other. I was so wet, she could have slid right in, but she didn't. She made me feel every inch of progress, every subtle flex of her tongue. It was the most beautiful agony.

Place your hand on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we've found love right where we are

As the song faded, Jade's tongue pushed inside, parting my lips, sliding deeper. Her fingers joined in; both thumbs gently caressed each side of my slit. They must have been soaked in seconds as they gently pulled my lips apart. Jade kissed me there as if she were kissing my mouth. A finger on her right hand slid slowly inside as her tongue lashed out against my clit a few times.

"Jade," I groaned through clenched teeth. "Oh, god…" I was breathless in anticipation. The cramp was getting worse, but Jade easily and unwittingly distracted me from it. Her tongue slid away from my clit as she kissed her way back up my body, but her hand remained where it was. She slid a second finger inside of me, curling them deep within. My eyes rolled. I saw stars. Jade's lips on my body, as she worked her way back up, sent me into a frenzy.

I all but dragged her face up to me and kissed her. I could taste myself on her lips and a chill shook my spine. Her tongue probed deeply into my mouth, wrapped around mine, then retreated, begging mine to follow.

I slid my right hand between us and gently thrust her panties aside. She was so wet, maybe more than even I was, though it was impossible to tell. She bit her lip as I flicked her clit a few times. I felt her own fingers stiffen within me.

As her fingers worked, thrusting deep within me, I matched with thrusts inside of her. She pressed down on my hand, grinding against me, and my hips bucked against her hand. I could see the pleasure and lust radiating in her eyes. Her breathing was as shallow as mine, and the room filled with the beautiful sound of her gasps and mine, wrapping around each other as surely as if we were singing.

I realized suddenly that the cramp was gone, replaced the deepest, most erotic pleasure I'd ever felt with anyone. Jade's touch was healing, rubbing away the pain even as it sent waves of pleasure through every inch of my body.

In that moment it was as if the years had fallen away. No aches, no pains, no care in the world except for the heady delight we brought each other. Jade's fingers touched and probed, curling and straightening, rediscovering every spot she knew lit my world on fire. I spread my legs wider, inviting her to explore deeper. I pumped my fingers faster into her, curling them, trying to reach depths I never had before.

I saw her eyes change; that glassy stare meant she was close. Seeing that change, changed something in me.

I was acutely aware of every flex, every movement her fingers made as they pressed against my inner walls, as they dug into the spots that made me want to scream. Her presence extended deeper than her fingers; she was inside all of me, every neuron and synapse, every muscle, every part of me.

Jade clamped down on my fingers. She fought to hold her eyes open. "Tooorrriiiii," she groaned through gritted teeth.

My entire world exploded. Color, light, sound, everything, all at once. My body shook. I reclaimed my other hand and pulled Jade against me. I held my gaze as long as I could.

"Jaaaaaadddeee, Jade, Jade….!"

My words fell apart into nonsensical groans and finally a full-on scream. I held on for dear life, driving Jade's face into my neck, clawing at her back, and sinking my teeth into her neck to try and stifle the noise. I came. So. Hard. And so. Much. I clamped down so tightly I thought I might sever her fingers. Yet even as the massive orgasm finally passed, her relentless fingers pushed for more. Begged for it…no, demanded it.

I fell backward, lost in unspeakable pleasure. It had been so long, my body was so sensitive. She gazed at me with so much love as my hips against her in those moments of hypersensitivity as I came down from that first high. My beautiful, merciless wife didn't relent; I groaned and twisted and pushed through it. And on the other side, a second, massive orgasm hit even harder. I writhed around, arching my back, bucking my hips, clawing at Jade, clawing at the bed, twisting my own nipples. She watched in lusty delight, insufferably pleased with herself.

If she hadn't stopped on her own after that, I'd have begged her. I didn't think my body could take any more.

I looked at her, breathlessly, lovingly, entranced, enraptured, exhausted, sated, aglow.

"I love you," I gasped. It was barely even a whisper.

Jade smiled. "You're pretty okay yourself, Vega."

Yes, those are the words that came out of her beautiful mouth. But her even more beautiful eyes said something else.

I love you, too.