The scalding tea burned her tongue and blistered her throat. Her thoughts strayed to Rukia, and she gripped the tea cup ever tighter, her knuckles turning so white that it made the pale yellow cup seem intense by comparison. "There's nothing to worry about! You'll make it in for sure. Maybe you should have gone to that drinking party…" Hisana couldn't help smiling. A bright haired girl with even brighter eyes and a ridiculous pink scarf had nearly attacked them in the courtyard, shouting invites to a sake party which apparently would "be a perfect way to relax."
Her smile didn't last long.
"Um… Hisana- I can call you that right? I know it's probably not my business… but I want to know… why are you so sad?" Hisana looked at Miyako, and her concern seemed genuine. There was no reason not to trust her- she had shown nothing but kindness. "I'm looking for my sister." And before she could stop herself, she told Miyako everything- well, almost everything. We were, perhaps still are… humans. We can lose everything, but we cannot lose hope. Live, and become strong. An old woman, stooped over with age, smiles at nothing in particular. Rukongai is another word for suffering, sickness, violence- and yet there is that Sereitei, that shining, white, hope, the light at the end of every tunnel. Her heart is full of darkness, and she knows it.
Miyako frowns, her eyes reflecting immense pity. "I'm sorry. I didn't know….." Her voice trailed away. Hisana regrets it now. Another person who knows what a terrible person she is, another person who pities her.
The day passes in a blur, a blur of images and words that jumble in her head. Miyako smiles, Ayame giggles, Hiroki sighs, and Kazuki looks at her. Rukia could have been dead.
It was unusually cold the next morning, with a damp feel in the air. The sky was a clear, brilliant blue. "I'm going to work hard so that I can get a spot in the 6th divison…" Kana huddled close to Ayame, her breath fogging up in the air. "Ugh, the weather's horrible. Makes my hair too brittle."
There was a long white poster tacked to the walls. People were jostling, craning their necks to see if their name was written in black ink. Others high-fived each other, while some slunk away, their expressions dark. Miyako squealed happily. "Hisana! We both made it in! What did I tell you!" Ayame grimaced and drew nearer to Kazuki and Kana. Hiroki looked stricken while Kumiko burst into tears. "Quiet, Everyone!" The same redhead soul reaper shouted. The noise quickly died down. "Those of you whose names are not written on the paper, please leave. You may try again in the subsequent year." There was much grumbling and muttering as about one half of the people left. "Now," she said. Hisana could feel the atmosphere growing tense, people glanced around excitedly. "Congratulations. You have made it to the second part of the entrance exam." They sighed, while some rolled their eyes. "The second part will be a written part. You will be separated into groups." The soul reaper began counting. Hisana looked around… where was Miyako! Ayame had also disappeared. Suddenly, someone grabbed her roughly, and she felt sharp nails digging into her arm. "Don't you dare make a sound." The superior tone, the dainty trills. It was Ayame. She let herself be dragged away and into a small corridor. "Listen, you street rat." Said Ayame. "I'm not helping you. I just don't think you deserve to be here. So I'll let you in on a little secret. My father took me to Rukongai yesterday to help me train. The 78th district has murderers, so he forced me to track them down and save the commoners. Useless and disgusting, I thought. But I did save a lot of people. One which was a baby. Imagine that! And the baby had eyes just like yours. You don't belong here. Go back to that filthy hole and if we're both lucky, we'll never see each other again. " Hisana stood there while Ayame flounced back. Of course she was lying. But what if she wasn't? She couldn't possibly know about Rukia. What if Rukia really was there? She had to find her and never abandon her again. She wrestled with her thoughts, and only stopped when she felt a light touch on her arm. "Hisana." It was Kazuki. "Miyako told my sister. I was there. If you disappear, they'll give your spot to someone else. Miyako wants Kumiko to get in. " Hisana's eyes widened as the realization crashed down upon her. Never trust anyone. In the end, they'll always betray you.
She was foolish to actually believe that there was hope. She couldn't become a soul reaper. There were other people, worthier people. Miyako's smiling face flashed in her mind. IT had all been fake. All. Of. It. Hisana is weak. she's selfish. She'll run away from her problems, again. She's been shattered, all over again.
The dust chokes her even more now. She has new clothes- the soul reapers were kind enough for that. Nothing has changed. The people scream, but no one hears them. And now they are curled up in the dust, sobbing, moaning, vomiting blood. Faces are dirty and houses are mere shacks. So different from the clean, white, perfect Seireitei. A child grasps her yukata, his pale face pinched and hands trembling. So different.
She asks around, but no one has seen a child with startling violet eyes like her own. She feels nothing now.
"Hisana!"
She turns around. It's Kazuki, dressed in vivid robes of indigo that stand out so much amongst the plain, dust covered surroundings. And then there's red. Scarlet. It sprays the ground, and then the screaming. A toothless grin and long brown hair. She never knew brown could be so pretty, against the dust, and the terror, and most of all, the despair.