Chapter Nine: Release

Lacus's azure eyes opened at precisely 3AM, her biological clock already set to wake up at the time Kira had been haunted with his nightmares the most. It wasn't as if Lacus had wanted to wake up at such an early hour – she just did, following her worry for the brown-haired Coordinator that had faced so many hardships during the war. Six months had passed since the battle of Jachin Due, and she was beginning to learn a lot about the young pilot. She learned several of his likes and dislikes and his unbelievable talents in programming that he had once used to play with her Haro. She was beginning to learn of the small details of who Kira Yamato was, but at the same time, she did not allow herself to forget his broken self, which she was beginning to see less and less as the weeks passed by.

Very quietly, Lacus climbed out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping children, and she walked out of the bedroom, closing the door shut behind her. She cast her blue-grey eyes to the direction of where Kira and Athrun's room was located, but there were no signs or sounds of any trouble. Not that she would hear any of his screams from here, if there were any. But even Lacus knew that the nightmares were fading away, and she was grateful for that.

She descended the stairs, listening to the winds of the oceans as it blew outside. Lacus walked out of the orphanage and her eyes rested on a silhouetted figure standing a distance away from the shores. At first glance, she worried that it might be Kira, but the shoulder-length hair blew with the wind and she identified the silhouette as her ex-fiancée instead, Athrun Zala. Lacus's eyes softened and she moved towards him, unsurprised when he sensed her and turned, his emerald green eyes widening with surprise. "Lacus… Is everything alright?" Athrun asked.

"Yes," Lacus answered, moving to stand beside him. She inhaled deeply, the wind blowing through her long hair. "It's peaceful tonight," she remarked. "Are you alright, Athrun?"

"Ah…"

Lacus peered into Athrun's face, noting the faraway look in his eyes. He was, admittedly, her first love, and she knew that a part of her would always continue loving him, though it wasn't like what she felt for Kira. Her feelings for Athrun were gentle affections to one with such a kind heart. She had liked him when they had first met, when she had gazed into his brilliant emerald eyes, his face handsome, framed by midnight-blue hair and his body, strong and confident, holding the air of a soldier, but still always blushing furiously when they met, having child-like innocence to the topic of love... He still had those qualities now.

When her father had told her that she would be wed to Athrun Zala, Lacus had accepted without question. She had grown up with the thought that she would need to marry one that wasn't her choice, and to have such a fine person to be her husband was something that she never opposed against. And she had loved him, truly, and cared about him, but Lacus had seen what she knew he couldn't. During the first war, when they had launched in the Eternal and was saved by the Freedom following Athrun's confrontation with the late Chairman Zala, she had seen how his eyes had brightened at the sight of Cagalli when they docked in Mendel. She had seen how Cagalli had only needed to be herself to make Athrun smile, sometimes even managing the very rare chuckle that was as precious and rare as a fine pearl in the depths of the ocean. And she knew, instantly, that she wasn't the one whom Athrun had needed. She had once commented, during the war, how Athrun never seemed to smile anymore, and Athrun had responded by asking how he could possibly do so in the middle of a war. She had failed in trying to make him smile – something that Cagalli seemed able to do with ease, and she understood.

Lacus wasn't the only one, of course. Athrun had loved her as well, had cared for her gentleness and kindness of one so pure in heart. He had originally been flustered with the idea of marriage, both being fourteen when they had first been introduced to each other, but he had come to like her softness as they continued to learn about each other, both accepting the fact that they would be wed to one another. He had been surprised when Lacus had boldly told him that she liked Kira after Kira had returned her with the Strike, but Athrun could clearly understand why anyone would like Kira, and why Lacus's gentle soul was attracted to Kira's kindness. When the Clyne Faction had rescued him from Chairman Zala and he had boarded the Archangel, he had been surprised to see Lacus there, but even then, they seemed distant from each other. Something had changed, and he knew his affections had changed when the Eternal was hit and he caught Lacus in his arms, the feeling of having her body against him foreign instead of comforting. He had seen how her eyes had shone brightly when Kira came to protect them with the Freedom, and he, too, had understood.

When the Eternal docked and they separated, Athrun watched with a dull ache in his chest as Lacus and Kira spoke to each other from the other side of the hangar. He had been with Cagalli then, and the golden-haired girl had asked him if he was alright with it, considering that Lacus was his fiancée. Athrun had bleakly answered that that was a thing of the past, and his idiocy had ruined the engagement. He had been negative at the time, of course, after his father had shot him and told him that he was a disappointment. He had also felt the guilt when he watched from afar as Lacus cried for her father… her father, Siegel Clyne, who had been assassinated under Patrick Zala's orders, and he had not done anything to prevent it…

But Cagalli, ever the strange creature of a girl he had never knew could exist, had made an idiotic attempt at humour by saying that Athrun was an idiot, and that Kira was one as well, then continuing in saying that all Coordinators were idiots. He had smiled then, his lips tugging into an involuntary smile at her absurdity, and he had been surprised with himself. He couldn't remember the last time he had been forced to smile, his heart warm as he regarded the princess of Orb. She had made him laugh and smile since the first time he had met her, and he had only began to discover his feelings as he watched Kira hugging Lacus from afar, comforting her, and realised that his true affections was never with Lacus at all.

A part of him, a deeper part of him that cared for Kira like no other, had been truly grateful that Lacus had her affections for him… Kira needed someone gentle to look after his kind soul, and Athrun could think of no other person capable of helping him care for the brown-haired Coordinator apart from Lacus Clyne.

"I'm going to stay at Cagalli's family mansion starting tomorrow," Athrun said suddenly, breaking the silence between them.

Lacus raised her eyebrows, tilting her head slightly. "Is that so? What will you do, Athrun?"

Athrun cast his eyes low, a small smile on his lips. "I don't know, Lacus. I might take up an alias and be her personal bodyguard. Actually, I don't know what I should be doing right now…" he admitted, still easily opening up to the pink-haired songstress. "The war is over, but I still don't know what to do."

She smiled at him, placing a gentle hand on his arm reassuringly. "That's alright, Athrun. You can find out when you're there," she said calmly.

He nodded. That was what he had intended to do, of course. He had talked to Cagalli about it, and she had grudgingly agreed. He needed some time away from himself… from his name, Athrun Zala. He needed some distance away from what had happened, from the memories of his late father, and he needed to figure out his purpose in life. He would take the name Alex Dino and remain close to the one person he knew he could rely on to keep him from losing himself. Athrun cast his eyes back to the orphanage, his gaze resting on the right side of the building where, he knew, Kira slept deeply. "That guy… Look after him," Athrun said quietly, his eyes wavering. "He used to be so different."

"You did, too, Athrun," Lacus said, following his gaze. Athrun chuckled darkly to himself. She was right. He had changed, too.

"Right now, he needs you, Lacus," Athrun said, turning to walk away. He paused to glance at his ex-fiancée, his first love, still someone he had some affections for, still someone he wouldn't hesitate to put his life on the line for to protect, and smiled warmly at her. He had been worried about leaving Kira behind at first, but now, six months after Jachin Due, he had seen the subtle changes in his friend and knew that if anyone could bring the old Kira back, or at least heal the broken self that used to be the kindest soul, it was Lacus. "Take care, Lacus."

Lacus returned the smile, clasping her hands in front of her. "You too, Athrun," she answered. Athrun turned and walked away, and Lacus's voice rose slightly; "Athrun. Do not blame yourself for what your father did. You are Athrun Zala. You are your own self," she said, watching as he continued to walk, not even turning back. But she knew he had heard her. She never blamed him for the death of her father. Not even an inch of it. She still loved him for who she knew he was, but she knew that it was Cagalli whom Athrun needed and loved, just as how it was Kira that she needed to protect.

Author's Notes: I guess this is more of a Lacus/Athrun chapter. Quite honestly, I love the whole Lacus/Athrun pairing, and I was sad to see them part from each other… though I prefer the Kira/Lacus pairing even more, and I really like Athrun/Cagalli. It's just that we never really understood their feelings for each other in Gundam SEED, so I tried to explore it in this chapter. Lacus just suddenly moved to loving Kira, and I always wondered how Athrun felt about it. Anyway, Lacus and Athrun really did meet at the age of fourteen. Refer to the audio clip "Haro" from Suits Volume III. I really like how this chapter turned out, and I hope you enjoyed it as well. Let me know?