Mexico,

America's calling you names? That brat is nothing but trouble, I always told England that. But does anybody ever listen to me? Hell no. *angry muttering* If I see him around I'll give him a good hit on the head for you.

Who says that bastard isn't trying to get in through my windows? Heck, he fucking broke my door once. He's always hanging around and talking waaaaaaaay too much, being too freaking cheery and too damn close! He keeps randomly hugging me and shit like that, I beat him to a pulp, of course.

He was a real wimp as a kid, though. Crybaby always hid behind me everytime something happened, then again those bastard moors were pretty damn scary... We were little brats, ok? I was just a kid too, I didn't fucking know how to fight off guys like that! I did better than Spain though.

Well, I guess I've got my share of guilt in that colonization crap... It's nothing I'm proud of, kid. I've told my kids that, and nowdays I just try to help them forward the best I can, give them the advice I've got and just... Be there if they need me, I guess. I don't badger them about it or hang around when they don't need me. I learned from watching England and Spain that it's a stupid thing to do, not my kind of thing either.

I've got a fair share of kids... Though I guess being 'motherly' or 'nurturing' never was my greatest strenght. Hell, I don't even like kids, but... I guess I got used to it when I helped Spain raise Romano. He reminded me of myself when I was his age, a snotty ungrateful little brat who couldn't express himself through anything but curses and harsh words. Belgium even said it when she first met him; 'He's like a tiny Portugal! How cute.' If Netherlands hadn't been there I might have hit her. It was damn annoying how everytime we went out shopping or anything people (Spin's people, the idiots...) kept mistaking him for my son. I'm not his fucking mom damn it!

Lazy brat's still laying on my couch being as grouchy as ever. He comes here a lot, I guess I don't piss him off as much as the rest of the dumbasses over here. It was always easier with him than the other kids, stuff like expressing feelings and that crap was always hard for him. But it's just as awkward for me, so it works. Spain just doesn't get it, I guess that's why the brat usually comes to me with stuff first.

Pfft, I've never been ladylike in my whole life and no one has the guts to bug me about it, just tell her off.

-Portugal.

P.S. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here.

P.P.S. How the hell did this letter get so fucking long and sappy?

Portugal,

You'll slap America for me? Hm… that might knock a bit of sense into him (but I highly doubt it)

Seriously, Spain broke down your DOOR? Jeeze, he's so far only broken windows… I suppose it's only a matter of time until he breaks down my door. Mexico City is no help, either. Her only weapon is a BROOM. I keep telling her to use a knife or my daggers or SOMETHING and then she rants about uncivil I am and stuff *rolls eyes* Like a broom would do anything to stupid Spain. He STILL calls me New Spain sometimes! At least he doesn't try and pull your hair curl when he sees you sometimes. *shudders*

It's not bad to be a little brat, I'm grown up now and now I'm a asshole when I want to be. It's more fun to be an ass than some country who's always happy and will do everything for people *shrugs*

You helped Spain out with all the colonization? Ah, I don't blame you, only that tomato-loving bastard. It's best to keep out of their way, they'll get ticked off at you. Look at what happened with our (not-so) friendly neighborhood pedophile. He still bothers and stalks us while we hate his guts.

The closet I have to "kids" are America's stupid states. They seem to bother me and Canada as much as they do America. They can be annoying… very, very annoying… Dang, Belgium said THAT? You have willpower, my friend, Netherlands or not I would have slapped her if she said anything like that to me. That must have been horribly annoying to go through…

That makes sense, I would go to anyone BUT Spain with a problem. Heck, I'd go to France- who was a better father figure than Spain, for goodness's sake!- with a problem before I would go to Spain… Tell Romano I say hello

~Mexico

P.S. Haha, then we'd have a lot to talk about XD

P.P.S. No clue, and how did I turn your letter into my letter? Seriously, mine must be the opposite of long and sappy… okay, it's long. But not sappy