Chapter 9

Blessedly the dreams had stayed away for the rest of the night, allowing Ben a few hours of solid sleep. It had been over a week since he had anything resembling true rest and he woke feeling, not quite refreshed, but decidedly less death-like than previous days.

His mind was haunted by the images from his nightmares, unable to shake them. Seeing Rey, dead in his arms over and over again, had caused a wound in his soul that he worried he wouldn't recover from. His mind flowed with regret at hiding it from her for as long as he did. He was barely able to make eye contact with her, as he pushed his food around on his place. His stomach soured from their experience last night, the idea of eating nauseated him.

He could feel her watching him cautiously, as he pretended to eat his breakfast. While he knew he couldn't avoid her forever, he felt nothing from patience and love through their bond. He thought of her words from the previous night, wondering if there was a possibility that she was right. In some ways they didn't feel like his dreams at all. In truth, he had felt that way when they first started, but as time progressed he worried that his belief had somehow simply become wishful thinking on his part. A way to distance himself from the potential truth of his fears. At some point he accepted them as truth.

Too fatigued to close his mind completely, he could feel Rey following his thoughts gently, as he continued to ruminate over the nightmares.

Before they started, she said gently through their shared connection, did you fear me dying during childbirth? Our children turning on us?

His eyes lifted to look at hers. His heart fluttered as he saw undying and devotion reflected back at him.

Not really. Or at least not often, he admitted. But now that I've seen it over and over…

"It's become a fear," she whispered in response, reaching across the table to grasp his hand in hers.

He bowed his head in shame, although not really understanding what he had to be ashamed of. How could it not? He ran his free hand through his hair as he thought how pervasive these thoughts had become in his life. Rarely giving it a second thought, now they had woven their way into his everyday.

"I love you." It was the perfect response at that moment. He knew there was very little she could say to relieve the fears that had become his reality. The memories of the nightmares were simply too fresh. But knowing that she loved him, regardless of his fears, gave him everything he needed. He squeezed her hand in gratitude, returning all his love for her through the bond.

"We should go," she said softly, knowing they were already running late for training with the Force sensitives. Ben had been delaying a little more each day, unsure what he dreaded more, the dreams or training with Cyrus.

Ben sighed deeply in response, standing with his tray in hand. "Fine," he muttered. "Time to face my waking nightmare."

"He's not that bad," Rey laughed, grabbing his hand as they walked to take their trays back.

"I know," Ben replied with something between a chuckle and grumble. "I'm just so tired that dealing with him feels a hundred times harder than it should be." Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling his strong body towards hers. Ben breathed in her deep, kissing her hair softly, allowing her comfort and love to envelope him. They stood there quietly, simply being with each other.

"You're stalling," she whispered, as she felt him kiss her softly. Again.

"Maybe," he mumbled, sighing into her, not really caring at that moment.

. . . . .

Rey and Ben rounded the corner into the Force sensitive camp, happy to see that Finn had started lessons without them. He had proven to be a huge help in terms of taking on additional workload and teaching basic classes to the newest Force sensitives.

He smiled widely when he saw his friend arrive. He had a huge group of students all lifting rocks, which Rey couldn't help but laugh at. "Always with the rocks," she chuckled. As they approached the group, Cyrus caught their eyes.

Instinctively Ben rubbed his eyes as the deep level of fatigue set in as the young man came into view.

"You look tired Ben," Cyrus said slowly, a smirk spreading across his face, as the pair walked by him and his sister. "Not sleeping well?" His voice was dripping in sarcasm, with an edge of smug satisfaction.

Normally Ben would have ignored him, but something in his tone, coupled with Rey's words last night made him pause. He could feel Rey's interest piqued as well, as she slowly turned her head to face Cyrus. She simply stared at him with discerning eyes, as Ben remained quiet, his gaze moving back and forth between them both.

"What would you know of it Cyrus?" she asked, her voice low and cautious. Ben followed her mind, as she puzzled out his sudden interest in whether her husband was sleeping.

"Who me?" Cyrus laughed sarcastically. "I don't know much about nightmares." The last words hung heavy in the air, as Ben resisted the urge to rip his way through the boy's mind. It wouldn't have been so long ago that he would have violated him that way, but now he walked a different path. Made different choices than he had in the past.

"How could you possibly know I am having nightmares?" Ben said deeply and slowly, not wavering his eye contact with the young man at all as he walked slowly towards him.

"Cyrus no," River gasped. "Please tell me you didn't…" River's eyes were filled with tears, her face wore the expression of both shock and understanding.

"I was just having a bit of fun," Cyrus chuckled, waving as he dismissed his sister's comments.

"Fun?" Ben said, fury and rage bubbling up from inside of him as he realized what had been happening. The ground started to shake as he continued to walk his way slowly towards the young man. "You think watching my wife die over and over again is FUN?" His voice was booming now, as his eyes swirled with a darkness he hadn't felt in years.

Rey's eyes went wide, as she comprehended what had been occurring. The dreams were not his afterall, but sent to him by Cyrus. But how? She wondered. Finn reacted quickly, pulling the rest of the students back, moving them away from the scene as quickly as possible.

Rey quickly stood between Ben and Cyrus, knowing that a single slip of Ben's self control could be devastating. Ben… she willed him through their connection. He wasn't listening, he continued his slow walk towards Cyrus, as the boy started to grasp at his throat, unable to breathe.

She turned her back to the young man and placed both her hands firmly on her husband's chest. "This is not you, Ben Solo. Do not let the likes of him forget who you are." Her voice was strong and confident, but her eyes filled with nothing but compassion and love.

Ben gazed at her briefly, but it was enough. Cyrus dropped to the ground, coughing, as Ben sank to his knees, his hands in his face. Rey knelt beside him, wrapping her arms around his strong shoulders.

Cyrus saw his chance, as he slowly rose to standing, still grasping at his throat. He raised his hand in attack, his eyes filled with anger but before he could react, River blocked his path.

"NO!" she shouted, throwing her brother back with a Force push, both hands raised in the air. She watched as he flew across the camp, hitting a tree and fell crumpled to the ground.