PLOT HOLES, ANNOYANCES, AND STUPIDITIES IN BREAKING DAWN, OR AS MANY AS I CAN THINK OF.
KEEP IN MIND, TWILIGHT SUCKS.
(Then why do you write fanfiction for it? BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!)
1. Remember when Jacob almost attacked Bella when he found out that she planned to give up her virginity on her honeymoon? SO FREAKING STUPID! He's angry because husband and wife are going to do what a husband and wife do?...But then again...Bella wasn't very gentle about it.
Jacob: So, hey what are you going to do on the honeymoon? Is he just going to...ya know...
Bella: I AM GOING TO WRECK HIS SPARKLING WHITE ASS!
Jacob: W-What do you mean?
Bella: I'LL STRAP ON A DILDO AND TAKE HIM UP THE ASS. -foams at the mouth-
Jacob: You're going t-to...
Bella: I'm going to take his virginity and squash it!
Jacob: YOU WHORE! SLUTTY SLUT, SLUT, SLUT!
Bella: Oh my gosh, Jake, why are you so angry?
Jacob: YOU FUCKING WHORE OF A SLUT!
Bella: -Suddenly gets angry- If you expect me to, liek, nawt to take his dog for a walk, then you're like seriously disturbed. It's none of your business anyway. Why don't you just like...go imprint on somebody?
Jacob: -Grumble, grumble- Bitch -grumble-
*KEEP IN MIND, I AM NOT TEAM JACOB, THIS IS JUST HOW I INTERPRETED IT. I'M TEAM ROSALIE ^_^*
2. Bella trying to seduce Edward. Laughable!
3. You were all waiting for it! It is not physically possible for Stephenie Meyer's vampires to impregnate someone. First off, he has no blood in his veins...so...you know...no boner. Second, sperm cannot survive in open air for more than a few hours. It can only survive in a woman's body for a few days. Surviving in a dead body for eighty years? NOT LIKELY.
4. The half vampire half human thing...She's a monster, get over it.
5. Jacob imprinting on her? Messed up. Stephenie had been hinting that Jacob would end up with Leah, but then she makes him imprint on not only a one second year old baby, which makes him a pedophile (not as bad as Edward, but still). But ALSO, not possible! She is half vampire, she is his enemy, therefore, they can't be together. He is naturally repulsed by vampires!
6. The Volturi. To some things up, this is what happened. Irena saw Renesmee, thought she was a baby vampire, which is illegal. So, she ran off and told the Volturi. The Volturi show up, to make sure for themselves. But the funny thing is, like it was something special, every single person in the castle came.
Aro: YOU DISOBEYED A LAW! YOU MUST DIE!
Bella: -Flips shit- RAHHHH!
Renesmee: I'm totally not a creepy child. -tilts head until her bone is poking out-
Aro: LET ME SEE THE CHILD
Renesmee: -Looks into the eyes of Aro-
Aro: I know this sounds wrong...but I want to fuck you.