Mulder had never been embarrassed about having anyone over to his apartment before. The small, cluttered bachelor digs suited him perfectly. Suddenly they seemed shabby. Katyana Krycek was like an elegant doll misplaced in some messy closet. He should have taken her to Scully's. She would have been just as safe there. He didn't even have a bed for her to sleep on- but it was too late now.
He laid sheets and a blanket on the sofa and ordered her to try to rest. She looked so pale. She had hardly spoken since the police had arrived. When Mulder told her to come with him, she had merely nodded, never questioning his rationale. She seemed...broken somehow. First her father, then Alex, and now Nick...she had lost everyone she loved.
Mulder turned out the lights and settled down onto the floor next to her. He could hear her muffled crying. It was breaking his heart. She was so young, so innocent... He knew he would probably regret it, but he stood up and walked to the couch. Wordlessly, he laid next to her and enveloped her in his arms. He held her for hours, stroking her silky hair away from her tear-streaked eyes until at last, deep in the night, she had drifted to sleep.
He awoke the next morning with a start, disoriented by the stranger who slumbered in his arms. Slowly, his memories returned, and he planted a soft kiss on her temple. He pushed away from her slowly, so as not to wake her. She would need her rest.
Katy was still sleeping when Mulder emerged from his shower, and he decided to leave her alone. He left a note telling her he would be home at five o'clock, and headed off for work.
Scully was in a very foul humor. She glared at him as he walked through the door.
"So, no news about Nick Krycek?"
He shook his head.
"Not that you'd know, since you didn't spend the night at Katy Krycek's house. I thought it would be nice of me to stop by there on my way to work."
Mulder winced and pretended to be very interested in pouring a fresh cup of coffee.
"So, how was Katy?" Scully asked. It seemed like a polite conversation, but Mulder could feel the double-entendre lurking there. He and Scully had such a weird relationship. They were never going to get together, but she was so protective of him. In all fairness, he had to admit that he was pretty protective of her too.
"Fine. I finally got her to sleep." He decided to tell Scully about his meeting with the Cigarette Smoking Man. Her concern mirrored his own.
"Do you think its true?" She asked when he finished.
"No, Scully. I don't . He's never cared about anyone but himself. Why should he start know?" But he has helped me before...the tiny voice of doubt chimed in.
"Still, do you think its safe leaving her alone with the disk?"
Mulder hadn't considered that problem before. How much did he trust her?
"I don't think it will be a problem." He voice sounded surer than he felt.
He tried to get some work done, but he was distracted. He oscillated between utter contempt for the idea of suspecting Katy and a paralyzing nervousness that he had been fooled. He called the apartment several times, but there was never any answer. Was she gone? Or merely respecting his privacy?
Finally, the uncertainty became overwhelming.
"I'm going to call it a day." he told Scully around three o'clock.
She nodded, as if she were surprised that he had lasted this long.
He hurried home. Katy was still there, he could hear her moving around as he stood in front of the door. He flung it open.
Boxes and papers were everywhere.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mulder bellowed.
Katy jumped and spun around.
"Mulder!" Katy gasped.
"You heard me, what are you doing?"
Her lower lip began to shake." I was just cleaning up for you...I thought it would be nice...I always clean when I get upset." He examined her closely, the bottle of Tilex and washrag she held in her hands attested to her honesty. He stepped into the apartment. In the kitchen the dishes had been neatly cleaned and stacked. The linoleum gleamed. That floor was whiter than it had been in living memory.
Katy looked deeply into his eyes. She was trembling, but refused to cry. "I didn't touch your stuff. I just moved some stacks so that I could clean around them."
Again, the evidence corroborated her story. Mulder's furious expression slowly faded into a look of shame. Katy had been working all day to do something nice...and this was how he repaid her? He had let his suspicions overwhelm his judgment. Mulder felt like an ass.
"I'm sorry Katy..." he began lamely," I'm just...sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"That's alright." She looked down. "I should have asked first…Have you heard anything about Nicky?"
Mulder felt another wave of self-loathing as he shook his head in the negative, and then watched Katy's face fill with sadness and fear.
He thought that changing the subject would be a good idea."You need to eat something. What do you want for dinner?" he asked.
"Are you cooking?" Katy asked. Mulder was relieved to see the tiny glimmer of a smile on her face.
The thought had never occurred to him. It might be a nice way to repay her for the scene he had caused. " Sure, why not?" He rummaged through the cabinets. "Looks like we're having Macaroni and cheese and fish sticks." He said, a little forlornly as he surveyed he supplies.
"That's okay." Katy's resigned tone confirmed that she hadn't expected anything more.
Katy put away the cleaning supplies. She seemed to have recovered from the shock Mulder had given her, but he could sense that she was still agitated- no doubt worried about her son.
"Why don't you put on some music?" he suggested, thinking some background noise would further soothe her.
" I think I'll change first."
"You look fine."
"Mulder! These are my cleaning clothes!"
She disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the water come on. It was hard to concentrate. She was so close- naked and wet, rubbing rose scented soap onto her creamy white skin...Mulder shook his head. He busied himself with putting the dishes away. Any other time he would have left them alone, but he had to do something, ANYTHING to get Katy Krycek off his mind.
"Come and dance with me Mulder." Katy's voice broke through his musings and surprised him. Glancing at the clock, Mulder say that fifteen minutes had passed. Had he really been that distracted. He turned toward her. She had changed into a short, gauzy sundress than skimmed closely over her breasts and hips. The look of worry in her eyes had evaporated.
She took his wrist and led him into the living room. Strains of "Love Me Tender" floated through the darkened room.
"I'm really not much of a dancer."
"You don't really have to dance." She said, laying her head against
his shoulder. She swayed gently in tune with the music.
"Katy."
"Shhhh..." She laid her finger against his lips." I don't want to talk...or even think..." she added sadly, " Just...just feel."
Katy slid her finger over Mulder's chin, down his neck and over his stomach. His muscles clenched in response- longing toward her touch.
Mulder knew that it was wrong- Katyana Krycek was a victim, grieving over her husband and missing son. She was under his protection- Yet, he couldn't resist her any longer. Mulder lifted her face toward his lips and gathered her into a deep, probing kiss. It felt so good. It felt- What was it she had said about she and Alex?- inevitable.
No one else could ever understand what he faced when he lost his sister and realized that his family was to blame. No one but Katy. She had felt the same loss, the same betrayal, the same pain.
The music ended with their bodies still pressed close together. Without really thinking, Mulder steered them both toward the bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. Katy leaned back on his mattress, her dark hair fanning out around her face, her eyes heavy-lidded and full of lust…and he knew that he was lost.
He made love to her- Scully's reminder and the intruder's warning
forgotten. He lost himself in the luxury of Katy's body. She was so warm and responsive. It was as if she had been waiting for him to come to her, as if all their lives they had been made for each other and only just met.
When it was over, he held her tightly.
"Katy..." He breathed her name against her hair and she looked up into his eyes.
"Shhh..." Katy silenced him again with a kiss. "Don't talk." She reminded him. She arose from the bed gloriously unconscious of her naked body. She went to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine. She poured a glass and held it too her lips before offering it to Mulder. He accepted it from her, and she rejoined him in the bed, tracing her finger in patterns across his chest.
Mulder drank the wine and then leaned back against the pillows. Before long, he drifted off to sleep.
It was morning. Mulder glanced at the clock. 6:30. The alarm must have woken him up. He didn't ever remember sleeping so soundly.
"Katy?" there was no response. "Katy?" he called again, a little more insistent.
Adrenaline surged through Mulder's veins. He ran to his CD rack and opened the CD case where he had hidden the disk- and then slumped in relief. The disk was still there!
"Katy?" Mulder called a third time, still concerned about her disappearance. He stood up from the couch and nearly tripped over a white paper bag on the floor beside him. He picked it up. Two strawberry iced donuts were inside. A note was taped across the front:
I'm sorry to leave like this, but I need some time to think- some time to figure out what I'm going to do next. I'll be back as soon as I can.
- Katy
"So, do you want to hand off your baby-sitting duties tonight?" Scully asked later that day.
"No."
"Getting cozy?"
"No...its...she isn't staying with me anymore."
"Isn't staying with you anymore?" Scully cocked her head in confusion. "Well, where is she staying then?"
"I'm not really sure."
"What?"
"She just needed some time alone."
"Did she say when she was going to be back?"
"No."
"Mulder-" Scully's voice was strained. "Doesn't that bother you?"
"She checked out, Scully." he took the disk out of his pocket and placed it on the desk." I never should have doubted her."
"That's not what I meant."
Mulder blinked in surprise. Did Scully know that he had slept with Katy? Or did she merely see that he was becoming emotionally involved? How could she have sensed what he was afraid to admit to himself? He examined her face: calm, controlled. How did she feel?
What would she do if she knew?
"Yeah, Scully. I'm fine." He wanted to tell her more- how he had finally begun to trust, how secure he felt in Katy's arms- but he couldn't bear to hurt her that way. It was a sort of pact between them: if it wasn't spoken, it didn't really happen.
What would he do when Katy returned?
He imagined himself in a sunny future he had never considered before: On the same stretch of northern beach. Dark-haired children splashing in the waves and Katy's voice reminding them not to swim out too far- A family again. And Scully...? Where was Scully? A kind old aunt who sent great birthday presents? A name on a Christmas card list? He couldn't relegate her to that. He didn't want things to ever change...but they would have too.
He sighed and returned to his work. He could worry about that tomorrow- and enjoy today.
The airport was crowded, but Katyana Krycek spotted her objective immediately after clearing customs.
"Mama!" Nick cried as he ran to meet her. "I missed you so much!"
She threw her arms around him, relieved to see him again." I missed you too!" She reached into her carry-on and extracted a plastic box filled with baseball cards. "You forgot these."
"Thank you mama." Nick opened the lid and began sorting through the cards.
Katy felt an arm go around her waist. She stiffened slightly.
"Did you bring me a present to?" The warm masculine voice relaxed her immediately.
"Yes." She replied. She reached into her bag again and extracted her powder compact." I had to work really hard to get this. You owe me."
The man laughed. "I'm sure I can think of some way to make it up to you," he said coyly.
She met his eyes with a secret smile, before opening the compact to reveal a shiny, silver disk.
"How long until he realizes you have it?"
"Maybe he'll never know. At least not for sure. I replaced it with a decoy."
"He'll know as soon as he runs it."
Katy shrugged nonchalantly. " I put some mumbo jumbo on there. It'll be weeks of decoding before he realizes he has book of Revelations in Navajo."
" ...And another week before he gives up trying to piece together some government conspiracy from the biblical symbolism." He chuckled." Katy, you're brilliant."
"I know."
Alex Krycek gathered his wife into his arms and kissed her."Now, let's get home." he cast a self-conscious glance toward Nick." I believe I have some making up to do.
THE END
A/N - Wow...I feel like a have a LOT to apologize for...First, the 6 months between updates were NOT cool...I'm really sorry about that. Second- I know there may be a lot of continuity errors in this. I wrote this story over Christmas break in December 1996, just after the Terma/Tunguska Arc aired (WELL before the series ended...yes, I am super-proud of myself for calling the "Super Soldier" angle)...Also, I was a silly, 21 year old kid back then (as opposed to a jaded, bitter old thirty-something now ;))...with more life experience, I recognize Mary-Sueish character traits and situations that I would probably not included if I wrote the story over again...but I'm lazy, so that isn't going to happen.
Thank you for your reviews! They really are a treat! Let me know in the comments if you have any good Krycek recommendations of your own!