Hmm where were we? Oh yes we are ready to hear (read) what Edward's take on this night is. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

On a more serious note. We were blessed with a review of the last chapter that was honest, respectful and written with so much thought. Hotvox my lovely reviewer suggested that a warning in an A/N might be warranted in light of the careless behavior of our young teenagers. I agreed.

In light of this please know that I am a full believer of birth control not only to prevent an unplanned pregnancy but STD's as well. Please if you are reading this and you are in a relationship committed or not do not I repeat do not follow these two down a careless night of passion it is risky and does not end like a lot of our favorite FFs do in kisses and roses. Slow down and keep your head about you. Also be warned there are some angsty chapters in our future these two waited a long time to get to this point and let their hormones have control so be prepared for the fall out.

SM owns all things Twilight

Today had been a seriously fucked up day and it was only going to get worse I knew it. After the shit storm at Jane's Emmett stopped at the store and got some Tequila and we did some shots when we got home. I was feeling a bit more than buzzed by the time the girls had come home and played the tape of Jane's sorry ass. A part of me was happy and hoped that Rose had fucked her up on the other hand I had cared for her and it just fucking hurt. Things were pretty fuzzy and I stood as the girls came down the stairs. When Bella walked in I nearly fell over and not from the intoxicated state I was in. She looked hot and the fantasy I had of taking her against my bedroom wall flooded my brain. I shook the thought away and asked where the douche was and if he was riding with us. I didn't really care but I needed to rid myself of the thoughts I was having. I couldn't believe what I was hearing she had broken up with him. Before I could stop my mouth I made some snide comment about hearing them the other night. I was drunk and pissed off I should have just kept my mouth shut. What she said next nearly killed me. I stopped listening at her admission she was in love with someone ells. The cab pulled up just then and we all piled in.

I quickly found a stool to sit on when we got inside. The lights were flashing and the music was pounding. I could feel base in my chest and my ears. The shots had all caught up to me now and I was fucking tired all of a sudden. I felt weight on my lap but figured it was Alice Jasper hadn't gotten here yet that I knew of. It was crowded and if she was going to sit on someone's lap it would be mine or Emmett's. I placed my arm around her waist to make sure she did slip off. My eyes were shut so the room wouldn't spin and my head rested on the wall behind me. I think I may have even snored a little until I heard Alice shriek.

"Edward what the Fuck!" My head shot up and took in Alice she was standing in front of my with both hands on her hips…Wait she was standing who the fuck was sitting on my lap. I blinked and looked down that's when the light bulb went on and I noticed it was Jane on my fucking lap. My instant reaction was to push her off me. She wasn't expecting it and landed right on her ass on the floor. I must have had look of disgust on my face I sure as hell felt like I might throw up at this point. She was yelling at me about how she had forgave me for yelling a sluts name and fucking saw red I knew Bella didn't want me but fuck if she was going to call her a slut. I was about to stand when Rose came out of nowhere and grabbed a hold of Jane's hair she pulled her to the side and got right in her face. I couldn't make out what she said but it must have been good because Jane and her friends took off.

Everyone sat down I had Bella right next to me I could feel the heat radiating from her body and I could smell her shampoo and lotion. I was going to go fucking insane that's when I noticed Jasper had sat down with Alice on his lap.

"Don't you dare fuck with my sister or you'll really regret it." I could hear the slur in my words as I tipped my glass of…..what the fuck was this was it water? He said something sappy about poking his eye out my word vomit for the evening continued when I made a remark about the ones you least expect hurting you. I am sure they thought I meant Jane but it was the brunette sitting next to me that was ripping my fucking heart out. They all got up to go dance as I started in on my second glass of water.

I had been zoned out looking at my glass of water trying to ignore the fact that I had had a constant hard on since Bella had sat down I finally broke the silence when I felt her eyes burning a hole in my head. "I'm really not that drunk you guys had to put me on water" She looked at me in shock "We actually were starting to think you hadn't noticed" she said shyly. I laughed at that, it felt like I hadn't laughed in weeks "I'm not that drunk Bella" we fell back into silence for a few moments after that, then she asked "Are you okay Edward?" I looked over at her, I needed to either be honest with her or lie and play it off I have never been comfortable lying to Bella even when it came to how I felt about her I spent most of my time avoiding her all together because of it. "Not really Bella. And if it's Quill's attention that you want so badly I can tell you now he's noticed. You're really hard not to notice" I had noticed Bella spending a lot of time with and near Quill and was sure it was him. He was a good looking guy I guess he was a muscle bound pick….ok so he wasn't a prick he was a nice guy but I could see how he would undress Bella with his eyes every time he saw her. I knew the look well I had been practicing it for years. What Bella said next nearly made me pass out. She looked at me dead in the eye and leaned in just a bit bringing her warmth closer to me.

"He's not the one I want attention from. This guy I've known for a little while now, he has the most amazing green eyes that I could stare into all day, he has this natural hair color that is a really weird bronze shade, that I fantasize about running my fingers through, he's kinda dorky but in an unbelievably sexy way, he's apparently a star wars fan, but I still want him" Her eyes drifted down at my lips and she licked her own before continuing. "he has what look like the most incredible kissing lips, and he's my best friend's brother

I felt my mouth open and then close again I didn't know what to say. "I….I thought Alice was your best friend?"

"She is Edward, and Emmett doesn't have green eyes" She had a shy smile on her face and her eyes never left mine. I felt her hands on my face and as I blinked her lips made contact with my own. My eyes rolled back into my head and I thought for sue I would cum right there. Her lips were warm and soft and wet from her tongue. My brain went blank for what felt like a year but afraid this would end too soon I let my tongue flick her bottom lip and she immediately opened her mouth to me. I was consumed by her all at once. Her tongue danced with mine and I felt a moan building in my chest when I heard someone clear their throat and the moment was lost. I looked up to find Jane standing there hands on her hips.

"I thought you said there was nothing between you two?" I am not sure if it was the alcohol that brought on another round of word vomit but I was pissed I had waited for two years to even feel her lips on mine and it had to end with this bitch in my ear.

"There hadn't been Jane, but I've been in love with Bella since the moment I met her, now fuck off" I was working on pure alcohol and adrenaline I moved back to kissing Bella trying not to give her a chance to protest. I had just admitted my feelings and told Bella inadvertently that I loved her..so not the way I had always dreamed of declaring that to her. I felt like a complete dick I knew we were both wasted and this was not the way I had wanted this to happen but I was thinking with my dick and a small part of my heart and I didn't give a shit. I knew it would hurt like hell in the morning when she realized it was a mistake and that she had had entirely too many apple martinis. My breathing was uneven and I was a little light headed part of it was from that fact that my dick was so fucking hard there was no blood left to go to my brain. I could feel my heart pounding my chest. As quickly as the kissing had started Bella pulled back looking at me.

"Edward I think we should go home." I could feel her pulse under my hand that was still cupping her neck. I could do nothing more than nod as we both stood. She took out her phone texted something and shoved it back into her purse. "Just letting Alice know I was taking her drunk brother home." There it was she couldn't tell her what was going on she was ashamed to be with someone like me she was drunk and wanted me tonight but it was obvious that she wasn't about to declare her undying love for me to my sister. I didn't care if this was my one shot to have Bella and pretend for a few hours that she wanted me too I would take it. I hated myself for it and I was disgusted for being so pathetic. She had just broken up with Riley and she needed someone if all I could be was her rebound than I guess I would have to live with it.

We got into the cab and I figured I had one shot at this so I was going to live out my dreams of having Bella. As soon as the cab began to move she was tugging at my shirt and my hair as our tongues tangled together. We made it into the house and I shoved her against the wall next to the door as I palmed her breast.

"no no bedroom, Alice will kill us" she panted. I grabbed the clothing we had discarded on the floor and took her hand leading her to my room. I slammed the door shut and pressed her up against it. I felt like I was having an out of body experience but there was something about the way Bella felt her soft skin her small pants of breath it lit a fire in me that I didn't know existed. It was primal I felt like an animal a predator stalking his prey. I we were tugging and pulling at clothes and before we knew it we were both naked and neither of us seemed to care. I had dreamt about this exact scenario countless times. Fuck her body felt good against mine. I reached down and palmed her ass lifting her off the ground as I let a growl escape from deep in my chest. I pressed my mouth to her ear.

"I've always wanted to fuck you against my bedroom door Bella" I didn't ask I didn't wait I just plunged my dick into her dripping wet center. I looked at her eyes and she looked like she was about to say something and I pounded my hips into her again she closed her eyes and moaned out in pleasure. Bella was little and light but I had never ever done this before and I wasn't going to last long my arms were burning and my legs were as well. I felt her nails dig into my back and my stomach began to tighten and I silently prayed she would come with me. Just as I began to lose my shit I felt her body stiffen and her head fell back making a loud thud noise on the door as she came. I pushed one last time up into her and began to pulse long and hard into her. It was at that very moment I realized I was not wearing a condom. FUCKING SHIT SHIT SHIT! Then I remembered that she was on the pill and I relaxed a bit. I carried us to the bed and laid down next to her letting us both calm our breathing.

The haze of lust and sex was clearing the room and reality was beginning to set in what the fuck do we do now?

"Did you mean it? Did you really mean what you said, about loving me since we first met?" she whispered I almost didn't hear it. I was beside myself how could she even ask me that. I let a small chuckle out as I nodded, that yes I meant it every fucking word.

"How about you, did you mean it Bella?" I knew it was a long shot but I had to know.

"Yes" she whispered and I waited for the "but" when it didn't come I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her slowly the way I had dreamed our first kiss would be. I never dreamed we would be naked but I wasn't complaining.

I whimpered a bit into her mouth as I felt her hand wrap around my dick that was now hard as steel. I slipped my hand down between her milky thighs and pushed two fingers into her wet center and let my thumb draw small slow circles around her clit. She pumped me harder and as her body began to writhe under my touch her hand stopped and I took in the most beautiful sight in the history of man. Bella was coming and I had made it happen.

"God you're even more beautiful when you cum Bella" I whispered into her ear as I kissed her neck. She pulled at me and I thanked whatever God had allowed this night to happen that she wanted me again. My head was much clearer this time and again if this was our only night than I wanted to make love to her I didn't want her to think I had just fucked her one night.

I moved above her and moved the hair that was hiding her face. I began kissing her more like worshiping the perfection that was Isabella. I pulled one hard pink nipple into my mouth and moaned around it. She dug her hands into my hair and arched her back off the bed.

"Now please Edward, I want to feel you again" she said softly. I looked up to meet her eyes and smiled at her I couldn't help it. I wanted I needed to know she wanted this I had to be sure it was what I should have done in the first place. I drew her eyes to mine. "Are you sure you want me Bella?" She nodded her head and whispered please. I moved into her slowly never moving my eyes from hers. I began a slow steady pace committing every moment to my memory knowing I would never regret tonight no matter what tomorrow brought..

"I should have done it this way to begin with, our first time should have been like this, oh god I really love you Bella, I can't believe how confident I can be with you" Every movement I made felt right our bodies fit like she was made just for me. It wasn't like this with Jane it was nowhere near this. I felt like I could do anything. I let my head fall to the crook of her neck and I wasn't sure I heard her right but it sounded like she responded with "I love you too so much." I didn't question I just felt. I felt our bodies moving in time together they were slick with sweat and the sounds of our moans and sighs filled the room. The fucking world could have ended and I would not have noticed. I whispered her name and my devotion to her over and over until her body arched into mine and I slipped a hand under the small of her back pulling her to me as I spilled into her. Again it flashed in my head that I had not wore a condom but I was looking down at Bella's body it was slick and glistening with sweat and I couldn't bring myself to care.

We lay wrapped around each other in silence for a while before she spoke.

"What does this mean Edward, are we together now, or are you still too drunk that you won't remember this in the morning?" She sounded so sleepy and I almost thought she was talking her in sleep. I looked down at her and I could see that she was awake.

"What do you want it to mean Isabella?"

"nah uh I asked first". She squeaked out.

"Bella I love you and I'd love nothing more than to have the chance to call you my girl" I felt kind of cheesy saying it but it's what came out. A huge smile spread across her face.

"So I'm your girl, you're my man, and we're together, together then? Are we going to let everyone else know or do you want to keep it a secret?"

"I want to tell the whole damn world Bella" I meant it I would go find everyone now if she wanted. I couldn't believe this was happening that tonight was real. She snuggled into my side and we both drifted off to sleep.

I wish I could say that I had the most restful night's sleep of my life that simply was not the case. I was racked with nightmares all night. They were of all the ways I would screw this up. The clearest one came in the early morning. I had not pushed Jane off my lap at the club but rather let her go down on me and Bella caught us. She was screaming at me and I was almost in tears as I tried desperately to explain. "It was all a mistake Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but it was a mistake, all a mistake" It was so fucking real that it jarred me awake. I sat straight up and looked to the other side of the bed and it was empty. I looked at the clock and it said 9:30. I rubbed my eyes and crawled out of bed. I saw that Bella's clothes were still in the pile near the door. I moved to put on some pajama pants and when my head began to swim and my stomach sour. I dashed for the door and made it into the bathroom just in time. I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth before I went back into my room and pulled a t shirt on. I made my way into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. My mother was sitting with Alice and they were both starring at me.

"Uhhhhhh Mom?" Her eyebrow shot up and Alice got up from the table and mumbled something about asshole as she walked by me. I watched her walk up the stairs to her room when I heard Bella's bedroom door open. I spun around to see if it was her and it was Emmett.

"Hey morning dickward! Can I have a word?" What the fuck was going on why the hell is my mother in our house and why is everyone pissed at me? Were they all pissed that Bella and I had gotten together I kind of thought they would be happy for me especially Alice and Emmett. Emmett shoved me into my room and slammed the door behind him. I started to speak and he put his hand up and closed his eyes.

"Edward just keep your fucking mouth shut! If you say anything I will be forced to beat the living shit out of you right now and I don't want to do that alright just give me a second." He took a deep breath and let his hands relax at his side.

"Fist let me start by telling you that when we got home last night and Rose and I went to go to bed and I walked in on you and Bella in bed I was so fucking happy for the both of you."

I couldn't help it I had to interrupt.

"Wait you walked in on us when what did you walk in on?"

"Edward that isn't important….let's just say since you don't know that I walked in you both must have been having a very very nice time alright."

Fuck I didn't know if I should be pissed or just smile at the memory.

"Anyway! But after this morning I could kick the shit out of you. I mean what the fuck Edward? What is wrong with you? I though you cared about her are you that fucked up or did you really just want to dick her?" His face was getting redder and redder the longer he went on. I put my hand up to stop him.

"Hold the fucking phone! What the hell are you talking about dude?" I nearly yelled.

"Don't play dumb Edward Bella told me everything after Rose and Alice got her to stop crying."

Holy shit she regretted it in the light of day fuck I knew it was too good to be true.

"Emmett listen to me I said a lot of shit last night and I meant all of it if she thinks I didn't she's wrong." I didn't know exactly how it happened but when I came to I was on the floor and my mother was standing over me yelling at Emmett.

"Emmett Masan Cullen what the hell were you thinking! You could have really hurt him."

"Mom stay out of it." I had never in my life heard my brother speak to our mother that way and if my dad had been here it would be Emmett on the floor with me. I slowly climbed to my feet while rubbing my jaw and making sure I could still move it.

"Mom gives a minute alright." I motioned between Emmett and myself. She gave me that motherly "are you sure" look and I nodded. She left the door ajar when she left.

"What the hell is wrong with you Emmett?" I started to yell but brought my voice back down. "and what do you mean she is crying would you just tell me what the hell has gotten you so pissed off at me?" I pleaded with my brother to shed some light on a very fucked up situation.

"Edward for God sake are that fucking dim witted? You screw Bella last night a girl who has been fucking hung up on you for two years than you tell her it was all a big mistake and you don't know what the fuck is wrong?" I stared at him with a blank look on my face.

"Edward so help me if you don't start explaining yourself I will knock you the fuck out again!"

Just then Bella appeared in the door way. Her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying a lot I knew that look I had seen it before on her when she left to go back home the first time she came over. She was sad distraught even. I walked passed Emmett and took Bella by the hand. I lowered my voice and whispered in to her ear.

"May I speak with you for a moment…alone?" She wiped away a stray tear with the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing. I pulled her across the hall and into her bedroom. I closed and locked the door behind us. I released her hand and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Bella…..did you tell them that I told you last night was a mistake?"

"Tha..Tha….Thats's..wh…what you…s…..s…..said" She was fighting so hard not to cry anymore she wasn't angry she was hurt and sad. She thought I said that the greatest night of my entire existence had been a mistake.

"Bella honey when did I say that I couldn't have."

"Edward please don't call me honey. You said it this morning you laid there and said it over and over again…..It fucking sucks when your subconscious does your talking for you trust me it happens to me all the time." She sounded so vacant absent from all emotion.

I stood there wracking my brain for a memory anything then it hit me the fucking nightmare SHIT! To my knowledge I had not talked in my sleep since Alice and I were kids. I dropped my hands from her shoulders and ran my hands through my hair as I began to chuckle at myself.

"FUCK YOU EDWARD! How dare you laugh at me I tell you I am in love with and have been since well since for fucking ever and you're going to stand there and laugh well you can go to hell!"

Just then there was a pounding on the door.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" Emmett's loud voice boomed from the hall. He must have heard Bella yelling at me. I walked closer to Bella and moved her hair away from her eyes. I looked into her beautiful blood shot eyes.

"Isabella Marie Swan you are the most beautiful women and so fucking adorable when you're pissed. It was a dream." She cut me off.

"I wasn't dreaming EDWARD!" she yelled

"Not you me and it was a fucking nightmare not a dream. I had nightmares all night about how I could fuck this up" I motioned between us. "I dreamt that I let Jane go down on me and you caught us and I was explaining to you how it was a mistake and I was sorry. Bella last night could never be a mistake and I will never be sorry we made love." I stood there frozen in my spot praying she would believe me.

"S….So you don't think last night was a mistake?" I shook my head trying not to let the huge smile spread across my face too quickly.

"You want us to be together for real like be my boyfriend for real?"

I couldn't take it anymore and I pulled her to me into a long slow deep kiss. She moaned into my mouth. I moved us to the bed and she pushed me back and crawled on top of me straddling my hips. I reached up and pulled her down to me for another kiss.

"I love you Isabella." It felt so freeing to finally say it.

"mmmmm make love to me Edward." She whispered on my lips. I reached up and pulled the sweatshirt and tank top she had on off of her body to reveal her perfect breasts. I let my hands rest on her hips as she worked on my t shirt. I lifted enough to get it off and crashed her down to me so our naked chests could touch. I relished in the feel of her body against mine.

"Shit Mamma Es" she said when she broke our kiss.

"Bella please don't talk about my mother while we are making out." She giggled a bit but she sat up. I let out a low growl over her stopping our makeup session. She moved to get off of me when the door flung open with a crash. Bella screamed and I quickly grabbed her naked body to me.

"Oh fuck….shit I um I guess you guys worked it out um Bella if you need me I…um….Dude your mother is in the kitchen!" He all of a sudden looked disgusted by what he saw rather then the blubbering embarrassed idiot.

"Em dude mind getting the fuck out and shutting the door?" He held up a hand in surrender and closed the door over. We both started to laugh and I winced as I laughed a little too hard and my jaw had a shooting pain go through reminding me of the asshole move my brother made.

"Oh Edward I'm so sorry I got you hit does it hurt are you ok we should get some ice on that." She was placing soft kisses on my cheek.

"I'm fine but if you want to kiss me all day I could go for that." I smirked at her. She slid off of me and picked up her tank top and pulled it on as well as the sweatshirt. "Kissing later and we will finish this tonight." She tossed my shirt at me.

"Come on I need to go explain things to Rose and Alice or you're going to end up with two black eyes to go along with that messed up jaw."

I laced our hands together as we walked into the kitchen Rose, Alice and my mother were at the kitchen table while Emmett and Jasper were sitting in the living room watching ESPN.

"Wow that was quick you sure don't take long do you Eddie?" Rose quipped.

"Rosalie!" My mother admonished. Bella berried her face into my shoulder.

"We weren't we didn't nothing was going on." I did a half assed job at explaining we were not having sex contrary to what it was obvious my brother had told them.

"Thanks a lot Emmett!" I yelled at him. He chuckled as he came up behind Rose. He took my face in his hand and went to the freezer and took out a package of frozen peas and tossed them to me.

"Sorry about that bro but you can't blame me you were really looking like and asshole there for a bit I mean you sleep with Bella and…."

"Emmett for Christ sake!" I didn't want to discuss this in front of our mother.

"On that note kids lets go get some brunch your father will be wondering where we are." My mother walked by giving both Bella and I a kiss and patting me on the back. She had this stupid grin on her face.

"How long has my mother been here?" I asked Bella quietly.

"Since she caught me leaving your room with nothing on but your bath towel." She admitted.

I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"I should probably tell you that Emmett and Rose tried to come into my room last night to go to bed and he saw us on the bed that second time." I whispered and laughed at the expression on her face.

"OH MY GOD HE DIDN'T!" She yelled as Emmett came back into the room.

"What didn't Edward do wear a condom? Of course he did Bella I taught my little bro to always wrap his shit up." Emmett was talking out of his ass he loved to interject into a conversation even if it had nothing to do with the topic. We both froze at his statement however, both of us realizing at the same time that I in fact had not wore a condom either time and I didn't even bother to pull out. We didn't say anything or hardly even look at each other much less him. He clapped his big meaty paw on my back as he moved back to the living room.

"Sooo I guess we should get ready to go hm?" I said.

"Um ya I guess so…..Edward?"

"Ya?"

"I love you" her eyes were wide and they held a hint of an emotion I couldn't quite label. I kissed her softly and whispered "I love you too baby" before we both went to our rooms to get dressed.