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After the shock of seeing Mamma Es wore off and I saw the big grin she had plastered on her face I lost it. I completely lost it. I let out a little sob and threw my arms around her, looking for comfort in the only mother figure I had on this side of the world and before I knew what I'd said it was out "He hates me Mamma Es, and I really really need a mum" Mamma Es stroked my hair and said "shh honey, I'm sure he doesn't hate you, it's okay shh" When Alice's bedroom door opened and her and Jasper came into the hallway both with questioning looks. Alice came over and wrapped her arms around me from behind and told Jasper to head downstairs and ask Rose to come up here, Jasper had taken two steps when Mamma Es cleared her throat. Alice said "oh shit, sorry mom, Jasper this is my mom, Esme, mom this is Jasper" Jasper quickly replied "It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am" Jasper must have held some sort of an expression because Esme just giggled and said "you too Jasper, you can escape now, send Rose up we'll deal with this, just don't tell Emmett why Rose is needed". I'm not sure exactly how I went from being wrapped in Mamma Es's and Alice's arms in the hallway to lying on my bed with Rose on one side and Alice on the other. I was just starting to get my crying under control and I noticed Mamma Es wasn't in the room. "Where'd Mamma Es go?" I asked although it made my crying start to get out of control again. "Shh B, you need to calm down hun, Mamma Es just thought it would be better if we got the story out of you, you seemed to lose the plot even more each time you looked at her". Rose said. "He hates me, he thinks it was all a mistake" I told them while struggling with a new round of sobs. "I woke up this morning and he was saying it was all a mistake and he didn't mean to hurt me" I heard both the girls gasp when I finished talking and began to struggle to get enough oxygen on the very verge of hyperventilating. Alice spoke first and very calmly almost like talking to a child "Are you sure you heard him right? Edward has been crushing on you for a long time Bella, maybe he's just freaked out, give it an hour and he'll come to his senses and apologize, you two were made for each other". "He told me last night that he loved me and wanted to be together, and this morning he couldn't stop saying it was a mistake" I managed to choke out. "He fucking did what?" All three of us were startled by the sound of Emmett's voice none of us had heard him come in. "Go back downstairs babe, I'll let you know when you're allowed back in here." Rose told him. I don't know how long I lay there crying into my pillow with Rose and Alice on either side, hugging me and offering words of comfort, Mamma Es came back at some point and that was when I declared "If he wants to look at last night as a mistake that's his problem, I don't have to view it that way" I hadn't meant to say it out loud but apparently I had. "You are absolutely right Bella dear, and I'm sure in time my idiotic son will realize the only mistake he made was uttering those words, now how about some breakfast darling?" Esme said. "No thank you Mamma Es, I think I'm going to just lie down for a little while longer". "Do you want us to stay with you?" Alice asked. "Nah you're right, I'll be okay" I said. "Well we'll be downstairs, let us know if you want anything" and with that they were out of my room and I was just staring at nothing. I didn't hear Emmett come back in but he was silent when he did. He just lay down next to me and held me. "Whats up Bella, you alrite? I don't need to murder my own brother do I?" "Don't be silly Emmett, I'm a big girl. I just got my hopes up for something that's apparently never going to happen" I told him. Emmett looked at me for a few minutes when he asked "Are you positive you're not confused about what he said this morning, my little brother has seriously been moping around after you since you walked into our lives and I really can't understand why he'd do this" Emmett told me while stroking my hair. I went to answer him a few times but had to stop because the tears were threating to over take me again and I didn't want to turn into a blabbering mess on Emmett "I know what I heard Emmett, I just wish he hadn't told me he loved me last night, this wouldn't hurt as much if he hadn't lied to me about his feelings, I'm sure he just wanted to use me to get over Jane. How could he lie about that Emmett?" "Shh baby Bella, I really did think he loved you. I don't know what happened" Emmett tried to soothe me. I snuggled into him and cried for a little while longer while Emmett just
held me. I was so lucky to have these guys as my friends. But they are Edwards family. "I think maybe I should go home Em" I said, shocking myself as well as Emmett. "No no don't do that, please don't do that Bells. I love knowing your only a short plane trip away, Alice has loved having you here, you've made some friends here. Edward will come to his senses and realise exactly what the mistake in all this was, and you two hooking up was not it" he told me sounding almost like he was begging me. If only his brother cared if I came or went. "You can't leave, promise me you won't run Bells, please". "You know I love you Em, but I can't promise that. Maybe you should head back down to Rose, I'll be alright, I just need some time to think" I told him. "Bells why won't you promise?" he asked. "Because I just don't know what I should do. As much as I don't want to admit it Edward was a large part of why I decided to come here again, I hoped he would finally really see me. I'm not going to be able to deal with this hurt again, and I'm only going to be every time I see him, and what happens when the next Jane comes along I really don't think I can do it. Maybe I can transfer and live with you and Rose." I sniffled out. "You know we'd welcome you with open arms my little Hells Bells" he told me kissing the top of my head. "I know Em, and please don't call me that, it's one of their worst songs" Emmett had let out his rather loud laugh at my complaint. When he finished laughing he lent down gave me a kiss on the check and said "I'll leave you alone for now, I won't ask can I sit next to you girl, as I know you've been thunderstruck, you and Edward completed dirty deeds done dirt cheap last night because you make him hard as a rock and now your Back in black and you touch to much on the Highway to Hell and now I'm going to go get me some whole lotta Rosie because its a long way to the top but be careful with a Flick of the switch there will be a nervous shakedown for those about to rock resulting in a sink the pink jailbreak" with a giant smirk on his face. This is a game Em and I have played often, trying to make sentences out of a bands songs, which is where Em calling me Hells Bells started. "14, I think that may be a new record for you Em" I told him with a smile on his way out the door. That's why I love Emmett he can make me forget about anything for awhile when he's around.
I don't know how long I'd been lying there, tears silently falling down my cheeks, it didn't seem to matter how much I told myself that I needed to be positive, that it doesn't matter that much but it really wasn't working. I was startled when I heard Mamma Es yelling, it sounded like she was yelling at Emmett something about not hitting his brother and that he could have really hurt him, I was even more surprised when I heard Emmett snap back at Es. Emmett wouldn't have gone after Edward would he? Not when I told him to leave it. Emmett shouldn't be taking my side, Edwards his brother. I do not want to come between them. I decided it would be wise of me to check on them I just made it to my door when I heard Emmett say "Edward so help me if you don't start explaining yourself I will knock you the fuck out again!". Oh my god, Emmett didn't did he? I made my way to Edwards doorway as that's where their voices were coming from, the door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open and opened my mouth to say something to Emmett when Edward walked over took hold of my hand and whispered in my ear "May I speak with you for a moment…alone?" Having him this close and feeling his breath against me like that hurt, and made the tears I'd barely managed to stop moments ago start to fall again as Edward dragged me across the hall into my bedroom and locked the door.
Edward dropped my hand and placed his hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes said "Bella…..did you tell them that I told you last night was a mistake?"
"Tha..Tha….Thats's..wh…what you…s…..s…..said" I managed to get out through my sobs.
"Bella honey when did I say that, I couldn't have." Edward said, causing another crack through my heart. I'd wanted Edward to call me things like honey for so long. The last crack was the last straw for my heart I think, it caused a feeling of complete numbness to overtake me.
"Edward please don't call me honey. You said it this morning you laid there and said it over and over again…..It fucking sucks when your subconscious does your talking for you trust me it happens to me all the time." I told him in a weird voice I didn't even recognise as my own.
As Edward stood there looking like his was trying very hard to remember something and running his hands threw is hair it all started to make sense, of course he would think last night was a mistake, he's so much better than me and I really don't deserve him. Just then Edward let out a giggle and I lost my shit.
"FUCK YOU EDWARD! How dare you laugh at me, I tell you I am in love with and have been since, well since for fucking ever and you're going to stand there and laugh well you can go to bloody hell!" I yelled at him.
Just then there was a pounding on the door.
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" Emmett's loud voice boomed from the hall. He must have heard me yelling at Edward. Edward seemed to snap into action at the sound of Emmetts voice and walked closer to me and moved some hair away from my eyes. Looking into my eyes he said.
"Isabella Marie Swan you are the most beautiful woman and so fucking adorable when you're pissed. It was a dream." OMG is he seriously that scared of Emmett he's going to claim I dreamt it.
"I wasn't dreaming EDWARD!" I yelled cutting him off.
"Not you, me and it was a fucking nightmare not a dream. I had nightmares all night about how I could fuck this up" He motioned between us. "I dreamt that I let Jane go down on me and you caught us and I was explaining to you how it was a mistake and I was sorry. Bella last night could never be a mistake and I will never be sorry we made love." I stood there frozen in my spot trying to make sense of what he just told me and whether or not I could believe him.
"S….So you don't think last night was a mistake?" I asked him. He shook his head
"You want us to be together for real, like be my boyfriend for real?" I asked him still not 100% sure he meant what he was saying and wasn't just scared of Emmett.
I was trying to process everything when he pulled me to him and kissed me. I think I may have moaned into his mouth. He moved us to the bed and I pushed him back and crawled on top of him straddling his hips. He reached up and pulled me down to him for another kiss.
"I love you Isabella." He said with a huge smile on his face that looked so genuine, maybe he really did mean it.
"mmmmm make love to me Edward." I whispered on his lips. I figure even if he's not serious, I may as well enjoy it while I can again. He reached up and pulled my sweatshirt and tank top off. While I quickly returned the favour by removing his, Edward wasn't exactly the most muscley man, but he was still sexy without a shirt on. I'd just got his shirt off and he was crushing as back together so our naked chests could touch. I loved feeling his naked skin next to mine.
I was just starting to imagine what it would be like to have him inside of me again when I remembered his mum was downstairs in the kitchen, I couldn't have sex with him now. "Shit Mamma Es" I managed to get out while trying to make my brain function properly again.
"Bella please don't talk about my mother while we are making out." Edward said . I giggled a bit and sat up. Edward let out a noise that almost sounded like a growl. I was just starting to get up to get dressed again when my bedroom door came flying open, I couldn't help the reflex scream what escaped my lips, completely forgetting I was top half naked, I was glad when Edward pulled me back down to him so Emmett didn't get an eye full of my chest.
"Oh fuck….shit I um I guess you guys worked it out um Bella if you need me I…um….Dude your mother is in the kitchen!" I heard Emmett say, but I was very content snuggled into Edwards chest that I wasn't looking up.
"Em dude mind getting the fuck out and shutting the door?" Edward said. I heard the door close and let out a little giggle the same time Edward did, although Edward seemed to wince slightly as he did. I could clearly see where Emmett had hit him and I felt bad, I should have waited to talk to Edward this morning.
"Oh Edward I'm so sorry I got you hit, does it hurt? are you ok? we should get some ice on that." I
said placing soft kisses on his cheek.
"I'm fine but if you want to kiss me all day I could go for that." he smirked at me. I slid off of him and put my tops back on. "Kissing later and we will finish this tonight." I told him while throwing him his shirt to put back on.
"Come on I need to go explain things to Rose and Alice or you're going to end up with two black eyes to go along with that messed up jaw." I told him.
Edward laced our hands together as we walked into the kitchen Rose, Alice and mamma Es were at the kitchen table while Emmett and Jasper were sitting in the living room watching ESPN.
"Wow that was quick you sure don't take long do you Eddie?" Rose quipped.
"Rosalie!" Es admonished. While I buried my face into my shoulder.
"We weren't, we didn't, nothing was going on." Edward managed to stutter out obviously embarrassed. Bloody Emmett should learn to keep his mouth shut at times.
"Thanks a lot Emmett!" Edward yelled at his brother in the other room. Emmett was chuckling as he came up behind Rose. Emmett went to the freezer and took out a package of frozen peas and tossed them to Edward.
"Sorry about that bro but you can't blame me, you were really looking like an asshole there for a bit I mean you sleep with Bella and…." Emmett said to his brother.
"Emmett for Christ sake!" Edward said, sometimes I swear Emmett doesn't understand the whole concept of there being appropriate times, places and audiences for conversations, but I guess thats one of things that makes Em, Em and I do love him just the way he is.
"On that note kids lets go get some brunch your father will be wondering where we are." Mamma Es said walking by giving both of us a kiss and patting Edward on the back. She had this stupid grin on her face. I'm glad she's not mad at me for being the reason her sons were fighting earlier.
"How long has my mother been here?" Edward asked me quietly.
"Since she caught me leaving your room with nothing on but your bath towel." I whispered back.
He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.
"I should probably tell you that Emmett and Rose tried to come into my room last night to go to bed and he saw us on the bed that second time." He whispered and laughed at what I can assume was the expression on my face.
"OH MY GOD HE DIDN'T!" I yelled before I could stop myself.
"What didn't Edward do wear a condom? Of course he did Bella I taught my little bro to always wrap his shit up." Emmett said, I hadn't even heard him come back in. We both froze at his statement both of us realising at the same time that there had in fact not been a condom worn either time or any pulling out. Neither of us said anything or hardly even looked at each other much less him. He clapped his big meaty paw on Edwards back as he moved back to the living room.
"Sooo I guess we should get ready to go hm?" Edward said.
"Um ya I guess so…..Edward?" I said slightly nervous
"Ya?"
"I love you" I told him completely freaking out.
He kissed me softly and whispered "I love you too baby" before we both went to our rooms to get dressed.
After I was dressed I made my way back downstairs where everyone was waiting and sorting out how we were getting to brunch. Apparently Edward was going to drive Emmett, Rose and myself, while Esme, Jasper and Alice will be going in Mama Es's car. We all quickly piled into the cars and were on our way. Where we were meeting Daddy C is about 45min drive at a little out of the way cafe. About 10 mins into the trip I'd started to really freak out about what Edward and I had done last night. I didn't want to be a mum yet. I wanted to get married and work for awhile first, I figured kids would come when we were about 25, I didn't want to be in my 30's and having kids, I'd always figured my
first one at 25, another at 27 and my last at 29, I wanted 3 kids. I wonder how many Edward wants. I wonder if he even wants any. I love babies. One of my best friends back home had a baby half way through year 10 and she's the most precious little thing ever, I really do miss her as much as I miss her mother. It was hard to maintain the friendship after her birth but I'm glad I put the effort in, especically if Edward has super sperm that has knocked me up. I'm broken by my inner ramblings but the sound of a voice asking "Edward you don't have super sperm do you?" I hadn't even meant to ask it. Emmett started chocking he was laughing that hard in the back seat. Edward was laughing slightly next to me but managed to stay composed to ask "what are you talking about darling?" I had meant to give him a stern look but imagine my surprise when I hear my voice saying "I don't want to be pregnant, teenage mums get so much shit, well at least they do at home I don't know about here" Edward quickly hissed "Bella" and looked behind us to the back seat when Emmett yelled "Edward what the FUCK did you do" Oppsy. I turned back towards the backseat "Emmett I love you, you know I do, and I'll let you know if I need your services but right now there is a soundproof shield here between the front and the back, you can't hear us, and we can't hear you and Rose" I told him. "It's alrite Bella, I'll try and keep him from putting his big fist in the way again" Rose told me as I spun back around. "I'm sorry Edward, I honestly hadn't intended to say any of that my voice spoke before I really told it to" I said looking down at my hands hoping he wasn't really pissed at me. "Hey, Bella look at me" he said as he reached over and took my hand in his. I slowly looked up at him "I love you Bella, if you can forgive me for this morning, I'll happily forgive you for now" he told me. "I love you too, but lets just pretend that this morning never happened, we both woke up together in your bed end of story" He giggled and then said "Why are you stressing so much, your on the pill right? Thats why an alarm goes on your phone every night at 8:30 isn't it?" Is that why he didn't wear a condom. Argh does he not realise there is other things to be protected from. "How many people have you fucked without a condom Edward" I hissed at him before I gave permission again. "Oh shit sorry, that wasn't meant to come out" He just giggled again, "Just you Bella, however now I'm curious about your answer". "Just you Edward" I told him. "So theres an excellent chance we're both disease free, but if we should prob both get checked just to be sure" I continued. "Bella you didn't answer my question" he said interrupting my rambling. "Huh what question" I asked him. "Are you on the pill Bella" he asked. "Umm well about that, yes and no. I'm suppose to be, but well um I haven't been to a dr here because I don't need to be on it so I figured it wasn't important" I told him while looking at my hands again. "Shit, Fuck" Edward hissed under his breath. "I'm so sorry Bella, I should have checked, or I should have been responsible." he said. I put my hand on his thigh and said "No Edward, WE should have been more responsible, but whats a little more drama in the wake of this morning, really?" I said giggling, he joined in.
We were quiet for a little while, the only noise in the car was Emmett and Rose making out and whispering things to each other like a couple of in love high schoolers. I was the one who broke the silence when I asked Edward "Do you even want kids?" Edward squeezed my hand that he'd taken back into his a little while ago and answered "Yeah of course I do, I would prefer it wasn't in 9 months, I want to be finished with school first, what about you?" "Yeah I do, I want three, the first when I'm 25, the second when i'm 27 and third when I'm 29" "Can I marry you when your 21 then? So we'll have a few years before the kids come along?" I let out a giggle, he isn't serious is he? I mean sure I would love to marry him and have my kids with him, I haven't imagined any different since I met him but argh, he was looking at me while I was having my mental conversation. "Well you won't know until you ask me the question will you" I answered him sticking my tongue out for good measure. "Hmmm" Edward said while fishing around for something in the thingy between the two front seats when he arbutly says "ahuh" taking hold of my hand he slips a key ring on my ring finger and says "Isabella Swan will you marry me?" before I had the chance to answer him Rose who was sitting behind Edward leaned forward and whacked him on the back of the head causing Edward to nearly send us off the road undeterred she said "Bella don't you dare say yes, don't be such a douche
Edward, Esme and Alice will only need 6 months to plan a wedding so you have plenty of time to do that properly. Bella give him back the key ring" Through the hysterical giggling I managed to get the key ring off and give it back to him and told him "you heard the lady in the back". Rose then told Emmett "Lesson one on how not to propose Emmy, you better get it right or I won't be as nice as Bella about it". "Don't worry about Rose I'll get it right the first time" Emmett told her. We were only a few minutes from our destination and the time was spent with me finding it hard to contain my laughter, I think I was on the verge of being hysterical, today has defiantly been a roller coaster of emotions and I don't think I can be blamed for loosing it slightly. I woke up so blissfully happy, to be utterly crushed, heartbroken and devastated to blissfully happy again.
As we pulled up in the car park I really completely lost it, Jasper, Alice and mamma Es looked at me oddly as Edward helped me out of the car and inside. I heard Alice asking Rose what had me in a giggling fit, I didn't hear Rose's response. We soon spotted Daddy C sitting at a table, I think I knocked over a chair as Edward helped me into one. I saw Daddy C raise an eyebrow as everyone else was taking their seats and asked if I was okay. Edward was the one to answer and said "I um think she might be um becoming hysterical dad". Emmett laughed and said "I don't think there's a might be about it Eddie boy". Mamma Es said "leave her alone boys its been quiet a morning for her". "Whys that, what's happened?" Daddy C asked, before anyone else could answer I heard Emmett's voice, "Well you see Daddy dearest, Bella and Eddie boy here hooked up last night, then Smella thought he thought it was a mistake, got all heartbroken, so I knocked Eddiekins here out, they made up, I nearly walked in on them doing the dirty for a second time in 24hrs, then it was revealed that you didn't give Edward anywhere near enough lectures about wrapping his junk, and Bella isn't taking any form of contraceptive, they're getting married when they're 21 so Edward proposed to Bella, Rose whacked Edward and nearly killed us all, and that dear father is why Bella is hysterical"
Everyone was silent for a second, including myself as Emmett's recap of this morning seemed to bring me back to reality. As quickly as the silence came on it ended. Daddy C said "Bella darling are you okay?", Mamma Es said "Edward you did not propose to Bella like that did you?", Alice said "Bella I'm too young to being an Aunty" Jasper said "Oh my god I love this family" Rose said "Emmett you idiot, learn to keep you're mouth shut" Emmett was just laughing and Edward and I were both apologising to each other.
Daddy C took charge then and said "Everyone stop talking" we all stopped and looked at Daddy C. Thats when he seemed to notice there was a new edition to his family turning to Jasper he said "Can I assume that you are Jasper" Jasper stood up and extended his hand to Carlisle and said "yes sir I am, and yes I know to wrap my junk, and I have no intention of proposing to your daughter in the car" Everyone started laughing at Jaspers out burst "You have to keep this one Al" Emmett declared through his giggles. "Do you have any intentions with my daughter" Daddy C asked putting on his serious face again. "Only to spoil her and treat her like a princess until she tells me otherwise" Jasper answered while looking at Alice. He's so sweet. "So no intentions of proposing then?" Daddy C asked, "No, not at the moment sir, but who knows what tomorrow holds" he answered. "Good, Good" Daddy C said while nodding. He then turned his face back to me and Edward and I quickly took Edwards hand under the table causing him to smirk. Daddy C opened his mouth to speak when a waitress came over to take our order. When food ordering had been taking care of Daddy C was looking at us again. "Now you two" he started "Bella did you say yes to Edward's proposal?" he asked "No Rose told me I wasn't allowed to and he needed to do a better job" I told him. "Rose thank you for apparently being the only adult in that car". "Hey what did I do? And did you miss the part in my story where I said Rose hit Edward and nearly killed us all?" Emmett injected. "Emmett dear, please be quiet or Rose will end up
punishing you and we'll have to put up with your bad moods." Mamma Es said. "Yes Emmett listen to your mother, she's a smart lady" Rose said.
While they were talking Edward had turned to me and said "Would you have said yes if Rose hadn't opened her mouth", I gave him what was meant to be a quick kiss and said "yes" which lead to Edward deepened the kiss and we lost ourselves in the moment. "Thats going to take some getting use to" Emmett said "Thats for sure" Daddy C replied, "They're adorable" Mamma Es said "Absolutely" said Rose, "They're going to make me such cute nieces to dress up" Alice said. Those were the words that forced us to break our kiss. "I'm sorry" Edward whispered, "Me too" I whispered back. We were saved from any more conversation regarding our hooking up by the arrival of food, and everyone else was distracted by other conversations for the rest of the time. We'd been spared of the rest of brunch. After brunch we all piled back in the cars to head home, taking Daddy C with us because he'd had a friend drop him off on their way through because Esme didn't want to wait for him this morning.
When we all got back to our place Rose and Emmett needed to start organising their things as Esme Carlisle were dropping them at the airport on their way home.
"So wanna show me you're room?" Edward asked me.