6

The next few weeks were long and hard. Some days I wouldn't get out of bed, but I would never stay in bed longer than a day anymore. I didn't want to worry anybody. The depression that grasped my heart for so long started to lose its grip on me. My life seemed to take on an endless pattern. First, I would wake up. Then, I would clean myself up and go downstairs. Peeta would always come in the mornings with some sort of baked good. The two of us would eat together, and then leave my house. Sometimes we would go to Haymitch's house and make sure he was still alive, and others we would explore the other houses in the Victor's Village. We used to avoid the remains of District 12 after my incident, but then people started to arrive. Now, we sometimes help them build or we would hand out food.

Our relationship seemed to be less complicated every day we were together. There was no Capitol pressuring us to be together. He didn't hate me anymore as far as I could tell. Of course, he would still have his bad moments where a certain tainted memory would come back to his mind. He would have to grasp the thing closet to him and hold himself back, but now we knew what to do. He would tell me what the memory was like for him, and I would tell him what really happened. We learned new things about each other. Things that we may have never learned if he was never hijacked.

I sometimes silently thank the Capitol for that. Even though it was horrific, Peeta and I's lives would be so much different. He would be so irrationally in love with me. We would have probably gotten married. But our relationship would always be lopsided, tainted by the Capitol. We would have been together not out of pure love, but because we had to. Because we had to save the lives of so many.

This is how it is supposed to be, I thought to myself one day Peeta and I were walking. Maybe I wasn't in love with him, just yet, just like I didn't believe him to be in love with me. But we did love each other. He was my friend. My best friend. We are looking out for each other just like before. We are talking about everything. He could always talk easily with anybody, but I found it easier to talk with him than anybody else on Earth. Just like I was putting him back together, he was also putting my broken pieces back into place. Another thing that I would owe him, something that I could never repay, but I didn't feel resentful about this. For once in my life, I truly didn't feel like I had to care of everybody, especially myself. I want him to help me, just like I was helping him.

The nightmares continued to haunt me in the middle of the night. Many moments in my life would replay every night. You would think after so many days, the memories would fade, but I still see Prim's death as clearly as if it only happened the moment before. The last seconds of Finnick's life as he battled with the mutts. The moment when my family and I heard about my father's death in the mines. I would never talk about them to Dr. Aurelius, no matter how much he urges me to. They, just like Peeta, just seem so personal. Not something you would want to share with a stranger.

I would wake up screaming, afraid to go back to sleep. There was once a time where I could ask Peeta to hold me in my sleep and keep the nightmares away, without hesitation. No matter how much I could rely on Peeta these days, I could never ask him to do that for me anymore. I was afraid if I did, he would think that I was expecting more from him and it would push him away. I wasn't expecting more. I was content with what we had, for now. There is no way I could think of us being anything more until we are both whole once more. I was afraid of losing him again. Maybe I was more afraid of that than anything else at the moment.

I continued to talk to Dr. Aurelius. Sometimes he would ask me about my days, some days we would talk about nothing in particular, and others we wouldn't say anything at all. I tried to fix my sleeping pattern like he asked me too. He also asked me to do other things, like start to cook for myself and count to ten whenever I feel alone or trapped. I did them, not really understanding what the point was. They didn't do anything for me. My cooking was much worse than Greasy Sae's. Most of the time I won't even eat it, and I still feel alone and trapped after I count to ten. It wasn't until much later when one of the things he asked me to do had a meaning.

I had been silent for a long time. Dr. Aurelius didn't seem to have any more questions for me. We had already talked about some of the new faces in the District and the rest of my day. I was just about to say goodbye and hang up when he started to talk again.

"Katniss, I want you to do something else for me," Dr. Aurelius said.

This statement slightly annoyed me. He said it every time he would give me something else to do. The same sentence every time. I didn't mind adding something else to the ever-growing list of things he asks me to do. What annoyed me was how he said it. I wasn't doing it for him, and we both knew that. Yet, he still says it as if it is a favor for him.

I bit back my sarcastic retort and instead said, "You do?"

"Yes," he continued. "I want you to write all the good you see every day and all the bad you see every day into two columns in a journal. Date the days so you know when they occur."

This was odd. Usually he would tell me to do things that somewhat were supposed to better my way of living. Help me start being self-sufficient. I didn't deny his request, though. I did exactly as he said, like always, a little bit more curious this time to see how this would play out.

I found a notebook, long forgotten in a draw in the living room, and dated the first page. I then wrote "Good" on one side and "Bad" on the other and drew a line splitting the page in half. I wrote carefully, trying my best not to mess anything up. For some reason, I was actually putting more of an effort into this.

This was about when Peeta walked in. We were going to see Haymitch today. "Katniss?" he shouted from the front door.

"I'm in the living room," I shouted back.

I heard his footsteps getting closer as he said, "Why are you in here?" He came up behind me and looked over my shoulder. "Just something the doctor wanted me to do," I replied closing the book. "Are you ready?" He nodded and we left.

When we reached Haymitch's, we opened the door to see Haymitch complete knocked out, a half full bottle in his hand. Once the people started to come, they would bring liquor on the trains or hovercrafts. Haymitch would always raid them, so we weren't surprised at the sight. It smelled awful as usual, but both Peeta and I seemed to have gotten used to the smell, just like Haymitch.

Both of us went to our unofficial jobs of taking care of Haymitch. Peeta wakes him up, while I make him a strong cup of coffee. Finally when Haymitch has sat and taken a couple of sips of his coffee, the three of us start to talk. It is like this every time we come over. Another routine that I have gotten used to. Something that makes sense.

"Haymitch, you need a hobby," Peeta stated.

"I have a hobby," Haymitch griped back.

I snorted and said, "I don't think drinking you weight in liquor counts."

"I don't see you having any sort of hobby," he snapped back.

"Seriously Haymitch," Peeta said, cutting off my reply before the conversation could escalate into something, "this can't be healthy."

"I have been doing this for years, and I'm still alright," he replied a bit defensively.

"Well, than what are going to do when the liquor runs out again?" Peeta then asked.

"I'll care for the freaking geese," Haymitch said sarcastically. I had to hold back a laugh. "Hey, why are you bugging me about this away? I don't need my life criticized by some eighteen-year-old boy."

The three of us silently stared at each other. Then, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I busted out laughing. The other two stared at me for another couple of seconds before Haymitch joined in the laughter, Peeta soon following. When we finally calmed down I said, "Haymitch taking care of geese." Then we all started hysterically laughing once again. (A/N: Ok, I just want to say, that this was practically my exact reaction when I read about Haymitch and the geese in the book. I just had to add that in the story:)

I looked at the three of us sitting at this table. This was my family, and I was so happy to be with them. I grasped the locket that has taken a permanent residence around my neck. I still haven't had the heart to tear Gale from it, even though I didn't want him in my life anymore. I knew what I was going to do. I left Peeta and Haymitch and walked back to my house. I searched the drawers of my room and found what I was looking for. It was a picture Prim took a long time ago.

It was of me, Peeta, and Haymitch during dinner at the end of the Victory Tour. I didn't look very happy, even though I was smiling. I was worried. I had just heard about the uprising in District 8. I found the scissors that I cut my hair with and started to cut the picture, until you could only see Haymitch and Peeta. I then unclasped my locket, took the picture of Gale out, left it on my dresser, and carefully put the picture of Haymitch and Peeta in its place. I smiled at the two pictures. These people, looking up at me from the locket, were my family. They will always stay close to my heart.

I had a great time writing this chapter, even though it took forever. I guess you could say I had a bit of writer's block. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with the next few chapters, but now I think I know what I want to do. I don't want to give away too many hints, but I am going to focus on Katniss and Peeta for a little bit.

Anyways, tell me how you liked it:)