9

The second I woke up the next day, I found myself still in Peeta's room. I felt fully rested, which I haven't been in a really long time. I felt a depression come over me once I remembered my decision to leave. It was going to take a lot of work. Everybody was not going to be happy when they found out I left, but they will deal with it. It wasn't like I was going to kill anybody else. I was actually please with the way Panem was going. I decided that I was going to find my mother in District 4. I had barely talked to her since I called her so many months ago. She told me a bit about Annie. The baby should be coming any minute now, if it hasn't been born already. First, I needed to talk to Haymitch today about getting there.

I walked downstairs and saw that Peeta had already made breakfast. He was sitting eating. I grabbed a plate. We ate in silence, neither of us wanting to talk about last night. Once both of us we finished, I grabbed both our plates and started washing them in the sink. "I think I am going to head home and clean up," I said to Peeta, lying through my teeth. I hated lying to him. Didn't Haymitch and I say promise weren't going to lie to him anymore? I already broke that promise, and if things go the way I plan them to, Haymitch was going to break it to. I knew though that he would come with me if I told him I was going to Haymitch's, and I needed to talk to Haymitch alone.

"Ok, how about I clean up here and meet you there in about an hour and a half?" Peeta replied.

"Perfect," I said, as I walked towards the door. That will give me plenty of time to talk to Haymitch and get a shower.

I left and quickly arrived at Haymitch's. His house was actually clean, but that may be due to the fact the Peeta finally hired someone to clean his house for him. It was a widow I recognized from District 13. She wasn't in the house at the moment, as far as I could tell. That was good, considering I didn't want anybody but Haymitch to hear my plan. I didn't want word of my departure getting around. It seemed like gossip spread like wildfire through the District. I found out things about people who I don't even know these days.

I found him drunk again, sleeping in a sitting position with his head resting against the kitchen table. I didn't realize that there was another shipment of liquor any time recently. I first pried the knife he still slept with out of his hands with some difficulty. He moaned for a second, turned over, and kept on sleeping. I knew he would start swinging the knife when I woke him up, and I didn't want to be stabbed today. I then grabbed a bucket of water and dumped it all over him. I smiled at my handy work, thinking about the time he did the same to me.

Haymitch jumped out of the chair, flailing his arms. He didn't realize that he didn't have the knife in his hands until he realized it was me who woke him up. "Oh, what a lovely surprise," he said sarcastically, as he sat back down in his chair. "To what do I owe the pleasure to of seeing you this fine morning, Sweetheart?"

"Do you even know my real name?" I asked him.

He just smirked and replied, "To what do I owe the pleasure to of seeing you this fine morning, Katniss."

I sighed and said with as much sarcasm as I could muster, "Aren't I allowed to visit you without a purpose?"

"Yes," Haymitch replied quickly, "but when have you ever visited me without needing something?"

I started to reply, but he quickly cut me off by saying, "Without Peeta?"

I opened my mouth, thought about it, and quickly closed it, defeated. Haymitch's smirk quickly grew into a grin, "So what do you want? Isn't life all what you wanted it to be?"

I glared at him. "I want to run," I said frankly, deciding there was no point in postponing my question and longer.

This seemed to sober him up a bit. The smirk left his face. I sat down waiting for his reply. We stared at each other for what seemed like ages, neither of us saying anything, neither of us moving. I waited patiently for his reply. I was just about to tell him to forget it when he opened his mouth. He said, "Like by yourself?"

I nodded slowly. He closed his eyes, and put his fingers to his temples and started to massage them, attempting to get rid of the headache I assumed he had. He didn't open his eyes for a long time, not even after he spoke to me again. "Is this what you really want, Katniss?" He didn't ask why I wanted to leave, or if I really thought this through. There was no sarcasm in his voice as he said my name. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I need to go. There is nothing left for me here. I want to go see my mother," I said.

He replied by saying, "Well, at least you aren't planning to do anything dangerous? When do you want to go?"

I sighed a breath of relief. At least he wasn't shooting down my idea. "Well, as soon as possible."

"How do you think you are getting out of here?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "That's why I wanted your help."

"Ok, I am going to tell you this once and once only. People are not going to be happy about you leaving town, and that means I am going to get in a lot of trouble when they find out I helped you. That means I am not going to be happy. So you better be sure about this."

I thought it over for a second. I wanted to leave. Everything made me think about the dead here. I mean it was hard enough walking through my own house, with all the signs of Prim. My mother had the right idea. The only thing that would keep me here would probably be Peeta, but I needed to let him go too. He needed to live his own life, without me ruining it for him. So, yes I was sure about this. At least, as sure as I will ever be. So I nodded, replying to Haymitch's question.

"Ok, then I will have to make some calls. If they know that you want to go live with your mother, I think people will be willing to let you leave. It's not like you are dangerous anymore. Not that you ever were in the first place, but they believe what they wanted to believe," he said.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" I asked, skeptical about this idea.

"A better idea than trying to sneak out of the District, where they will easily find out, get angry, and drag you back here while you resist to your fullest extent, possibly get killed from your stupidness? Yeah, I do think it is a better idea."

I just crossed my arms over my chest and said, "What if they don't let me out?"

Haymitch glared at me and said with as much ice as he could muster, "Then to hell with letting you leave, because I have been trying to keep you alive for way damn too long now, and I am not letting you die over something as stupid as you wanting to see your mommy."

I looked away from him. If they denied the request, I thought to myself, looks like I am going to be all on my own. I was not going to let the Capitol stop me from getting what I want, even though it wasn't run by some psycho anymore. I was getting out of the District with or without Haymitch. It would just be a lot easier if it was with rather than without. As Haymitch said, people were not going to be happy about me leaving, and it would be better if I had Haymitch on my side. We both know that he has a lot of power over the government, even though he doesn't want to use it or even admit it.

"So, have you told Peeta about this yet?" Haymitch then asked.

I looked up at him and replied, "No, and I don't plan to. He doesn't need to know."

Haymitch widened his eyes, and his mouth opened in shock. "He doesn't need to know? You used to use your brain a lot more when I met you. Of course he needs to know, how do you think he will react when he finds out that you are gone, out of his life forever?"

"I don't know. I guess he will be upset for a while, but he will get over it. He will move on. He needs a chance at having his own life."

"Katniss, it will break him. Even if you do tell him, he is still going to be pretty upset over the fact that you are gone. You have to give him the choice of going too, or at the very least tell him you are going!"

I was shocked. Haymitch must not know us as well as I always thought he did. Peeta would not be anywhere near that distraught over me leaving. "Haymitch, I am not going to tell him and neither are you. It won't be fair. I have messed with Peeta too much for it to be right. The best thing for him now would be if I just disappeared."

"Katniss, I really hope you know what you are doing. Peeta is a good kid, a great kid actually, though he got sidetracked a little bit there with the hijacking and all, he is still in love with you. I don't think anything on this Earth will keep him from loving you forever. You will be hurting him more than you can imagine by leaving him here without a goodbye. It will break him."

Haymitch's words pierced straight through me. Peeta in love with me? It wasn't true. I refused to get my hopes up, just for them to be shot down. There is no way he could be in love with me. He was going to be ok here in District 12. I was doing the right thing.

"Haymitch, I need to go. I can't be here anymore. I am suffocating here! Everything, all the pain and sadness, is choking me. I only brought suffering to this District. I cannot survive. I can't tell Peeta either," I whispered, pleading with Haymitch. And I can't see him every day, knowing he will never love me the way I love him again, I added in my head. The thought hit me hard. I realized that was the main reason for me running away. Though, I tried to make other excuses, the real reason was that I couldn't bear to lose Peeta, so if I leave him, there is no way I can lose him. I won't watch him fall in love with another girl and have a family that I am not included in. I was running away from my problems, but that was better than the other option.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds before saying, "Fine. I see what I can do. Just think about telling Peeta before you go, ok?"

I said that I would, with no intention of ever following through with the promise.

Yay! I got the next chapter up! I told you I would:)

So, I bet you have tons of questions. Does Katniss tell Peeta that she is leaving? (She is Katniss. Is she ever cooperative?) Will Katniss be happy about leaving? (Hmmmm?) How is Katniss going to be around Peeta for the next couple of days? (Hehehe...) What is Peeta going to do when he finds out? (That reaction could actually be quite funny...) Is Haymitch right about Peeta being in love with Katniss? (This one is a bit self-explanatory.)

Don't you just love cliffies? ;) I'll try not to keep you guys hanging for too long. Hopefully the next chapter will be up either tomorrow or the next day. Until then, tell me what you think!