Gamer4 in. It just occurred to me that due to this story's publishing date, it's quite possible several potential readers mistook this for an April Fool's joke. I'd like to clarify that it is not- I just have really crappy timing. Please forgive me as we progress into the next episode.
Episode II
Stranger in a Strange Land
"So... giant robots!" Ruby grinned. "That's cool, right?"
"Yes, but there's clearly more to it," Weiss pointed out. "Just look at those songs the world started with!"
"'Have you heard the news that you're dead?'" Jaune recalled, shivering as he recalled the expression of abject fury on the other Weiss's face. "'People never had much nice to say- I think they never liked you anyways.'"
"...Quite," Weiss nodded- she had plenty of her own reasons for being uncomfortable with her other's song, not least of which one line in particular that she was quietly glad the others seemed to have missed.
"And Jaune's dad is such a jeeeerrrrrrk!" Nora wailed. "Jauney, promise me your real dad isn't like that!"
"He's not, he's not!" Jaune assured her, raising his hands placatingly. "I mean, I told you he didn't really trust me to come to Beacon, but that's about it!"
"It seems simple, but there's certainly an underlying darkness to this world," Ren mused. "You saw the sunken city the angel was swimming through. It didn't cause that particular destruction."
"You think it was the other angel?" Blake suggested.
"Or angels," Pyrrha volunteered. "There's no guarantee there was only one before."
"Two."
Everyone jumped- Vanessa and Jack were back, the latter grinning as he presented a tray of food that made the hungrier members' mouths water.
"What do you mean, two?" Yang asked as she returned to her seat.
"There have been two angels prior to the one Jaune is now fighting," Vanessa explained. "Technically speaking, that makes it the third."
"Ready to continue?" Jack asked, somewhat nervously, the more pessimistic viewers couldn't help thinking.
"Yeah!" Nora whooped. "Finally time to see Fearless Leader kick some butt in his robot!"
"Well, you'll definitely be getting some of that," Vanessa sighed. "Roll tape!"
The world picked up immediately where it had previously left off, as the angel and Unit 01 stared each other down from opposite ends of a city block. Within Unit 01, Jaune was biting his lip, the strange clips in his hair connecting him to the craft he'd been charged with piloting.
"Are you ready, Jaune?" Yang asked.
"I... yes, ma'am."
"Release final safety locks!" Yang ordered. "Evangelion Unit 01, lift off!"
The final clamps released, and Unit 01 was free to move.
"Here... we... go!" Nora beamed.
Unit 01 lumbered off of its elevator, then ceased all movement.
Blake's voice came through a speaker. "Let's take this slowly, Jaune- for now, focus on walking."
Jaune hesitantly adjusted the controls in front of him, and slowly, Unit 01 took a single mighty step, the shockwave enough to shatter the glass windows nearby.
"So, this is what's necessary to defend this world..." Pyrrha was struggling not to nibble on her fingernails, an awful habit she was happy to have kicked, and had no desire to return to now.
"It's moving!" Blake found herself smiling in spite of herself.
"Baby steps..." Jaune was muttering to himself, eyes fixed on the angel ahead of him, waiting with baited breath for the moment it chose to strike.
He took another step, fumbled, and the unit fell down on its face.
Yang burst out laughing. "Way to go, fearless pilot!"
"Yang, the angel's right there!" Ruby rebuked her. "He's in danger!"
Yang's grin disappeared immediately.
"Jaune, Jaune, pull it together!" came Yang's voice. Jaune looked up, and his eyes seemed to whiten as he saw the angel had finally continued its walk, and was now standing menacingly over him.
"Jaune, get up, you need to get up!"
And he did- as the angel grabbed the unit by the head and lifted it in the air. With its other hand, it grabbed Unit 01's arm in a vice grip that would have broken bone, were there any bones to break.
In the entry plug, Jaune fought down a scream, grabbing onto his own arm in the same place his Eva was suffering.
"Stay calm, Jaune!" Blake called. "Your arm is fine- it's just sympathetic pain from the Eva- an unfortunate side effect of the synchronization process!"
"Wait... if the robot gets hurt, Jaune does too?!" Pyrrha gasped.
"What a lovely thing to mention after he already climbed in!" Weiss snarled.
The angel began pulling on the arm, as if attempting to remove it entirely.
"Crap- if it actually removes the arm, would Jaune...?" Yang couldn't bring herself to finish the question.
"No," Vanessa shook her head. "At his current synch rate, he'd keep his arm- but he'd still feel it being torn off."
"Lovely..." Jaune choked out.
"Where are the defensive systems?!" Blake demanded of Ilia.
"No idea- it's not even generating its AT Field!" Ilia reported.
With a great CRACK!, Unit 01's arm did break- Jaune's mouth opened in a silent scream at the agony coursing through his own limb.
"And no aura to heal it..." Ruby realized with a jolt of horror.
"Break loose, Jaune!"
Nobody could tell which Yang had said it first, they were so nearly in unison, as the angel's elbow spike once again became a lance that fired out of its palm and into Unit 01's skull- once, twice, thrice, and a fourth time for good measure. Jaune broke his silence and wailed as he grabbed his own eye.
"Fracture in the frontal cranium!" Ilia yelped.
Blake's legs weakened as she watched a fifth blow land. "The armor won't hold much longer..."
Six, seven- the seventh blow sent Unit 01 across the city, smashing into a skyscraper, where it seemed to fall prone, that strange red liquid jetting out of both ends of the new gap the angel had forced into it.
"Skull damage! Severity unknown!" cried another technician at Ilia's side- a tall, slim man with red hair falling over one eye.
"We're getting booted out of the system!" Ilia's fingers whitened on her keyboard.
"We can't monitor the pilot's condition!" declared another red-head exclaimed from nearby.
"JAUNE!" Yang cried,
And Jaune's eyes opened to a sea of white.
"Whoa, what the-" most of the audience responded with roughly the same confusion.
It took almost a full minute for Jaune's senses to catch up with him. White... everything was white. Silent... everything was silent. He was... lying down. On something soft. A bed.
The scape in front of him wasn't pure white- he could see a single flourescent light behind a panel. He was staring at a ceiling.
"An unfamiliar ceiling..." he found himself whispering aloud.
"Oh, Jaune..." Pyrrha whispered.
"Wait, wait, what happened?!" Nora raised her hands. "What's going on? One minute, he's getting demolished by that angel, the next, he's-"
"In the hospital," Ren interjected. "Which is to say, he's still alive, and there's still an organization to take care of him, indicating that, somehow or other... he won."
"But... we don't get to see it?" Ruby pouted.
"At a guess, what we just saw is all that he remembers," Blake speculated. "We're following his perception, so the last thing he remembers is the last thing we see."
"But if he doesn't remember the rest of the fight..." Yang pondered, "how did he win it?"
A helicopter flew over the crater that had once been downtown Vytal-3, which was currently barred off from the general public as several workers moved in, a crane picking up the fallen helmet of Unit 01.
"Geez, did it rip my head off?" Jaune winced, feeling at his neck. "I know Vanessa said I could survive, but..."
"I guess that would explain why you don't remember the rest of the fight," Weiss suggested. "...On top of myriad other reasons."
They were next presented with a dark room, which at first blush, contained only two people, sitting on opposite ends of a vast table, over a dozen meters in length. The first was Nicholas Arc- the second was a tall woman with skin far too white to be normal- she looked more like a corpse, an analogy only furthered by the cracks of blackness that ran up and down her arms. Her hair was somehow even whiter, done up in elegant braids. She wore a black dress, but they couldn't see her eyes, as they were concealed behind a visor. Nevertheless, there was no question of who she was.
"Salem," Jaune forced out. "My father... is talking to Salem."
Nobody seemed to know what else to say until Nora interjected helpfully with, "And who are the others?"
"Others?"
The audience took the scene in again and noticed a large circle around the table- not of people, but of hovering monoliths.
"Holograms," Vanessa explained. "Salem's one, too, but the rest of them are on sound only mode."
Indeed they were- each monolith bore an inscription. The one immediately to Salem's left read:
SEELE
02
N. O.
SOUND ONLY
The numbers rose as they continued clockwise around the table, and each monolith bore different letters: A. W. L., M. R., C. S., J. M., S. M., A. Z., D. C. D., D. M., G. H., and J. H.
"Presumably, Salem is 1?" Weiss supposed.
"You suppose correctly," Vanessa nodded.
"So, the angels have returned," Salem spoke first.
"This is far too sudden!" S. M. complained.
"Just like fifteen years ago!" M. R. agreed in a surprisingly feminine voice.
"Seldom does calamity warn before striking," N. O. pointed out.
"Indeed." G. H. took N. O.'s side. "If anything, it simply means all of our work has meant something."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," J. M. objected- another woman, by the sounds of things. "Until our efforts bear fruit, nothing is certain."
"Quite right," came D. C. D.'s gruff voice. "Information regarding the angels is already spreading beyond our reach."
"Mix some lies in with the truth, until they can no longer be separated," a third woman spoke in the form of A. Z.
"And then, NERV's work must be carried out with all due haste!" J. H. put in.
"I assure you, everything on our end is being carried out properly," Nicholas Arc promised.
"Secret Illuminati orginazation," Weiss threw her hands in the air. "Of course there's a secret Illuminati organization!"
"Led by Salem," Blake pointed out.
"And... my dad's part of it?" Jaune clenched his fists.
"Not so much 'part of it' as 'employed by them,'" Vanessa tilted her hand in the air.
"But he's the leader of NERV!" Pyrrha sat bolt upright. "If he's working for Salem, then-"
She trailed off, but she'd gotten her point across. Many nervous glances were shared.
Inside the tent at ground zero of the battle between the angel and Unit 01, Yang was flicking through the channels on a small television, but they were all showing the same boring speech from the kingdom's prime minister.
"Scenario B-22, straight out of the Bullshit Handbook," she groaned, picking up a nearby fan and vainly waving it in her own face. "Bury the facts at all costs."
"People are dumb, panicky animals," Blake commented drily. "You ought to know that better than anyone."
"Again, I should know that better than anyone... why?" Yang crossed her arms.
"Seems like your other has been through quite a bit," Pyrrha suggested.
"Besides," Blake continued, "it's finally a chance for Public Relations to flex those atrophying muscles of theirs."
"Hmm..." Yang groaned as she turned the television off altogether. "Maybe we should be panicking."
Abruptly, they were back in the room with Salem's council.
"I'll be frank with you, Arc," C. S. began, "we're starting to doubt your ability to oversee the Evas."
"Yes, indeed," agreed S. M. "First, Unit 00 collapses with that poor girl inside-" He made an unconvincing attempt at sounding sympathetic.
"That's my sister, you asshole," Yang cracked her knuckles.
"-and now Unit 01 needs extensive repairs after a single battle. Need we remind you that maintaining these units costs almost as much as governing a small country?"
"You need not," Nicholas promised, his face once again concealed behind his steepled fingers.
"Are you quite certain?" J. M. butted in. "Rumor has it, you gave your newest toy to your own son."
"Oh, believe us, there was no nepotism at play there," Pyrrha snarled, clenching and unclenching her fist.
"Time. Money. Manpower," growled D. C. D. "The Arcs seem a black hole for resources. And lest you forget, that is not your only role in the Human Instrumentality Project."
"Human whatamality what now?" Nora tilted her head, confused.
"Something they want, so we shouldn't," Weiss guessed.
"Of course, I am well aware that the elimination of the angels is only a single portion of our covenant with Lilith," Nicholas agreed. "I promise you, everything I do, I do for our scenario."
"Stop throwing new words at us like thaaaaaaaat!" Nora groaned. "Who's Lilith, now?"
"Not a who, but a what," Blake speculated. "Covenant... it sounds more like the name of a deity of some sort than a person."
Finally, Salem spoke again, her voice the cold wind of a thousand winters. "See that it is so. Instrumentality is humanity's only light in this vast darkness. There can be no delays- not for the angels, and most certainly not for you."
Nicholas allowed a few seconds of silence. "So, are you denying our budget request?"
Salem remained motionless- if they could see her eyes behind her visor, they suspected she'd be narrowing them at the only other person she could see. "...We shall consider it. You are dismissed."
The monoliths all disappeared, leaving Nicholas and Salem alone at opposite ends of their vast table. "I should scarcely have to say this," Salem spoke one last time, "but there is no longer any turning back. We have crossed the Rubicon- the die has been cast."
"I am well aware," Nicholas promised.
Salem seemed to be scanning him one last time before she, too, vanished, leaving Nicholas alone.
"Humanity is running short on time."
"Wait, now it sounds like they're trying to save the world?" Nora tilted her head, confused. "I mean, they are fighting the angels, too, which are basically the grimm in this world, so..."
"But Jaune's dad said that it was just part of that deal they have with Lily, or whatever!" Ruby put in. "So, even if it's good to kill the angels, it's somehow bad, too...?"
"I don't think there's any way of truly understanding them with the information we have now," Ren shook his head.
"Yeah, I just wanna see how Jaune's doing," Pyrrha agreed.
"Oh, crap, that's right! Jaune-Jaune's in the hospital!" Nora panicked.
He had, at the very least, gotten out of his bed. He was standing in the hallway in his hospital garb, gazing out of the window. After a full minute of simply staring out at the sunlight, he was distracted by the opening and closing of a door. He turned and saw a nurse pushing a gurney by- upon the gurney was the girl from before, Ruby. His eyes widened as she passed- she was exactly the same as before, except her skin-tight suit had been replaced with hospital garments similar to his own. The bandages and makeshift patch were all still in place, but she no longer seemed to be in pain- she remained silent and neutral-faced as she was pushed by. He'd almost have thought she was ignoring him altogether, except that her single silver eye turned to gaze at him, oh-so-briefly. He found himself opening his mouth to say something, but was ultimately unable to speak before she was gone.
"That's an odd thing, too," Blake observed. "Ruby... there's something off about her. Aside from when Jaune caught her last time, she hasn't really reacted to... anything. At all. She's so..."
"Quiet," Weiss finally filled in. "Disturbingly quiet."
"For some reason, only Yang seems to be really acting much like our Yang," Jaune agreed.
As if to drive the point home, the next scene was Blake and Yang in the front seats of a truck, where Yang had removed all clothing except for a tank top, wearing a goofy grin as she leaned back in her seat. "Ahhhh, yeah... AC, humanity's greatest invention! The finest example of man's triumph over nature!"
Blake had been ignoring her on a scroll- she put it away and turned to her travelling companion. "Jaune's awake."
Yang's grin disappeared, replaced with a clear look of concern. "How is he?"
"He's recovered from any injuries he sustained, but his head still sounds foggy- he can't remember anything after Sachiel picked him up."
"Sachy-what now?" Ruby tilted her head.
"The angel's codename," Vanessa explained wearily.
"Any..." Yang asked slowly. "Any... psychological damage?"
"No risk of that," Blake assured her.
"Not beyond what we inflicted on him, throwing him into the deep end like that," Yang grimaced, leaning back in her seat again.
"See? I like Yang- she's the only one who seems to feel sorry for Fearless Leader!" Nora waved her hand.
"I mean... Blake kinda didn't seem too happy about it," Jaune said fairly.
"Yeah, but she got over it pretty darn quick!"
Jaune was sitting it what appeared to be the hospital's lobby, once again in his jeans and hoodie. He pulled back the sleeve on his left arm and gazed at it, vaguely recalling the sensation of his arm in that angel's vicegrip, until it broke.
Except it hadn't. It was the Eva's arm that had broken, not his.
But that still hadn't stopped the pain.
"Oh, Jaune..." Pyrrha whispered sadly again.
"I'm right here, Pyrrha," Jaune smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm fine."
The sun continued its arc through the sky as the recovery crews collected all the remnants of the battle- the rifle the Eva had dropped, itself the size of a building- the cable that supplied the Eva its power, the shape of a gas pump but scaled to the size of an aircraft.
"Still, though," Yang continued her ruminations, "the Evas are our best shot at surviving this thing."
"Optimistic as ever," Blake rolled her eyes as she flicked through pages of reports.
"As a very wise man once said, Blakey, 'If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.'"
"I suppose there's an element of truth in that," Blake conceded.
"An 'element' of truth? Are you calling me a liar?"
"No, I called you an optimist- though I suppose they are the same thing, in a way."
Yang laughed. "Little ray of sunshine as ever, Kit-Kat."
"Good ol' Blake 'Glass-Half-Empty' Belladonna!" Yang grinned, thumping a hissing catgirl on the back.
Jaune had been sitting in the hospital's lobby for a full forty-five minutes before Yang appeared. "Hey, there!" she greeted jovially. "C'mon, we gotta get your living situation sorted out!"
Jaune did not speak as he rose from his seat and followed her.
It turned out they weren't in Vytal-3's main hospital, as he'd thought, but an on-site hospital within NERV's headquarters. Yang led him to the nearest elevator, and his heart stopped when the door's slid open to reveal his father standing behind them.
For a full minute, the three stood in silent- Yang and Jaune on one side of the threshold, Nicholas on the other, glaring sternly through his dark glasses at his son and captain.
Jaune was the first to break, redirecting his gaze towards his sneakers.
At long last, the doors slid shut again and the lift continued downwards.
Yang's brow furrowed.
Everyone turned to see Nora and Yang scribbling away in a little black book. "What are you two doing?" Ren asked cautiously.
"Writing down all the things we'll do to that world's Jaune-Jaune's dad if we somehow end up there," Nora explained offhandedly.
"Hey, cut us some slack!" Yang furrowed her own brow at the looks they were getting. "Look at all the crap that's happened already, would it really be too strange?"
Ren stood up and took a look into the black book. He coughed, produced a pen, scribbled something down, and returned silently to his seat. The others couldn't see what he'd written, but the wide grin that spread over Nora's face could mean nothing but danger.
They continued on their way until they met Peter Port, Nicholas's right hand man, who did not sound at all surprised when Yang relayed what had happened.
"I can't say I'm surprised, I'm afraid," he admitted, stroking his moustache. "For those two, living separately is normal."
Jaune nodded wordlessly, eyes still on his laces.
"So Jaune's not staying with his father?" Yang asked, bewildered.
"No, I believe he's been assigned a room in Block 6," Port reported.
"You mean... he'll be living on his own?" Yang's eyes widened in unadulterated shock.
"I... don't mind," Jaune finally spoke up, flashing a small smile her way. "I actually kinda prefer it."
"I can't wrap my head around it," Nora shook her head. "Fearless Leader wasn't the most social person, but dammit, he tried to make friends!"
"Something must have happened to him to put him off the whole idea," Blake guessed. She didn't admit it, but her heart was aching- she knew all too well the feeling of wanting to just separate from everybody else, but it caused her pain to see one of her friends experiencing the same.
Yang's brow knitted on her forehead,
and the screen cut to Blake on her scroll. "Excuse me? Would you like to repeat that? I think I misheard you."
On the other end, Yang was walking down a hall, Jaune silent at her heels. "Open your ears, Kit-Kat, you've got four of 'em! I said Jaune's gonna be living with me!"
"NOW we're talkin'!" Yang grinned. "Big sis Yang to the rescue!"
"Oh, boy, here we go," Ruby rolled her eyes, though unable to hide a small smile that things were finally starting to look up a bit for her friend's other.
"Try not to worry about it, I already got permission from all the higher-ups! What, are you worried I'm gonna put the moves on him?"
"YOU'D DAMN WELL BETTER NOT! I WILL GET THE NUMBER TO CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ON SPEED-DIAL IF I HAVE TO!"
Everyone crossed their arms and glared at Yang. She laughed nervously and tugged at her collar. "What?"
Yang quickly removed the scroll from her ear to avoid Blake's tirade. "Some people have no sense of humor..."
"Do we need to call the police, Yang?" Pyrrha crossed her arms.
"I'd... rather not... go to prison... again..."
Yang's car had yet to receive any more repairs as she drove it out of NERV headquarters, throwing the occasional glance at Jaune, who had yet to say anything since his unofficial adoption. Yang grinned. "Well, we'll have to celebrate in style tonight!"
"Celebrating what?" Jaune finally asked quietly.
"My new roomie, of course!" Yang beamed.
Yang seemed to have a bizarre definition of 'party,' Jaune couldn't help thinking, as they stopped at a convenience store for their supplies- mostly including canned food, instant food, and several cases of beer.
Jaune's red flag sensors were starting to tingle.
"Oh, dear..." Blake pinched the bridge of her nose. "This does not bode well."
"Are you implying I don't know how to cook?" Yang growled.
Ruby sighed. "Yang, you tried an ice-cream-maker and burned the house down."
Still, Jaune said nothing- he was too caught up in the scant few other shoppers- despite being what was peak rush hour back in Ansel, things were quiet enough in the store for him to hear exactly what they were saying. "You're moving, then?"
"We can't afford to stay in this battlefield of a city."
"Yeah, who can? Even my husband wants to take our children and run."
"I can't blame him- they call this a fortress city, but that didn't seem to help at all..."
Yang didn't say anything, but seemed to take notice of his solemn expression.
"It's not like it's your fault, Jaune..." Pyrrha pointed out.
"Yeah, hard telling what he- er, I'm- er, he's thinking right now," Jaune admitted.
Back into the car they went, and Yang took them on a road outside the city. Jaune took notice and spoke again. "Yang... are you sure this is the right way?"
"We're taking a quick detour- hope you don't mind," Yang smiled.
"Where to?" Jaune asked.
"A special little spot of mine," Yang winked.
"I really do have child protective services on speed dial," Blake glared.
"Too bad they're in the wrong world," Yang fired back.
They finally stopped at an observation deck, halfway up a large hill on the outskirts of Vytal-3. From their position, the city seemed strangely flat, mostly a series of metal squares set into the ground.
"What happened to the city?" Ruby squeaked.
"It's underground, remember?" Ren reminded them. "They sunk into the Geofront to avoid the angel, which means..."
Ruby's eyes sparkled as she realized what he was saying. "Ohhh, this is gonna be cool!"
Jaune didn't seem to have caught on yet. "It's so... desolate."
Yang smirked as she glanced at a watch on her wrist. "Not for long," she smirked.
Just as she finished speaking, a siren rang out over the city, and before Jaune's wondering eyes, the various squares openeed, and from them, the buildings of Vytal-3 began to rise, sprouting from the ground like great metal trees, rising from the area beneath to once again challenge the skies.
Yang smiled over at her charge. "The fortress city built to withstand even the angels- Vytal-3. Our city. The city you saved."
"The... city I..." Even Jaune couldn't fight the small smile on his face, which only made Yang's wider.
"I'm so glad you're there for Fearless Leader, Yaaaaaaang!" Nora sobbed, honking on a handkerchief. "Who knows where he'd be in this dark, cold world without yooooouuuuuu?!"
"Always... glad to... be of asisstance..." Yang choked out as Nora finished with the handkerchief and tackled her in a bear hug. "Guys... help..."
"And miss the opportunity to see you get a taste of your own medicine? No, ma'am," Weiss crossed her arms coldly.
In another swift cut, Yang was leading Jaune through the upper levels of a large apartment complex. Yang smiled when she spied a large pile of boxes next to apartment 708, at the end of the hallway from the elevator. "Looks like your stuff beat us here!" she pointed out chirpily. "Shouldn't be too tricky for you to move in- I only just moved in myself!"
She slid a card through a reader next to the door, and it slid open- she was halfway to the kitchen before it registered that Jaune hadn't followed. She turned to see him still standing outside the door, their groceries in his arms. "You comin' in?"
Jaune nodded. "Sorry, it's just... thanks for having me."
Yang sighed. "None of that, now! This is your home as much as mine, Jaune."
Jaune slowly stepped over the threshold, and met her gaze. "Er... I'm... I'm home?"
"Welcome home!" Yang grinned.
"He's having trouble actually thinking of it as a home," Ren observed.
"I mean, he did just get there," Nora pointed out.
"Yeah, but... the way he's been so far... I wonder if he's ever actually felt at home... anywhere," Jaune pondered.
"You know... I don't think he has," Blake threw in her two lien.
Yang turned around and guided him towards the living room. "Oh- it's a little messy in here- try not to worry 'bout it, alright?"
Jaune turned a corner, and found a chamber buried in garbage- empty beer cans and instant meals forming the vanguard of the trash menace, backed up misplaced bottles of sauce or spices, dirty dishes, and bags of takeout. His eyes widened, and his heart rate increased. "This... a little messy?!"
"Uh-oh, Jaune-Jaune's inner neat freak is coming out," Nora rolled her eyes.
"Neat freak? Jaune?" Weiss scoffed.
"Oh, yes," Ren agreed. "He's been waging war in favor of our dorm's cleanliness since day one. Nora, of course, is a formidable opponent."
"Don't remind me," Jaune shuddered.
Yang called out from the restroom, where she was preparing a shower. "Oh, Jaune- you mind loading the groceries into the fridge? Thanks!"
Jaune shuddered as he approached the fridge. He opened it quickly, as if ripping off a band-aid, to discover everything he'd dreaded. "Ice... more instant meals... an entire shelf of beer?! What kind of life does she lead?!"
"The dream, is what I call that!" Yang grinned.
"If your dream includes dying in your mid-thirties, then yes, I suppose that's exactly what you'd call it," Weiss grimaced in disgust.
Jaune quickly loaded everything up, doing his best not to look at the desolation, when he noticed a second refrigerator at the other end of the room, with only a single door on the bottom corner. "Eh?" He raised his voice slightly. "What's with the other fridge?"
"Oh, don't mind that, he's probably still asleep!"
Jaune blinked. "A... asleep?"
"Asleep?" Ruby squeaked. "Oh, no, it's her fourth-grade science project all over again!" she raised her hood and pulled it forcefully down over her face, refusing point-blank to come back out.
About ten minutes later, the microwave had prepared their instant meals for the night, and Jaune finished setting the table. "Alright, in the words of our forefathers: CHOW DOWN!" Yang boomed.
"Yeah... thanks for the-" Jaune started to say, but he was distracted as Yang downed an entire beer can in a matter of seconds and let out a loud WHOOP! as she slammed it down on the table.
"OH YEAH!" she grinned. "It's all about the little things in life- a nice cold brew after a long day of work!"
She paused when she noticed Jaune hadn't touched his food yet. "Not hungry?"
Jaune glanced down at it. "No, I am, it's just... I don't usually eat like this."
Yang had just been popping open another beer- at his words, she slammed it down on the counter- it spilled over, but she paid no mind as she grimaced, leaning over the table. "Is that a picky eater I hear?!"
Jaune leaned back, his eyes momentarily drawn to the cleavage hanging right in front of his face before he forced himself to look back up at Yang's face. "Er... no?"
Yang's face immediately broke back into a grin. "Well, this is fun, isn't it?"
"Uh-"
"Y'know, sitting down and eating with someone else like this?"
Jaune swallowed nervously. "Y... Yes'm."
"Stop torturing him, Yang," Blake rolled her eyes.
"How... indecent!" Weiss flushed furiously.
"Your other knows even less shame than you!" Pyrrha pressed her face into her palms, shaking her head.
"But not as little as Nora," Ren rolled his eyes.
"Nobody knows as little shame as I do!" Nora declared proudly.
"I'm not coming out!" Ruby was still hiding under her cloak.
Yang pouted. "It's my other, you know..."
The next shot was of a pyramid of beer cans, and Yang's voice. "Alright, ro-sham-bo!" Both her and Jaune's hands appeared- Jaune was playing scissors, Yang rock. "Aw, bad luck, Jauney!" Yang teased as the camera moved towards a calendar that seemed to be dividing up the chores (the audience couldn't help noticing Yang never had chores more than twice a week.) "Still, there's no fairer way to divy up the chores!"
"So many... bad memories..." Ruby seemed to be trying to feed herself to the couch, but it steadfastly refused to eat her.
Still, Jaune didn't object. "I guess..."
"So, as of today, this is your home!" Yang proudly declared. She smirked and raised a declarative finger. "So try to make yourself feel at home, got it?"
"Er... yes'm," Jaune repeated.
Yang crossed her arms in a huff. "'Yes'm' this, 'yes'm' that... you gotta give me more to work with! C'mon, grow some cojones, why don't you!" Again, she leaned over the table, aggressively ruffling his hair.
"Yeah... sure... whatever you say!" he grunted as he struggled to pull away.
"What, so you can squeeze those, too?" Weiss growled.
"Hey, we agreed to let that go already!" Yang objected.
"We did, Weissy!" Nora beamed. "We don't need to break out the hat, do we?"
"No!" Weiss quickly fell back.
"In any case," Nora turned on Yang, and pulled out a sign, reading it out for them to hear. "NO BULLI THE JAUNEY!"
Everyone stared at her. "When did you make that thing?" Jaune finally asked.
Yang released him and leaned back in her chair. "You know what you need? A nice, hot bath! YEAH!" (She punctuated this by raising arms and legs alike in cheer, and nearly toppling her chair over backwards. "Nothing like nice hot water to send all your worries down the drain!"
Jaune obliged, entering the bathroom... to find all Yang's underwear on hangers dangling from the ceiling.
"...I'm not gonna survive the night," Jaune surmised.
Jaune sighed, and opened the curtains- and screamed. He dashed back down the hall and stood in the entrance to the kitchen, his modesty only protected by a beer can in the foreground.
"Okay, that's a little funny," Blake admitted.
"Perhaps to you degen-"
"YES, FEARLESS LEADER, YES!" Nora interrupted. "BUCK THE SYSTEM! WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING CLOTHES!"
She was rising to her feet when Ren forcefully grabbed her and pulled her back down. "It wasn't a conscious choice, Nora, he just got scared."
"Aw, phooey."
"YANG!" he cried.
Yang glanced at him, nonplussed. "Yeah?"
"In the bathroom, there's a- there's a-"
The thing in question that had prompted his panic appeared- a short, flightless bird with a red crest that waddled its way past him, a small towel around its neck. Yang grinned.
"Ah, I see you met Zwei!"
"Zwei?!" Ruby eagerly (and finally) lowered her hood. "Wait, that's not an adorable puppy, that's a penguin!" She paused. "Wait, what am I talking about, penguins are awesome!"
"Hmm... not as cute as our Zwei," Weiss crossed her arms.
"He looks better to me," Blake put in. Her tongue ran over her lips. "Much better..."
"Go to jail," Yang bonked her on the head. "Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred lien."
"Ruby's right, penguins are awesome!" Nora squealed. "Ren, Ren, we should get a penguin!"
"Is this before or after the sloth?" Ren asked.
"Get the penguin first," Vanessa suggested. "Sloths are moss carpets with faces, they'll still be in the same place when you're done."
"Good point," Nora pondered. "Wait, what did you say about-"
"MOVING ON!" Ren interjected before things could get ugly.
"Z-Zwei?" Jaune gaped.
"A hot-spring penguin," Yang explained. "Results of post-Second Impact genetic engineering. Saved him from the lab right before he was about to be euthanized."
Zwei shot him what seemed like an amused glance as he waddled towards the second refrigerator and extended a claw- a claw?- that opened the door for him to waddle inside.
"A... a hot springs..."
"A hot springs penguin, yes." Yang's amusement seemed to match her pet's. "He's our other roommate." She sighed, and picked up the beer that was protecting Jaune's privates from the camera- fortunately, there was a bottle of spice behind that to maintain the censorship.
"Okay, now this world is just screwing with us," Jaune sighed.
"Oh, get used to that," Vanessa rolled her eyes as she helped herself to a beer of her own.
"Now, with that out of the way... maybe you oughtta get back to the tub."
Jaune blinked, then remembered that he was naked. He turned violently red as he slunk back to the tub.
Yang glanced up at her ceiling as she downed the latest beer. Hmm... am I overplaying it a bit? I just wanted to make him feel welcome, but he's gotta be thinking there's some insincerity there by now...
"Just a tad," Weiss grimaced, holding her thumb and forefinger a nanometer apart. "Just a little bit."
Jaune lay back in the tub, gazing up at the ceiling above. Yang Xiao Long... he pondered. She's not a bad person...
Her smile as she'd directed him to the bath ran through his head again. "Nothing like nice hot water to send all your worries down the drain!"
I get why... but it's when I'm in the bath that I remember... all the worst things...
(His father glaring down at him from the platform above)
(That Ruby girl, already bandaged and wounded, nearly hitting the ground)
(The girl pointing the police towards him as his sisters glared at him in disapproval)
(His father's back walking away down the train station)
(The crying young boy he left in his wake)
He shook his head. Yang... Father... and who was she? Ruby... Rose... why does that name sound familiar?
"Wait, which sounds familiar?" Ruby asked. "Ruby or Rose?"
"Does it matter?" Weiss rolled her eyes in exasperation.
"I mean, it's an important distinction to make!"
"Hmm... she may be right," Ren agreed. Everyone looked towards him, but he didn't elaborate any further.
The camera cut to a dark chamber that had been very nearly destroyed- in the center of it was what seemed to be an evangelion, but not the one Jaune had just been piloting- it was slightly less bulky, a shade of red compared to Jaune's yellow, and had only a single, bright orange eye.
Overlooking the chamber was a windowed observation room- the windows were shattered, but on the other side was Nicholas Arc, his gloved hands in his pockets as he gazed through the windows at the devestation.
"Oh, good, Mr. Personality," Yang growled.
Blake appeared behind him. "How's Ruby?" she asked. "I heard you visited her in the hospital earlier."
"She'll recover in roughly twenty days," Nicholas reported. "Can you get Unit 00 fully repaired by then?"
Blake slowly nodded. "Yes... I believe I can. But... this is quite the burden to place on these children."
"We have no other choice," Nicholas rebutted emotionlessly. "Only children can become pilots. As long as we need them, they will continue to answer the call."
"And what of their feelings on the matter?" Blake asked.
Nicholas remained silent.
"Why can only children pilot these things?" Jaune wondered. "I mean, wouldn't it be more efficient for them to be calibrated to adults?"
"Hmm... maybe we'd understand that if we knew how the evas themselves actually worked," Pyrrha pondered. "We've only seen a brief glimpse of them in operation- maybe once we learn more, we'll understand..."
A door appeared, with a note taped to it reading Li'l Jaune's Lovely Suite, complete wtih a little heart.
"Oh, Yang," Ruby rolled her eyes.
"What can I say? I don't go halfway when I'm taking care of someone," Yang shrugged.
"I think that may be the problem in this case," Weiss groaned.
Jaune lay within- he had a small bed, complete with a pillow and a decent-size blanket. He was ucrrently laying on his side, a pair of earbuds in his ears, connected to a tape player.
"A walkman?" Yang chuckled. "Jauney, you can get all the music you want on your scroll, you know!"
"Hmm... maybe it has some sort of sentimental value?" Jaune guessed.
Jaune looked towards the edge of his room, and spotted a backpack- poking out of the top was an official-looking document- a school transfer form. Starting the next day, he was to attend Vytal-3 High School.
The camera focused on the walkman in question- including the tape, which bore a label with a handwritten title: Awesome Music (To Jaune, from Mommy)
"There's your sentimental value," Pyrrha noted sadly. "His mother gave it to him. Going by everything we've seen so far..."
"It might be all he has of her," Ruby finished, eyes downcast.
According to the device itself, he was just wrapping up the second track.
In the bathroom, Yang had taken the tub for herself, and was speaking on her scroll as she soaked. "What I'm saying is, he really got put through the wringer today. There's no telling if he'll even want to pilot after this."
Blake spoke from the other end. "Making sure he will is part of your job."
"I get that," Yang agreed. "But, in the words of the greatest minds of our generation, 'How do I reach thees keed?'"
"Kind of late to start complaining, after you forced us to let you take him in," Blake reminded her.
"Oh, shut up," Yang groaned before hanging up.
"Wait, I didn't just take him in to make sure he'd keep piloting, did I?" Yang narrowed her eyes at her other.
"I... don't think that's it," Jaune shook his head. "I mean, maybe part of it, but looking at her, I think she is actually concerned for me- er, him."
Yang glanced down at the water, drawing a circle in it with her finger. Yell about it all I want... I made him get in that thing... I was just using him as a tool. I'm no better than that bastard father of his...
"Except if you actually were, you wouldn't be worrying about it in the first place," Blake supplied.
Yang nodded halfheartedly. "Thanks, Kit-Kat."
Yang leaned back. Still, he beat the angel... so why aren't I satisfied?
Jaune turned over in his bed to gaze at the ceiling. Another unfamiliar ceiling... he pondered. No surprises there... this entire city is unfamiliar to me.
(This is your home as much as mine, Jaune!)
But is it? Why am I here?
Then, through the darkness of the night, memories began to leak back into him. He recalled something pounding into his face, again and again...
Until one final blow sent him and Unit 01 careening across Vytal-3. Finally, mercifully, the angel's lancelike appendage withdrew- leaving LCL to spurt out of the eva's head like blood.
"Okay, we're back here again!" Ruby squeaked.
"Looks like we finally get to see how that fight actually went!" Nora grinned. "Everybody zip it!"
"Skull damage, severity unknown!" cried the technician with the red hair over one eye.
"We're getting booted out of the system!" Ilia's fingers whitened on her keyeboard.
"We can't monitor the pilot's condition!" yelled the remaining technician with similar red hair, though significantly shorter.
"JAUNE!" Yang cried. "Quick, abandon the operation- eject the plug, get him out of there!"
"I can't!" Ilia cried. "My commands aren't getting through!"
"What- how-" Whatever Yang had been on the verge of saying, it was cut off when she saw something impossible- Unit 01's good eye had lit up. Against everything she understood about the evas, its jaws forced themselves apart.
"The eva... it's reactivated!" Blake's eyes widened.
"That's impossible!" Ilia gasped. "It shouldn't have any power left!"
"It's gone... berserk..." Blake took an unconscious step backwards.
Questions were arising in the audience, but heeding Nora's command, they remained silent.
Unit 01 pulled itself back to its feet and roared. It dropped to its knee and jumped across the entire distance between it and the angel, landing on it and proceeding to rain its fists down upon it. The angel attempted to grab it, but the eva broke free with apparent ease, landing back on the street.
"Checkmate," Nicholas commented with a smirk hidden behind his steepled fingers.
Unit 01 once more closed the distance, rushing towards the angel, only to be stopped by a hexagonal force field.
"The AT Field!" Yang gasped.
Unit 01 took a step back and raised its injured arm- there was a brief glow about it, and it was completely repaired.
"Left arm restored!" called the technician with the shorter red hair.
"Unit 01's activating its AT Field in response!" Blake exclaimed.
"...Amazing..." Yang didn't know what else to say.
Unit 01 reached out to the angel's field and seemed to dig its fingers into it, forcing a small hole that it ripped open, larger and larger.
"The fields are neutralizing one another!" Ilia proclaimed.
"I wouldn't call that neutralization... I'd call that ripping it apart!" Yang gaped.
The eva's upper half leaned through the hole it had made- seemingly out of desperation, the angel fired another beam that tore through the city in another cross-shape. The eva, however, only stumbled backwards slightly before leaning forward again and grabbing the angel's arm. As if in pure retribution, it twisted the arm until it shattered, leaking a dark ichor, before kicking it back into another building. The core mass of the angel went flying.
The arm stayed with Unit 01, and quickly liquidified.
Unit 01 did not wait for the angel to pick itself up again- it once again closed the distance at a sprint, moving not only the angel but the building it had collapsed against before turning its attention to the large red orb embedded into the angel's chest, surrounded by a boney ribcage. It broke off a couple of these bones and, with a bestial roar, used them to batter at the orb with all its strength, until it began to crack.
The angel let out a fierce cry, and, in one last-ditch effort, wrapped around the eva's head, forming into a giant sphere.
"It's gonna try to take Unit 01 with it!" Yang panicked.
Sure enough, the angel's dying act was to form a great explosion- a cross shape that reached high into the sky- if it were a building, it would practically have broken through earth's atmosphere.
Yang gaped at the spectacle- it took a few seconds for her to remember what else had been at that explosion's epicenter. "Jaune... what happened to Jaune?"
As the command room's cameras adjusted, they saw it- Eva Unit 01, walking through the sea of fire left in the explosion's wake, damaged, but clearly still entirely intact.
The command center was silent. The only faces not in a state of shocked awe were the stoic Port and the smirking Nicholas.
"Well... it worked, didn't it?" Yang chuckled nervously. "Turns out, Jauney's a great pilot!"
"That... wasn't Jaune-Jaune," Nora shook her head, taken aback. "That wasn't Jaune-Jaune at all."
Jaune had experienced it all from the entry plug, though he didn't feel in control at any point. His face was just as shocked- almost terrified- as those in the command room.
He glanced around, and saw the unit's reflection in a nearby building. The damage had caused massive cracks in the armor- as he watched in some sort of morbid fascination, the helmet slid off and fell to the ground. He was not prepared for what he saw beneath.
A fleshy mass- some bizarre, angular head protruding from the Eva's armor, the area where an eye would be was empty where the angel's lance had pierced it. And yet, as he watched in mounting horror, flesh refilled the spot, a slit opened, and a new eye emerged, blinking and seeming to look straight through the reflection, straight into his very soul...
The track on his walkman changed and jolted Jaune back to the present. That wasn't real, he tried to assure himself. That can't have been real... you passed out after the fight, and imagined that you saw that...
He rolled over again in his bed, glancing out the window, revealing nothing but the night sky above.
He was barely conscious of his door sliding open, of Yang's voice, softer and gentler than he'd heard it before.
"I don't know if you're awake, Jaune, but... I forgot to tell you something. You did a great thing today. You should be proud."
Jaune, haunted by his vision, remained silent.
"...Good night, Jaune."
She slid the door closed.
A ringing silence fell over the room. Naturally, Yang was the one to break it.
"What the actual fu-"
XXXX
I'll go ahead and dedicate this episode to everyone who feels like every ceiling they look up at is an unfamiliar ceiling. Existence knows I've been there. Until next time, don't you dare go hollow- Gamer4 out.