Ok, I totally know you guys are not happy, considering I said I would update faster and didn't. I give my apologies! Hopefully I don't take forever to finish this story:( Anyways, here is the next chapter. As always tell me what you think.

13

I searched through my closet looking for something important. Something I knew was here, even though I had hidden so perfectly that I almost even couldn't remember where I hid it. I pushed away all thoughts of it before, but now, everything is changing. I needed something to remind me of the past. Peeta and I did start working on our book. The book filled with pages of so many people lost. Everyday another person is added. Therapy kind of ended since I mentioned the book.

I found it hiding in the darkest, farthest back corner of the tight space. I grabbed my father's bow, and just stared at it in my palms. It seemed small and fragile in my hands, but I knew that wasn't the case. In my hands this was one of the most deadly weapons, at least, that was the case years ago. I already was starting to feel better having something so familiar to me in my hands.

It had to be at least three years now. I guess you could say I am whole again. I still feel pain surge through me if I think about the people of my past, but I can bare it now. Maybe it's because Peeta is holding my hand every step of the way. Maybe it's because I learned to accept it all and not try to blame it all on myself. Who truly knows? All I know is that I woke up this morning and needed to hunt. I haven't had an urge to in so long. I guess in my mind, hunting became tainted. Tainted by how much the Capitol advertised my archery skills. Tainted by the thoughts of Gale that always comes with it. Tainted by how many people I killed with my bow and arrows.

It didn't matter today. I needed to be out of the house. I needed to think. I needed to be by myself. Something that I still avoided, but something that today I desperately needed. So I left Peeta sleeping quietly in the bed and walked out of the house. I felt slightly guilty leaving Peeta without a word. I knew he would worry, but he won't come looking for me.

He could tell something has been on my mind lately, and something has. He has been dropping hints stating that I should talk to him, and usually I would. I don't keep secrets from him anymore. Well, except for this one. I have been pushing them aside, though. I knew the topic would upset him. Since I wouldn't talk to him, I think he expected me to run off and get some space sometime soon. He knows I will come back. I love him too much to leave him forever, and I was sure of that now. He was definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

The day was bright and sunny. I couldn't actually remember what day it was. I didn't think it useful to remember. I left the Victor's Village easily. The hard part was getting past town without anybody noticing me. I don't like going into town as much as I used to. Of course, I have to. I like to help out at the medicine factories or check up on old friends, but whenever I go into town there are always people who want to shake my hand or get an autograph. It reminds me too much of times when I was in the Capitol. Times where I had to look like a celebrity.

So I stayed close to the edges. There was no wall for me to hide behind any longer, but that didn't matter. I was good at staying quiet and stealthy. I always was. So I crept from bush to tree, quickly making my way to Gale and I's meeting place. I turned away quickly, not wanting to think about him. I needed to get him out of my mind.

The forest was teeming with life. I could hear them everywhere. I think that there were actually more animals now than there was then. Maybe that's because nobody was here to kill them now. It didn't really matter.

I started to test some arrows, shooting at a random tree in the distance. I missed by a lot. Way over a few feet off. It was actually kind of depressing. I slightly hoped that I would have just magically retained all my skills, and I would be as perfect as I was during the war. Though I knew that wasn't going to be the case, I didn't think I would be this bad.

I changed my target to a tree that was closer to me, and continued to practice shooting. After about an hour of practice, I started to get a feel for the bow again, and began to hit the tree perfectly every time. I changed my target a little farther out. I tried to focus on what I was doing, but my mind started to drift.

I reflect on the years since I have returned to District 12. The life in the Meadow has multiplied. It reminds me of Gale way too much. I am always thinking about gale these days, though I try my hardest not to. I always have to tell myself not to dwell on the past when I do, but everything in my life besides Peeta seems to be revolving around Gale, ironically. I would talk to Peeta about it, and I know he would understand, but I also know it will hurt him to know that I still think of Gale more than I really should. And I have put Peeta through too much pain already.

About a week ago, I went into town to buy some supplies. Peeta needed more flour to make bread, and I wanted to buy a couple of things for myself. Peeta went to go check up on Haymitch. A new shipment of liquor came into town, and Peeta wanted to make sure that Haymitch didn't kill himself from alcohol poisoning. As I was walking in the town, I ran into someone. Someone from my past. Someone who I thought I would never see again. It was Hazelle and the kids. All of them except for one. Gale.

"Katniss!" she said, looking a little flustered. I could tell that they just arrived in District 12. Her kids and her still had all their bags with them. Some of the younger ones were whining, while Hazelle looked exhausted. From the look of surprise in her eyes, I could tell she wasn't expecting to see me so soon.

I lamely pulled the bag of flour I was carrying closer to me, as if that would protect me. I automatically went looking for Gale, and I found myself sighing with relief the second I found he wasn't there.

"Hi," I said a bit shyly.

She gave me a weak smile. "How have you been?"

She seemed older than I remembered her. The light that had always been in her eyes wasn't glowing as brightly. There were more worry lines on her face. I could tell that there was something wrong with her. Was she sick? Or was she just tired?

"Good. How are you?" I replied.

"I'm doing ok."

I then asked, "What brought you back to District 12?"

A faraway look appeared in her eyes. "Oh, I was just homesick," she said. Then she looked back at me, seemingly piercing me with her stare. "I wanted to bring the kids back home. Life is easier here than in District 2."

"Yeah," I replied, lamely. It was just Hazelle and me at this point. The kids drifted off, reminiscing about all the things they remember from District 12. There was an awkward silence between the two of us. Hazelle broke it by saying, "Do you want to know, or do you want me to not say anything?"

I knew we were talking about Gale. Did I want to know about him, how he was doing, how had his life changed? "I'm with Peeta now," I said instead of answering her question. Not that telling her changed anything, but I felt stronger when I said it. She didn't look surprised.

"That's good," she said. "I hope you guys are very happy together."

"We are." I sounded so defensive, even though I didn't mean to. I just didn't want Gale, or thoughts of Gale, to be the thing to separate us. Especially since we finally got to be happy. I didn't want to ruin that. "I'm sorry," I said. "I don't want to be rude or anything, but you being here is not good. For once in my life I am happy. For once in my life I got what I wanted. For once in my life I feel whole. Gale was my best friend, but he is gone now. Though, I don't particularly blame him for my sister, I still don't want him in my life. I can't deal with it right now."

And then I ran home as fast as I possibly could. I tried my best to hide my worry from Peeta, but he knew me too well. I didn't tell him what was wrong, though. I just let him keep on asking. I still don't even know if he knows Hazelle is back in town. I don't think so, or if he does he hasn't mentioned it to me. He is really worried about me, and I feel so guilty. I don't know why, though. I didn't do anything wrong.

My pent up feelings finally got the best of me. I couldn't talk to Peeta, Haymitch wouldn't understand, and there was nobody else. So I went hunting instead. I shot at random targets that I changed every couple of hours. I listened to the sounds of the forest. I didn't realize how much I missed them until now.

A couple of mockingjays flew over my head. I sang Rue's couple of note, as tears gathered up in my eyes. I looked to the sky and whispered, "What am I going to do?"

The sun had been down for many hours when I finally decided to head back to my house. I gathered my belongings and walked back towards civilization. I tried to be silent as I walked back into my house and crawled into bed with Peeta. He turned to face me and said with a tired looking smile on his lips, "Hello, stranger. I haven't seen you all day."

"I love you," I replied.

I curled into his arms as he kissed my forehead and said, "I love you, too."

I felt a sense of calmness wash over me as he said these words. They were the truth, of course. I just needed to trust them.