Sorry again for the long hiatus. Please read and review!

"Fight fire with fire?" Ponyboy repeated Darry's recent pronouncement. "What does that even mean?"

"Think about it." Darry paced back and forth between his younger brothers like a caged lion, ready to pounce. "Does Steve have a sister?"

Soda gave him a weird look. "You know he doesn't have a sister. Why would you even ask that, Dar?"

Ignoring Soda's annoying question, Darry went on, "Does Johnny have a sister?"

Ponyboy raised an eyebrow. "No…"

"Dallas?"

"Nope."

"Two-Bit?"

"No-wait. Yes. Yes, he does," Soda answered.

Darry sighed dramatically. He didn't need his grand plan ruined by the presence of an actual, real life, biological sister, i.e. Two-Bit's. "Okay, yeah, he has a sister, a little sister. But we don't even know her name, even though we've known Two-Bit our whole lives. Odd, when you think about it, actually…"

"That's true," Ponyboy mused. "I just referred to her as his 'kid sister' in that book I wrote." Ponyboy was still feeling a little sore over Mr. Syme not acknowledging The Outsiders a few days ago and didn't feel like talking about the book.

"Whatever. All we have to do," Darry continued, "is roundup a bunch of sisters ourselves. Sisters of Johnny, Dallas, Two-Bit, and Steve. I think that the combined power of the fake sisters will, like, cancel each other out, and help the gang see that Sunshine Daisy is not really our sister."

"Darry, that's brilliant!" Soda cried. "Except…where are we going to find these random sisters? Didn't Sunshine Daisy and the others just kind of show up one day?"

"I've already thought of that. You know how she is always talking to that rectangle with a picture of an apple on the back? Okay. Well, I always hear her talking about the International Institute of Mary Sues. It must be some school where they…teach girls to pretend to be peoples' sisters I guess. We can go there."

"But Darry, no one else in the gang has a real sister-"

"Except Two-Bit," Soda cut in.

"-so what are the chances that we are going to find the girls we need at this institute?" Ponyboy finished.

Darry sighed. "Look, do you have a better idea?"

Ponyboy shook his head. "I'm not saying it's a bad idea. I just have some thoughts…here's another one. Where is the International Institute of Mary Sues?"

Darry and Soda didn't know, but unbeknownst to the three boys, Alexa was lighting up on the kitchen counter, and she had heard them.

"Ask me a question," Alexa suddenly suggested, "such as, 'Alexa, what is on my grocery list?"'

Soda and Pony screamed, but Darry ran over and picked up the device. "Guys! This terrifying creepy robot thing can help us!"

"But she's a terrifying creepy robot," Ponyboy whispered, not wanting to offend a box that could hear and interpret any conversation (apparently).

"She told us to ask her a question!" Soda exclaimed. He wrenched Alexa from Darry. "Alexa, where is the International Institute of Mary Sues?"

"The International Institute of Mary Sues is located at 1894 Flawless Way…"

"Write that down!" Darry hissed, prompting Ponyboy to scribble the address right on the countertop.

"That's not even that far away!" Soda cried as he stared at the address.

"To the truck, boys!" Darry declared. "Let's go right now and get our gang and our lives back."

Filled with renewed hope, the trio trooped past the living room where Sunshine Daisy was regaling the rest of the gang with tales of herself and her friends. They were glued to their seats, as usual.

"Should we tell them that we're leaving?" Ponyboy whispered to his older brothers.

"Nah," Soda replied. "They won't notice we are gone as long as she is here."

Darry and Soda kept walking, but Ponyboy felt compelled to see if they could even hear him and yelled out, "Hey, guys, me, Darry, and Soda are gonna go colonize the moon! We'll be home for dinner!"

"Mmm," Steve said vaguely; no one else even looked up.

The Curtises arrived at the IIMS a couple hours later and stood at the imposing gates that blocked the school from the rest of the world. They had no idea how to get in. They tried knocking, yelling, searching for a key, and tossing Ponyboy over the gate. He was immediately thrown back before hitting the sacred ground, but upon his second time being drop-kicked in under ten seconds, he discovered something important.

"Look!"

He was pointing to a tiny sign in the upper right corner of the gate that read, "In order to gain admittance, you must be the infallible sister or other random, infallible female relating to a male character or characters in a book, movie, or TV show in which no such person actually exists."

"We can't even get in!" Ponyboy wailed, kicking the gates. "And we came all this way!" He started bellowing into the wind in despair. "ALEXA, HOW DO WE GET INTO THE LOCKED GATES?"

"Get a grip, Ponyboy!" Soda ordered. "Alexa's not here!" He felt strange mentioning the talking box by name. Who decided to call her Alexa, anyway?

"I guess we'll just have to leave a note," Darry said dejectedly. "What else can we do?"

"A note?" Ponyboy repeated. "What are the chances they'll see a note?"

"Darry's right, Pone. What else can we do?"

Darry grabbed a piece of paper and a marker from their Ford and wrote, "Are you dying to meet your brother? Is your brother named Steve Randle, Two-Bit Matthews, Johnny Cade, or Dallas Winston? Then join us in Tulsa, Oklahoma for a reunion party at…" After writing down their address, Darry let go of the paper, and to the boys' amazement, it sailed right over the gates and started darting in the breeze all over the school grounds of the IIMS.

"We just have to hope that the gang's "sisters" see our note," Darry told his little brothers, hoping to bolster their spirits on the way home. "It's our only chance; I definitely think it's going to work."

After another uncomfortable night all smashed in Darry's bed, the three boys awoke with a start at the ringing of their doorbell at exactly 8:00 the next morning. They stumbled to the door-and immediately wished they had put on decent clothes or at least brushed their teeth. For on the other side of the surprisingly still-intact door stood the four most beautiful girls the Curtises had ever seen before.

"You must be the Curtis brothers," the first girl greeted them. She looked like Steve, only hotter. "I'm Stephania."

"I'm Janey," the second girl chimed in. She looked like Johnny, only beautiful.

"I'm Two-Cents," the third girl announced. She looked like-you guessed it!-Two-Bit, but beautiful.

"And I'm Helena," the fourth girl finished. She looked, as you already know, like Dallas, except gorgeous.

The Curtises had temporarily forgotten how to speak English, or form words or sounds at all, actually. The only thing each boy was hearing in his head was, Woooooooow. They're so beautiful…

The Curtis boys were in love! But their stupor was short-lived. Four very annoyed and very mystified boys were stalking into the room.

"Who are you?" Dally, Two-Bit, Steve, and Johnny all asked their counterpart in an annoyed tone.

"I'm your sister, of course!" Helena, Two-Cents, Stephania, and Janey chorused back.

Sunshine Daisy, having lagged behind the worshipful gang to admire herself in the mirror, froze when she saw the four girls standing in the living room. Surely these weren't…MORE SISTERS?!

She was in trouble.

Uh-Oh! Sunshine Daisy may have finally met her match(es).