a/n: So pretty much I'm far too happy for my own good. But term is now OVER, I have three weeks of holidays to look forward to, I just had a yummy afternoon tea reminiscent of being a little kid (fishfingers, soggy because they were microwaved, with tomato sauce and a glass of orange juice and soda) and am about to read fanfiction and paint my fingernails. Life is fun. So here is the next not-very-fun chapter. :P

Disclaimer: List of things I don't own: a chocolate bar, a car, a driver's licence, yellow nail polish, Glee... this list is too long. *sigh* my list of stuff I DO own would be much shorter...

Please tell me what's going on.

Please.

Blaine.

Blaine sent the message before falling back on his bed. His luminescent clock read 1:07, while outside the clear night flooded Dalton's grounds with moonlight. Trying to relax he thought through the previous day's highlights, hoping to erase the huge shadow that had covered him since he last received a message from Dave. The cryptic message that he had been trying to avoid thinking about, or the lack of follow on from Dave that he was having trouble not reading into.

But what if something had gone wrong? What if he'd come out to his parents who'd gotten angry and also somehow found out he had a gay friend who'd helped him come to terms with himself and banned him from communicating with him. What if bullies had beaten him up and he was lying in a gutter somewhere needing help? What if he'd given up on Blaine? Decided it was too hard being friends with a guy you only knew online. What if... the possibilities were endless.

Pulling himself away from a train of thought he'd followed far too many times, he focused on yesterday.

The 'impromptu' performance was scheduled so they'd had Warbler Practice in the morning. He'd been unfocused at the start, tired from staying up too late thinking, but singing had got him more normal in no time. He'd felt almost happy when he'd left for class but then he'd checked his phone and found no message from Dave.

He was distracted though class, scribbling instead of taking notes, and when he was focused by the bell he realised he'd written What Happened? in large letters on the page and gone over each stroke so many times and so hard he could read it on the next five pages.

He was late to his next class. He liked the teacher so he tried to focus, but as he rushed to leave after the bell he noticed his notes were split by comments that must have been based on his thoughts. He was partway through copying his notes again, this time without the internal debate, when he remembered the performance.

Rushing down a corridor he'd reached the foyer's stairs. Almost tripping down them in his haste, he hadn't notice anything odd until a confused voice called out, "excuse me." Trying not to look annoyed he'd turned to make some excuse, before noticing what no one else had: there was a random guy, not in uniform, on the stair case. This wouldn't have been weird except for Dalton's strict "no visiting during school hours" policy for families. Anyway, this boy looked like he was no older than Blaine himself and should probably be in school.

The guy had gone on "um, hi, can I ask you a question? I'm new here." Blaine hadn't let it show but he'd known that was an obvious lie. There was no way a new student would be left to 'fend for themselves' partway through the day. So now he knew that this boy had something to hide. He shook his hand and introduced himself. There'd been no way he was letting that mystery boy go: he'd gotten too curious.

"My name's Blaine."

"Kurt."

So then the boy had had a name. Kurt. Well, he'd decided to play along with Kurt's charade for a while.

"So what exactly is going on?"

Smiling and getting into his oblivious character, Blaine had replied with almost real happiness and enthusiasm. "The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. It tends to shut the school down for a while."

He'd been surprised at how much better he'd felt when he pretended to be happy; he almost hadn't been acting anymore. It had helped that, when he though back on it, Kurt had been gorgeous. But what had got him at the time was his real and open curiosity. He was definitely lying about why he was here but everything else seemed to be honest emotion. Especially his next comment.

"So, wait, the Glee club here is kind of cool?"

"The Warblers are like rock stars." He wasn't sure where that line had come from, but it had had the desired effect as Kurt looked reasonably shocked. He had stopped acting by then, and had been feeling better than he had all day; better than he had for a while.

"Come on. I know a short cut."

Well. Maybe he'd been a bit over the top when he'd grabbed Kurt's hand and led him to the Senior Commons, but he'd enjoyed it and he'd almost thought Kurt had too. And he'd definitely been having too much fun when he responded to Kurt's comment on sticking out, but he'd had a horrid day and this was suddenly making up for it.

So they'd sung their 'impromptu' song and performed perfectly, and he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off Kurt the entire time. He couldn't help thinking that he'd been right when he'd said he stood out. He was like a light. Blaine felt better around him.

He'd almost lost him after the performance but had caught him as he'd been leaving and, had motioned Wes and David over to talk with him.

Well that had been a tough conversation. He'd felt, for the first time, like he was opening himself up to someone, anyone, who wasn't Dave. And that had scared him. What if Kurt didn't feel like that? What if he laughed? But he hadn't been doing it for him. He'd been doing it for Kurt. And that had given him courage. And Kurt's response, like that was just what he needed just then, was so uplifting despite their topic of conversation. He felt like, for the first time, someone really got it. Got him. Got his experiences. And he felt like Kurt was going through the same moment of hope. Of peace. And for the first time that day, he'd though of Dave happily. "He should hear Kurt's story," he'd thought. And, after Kurt had gone, he'd reached for his phone to tell him when he saw the notice. The same one he'd seen all day but it still hurt.

eMailBox is empty.

And now, so much later, that hope was a distant memory, because his eMailBox was still empty and Dave was still silent.

Getting comfortable in his bed he tried to sleep, but he was too nervous that he'd miss the letter. Somehow, he'd persuaded himself that if he replied as soon as he got the message, then Dave would understand that their friendship was important to him. So he brought his phone right up to his face and, still prepared to sleep, lay in bed watching it. Eventually, around 3am he fell asleep, too tired to fight it any more. And around 2:30am he finally got a response.

Blaine.

You've said you'll trust me. You've said you'll understand. And I have to tell you. I have to tell you now before I lose my nerve. You know everything else about me but I've held off telling you this because I don't want to lose your friendship. After hearing this, I think a lot of things about me will make more sense. And whatever you do after that, you must read all the way to the end.

You see, the thing you don't know about my school, the thing I'm scared you'll never understand about me, is that I am one of them. I push people into lockers, throw them into dumpsters, slushy them, and sometimes beat them up because they are different. I make the life of the one out gay guy at my school hell. It started well before gay meant anything personal, when he was different because he liked to sing and dance and look good. When it first became a way of holding popularity. The only way I knew how. And then, when it did, there was always this innermost part of me that had a voice like my dad's that said "That could be you. If you come out, if you show weakness, that will be you" as if I could scare the gay out of me.

Then when I read your letters, when I write to you I feel calm. I can be me and that is normal. That we're gay is just a fact that is no more or less important than any other, and I can feel confident. I go away from reading you're emails thinking "yes. I will tell mum and dad today. This will be fine" but as soon as I'm back at school any tiny negative thought grows and I end up feeling so confused I want to hit something. Throw something. Transfer my pain onto anyone else. And you could be a better target than the gay kid I, when I stop to think about it, envy? Sure, school is crap for him, but he's going to be someone one day. His father doesn't care that he's gay and cares about how he's treated at school. He has friends the he isn't scared will stab him in the back. Who don't care that he isn't popular because they aren't either.

When I see their Glee club I recognise how much I want to be in a group like that. It isn't the singing or dancing, it's the community. They are all so different and stick up for each other. I want to be part of a group like that. But if I even suggest joining, they never would have accepted me and the guys I hang out with would have shunned me. I would have been alone. And that is the thing I most fear.

I can't be alone.

Please don't abandon me.

Dave.

a/n: ohhhh, semi-cliffhanger! I like knowing stuff you don't. :)