a/n: I'M BACK! So, hi anyone who reads these, I'm really sorry but, after posting this I've caught up with myself. sigh. So now I have to write the last chapter/two chapters (depending on how it turns out) which is giving me grief before you get anything else. But this is a sort of happy chapter, so that makes things a bit better, right? And by the way, camp was GREAT and EPIC and AWESOME and completely not rubbish and there was pranks and epic games of epic proportions and talks and talking and singing and general FUN. And now I shall rant, only slightly because I saw it yesterday and the emotion levels have gone down slightly and I don't want to scare you, so *SPOILERS*:
WHAT IS WITH KURT? HE'S STILL ALL "WE CAN'T COMPEATE" AND THIS IS GETTING OVER THE TOP, SERIOUSLY. AND THERE WAS A KLAINE CLIFF HANGER! AND I'M LIKE "YAY, they gave them their own cliff hanger" but only between shouts of "WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!" which I do know is the point of a cliff hanger but STILL. And poor Kurt. They like to mess things up for him, don't they? First Britney embarrassed him then he went with it and she ditched him and somewhere there he got sad about the roles written to suite him and he's got that CLIFF HANGER (!) with Blaine and yeah. I feel sorry for him. But the Romeo Juliette thing was a bad idea and he should have known it would be. So that is mainly his fault. although they shouldn't have laughed.
*END OF SPOILERS* because I have something important-ish to say. It's about language/swearing because I personally don't enjoy it in stories. at all. And so I was not very willing to put it in here, but it can, and I did know this before I wrote this, help add stress to what you say in real life, and therefore what the characters say, if it is used in moderation. So if it offends you, I'm sorry, but I have tried the chapters without it and they don't mean as much. Especially because it's hard in writing to stress parts of a sentence which can be done aloud by changes in tone. No one has said anything about this so far but this is for the me-types out there who don't really like it.
disclaimer: from my rant on my opinion of the last episode do you really think I own Glee? Although if I did I don't know if I'd change it because it was a pretty epic episode... anyway, I don't own Glee. When I do, you'll know.
Dave,
I'm sorry, I'm a bit busy at school right now, I don't have time to write.
Blaine.
Blaine knew Dave would see through his lie and that it would hurt, but he'd heard nothing from Kurt in the week since they'd fought. He'd wanted to do something about it but as time went on he got more self-conscious and worried that Kurt had never seen their friendship as anything that mattered. So he hadn't done anything either.
He was on his way to Warbler Rehearsals, late again but Wes had given up trying, when he walked into a babbling group of teenagers, around his age, who defiantly didn't go to Dalton.
"Excuse me?" he said, curious. None of these people seemed to match but they all seemed to fit together.
"Oh, high!" replied a blond girl in a cheerleading uniform. "I'm Quinn and we're looking for Blaine."
She mistook his look of shock and went on. "He's in the Dalton Glee club, the…"
"Warblers," someone called out.
"Yeah," she went on, "and we've never met him but he knows our friend, Kurt-"
"You know Kurt?"
"Duh," said the same someone from near the back.
"How's he going? Is everything OK? Why are you here? Did something hap-"
"We just need to speak to Blaine."
"Yeah, yeah that's me, is everything all right?" They looked at him, confused, for a moment, before a tall guy in jock's cloths stepped forward.
"Hi, I'm Finn, It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, seeming to try to be polite but Blaine was too busy trying, and failing, not to think about why they were here to care.
"Why do you need to talk to me?"
They looked around, still confused by his sharp tone, but he didn't care. "We wanted to check this place out before Kurt came."
"Before Kurt WHAT?"
"Kurt's transferring."
That simple two word sentence shouldn't have shocked him like it did. He'd hoped since they'd met that Kurt would be able to come here, or anywhere he was safe really, but he'd always dismissed it as being unlikely. Too unlikely. The main reason for this was his knowledge of Kurt and his refusal to accept help. He was stubborn and Blaine had always doubted his willingness to go for help. So something big must have happened. Something even this oblivious group would notice.
"Why?"
"Well, he's been being bullied. Worse than we thought-"
"I know."
He'd meant it as a simple indication for them to more on with their story. But they took it as more.
"You KNOW?" a girl from the side, 'Mercedes' he thought, remembering the conversations he'd had with Kurt, called out walking up to him. "YOU know. YOU: some random boy he met two weeks ago. He told YO-"
"He didn't NEED to TELL me. I could SEE it! And you would have too if you hadn't looked away. All of you."
They were looking nervous now, and guilty. "So my question was not 'why is he transferring?' but 'what happened that was so bad you noticed?'"
As Mercedes stepped away, Quinn spoke up again. "Karofsky threatened to kill him."
He closed his eyes. His head was swimming. "How long ago?"
"We found out yesterday so a couple of days before then."
He was leaning against the wall and it was the only thing holding him up. Kurt hadn't told him. Kurt hadn't told him because of a little split over privacy. Trough his guilt and horror one idea stood out. "I have to see him," he whispered.
Quinn was the only one to pick up on something. "Why didn't you know already?"
He looked up. "I have to go see him."
"I'll drive you," Quinn said, sighing. Leading the way past the rest of New Directions who seemed confused, and rightly so.
"Thank you."
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"So, why didn't you know?"
Blaine wished he could ignore her, but she'd let them have silence for the first half of the trip and she was driving him so he knew he really should reply. He just didn't feel like talking about this.
"We... we fought."
He saw her eyes narrow but she stayed quiet so he went on. "He felt I hadn't been honest with him and I felt he'd invaded my privacy and..."
"And..." she prompted.
"And I felt bad about it already and he just pointed it out and I was angry at myself and the way it had turned out and I said stuff that wasn't what I meant and... we fought."
She was quiet for a few minutes and didn't speak until they were pulling up in front of Kurt's door.
"He needs you, you know. So you better not mess this up again."
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"Kurt?"
Quinn knocked softly on the door of Kurt's basement bedroom while Blaine tried to focus. He knew that he needed to say something but he felt like whatever he'd say would mess things up more than they already were. He couldn't stand that. So he stayed quiet.
"You know you don't have to knock, Quinn," came a soft reply. Kurt sounded so... lost that Blaine scolded himself. This wasn't about him. This was about Kurt.
"But I do."
He thought he heard a small intake of breath but discarded that idea when Kurt replied with "Get out of here, Blaine," with such cool anger he took a step back. Quinn shock her head and nudged him towards the door, herself moving to the end of the corridor; Keeping them in sight but giving them some indications of privacy.
"Kurt. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry you found out like that. I'm sorry I got angry; I didn't even try to think about it from your perspective. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't trust you. Like our relationship was one way-"
"How can you think that means anything?"
"It probably shouldn't. But I do trust you. I was scared. I was trying to think of a way to tell you but I just kept putting it off. I deluded myself into thinking that what I was doing was helping you. And that bringing up things about me would be selfish. Because I was scared."
"Doesn't that prove you don't trust me? Doesn't that fear prove that?"
"I don't know. But I don't think so. Your opinion matters to me. I care about it, some would say too much, and putting a part of me out there that I didn't think deserved the high opinion you seem to have of me, that scared me. So maybe I didn't trust you to remain my friend if I told you, but I think it was more a feeling of 'if you'd known this you wouldn't have been my friend in the first place, so why should telling you now change that?'"
"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."
"Of course not! Do you think I don't know that-"
"Yes."
"What?"
"You don't what this feels like. You don't know how I felt when I discovered you'd hidden that entire section of your life form me. How could you?"
"Did you even read the recent messages?" he said it quietly, but full of pain at both the memory and Kurt's dismissal of it. Kurt was quiet.
"I felt betrayed. Lost. Distrusted. Abandoned. He was going on about 'don't abandon me' and somehow he didn't realise he'd already done the abandonment. I felt like saying 'none of that meant anything to you?' because it meant a damn lot to me." He was leaning against the door frame, sinking into it and giving it his weight.
"And I was angry. Because he made it all about him. And couldn't he see how much this hurt me? But that was just the thing: he couldn't. And I hope the difference between these scenarios is that I can. Or I'm trying to. So I hope you won't give up on me like I've given up on him."
Blaine stayed there, feeling as if all his strength had left him with his words, but Kurt didn't open the door. Quinn came towards him, miming knocking on the door. He just shook his head. Nodding, she stepped back. When the door did open, it was only slightly. "Quinn," Kurt whispered, "did he go?"
As she shook her head Blaine stood strait and looked at him. "I'm here."
Kurt smiled sadly before hugging him tightly, tears dripping onto the Dalton blazer.
"I'm sorry, too."
And now I know you're angry with me.
What do you want me to do?