Why do people put disclaimers when it's a fanfic site? Uhm so yup here's the story since my power is out and I'm forced to stop reading. Thank you to my reviewer! :D How is it some of my favorite authors find me?
Five. That's how many times my darling best friend had to poke me so that I would stay awake for Transfiguration, and it was just the first class. She failed to wake me the sixth time of course which lead to McGonagall's bony hand rapping on my desk waking me up, rather loudly I might add. Unfortunately for us both I respond to being woken up the way a rather large grizzly bear deals with you stealing its honey, which is to say terribly.
Long story short I accidently called her a wretched old hag and something about removing a stick from her nether region that I cringe to think of. My one saving grace was that Frank threw his hand over my mouth before I said anything about her obvious need of a sex life. Needless to say I now had detention (much to the Marauder's and everyone else in the class laughing at my misfortunes glee), and my plot of revenge upon Cor was inevitable. I'd taken the time to test it during the day between my half sleep stupors, during Potions with old Sluggy, again during our last and current class of the day, Charms. She said the same comment every time, I really did know her far too well, then again she should have devised more interesting sayings for her repertoire.
"Skyla are you paying the bloodiest bit of attention to me?", the very person I was just conniving against snaps impatiently, thrusting me from my stupor.
Shifting my head off my hand where it had rested with a roll of my eyes I turn to Cor with a pleasant smile, "Yes of course I am absolutely enthralled with you, you beautiful pixie, marry me? You have to admit our children would be sexy little buggers…though I can't say much for their mental capacity."
Cor's answer is the same as always, sticks her tongue out and goes back to trying to shrink her book using the spell we'd just learned as we were supposed to and chattering. I can't say how many times I've proposed we make children, probably up there with how many times Potter asked Lily out, I wasn't the most creative with come backs at times, which was okay since Cor wasn't either.
"You know we would have some 'sexy buggers' as you put it, but then again I'd hate to ruin the self confidence of other children who met them, though it isn't our, well my fault that I have amazing genes. I haven't the faintest what your genes would do except help them pass history off magic..", ah my friend, anyone else would think this was verbal abuse, from Cor though it was just tough love.
That and blasphemous lies as my genes would be the best thing since the Beatles for the bastard lucky enough to get them. Okay maybe I over exaggerate, they would be likely to make the kid a socially awkward penguin like myself. What was our obsession with penguins anyways?
"Damn straight those kids would take over rule of the free world, though it would be my contribution to them that helped that. Ugh lovey would you please make my book shrink I'm going to pass out."
Cor smirked in that particularly evil Cor way that said not-even-if-you-were-a-tutu-wearing-hippogriff-serendaing-Sirius-with-Cher. Yes she could convey all that with a stare, never underestimate Cor. I loved her, but whatever happened now was her own blasted fault.
"Eugh! Cor did you just seriously lick my arm?", I groan from my spot at the dinner table that night.
She only smirked, making me wonder how in the world all these people in Hogwarts had learned to make their face do that. It was their default setting, and I don't think my face muscles are capable of creating a smirk. With this in mind I try a smirk of my own, licking my hand and smacking it to Cor's forehead in retaliation.
"Never for the love of humanity, make that face again, I thought you were in some form of physical pain it was that awful.", Cor yet again pulls off an infuriatingly superb smirk, wiping the spit from our five year old moment off her face as though it didn't gross her out the way I knew it had to.
"Hey Frank are you back in the real world yet or should I send Cor into that alternate universe of Alice that you're currently in to pull your sorry arse back?", he was staring off into space with his elbow in the mashed potatoes I'd placed on in his plate in the hopes of him eating it, swaying slightly. If you listened close enough I swear the poor romantic sod was humming to himself.
He didn't answer, which prompted Cor to smack him upside the back of the head as Alice made her way over to sit beside him. Thank goodness, the second she sat down he snapped out of it, going back to normal Frank. I thought we would have to resort to drastic measures, besotted or not my record collection was in his stuff and I needed him lucid to find it in all his junk.
With a glance around at the Great Hall I grinned, it was full and now it was time to put my plan in action. , "Say Cor you watch any of that silly American sport again this summer? I don't get your obsession with it honestly."
She took the bait, just as I knew she would, the ever reliable Cor bless her, "Yes I did actually and as I've said previously on the subject," at this point I whispered a spell directing my wand at her under the table, "I LIKE BIG MEN IN TIGHT PANTS."
That's the ticket, now my revenge was complete. I'd collapsed into a laughing fit with Frank snapping out of his love haze to join me along with the rest of the Great Hall. In my state I couldn't take the spell off of an increasingly red Cor who was currently looking at me with a death stare.
"YOU LITTLE, COME HERE YOU'RE ABOUT TO JOIN MOANING MYRTLE IN HER BATHROOM STALL!", she was yelling various obscenities but before she could chase me around the Great Hall McGonagall stepped in. I received the detentions I knew I would, but now Cor was joining me for one of them thanks to her foul mouth.
She got over the embarrassment quick enough after thwacking me on the head and returning to eating, but the guys around us were making rather interesting remarks all involving tight pants. Interestingly enough Wood was certainly looking over at her in interest, so my stunt benefited the both of us I'd say.
Yeah crap ending I know but I didn't realize I had most of this already written and was just being a bum about posting it so tada! Please do review and tell me your thoughts.