Title: Couch Devils
Characters: Dante, Tess (oc), Magda (oc)
Word Count: 1,396
Summary: Cold evenings and blankets have this amazing way of drawing people together.
Warnings: Mild language, disproportionate amounts of cute.
Disclaimer: Devil May Cry and all related characters belong to Capcom. Original Characters belong to me.

It had just been a silly incident back when they were teenagers and lived in the boarding house; recalling it made both of them smirk and sometimes dissolve into chuckles that often left others puzzled. It was one of their jokes, something only they understood, a funny memory of a time when they were both a little more innocent.

The building was old and the heating system always got cranky and refused to work properly at times, leaving them all freezing. It wasn't such a big issue for him, since he usually just threw on an extra shirt and felt fine. But for her, it was a completely different story. Dante could swear that Tess was half-cat, the way she desperately looked for warm places to huddle against.

One of those chilly evenings, she had resorted to dragging a blanket from her upstairs room to the common lounge on the ground floor. Although each had their own rooms, they still found the common lounge room-and-kitchen a better place to hang out and watch television or muck around, particularly occupying the oversized sofa that dominated the space in front of the television set. He nearly laughed out loud when he saw her coming in the lounge, carrying the dark purple blanket, then plopping onto the couch and wrapping it around herself and over her shoulders contently. The redhead serenely ignored his teasing and snuggled in her blanket to watch the late-night marathon that was running on television at the time.

He scoffed at her pleased look. "What, you're cold Twig? It's not that bad."

"Oh, shove it," she replied. "You'd feel comfortable out in the Arctic Circle."

"Pffft, unlike you. You get all whiny when it starts getting a little cold. What are you gonna do when the real winter kicks in, huh? Go into hibernation?"

"Shut up," she fired back at him.

He just chuckled and returned his attention to the TV screen. About an hour passed like that, with Dante or Tess occasionally going to the kitchen and grabbing a drink or a snack, or making some comment on what they were watching. They weren't keeping track of time, but around 10:00 pm, Dante was starting to feel the cold getting uncomfortable even for him.

"Hey, Twig," he said suddenly. "Gimmie a side of that blanket."

She stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, so now you're getting cold? Forget it, this blanket's not big enough for two people," she said, squirming and returning her attention to the TV again.

Dante frowned. "Tch, come on Twig! Don't be a tight-ass!" he said, reaching over and tugging one of the blanket's edges.

Tess tugged back. "Cut it out, go get your own!" she snapped.

Dante didn't let go, getting a fistful of the material and yanking it towards him, making her fall towards him. "Quit being such a shrew, just let me have the half-"

Tess struggled, grabbing the other half of the blanket. "I said, it's not big enough!" she hissed, tugging back.

"Just stop tugging it!"

"No, you stop!"

They scuffled around for a couple of moments, neither of them relenting, shouting insults at each other and even launching a few rogue kicks at each other's sides until they heard a small tearing sound coming from the blanket, at which point both stopped. Tess inspected the blanket and showed him a small tear on the seams of the edge they were both pulling. It wasn't something that couldn't be repaired, but it still upset her.

"Ugh, look what you did with your pulling," she huffed.

"My pulling? You're the one who clamped that thing like a gator!" he scoffed.

"Yeah well, it is my blanket after all," she huffed, pulling it towards her, in a pile on her lap.

"Hey, come on, give me a side, it's freakin' cold," he insisted, reaching for it again.

She glared and pulled it away, but then shuffled closer to him. "Fine. We'll share, but we have to sit close. It's not big enough."

Dante smirked. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," he teased, chuckling as she nearly growled at him while they pulled the fuzzy blanket over their shoulders, squeezing closely together.

Tess was slightly apprehensive about the whole thing in the beginning and sulked, but as they were more concentrated on the series they were watching, she got distracted, and forgot about her irritation. Eventually, due to them both being comfortable, they started leaning on each other, Dante absently putting one arm around her shoulders and letting her rest up against him so they could wrap the remainder of the blanket around them better. Their mood improved enough for Tess to crack some jokes.

"God I love that guy," she giggled, watching the protagonist do a signature 'sunglasses on' move.

"Why? He doesn't really do anything, it's just the sunglasses," Dante protested. "He's cheesy."

Tess giggled. "That's why I love him. He's cheesier than anything you'll ever say."

Dante smirked. "Oh, so you like it when I'm cheesy?" he asked, teasingly.

She just snickered and poked his side with her elbow.

After a while the marathon began airing episodes of the series they both had seen, causing them to gradually lose interest, while the warm, comfortable position made them both a little drowsy. Which of the two succumbed to sleep first was impossible to tell, since they both drifted off without realizing it.

A couple of hours later, Tess' strict and old-fashioned grandmother, Magda, returned to the boarding house after a certain errand she had to conclude. She was never particularly partial to Dante staying in the building and although she took care of and provided for her, she abused Tess verbally because of the girl's defiance. She heard the noise of the television in the lounge room and after taking her coat off, wandered in to see what was going on. She stopped right beside the sofa, her eyebrows bowing up into her wrinkled forehead, her eyes peeling in shock and her lips pinching together in absolute indignation.

Being asleep and having Tess resting against him had caused Dante to 'slide' along the back of the cough and to the side, making him eventually lie on his back lazily, oblivious to the change. His right arm was hanging off the edge of the sofa while the other was still lying over Tess' back. Tess had 'pancaked' on him, her cheek pressed against his abdomen while her chest was practically pressing on his crotch, as she was lying between his legs in a completely slothful manner. They were both sleeping for good and weren't aware of the hilarity of their position.

Magda however, did not appreciate it all and started shouting.

"What are you two doing? Wake up! Tess-get off him! What are you doing?" She barked, storming over to them and yanking the blanket off them.

The two of them were both so startled that they woke up abruptly with small shouts and flailing, tried to get up at the same time, just resulting in them both falling off the sofa and onto the floor.

"What is the meaning of this?" Magda snapped, furious and glaring at Tess.

"Grams-wha? What the hell happened?" Tess blurted. She'd fallen on the floor on her butt.

Madga looked like she was out of her mind with fury. She glared at Dante, like she felt it was his fault. "What have you been doing?" she snapped.

Dante recovered from his shock and sat up, rubbing his head. "We didn't do anything!"

"Jeez Grams!" Tess grumbled, pulling herself up onto the sofa. "We just fell asleep! What, is that a crime now?"

"You were piled on each other!" Magda hissed, glaring at both, as if she was implying something bigger.

"Pffft, it's not like anything happened! That was just practice!" Dante scoffed, getting up and dusting his pants down. "Honestly, Tess, you could use the practice," he added, smirking at Tess slyly and then making a quick escape out the lounge, to avoid Magda's furious screaming at his reply. The old witch actually followed him a couple of steps, cursing and stopping at the doorway. That allowed Tess to also flee, making her escape through the kitchen's door leading out back. They met in the back yard of the boarding house later, glaring at each other for a couple of moments before dissolving into chuckles over the whole matter.

NOTE: This story is a throwback to the Omakes I used to write back for Frail Equilibrium, at the end of each chapter. I was happy that people appreciated them and it was a way for me to counter the serious writing work by writing a very silly little scene at the end. Some of those weren't very good, frankly, but some of them turned out to be about as good as the story itself and were appreciated by readers.

So this here little story is a thanks to the readers who appreciated those little stories enough to comment on them as much as they did on the actual story.