Title: Watching
Author: heeroluva
Pairing: Jim/Bones
Contains: h/c, angst
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.
Summary: Jim and Bones watch over each other on the trip back to Earth.
Notes: Written for medie. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.
Jim didn't remember most of the trip back to Earth. Emotional and physically drained, and suffering from numerous unattended injuries (which Bones bitched about as he fixed again), when Jim was finally able to sleep, he shut down for almost twenty four hours. When he finally awoke again, groggy and sore, he felt more alive than he had in weeks. Bones was sitting in a chair next to his bed, head tilted at an uncomfortable angle in his sleep. Jim had never seen Bones look so old or worn. Dark bags hung heavily under his eyes, several days growth shadowed his jaw, and his skin was pale. He wondered how much sleep the other man had gotten since his impromptu promotion to Chief Medical Officer amid a warzone.
The blow to the medical bay had been a bad one, and they'd lost a large chunk of the medical staff. In the end they'd resorted to recruiting anyone with more than basic medical training to help. Jim knew the surgery on Pike had taken over seventeen hours, and Bones hadn't slept who knows how long before that surviving on energy shots. Jim instantly felt guilty at that, not having thought to relieve his friend. But he knew even if he had, the doctor wouldn't have listened, wouldn't have rested unless Jim had him thrown in the brig. As tempting as the prospect was, Jim would never do that to Bones.
Sitting up with a groan, Jim's bladder suddenly made itself known. Jim quickly tugged on Bones, pulling him into bed. The older man didn't even wake, just curling into the warm space Jim had left behind. Making quick use of the restroom, Jim also stole a quick shower, glad to wash away the grime, and feel like he was closer to the land of the living. Returning to his room, he noted that Bones hadn't moved from his spot, sleeping like the dead.
As tempting as it was to climb back into bed, he had things he needed to do, reports he needed to read and write, meetings to tend to. He needed to apologize to Spock as well, a conversation that he wasn't looking forward to. He was an asshole at times, but that was too much even for him. As plans went, it wasn't one of his better ones, but Jim was desperate and short on time, needing to hit hard and dirty. And he had. He never wanted to cause that look on another's face again, and he'd rather avoid the life and death fight with a Vulcan again.
Looking at the time, he was surprised to notice how much time had passed and having a quick meal from the replicator, he decided that he'd done enough to deserve a nap. Bones still hadn't moved which worried him a little. After years of sharing a small dorm room with him, Jim knew what a restless sleeper the doctor was. It was strange to see him so still. Climbing in next to Bones, Jim hesitantly shook his shoulder. "Bones?"
Bones' eyes barely cracked open and a muffled, "What?" escaped his mouth from its placed buried in the pillow.
"You okay?" Jim asked, but Bones was already asleep again. That was fine. Jim let him sleep, knowing he needed it. The magnitude of what had happened in these past short weeks still astounded him. The loss of Vulcan was a tragedy that he didn't have words for, a slaughter that he could barely comprehend. He couldn't imagine how Spock felt, couldn't imagine what it would feel like if they had arrived too late to save Earth.
Worst yet was the thought of losing Bones. If Jim hadn't been there, if he hadn't woken up when he had, they'd have all been dead. It was a scary thought. Weaving his fingers through Bone's hair, pulling him close, Jim couldn't imagine what he'd do without the doctor that had become his best friend so quickly and eventually his lover. Bones had fixed him up, so many times over the years, done so much for him. And Jim had never once thanked him, taken it all for granted.
It wasn't much, but he could do this: hold him close and watched over him as he slept. It wasn't much, but it was all he could give, and Jim hoped it was enough.