Control the Storm Collection
Story 3

Title: Will Someone Ever Look at Me That Way?

Author: Catherine Grissom

Rating: Still T.

Summary: I thought that I knew ev'ry single, Look and sweet expression on his face, Yet this is one that I don't recognize…

Warnings: Mention of sex. SLIGHT ToukoxAmon and AmonxRobin.

Disclaimer: I still don't own WHR. Sunrise and Bandai still do. Song is property of whoever wrote Yentl.

A/N: This story takes place entirely in the first 10 episodes. Explicit references to episodes: 4, 5, and 10. If you don't believe me about Robin's kicked puppy look, check episode 6. This was written late at night because I'm an idiot who hasn't figured out that foreign horror movies at two in the morning are very bad things. Make of that what you will.

Inspired by Audra McDonald's rendition of 'Will Someone Ever Look at Me That Way?' from Yentl.

Touko had known Amon for a long time. Longer, she was willing to bet, than even his coworkers. Of course, she still didn't know the man's full name, but something told her that there was only one living person who did, and he wouldn't be telling anyone anytime soon.

Touko wasn't sure how she would have classified their relationship. It wasn't love, though she had wished that at some point it could have grown to that. It wasn't lust, though occasionally, in weaker moments, it was a factor. It wasn't really a friendship: they turned to each other simply because they didn't know who else there was to turn to.

She would admit that, late at night, when he had stayed long enough to hold her as she slept, she felt protected, safe in a way that not even her father's presence had ever caused her to feel. He was so…She hesitated to use the word 'wholehearted'…Perhaps 'dedicated' was better. Dedicated to his work, to the organization, to what he felt was his purpose, or rather the only purpose that he allowed himself, and sometimes, when he allowed himself the time to breathe, to her.

Amon was an attentive lover, an attentive listener, though he'd deny it. He always seemed to know when she was upset, often he even knew why. She was startled to find that somewhere along the way she'd gained similar insight into him.

She'd first noticed at Harry's one night, having overheard whispers of "Too close. She's getting too close," from her father and sighs of "She's getting dangerous," from her- from Amon. He'd been sitting at the bar, as per usual, drink in front of him, as per usual, casting only sparse glances her way, as per usual. His posture had been guarded, face closed off: entirely what she'd expected. She'd made some lame attempt at conversation - she couldn't even recall what now - and he'd looked at her, and she'd had to swallow around a sudden lump in her throat. Something in his eyes was screaming.

A week later, he'd appeared at her door, disheveled and bleeding. She'd panicked at first, ushering him into the living room, telling him to wait, just a moment, she'd be back, she just had to find the first aid kit and then she'd be back, just wait, just for a moment…

He'd cut off her ramblings with an authoritative "Touko, stop," and, cowed, she'd sat next to him. Amon hadn't said a word after that; hadn't needed to.

There was no playful roughhousing, as there was when they'd had maybe a bit too much to drink. There was no dominating power game, as there was when he'd had a rough day, or week, or however long. In fact, there hadn't actually been sex of any kind, and yet…Touko could say with all honesty that that night, a night where she'd simply held him, whispered nothings into his hair as he pressed his face into her neck and tried to reassure himself that he could still feel something, that he hadn't lost himself behind the mask, was the most intimate that they'd ever shared.

There had been no more whispers, no more sighs about that mysterious, dangerous, too close 'she'.

Touko learned to read everything in his eyes: annoyance at her choice of restaurant, frustration at a case, worry over his younger coworkers. The last one had become more frequent, especially in recent weeks.

However, along with the worry, and frustration, and annoyance, there was something new. Touko didn't bother trying to fool herself that it had nothing to do with her new roommate. It had everything to do with the girl. There was amusement as he told of Robin's stubborn insistence that there was nothing wrong with her eyes, a hint of pride as he relayed details of Robin's little adventure in a park, even a touch of wonder as he spoke of Robin calming another hunter during an attack.

Touko supposed jealousy would have been the proper response, but…After seeing her roommate come home for the umpteenth time looking utterly defeated, she wondered if it would be so bad for Amon to let his guard down around the girl. At least then she'd be spared the kicked puppy look Robin was so very proficient at.

But Amon wouldn't. He couldn't, not while he was still...carrying on whatever relationship it was that they shared. And so, Touko found he became more guarded around her, pulling away the instant he found himself revealing anything.

So, really, she wasn't surprised to hear his voice on the other end of the line. She wasn't surprised to hear that he was ending it.

"Do you think you'll be able to tell her, now?" she asked, honestly curious.

She wasn't surprised to hear a terse, "Nothing to tell," before a dial tone.

Closing her own phone, Touko stared at it for a moment. Her vision rippled and she closed her eyes, ignoring the moisture that fell from them. Nodding, she rose to put a kettle on: tea before bed would be lovely.

No, she wasn't surprised at all, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.