His palms were sweaty as he followed the large TV the guards were wheeling in before him, hating this idea but they were running out of time and he wanted to know, one way or another how this would end.

"I'm not sure either of us will like the answer, but eleven days in, I'm willing," Near had said an hour ago.

And here he was, that familiar hall opening up before him as the TV was stopped before the cell, the rustle of chains as Light shifted. Soichiro forced himself forward, taking the remote and thanking the men who left him there alone, barring Ryuk who drifted back into a corner.

"Looking for bonding time?" Light asked, amused, sitting on his small cot, his clothes just as pristine as ever.

It was a terrible thought that he was undressed and cleaned under armed guard frequently because his chains would be loosened and he would be seen as a risk. An idea that was hard to rectify with the image of his little boy chasing his sister around in the park down the street from their first house.

"Not that I'm complaining. It isn't exactly comfortable sitting here in near silence wondering when they'll just come in and shoot me."

"Try not to engage him," Near had instructed as they prepared earlier "Just ignore what he says and say what you are there to say. Don't let him lead you down a different path, make him listen to you."

It was advice he was already intimate with and should already know but it didn't hurt hearing it repeated because of how beyond the pale this situation was. Pointing the remote, not giving an answer, he turned it on and flipped to a channel that he knew had continuous coverage right now, unmuting it.

"Reports are still pouring in over multiple claims of the death of a condemned prisoner allegedly mercy killed by Kira in recently leaked footage. Some are pointing out that this is bringing a spotlight to certain areas of the world, others claiming that Kira should have struck down his jailors and not the man sentenced for what most would not consider a crime. There has been a loud response of people asking for this more if these people cannot be saved –"

Looking up, letting the sound become background noise, he saw the mirth falling away from Light, actual worry in those eyes before Light suddenly laughed.

"What's funny?" Soichiro asked, not certain he wanted an answer.

"You want me to think you used the book." Light shook his head, rising as he paced, his chains rattling more. "That you carried out your threat and actually killed someone."

"You don't believe it?" In a way, he shouldn't be surprised. "You think I wouldn't go this far."

"L messed with broadcasts," Light challenged, watching him. "Remember? He played tricks to both mislead Kira and the public. You're with someone that thinks he's the real deal. Of course, he would take the same play. It's not a bad one, just that it's already been done."

In silence, Soichiro flipped to another channel, then another, then another, watching uncertainty grow in Light. If, in his madness, Light proclaimed they had staged this story, there wasn't a way for him to overcome that, even if they showed the raw footage. Maybe, if Near had footage of them writing and then waiting for the man –

"I watched him die, Light. Just the way it was written, he laid down and died on command."

Light was staring at him now. "What did you do?"

"What I said I was going to do. Test the rule you didn't want to be tested." Soichiro took a breath, dragged it in and out as he looked over at Ryuk. "And I would guess the one about burning it is false, too, that we can do that without fear of death."

"Why?" Light had walked forward till he was stopped by the length of the chain, tugging at it uselessly. "Why did you do this?"

Licking his lips, Soichiro made himself look at his son, knowing that his worst fears were coming true. He was amazed he still had them after he finally found a way to see Light as Kira.

"What will be your downfall is that I wasn't the one to write in the book." Soichiro paused, watching Light open and close his mouth, unable to push out a sound. "I knew you would be banking on that, Near did, too. It's a failsafe, Light, so if I die exactly thirteen days after the man we killed, we'll know not only is the rule false but that you're guilty. If no one dies, we know it's false. There isn't a way out, anymore."

"All of this is a setup. You have nothing so you want to convince me that you have everything in order to extort a confession. It's police procedure."

Not that his son was wrong but Soichiro had to ignore it as he pressed on, muting the TV all the way.

"I've been trying to figure out if you actually planned on me dying."

"How- how could you say that?"

"Light," he said, not being able to hide his voice breaking. "I believe you set it up so I would die to prove it, that you've known this was a real possibility for a while. That you've known I've had growing suspicions before we ever got to this point. I'm not sure you ever planned on me making it out alive, let alone past the thirteen days when you thought I'd kill Mello. It's been months, you've been stuck dodging me for months, hiding pictures and yourself so that you don't give away more than you already have. How much stress have you been under, watching everything you said, judging everything you did before you did it so that it wouldn't get worse?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"There is so little left I can do for you but I meant what I told you, I still love you." He made himself stop, swallowing back his grief as Light's face was close to shattering. "I'm trying to forgive you. Thousands upon thousands are dead now. I'm sure you had Misa killing for you. She doesn't remember, you made sure of it, but she remembers you telling her to go to the woods when L released her. She thinks she never did, which means she got the other notebook. That you planned L's death –"

"You don't know what you're saying!" Light was enraged, pulling at his chains, agitated and restless, his composure gone. "You have no idea of anything. You just decided I was guilty because you didn't want to do this anymore, face what's happened."

"Turning you in was the hardest thing I've ever done. Your mother and sister – I don't know what will happen to them. Misa – she doesn't know anything anymore but she's still guilty. Whoever you picked to kill in your name is still killing and my name is going to be in that book soon. I'm sure you gave instructions, a just in case because you plan, Light. You always did, you always looked ahead and I can't figure out why you decided this was the right path."

Light turned away from him, his breathing heavy, not answering and Soichiro turned off the TV.

"Your world, the one you convinced yourself was real, isn't justice, Light. Injustice is always going to exist. The man we killed still existed, thousands more exactly like him keep existing. You can't murder your way past the evil in the human heart. In the end, you just became what you claim you hated, and I can't tell if you hate me enough to let me die this way."

Not being able to stand being here anymore he walked down and banged on the door, the guard letting him through a minute later, Ryuk forever his shadow.

~x~

Thirty-six hours. That was all that was left and that was the maximum if the person Light had chosen kept his time of death in sync with the prisoner down to the time zone. In reality, it may be much less.

Sleep had ceased to come, an unwilling acceptance that soon it wouldn't matter.

"I don't want to make it worse," Sachiko had told him earlier. "I want to see him, ask him to undo this if he is guilty but I fear he'd let it continue out of spite."

Through the doors in front of him was the outer area of the cell blocks, the stations that housed the guards and all their monitoring equipment. A part of him wanted to see if Light was at all distressed, if he was upset or just calmly sitting, waiting for him to die or for Mr. K to die, or for nothing at all.

Each time he tried to move forward he found himself unable to, afraid of what he would find.

"Yagami-san."

Turning, his bleary eyes struggling to focus, he saw Aizawa standing a couple of feet away.

"Ryuk again?"

Aizawa laughed. Soichiro believed it would have been cheerful if everything wasn't screaming down on top of them.

"No, for once. We were leaving and may be gone a while. We wanted…" Aizawa seemed at a loss for words.

Because I may not be alive by the time you return.

"Your wife told us you were down here," Aizawa continued after a moment, a tense pressure seeming to build in him. "Were you going to see him?"

"No. I just – I was thinking about looking at the monitors."

I want to know if he is still human, has any emotion at all.

Soichiro tried not to focus on the idea of L in Light's arms, of all the deaths Light had caused, of which ones he had watched. Light had killed L twice, in theory, the first time being the condemned prisoner and he banished the idea of Light sitting at home, watching TV, and simply murdering a man because he called Kira evil.

Nodding, Aizawa turned a little taking a few steps away towards a small cluster of chairs with a table set in the corner. Perhaps a waiting area designed for interrogators or visitors. Soichiro was uncertain, not that it mattered now. It felt like he had squandered the last few weeks of his life with this, was still wasting his last few precious hours with his indecision, his inability to witness what had become of his son.

"I want it to be a lie, all our theories. I want us to be wrong." Aizawa had a strange calmness to him that warned of the coming storm, his face still mostly turned away. His clothing was more wrinkled than normal, his tie had been pulled down a little and his face worn as though he had aged in the past day. "I don't want Near's man to die, but I want everything Light claimed, to be true. I want this to be a mind game instigated by Mello and padded by Ryuk and in a few hours we'll be able to move on even though the cost was too high."

"I know."

Aizawa shifted on his feet, his head tilted back. It outlined his throat, the loud swallow, as though all of this could be forced back for a while longer.

"We trusted him. Not just with this case, not just with our lives, but with the lives of other officers, of their and our families." Aizawa's voice was a hiss, unguarded and unchecked as his fingers curled at his sides. "All of this, if it's real, means that he used us from the start. That he wheedled his way in, used everything we had, your position, what we gave him, to do whatever he wanted. And now – now –"

The sound was loud, Soichiro in his fatigue had barely registered that Aizawa had grabbed one of the chairs and thrown it against the wall hard enough that there were noises of splintering wood and he saw a dent in the plastering, flakes cascading.

Shaking, he didn't know what to say as Aizawa put a palm against the damaged wall as if to steady himself as the door into the cell block opened.

"Are you alright?" a man asked, eyeing them and the wreckage of the chair.

"I apologize," Aizawa mumbled. "I'll pay for the damages,"

"No need, as long as you don't have a whole wake of it." The man shifted his attention to Soichiro who tried to find focus, to at least look put together enough to exist in this world. "Are you here to see him?"

Words wouldn't come at first, his mind uncertain about his final decision, his mouth moving a few times before he settled on, "No."

A pause and Soichiro wished he could see more than just the eyes under the covering, unsure whether to feel anger over being pitied or disgusted by compassion that shouldn't be spent on him.

"He's restless, agitated, as though he can't be still," the guard told him. "I'll have someone by to clean this up."

The door was closing, time felt as though seconds were missing, a blink and things were different, like a film skipping. Aizawa looked back at him but Soichiro knew to not have hope over the news that had been given.

"I know him. More than likely he is creating his excuses, his rationale, for why this is the way it is, why it happened. Why it is my fault."

"Do you really think it would be that easy for him?" Aizawa frowned, turning more towards him. "Because I feel like if he could just kill you, he would have had you die of your injuries as soon as he thought you would be a problem."

Soichiro stared at the floor, the white tiles flecked with something, a glare against his dark shoes, the lights forever shining in this building and he longed to go out, not die in this place.

Before this moment, he had felt he should lie down in a few hours, save them from a collapse or a slumped body or any number of distress scenarios his brain had come up with over and over again. It had been discussed – writing his own name down – but it was feared that anything could happen. If something changed, if they found the man or were wrong, he would be merely condemning himself to die in twenty-three days. Albeit painlessly, but it was still high risk no matter the hopelessness that curled inside, pushed out all the life in him till he felt as if he was already a hollow husk awaiting his internment in the earth.

In the end, it doesn't matter if it's easy for him or not if the outcome is the same.

"I was considering asking them if it would be alright if I went outside," he said, ignoring Aizawa's last statement because there was no room left in him for faith. "It's been so long."

"Do you want me to have them send a message to Near?"

He nodded and Aizawa slipped through the door. Soichiro wouldn't doubt the man was relieved to have a focus that wasn't him for even a minute as he waited. Even the pain that had grown and spread over the past days was a distant thud as if it couldn't be bothered.

It felt like it had been under a minute when Aizawa came back but he doubted it was that short, the officer coming closer.

"They said they'll come to get all of you at dawn," was the soft answer and Soichiro wanted to protest as that felt so far away. "It's twenty to one in the morning, Yagami-san."

"Ah," he managed. Time had ceased being important to him a while ago, outside of counting down the remaining hours of his life. "We should go back then."

They were silent and Soichiro didn't think there were words to say to this, nor did he want to ask Aizawa if he had seen Light, ask what his condition was. As far as he knew, Light hadn't said a word since he had seen him and told him the truth about the rule testing. He had been told that Light had refused his meal but it meant so little. His son had starved himself before while murdering, it fit that he would do so again.

He wondered what lie Light would tell himself in the wake of all his, what convoluted tale his mind would make up in order to cope in a few hours. Perhaps, that he had been set up, that he was innocent and the real murderer was still out there. He could hear Light's voice in his mind, pleading about the presence of the current Kira, that he had begged his father not to do this, that he had no way of influencing any of this.

It had been the tale he had come up with during his first confinement according to L who told him of the troubling change later. Somehow, it was a story that had made sense in Light's head no matter how it would have crippled Kira to operate, at least until Light was executed. Perhaps, his son could never face even the hint of the possibility that he forged himself into a monster.

I wonder what he told the one that now kills in his name. Maybe that I betrayed Kira, doubted, threatened everything, and must be made an example of -

No, I would think it more likely he would paint me as an attention seeker, that I would go after Kira's power to prove a point and kill that condemned man in Kira's name. That I must be put down so that others fell in line with Kira's will. It makes far more sense that way. And he has pictures of me, it would be easy to hand that over with a book in a faceless meeting with a true believer. And it would have to be a true believer given the amount taken each day. I wonder if Light gave over names or had the man prepare, to be ready for his role as Light squirms and tries to find a way to slip away again.

Soft voices and he looked up, seeing their door partially open. Matsuda being emotional was not a surprise to him, but the quiet grief of Mogi and Ide was palatable. They stood as Sayu and Sachiko sat at the table, not enough chairs for so many and he went to sit by his wife.

"Near is going to come to get you to go outside at dawn if you still wish to go," Aizawa told them and he saw his wife nod, struggling to hold herself from breaking.

"It is good you have your warm coat," she told him, voice thick and slow. "I'm sure they won't mind if we bring a blanket."

"I doubt they would," Ide said. "They probably have more if you need them."

Soichiro took his wife's hand, grateful that she understood that he may not return here, depending on when it happened.

"It's been an honor –" Mogi was saying when Sayu suddenly pushed herself back, angry, her dark eyes even darker by the shadows of her restless nights.

"Don't say that," she ground out, standing and Soichiro feared she was close to breaking, trying to think of what to do for her. "Don't come here and act like he is already dead."

"Sayu –" Aizawa started but she backed up a few steps, shaking her head.

"No. Everyone is assuming, planning like it is already done. I can't. We're just sitting here when he's out there somewhere, and I can't – I can't,"

She took several steps, Ide moving to try to intercept her but she was too fast, whispering no, her face a mess of so many things laid bare in this second as she escaped out in the hallway. Matsuda was the closest to her as Soichiro got back up, Sachiko in front of him when he heard it.

It was a wail, close to a scream, loud and long that felt like it dug into his heart, ripped apart his insides with its sorrow.

Matsuda was holding her as she wept, hands clawing at him as her legs gave out, Ide close and helping them both to the floor. Matsuda whispered something to her and when he looked up, Soichiro had to look away from the despair there. Sachiko stopped herself from going over, staying beside him as Mogi quietly said they should give them a minute.

Soichiro rubbed his forehead, sinking back into the chair he had just vacated, his wife beside him with her hand on his shoulder.

"Did you see him?" she asked and Soichiro stared at the table, feeling numb, as though there was nothing left of him.

"I did, for a minute," Aizawa offered. "He was restless, as though he didn't want any part of himself to be still but we shouldn't take that as any sign of guilt."

"I want to be wrong. I want all of us to be insane over what you say is the truth."

"I know," Aizawa said. "We all do. Anything in our power to give you is yours."

Sachiko didn't answer and Soichiro felt her press her face into his hair and he reached up, wrapping his arm around her, not caring who was there to see something so intimate.

There was no one that could give his wife what she truly wanted and he felt a slow drag as he swallowed, trying not to think of that night in the hospital as she cried out for their daughter that never had a chance.

I'm leaving her to face this again, worse than the last by far. We'll know, his lies will be ended, the other will be found eventually, we know how it works but she may not survive this.

With a good deal of strength, he didn't know he had, he pushed away the memory of his wife begging for her child and then the lifelessness in her eyes in the weeks that followed years ago.

Sayu was still crying but she had quieted some as she was brought in, her arms around herself, head half down. Soichiro almost suggested they take her outside but feared she would bolt, try to find this Kira herself if they did.

"Why don't you get some rest? It's a few hours yet till dawn," Aizawa said gently. "We'll be back."

It was a better way to put this as his officers left, closing the door behind them as Sayu stood beside him, agitated as she shifted her weight on the balls of her feet.

"Papa, I'm sorry, I –"

"Don't be sorry," he told her as Sachiko moved away from him to go make up the loveseat, where Sayu had stayed last night. "He's right. None of us have rested at all."

She bit her lip but nodded, seeming doubtful but she went, Sachiko helping her as Soichiro followed. Sayu laid down on her side, blanket laid across her as he managed to sit down on the coffee table that sat in front of the little couch. Reaching out he brushed the hair out of her face, a few tears still falling, her eyes red-rimmed.

"I never blamed you," he told her, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Ever, for any of this. I want you to remember that."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too. Rest now. We'll be up in a few hours."

She closed her eyes as he pushed himself up, his body aching. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, to ask her to live, to not let this bury her but he didn't think she would hear him, that it would only upset her. Instead, he joined Sachiko in bed, just under the comforter, his wife facing him on her side in the dim light of the room as he put an arm around her.

In a testament to Sayu's exhaustion, he heard her light snores, what Light had once jokingly called dainty when she was congested and he kissed Sachiko's forehead.

"A couple of days ago I wrote her a letter. It's in with my papers, if it happens, when she's ready – " he couldn't finish and knew he didn't have to as Sachiko's hand curled tighter against him.

"It's not just losing you. It's what it means."

"I know.

He held her close, her breath hot against him as he closed his eyes to at least alleviate their strain for a while, trying to clear his mind of a lifetime of memories and failing.

~x~

The man who had come to get them had been short on words, only that they were to come at once and Soichiro ached as he struggled to keep up with the fast pace. Sayu walked faster, grabbing the man's arm, her face fiery.

"Can't you see he doesn't go that fast?"

"Sorry." It was toneless but Soichiro realized it was just a simple habit, the pace slowed down a bit when they restarted.

They were being taken to Near, his wife and daughter on either side of him, noise filling the room and he thought it was Aizawa commanding when they entered. Looking up, he saw what was probably footage from a body cam, men in riot gear, their faces covered.

"We are with Aizawa-san's viewpoint," Near said, sitting in a chair, his leg drawn up, the other dangling off, mask in place.

"G is calling," a man yelled out.

"Put him on," Near said, listening for the tone that drowned out the officers on screen for a moment, Soichiro's eyes transfixed by the men getting ready. "Was it successful?"

"Yes. We have it."

"Are you sure it's the real one?"

"As sure as we can be. I don't know of a way to test it outside of the obvious, but it would be one hell of a forgery."

"Good. Secure it and return." Near reached over and picked something up. "Aizawa-san, we believe we found it."

"Copy that. We're ready."

"Go on your mark."

"Did they find the man?" Sayu whispered to him and Soichiro nodded.

"It sounds like it," he answered her, trying not to feel hopeful.

Given what they now knew, his name may have been written down days ago as a safeguard. Whatever his son had done, it may be too late to reverse as they waited, Aizawa falling silent and going to hand signals as they entered the building, the men under him lining up, battering ram moved forward.

A silent count and they broke the door, a flashbang deployed before them, muffled cries from inside and probably from neighboring apartments from the noise. The men filed in, Aizawa with his weapon drawn, rooms being searched before the yell: "Down on the ground! Get down on the ground, keep your hands where we can see them."

It was hard to make out through the constant movement that was almost sickening but he saw a man who was thin and tall, something familiar about him, like he knew him in passing, trying to place the name that barely registered with him as he was consumed by a whole other detail.

"There's no life span," he whispered, Near nodding without looking over.

"That's him. Aizawa-san, make sure he is thoroughly secured. We don't know if he made any deal."

"Mikami Teru, you are being taken into custody for acts of terrorism and murder," Aizawa was saying and Soichiro blinked.

"The prosecutor," he said, voice slow as the name finally slid into place in his mind, Near looking over at him. "That can't be."

"You know him?"

"I've met him a few times. He's – he's intense, had a very black-and-white view. I never found him pleasant but he won his cases. It's been a couple of years."

In a strange, sick way, Soichiro could understand how he ended up being a Kira supporter as he was restrained and hauled to his feet with his eyes covered, the rest of the men beginning the search for any remnants of evidence.

"Is this what you do?" Sayu asked and Soichiro looked at her, unable to determine if she was horrified or awed.

"It was mostly paperwork," he told her gently.

"Yes, it was the paperwork that gave you the knife wounds," Sachiko muttered under her breath and he suppressed a smile because that shouldn't be funny.

"We'll be at this a while," Aizawa said. "He has a lot of files and his own organization system."

"It would be better to bring all papers back here," Near replied. "Anything that can be moved should be. We've already caused enough commotion. The NPA will struggle to explain this as it is."

"Understood," Aizawa said and began barking out the orders.

"Is it over?" Sayu asked.

"I don't know yet," Near answered, leaning back, returning to playing with his hair. It was an almost hypnotizing movement.

They waited, listening to the bustle as Mikami's apartment was packed up, boxes and boxes being filled with papers and books, drawers pulled all the way out and dumped, searched for anything hidden.

"Mostly just casework, so far, but that doesn't mean there isn't something. He's really compulsive about certain things, so there may not be a trail directly here," Aizawa said.

The door opened and a couple of men joined them, bringing something to Near. Despite himself, Soichiro stood up and no one stopped him as the package was laid out on the large main counter. It was another book and as it was opened, he saw columns of names and times, each page with its own set date. So many of them in such a short amount of time.

"As far as we can tell, he filled up a page per day," the man, probably G, said as Near flipped through the pages. "We didn't see your name, Mr. Yagami."

It isn't a guarantee but – he cut off his thoughts as Near went to the end and they found the last entries for yesterday's date. Nothing was set beyond it yet.

"How – how did you find him?" he asked.

"Your son gave up his name."

A soft sound, it was Sachiko, Sayu pulling her into her arms where they still sat. Light had planned to have him killed and somehow couldn't. Perhaps, he had told this man to wait for a signal and write if it did not come, but as far as he knew he was spared and so was the man who wrote down the name.

He knew it couldn't save his son, as he stared down at the book of the dead.