"So what's wrong with you?" Nikki asked as she walked back over to the table and sat down opposite Ada, moving their mugs of hot chocolate onto the table and pushing the tray aside. There weren't many people in the cafe, mostly because of the bad weather and people not being bothered to leave their houses.
Instead of answering her friend Ada leant her elbows on the table and ran both hands through her hair, her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. Nikki didn't push her, knowing what it was like when something big had to be said and she knew that it didn't help when people rushed you. She leant her arms on the table and wrapped her hands around the hot mug before picking off one of the small marshmallows and eating it.
"I'm a week late"
Nikki quickly turned away from where she was staring out of the window at the falling snow outside and saw Ada looking forlornly at her, tears in her eyes. She sighed and reached across the table to take Ada's hand in her own, stroking it gently.
"Have you done any tests?"
"No" Ada whispered "I'm too scared. I thought that if I just ignore it then.."
"That won't work Ada, trust me" Nikki shook her head and Ada let out a quiet sob before taking a deep breath and nodding.
"I know. God we were so stupid" Ada sighed and ran her hand through her hair again. "We wanted to have sex but we didn't have any protection" she continued and Nikki sighed "We thought that it was only one time and there was only a small chance of this happening"
"Ada how stupid...you're not..you're not stupid Ada. You know it only takes one time. What were you thinking?" Nikki asked in a low voice, angry at her friend for being so immature. "Just for one round of sex?"
"I know" Ada sobbed as tears fell down her face "It was okay at the time and now...he doesn't know"
"God Ada" Nikki removed her hand from her friend's and ran them through her hair, leaning back against the chair and shaking her head. "Do you want it, if you are?"
"No" Ada shook her head quickly and looked up at Nikki "No I don't"
This hurt Nikki more than she let on but she just nodded, it was Ada's decision and she would go along with her friend.
"You can't tell anyone Nikki" Ada then begged, fear on her face "Please"
Despite her better judgement Nikki nodded. Ada was her best friend and she was going to be there for her.
"I promise. You have to do some tests though"
Ada nodded and wrapped her shaking hands around her mug, biting her lip and trying to ignore the disappointment written all across Nikki's face.
"Nice chat?" Harry asked Nikki as he kissed her on the cheek, his lover nodding as Ada walked into the living room and refused to look at the couple.
"Hmm, we're just going to check on the boys" Nikki told Harry "Ada hasn't seen them in a while"
"Donovan will need changing soon" Harry warned her as he let Nikki go "I changed Gabriel about half an hour ago"
"Okay" Nikki smiled and stole a sneaky kiss that had them both laughing quietly "We won't be long"
Ada followed Nikki quickly up the stairs and they walked into the couple's bedroom.
"You can use the bathroom" Nikki told Ada as she closed the door and nodded towards the bathroom. Ada hesitated however and sat herself down on the edge of the bed. "Ada it's not going to go away"
"I know" Ada snapped but Nikki ignored the tone as she went and checked on the twins who were still asleep. "It's just so difficult to.."
"Ada I know" Nikki sighed as she walked over and sat down next to her friend, wrapping one arm around Ada's shoulder as the other young woman rested her head on her shoulder. "The first time...you remember the first time I was pregnant? I didn't tell you until after..what I did?"
"Hmm"
"Doing that test was the hardest thing I did up to that" Nikki told her and Ada chuckled "Doing what I did after I found out I was pregnant was the most difficult thing I have ever done"
"But you had to do it?"
"Yes" Nikki nodded "Harry and I weren't ready for a baby then. But when we found out that I was pregnant again we were both extremely happy"
"But you wanted them" Ada told Nikki as she pushed away from her and stood up "I don't want it if I am..pregnant. I want you to promise me that you'll respect my decision about what I do and who I tell"
"I will" Nikki smiled slightly but she didn't promise "It's your life and I'm not about to start telling you how to run it"
"Thank you" Ada sighed and dug through her bag for the three tests that she had brought. "I won't be long"
Nikki nodded and turned to look at the Moses baskets as Ada walked into the bathroom and closed the door. She then stood up and walked over to just look at her babies, a smile crossing her face as she saw them looking so peaceful as they slept. Nikki couldn't imagine her life without them now and even the thought of someone not wanting a baby that they had created confused her.
She wasn't sure how long she stood just staring at her children but it must have been a few minutes because the next thing she knew the bathroom door was opening and Ada walked out, throwing the tests onto the bed and sitting down.
"Got to wait three minutes"
"Okay" Nikki nodded and looked back at her twins before sitting herself down on the end of the bed and glancing at Ada who had her back to her.
"You won't try and stop me from having an abortion will you?" Ada asked and Nikki shook her head.
"No. As I said it's your life and you can do what you want" Nikki told her "It doesn't mean that I agree with what you're doing, not after having Donovan and Gabriel. My morals have changed"
"What is it like?" Ada suddenly asked "An abortion?"
Nikki closed her eyes and took a deep breath, memories of her own one springing to mind and then the memories of how she had been afterwards.
"I don't want to talk about it" Nikki whispered "But it's not nice. It's the mental trauma as well. I...I started to self harm for a while after I had mine"
"I'm sorry" Ada bit her lip and shook her head "I shouldn't have brought it up"
"If you need to talk about it then I will try" Nikki assured her friend "I don't want you to feel as alone as I felt. I know I had Harry but he was as affected as I was. Well not as bad as me but it was still his baby"
"I don't want Adrian to know"
"That's fine" Nikki shrugged "But you might need him. I needed Harry more than I realised"
"Yes but I'm not you Nikki" Ada snapped and shook her head, turning to look at her friend "I'm not ready to be a mother yet. I can't be a mother yet because my own would kill me and I don't want to be a mother yet"
"Fine" Nikki shrugged as she stood up, one of the babies starting to cry "Just don't shout because you're waking my children up"
"Don't use that tone" Ada shook her head as Nikki reached down into the Gabriel's Moses basket and picked up the crying baby, Donovan still fast asleep "I know you don't condone what I have to do but remember that you've done it once before as well"
"And I regretted my decision" Nikki told her friend loudly before turning and soothing Gabriel who continued to cry "Ssh my darling, mummy's sorry for shouting" she murmured and kissed her son on the head, stroking his back gently through his babygrow. "But I wouldn't have got these two if I hadn't done what I did"
"Exactly. In a few years I will be ready to be a mother" Ada told Nikki, her friend hardly hearing her as she looked from Gabriel who was still crying at being woken up by their loud voices, to Donovan who was still sleeping soundly, undisturbed by their noise.
I'm going to explore the differences between Nikki and Ada sometimes in this fic, how Nikki was ready to be a mother and how Ada's not etc etc.
Thank you for all your reviews so far :D
xxx