Nikki stared blankly down at the baby in her arms, stroking his head gently as she heard the doctor speaking to them about Donovan's test results. Her little boy was deaf. Completely deaf. A tear slipped down her face but she refused to cry as she kissed Donovan gently on the head. As far as she was concerned it was a shock to realise that he couldn't hear, but he was still her son and he was still perfect.
"Nikki are you okay?"
She looked up at Harry and saw his concerned gaze as he placed one hand on her back. Nikki smiled and nodded, glancing at Dr John then back to her lover.
"I'm fine" she nodded, her smile growing "I'm actually fine now that I know either way. He's still perfect"
"Yes he is" Harry agreed and stroked Donovan's head gently. "How hard will it be? Raising a...a deaf child"
"Well as you're young parents it might be a bit harder, what with school and uni. But once you get the hang of it it'll be fine, just like having a child in general" Dr John told them and Harry smiled and nodded, stroking Nikki's back gently "I think it'll be easier for you because he's only a newborn and you can raise him in a way that is comfortable for you. Do either of you know any sign language?"
"No" Nikki shook her head and Dr John nodded as he stood up and walked over to the bookcase on the other side of the room, opening a drawer and pulling out a few leaflets. He then handed them to Harry who nodded his thanks.
"In a way it is easier to learn now because he's still a baby. If he had lost his hearing when he was older and had begun to talk then it would have been difficult for you all. You and your family have time to learn sign language and your other son can grow up learning it so it becomes natural to him as well"
"Will he ever hear?" Nikki asked quietly and Dr John shook his head.
"No, I'm sorry"
"No that's alright" Nikki sighed and shook her head as well, leaning down and kissing Donovan's forehead gently as she closed her eyes and breathed in his comforting smell. "You're still perfect by darling"
"We have to tell everyone" Nikki murmured to Harry later that day as she sat curled up on the sofa wrapped up in a warm blanket and one of her lover's indoor jackets. She glanced over at Harry who was feeding Gabriel on the armchair and he nodded slightly. "How?"
"Well we just tell them that there were some side effects of Donny's illness" Harry replied "They'll understand, they'll probably want to learn sign language as well"
"They will" Nikki nodded and leant her head on the back of the sofa, staring absentmindedly at the brightly lit Christmas tree. "Is your mum coming round for Christmas?"
"No actually I was going to talk to you about that" Harry told her, glad that the subject was changed "She's going away for a few days with some of her friends she's got back in touch with and she won't be back until Boxing Day"
"Well that's okay" Nikki smiled "We can have our first Christmas with the boys together and then your mum can come round whenever she wants. But we still have to tell her"
"You know you took the news very well" Harry commented as Gabriel stopped feeding and his father took the empty bottle from him, moving the baby to his shoulder and rubbing his back gently.
"I think it was because I'd already accepted the fact that he's deaf" Nikki shrugged and smiled at her lover "We'll be fine"
"Yes we will" Harry nodded and smiled at Nikki before turning his attention back to Henry.
"Nikki can I talk to you?"
"Ada" Nikki smiled slightly as she opened the door a bit further and let her friend into the house. "Of course you can"
Ada smiled and nodded, walking over to the living room and missing the small headshake and warning look that Nikki gave Harry to warn him not to say anything about what she had revealed the night before about their friend.
"Hi Ada" Harry smiled and Nikki nodded towards the stairs "I have to go and change Donny" he then muttered and Nikki patted him on the arm as he passed the two women and closed the door behind him.
"What is it?"
"I..can you..."Ada took a deep breath and turned away from the Christmas tree "Can you come to the hospital with me?"
"When?"
"Tomorrow" Ada whispered and Nikki sighed "Please"
"No, I can't Ada"
"But you said.."
"I never said anything" Nikki interrupted and shook her head, ignoring the betrayal on Ada's face as she spoke "I just can't go Ada, not after mine. The guilt would...and I don't think I could watch you take those tablets knowing what you're throwing away"
"Nikki please" Ada begged her friend, tears on her cheeks and in her eyes "Please I can't do it on your own"
"Take Adrian then"
"He doesn't know" her younger friend told her hysterically and Nikki just shook her head again "Please"
"No" Nikki replied more forcibly, tears smarting her own eyes as she spoke "I can't Ada, I'm sorry but I can't"
"Fine" Ada snapped and made her way quickly towards the door before stopping and turning back to Nikki who refused to look at her. "Are you bringing the twins to the park this afternoon? I was asked to ask you"
"What time?"
"About two" Ada replied and Nikki nodded, still not looking up from where she was staring at Artemis who had bounded over and was playing with one of the toy mice next to Nikki on the floor.
"We'll be there"
"Well I'll...I'll tell them that then. Angela and Jurian have missed you both"
Nikki just smiled and pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, hearing a sob being muffled as Ada walked out of the room. She then heard the front door shut loudly and took in a deep breath, closing her eyes and forcing away her tears.
"What did Ada want?" Harry asked, making Nikki jump as she turned and saw her lover making his way into the room, Donovan in his arms. She forced away her tears and smiled slightly at him.
"She wants me to go to hospital tomorrow" Nikki replied, knowing Harry would realise what for.
"Are you?" Harry enquired, concerned for his fiancé as she shook her head.
"No, I can't" Nikki told him quietly, closing her eyes as Harry wrapped his free arm around her waist and drew her into his body, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "I can't see her do that"
"I think you made the right decision"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"She's..she's mad at me"
"She'll get over it in the end" Harry told his lover, hoping that he didn't sound too heard hearted. She only nodded and drew away from him slightly, smiling and pressing a kiss to Donovan's cheek as she wiped her face free from tears.
"I hope so" Nikki replied quietly and then looked up at him, her head still on his chest "Everyone's going to the park this afternoon, I said we'd go as well"
"I'd like that" Harry smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of Nikki's head "What time? Mum's coming round"
"About two o'clock at the park. Do we have to tell her?"
"Nikki" Harry sighed as Nikki pushed away from him and turned around to lean on the sofa. "We have to"
"Can't we just.."
"No Nikki. We have to tell her now because she's going to notice that something is wrong"
"There's nothing wrong with him" Nikki told Harry loudly, turning around to glare at him, tears smarting her eyes.
"I didn't mean it like that and you know it" Harry shook his head and Nikki sighed.
"I know, I'm sorry"
"It's alright"
"Have you read about the sign language classes?" Nikki asked him half an hour later as Harry walked over from where he had been standing in the doorway separating the living room and the kitchen and placed his hands on her hips. He nodded and Nikki looped her arms around his neck, giving him a small smile "And?"
"They're at the hospital every Saturday" Harry told her and smiled "And once the twins are older they can start going as well"
"What about when they go to nursery" Nikki frowned suddenly "Donny is going to need one that can cater for his deafness"
"Well I'm sure we can find one, Gabriel can go as well"
"We have so much to think about" Nikki sighed and ran her hands over her face "I know it's a while before they go to nursery and school but we need to think about it. What if there isn't a suitable school or nursery where we go to uni? Or..."
Harry cut Nikki off by pressing a kiss to her lips, successfully silencing her as she eagerly responded and looped her arms around his neck again, moaning quietly as Harry attempted to deepen the kiss. Nikki let him do it and he tightened his grip on her waist.
"I love you so much" Harry whispered against her lips before kissing her again.
"I love you" Nikki nodded as she broke away and stroked his cheeks gently, tears falling from her eyes "Thank you for everything you've given me"