sla1996, thanks for reading,* hands you this chapter for your fix.
kas19, I know, I love the idea of young and naïve Jax almost as I do my scruffy and broody Jax. Thanks for reviewing.
Belle, wow! Your comment really made my day and thanks for pointing out so much! I really put a lot of thought into the psychology of these characters and I'm glad it's showing through. I wanted to develop a real relationship for them, one that was intense and real. They reconciled after ten years! On top of that, they have all this other crap to deal with too, so you know that the foundations of their love had to have been really strong. I'm glad you're catching the little tidbits thrown in, I really want it to seem like this really could have happened and that my situations will support the show and shed some light on different situations. Keep reading, during chapter 1, we see that Gemma noticed that all Jax can talk about is Tara, but we'll start seeing how this developed into "I have to see you every second or I go crazy." And we'll delve into how the break up has left both parties and how they'll work out the situation. Cheers!
Chapter 4: It's All Routine
"Tara Knowles?" said a voice. Tara dropped the orange as she glanced up and met a pair of blue eyes…ones that were very familiar.
"Donna Gates?" said Tara, her face erupting into a gigantic smile. She took in the dark hair and pale skin. She looked older and a little worn out, but she was still the same girl she had met sophomore year at Charming High.
"Actually, it's Donna Winston now. Me and Opie got married, just after you left in fact," she said, although Tara noticed her eyes started to water when she mentioned Opie's name. "He's gonna come home soon, he's in prison, but he'll be out on parole in a few days." She smiled weakly, realizing that she had just blabbed too much.
"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry," said Tara, and she really was. She had known Opie for a long time and she knew that he was a gentle soul. She was more concerned for Jax; his best friend was locked up, but what of him? Was he in jail? Dead? Tara was too frightened to ponder the possibilities, but too nervous to ask. She was still raw, even ten years later.
Donna seemed to pick up on the unasked question, "Jax and the gang are doing well," she said. "We think his wife's expecting, but no word for sure." Tara dropped her orange and her basket and simply nodded as she ran out the store. She may have said some sort of strained goodbye to Donna, but she was too stung to be sure.
Donna followed her, finally realizing what had upset her. Tara had stopped in the corner of the store and she was breathing heavily, trying to fight back tears. Donna understood. She went up to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, a gesture of friendship and comfort that she hadn't been able to offer in ten years. They had never been more than casual acquaintances, perhaps tentative friends, but everyone in town had known that Tara was Jax's girl. Of course the news would upset her…but Donna didn't get to finish, correct herself, let her know that Wendy was messed up and that Jax still missed Tara; she was ready to explain it all and then a voice interrupted them.
"Donna?" It was Jax Teller.
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Jax had picked up Wendy from his house and was going to take her to the supermarket to stock up on "nutritional food." Her meth runs were fueled by Doritos and Red Bull and her cholesterol level was off the charts. She was twitchy and a little too grabby for his liking, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to upset her and send her on a crank binge. He really did care for Wendy. After Tara had left, he was completely broken. His daily routine had been completely flipped upside down and he was lost. Gemma was furious, cursing Tara to the very depths of Hell while simultaneously throwing throngs of women at him. He fucked his way through half the county and was still completely numb. The women were pathetic at first, trying to coax him into trying something more serious. He was never rude to them, breaking the news to them gently that club life didn't allow him to have the commitment they wanted. He couldn't tell them the truth: that he was completely broken and shattered and that tiny shards of his heart would never be put back together.
All because of Tara God Damned Knowles. He had been thinking about her a lot lately…too much, in fact. Couldn't scrape her image off his eyes, and she invaded his dreams every night, teasing him, making him hope that she would come back. He knew that she was probably married in a nice suburban neighborhood, popping out babies for some banker or something. The thought was too painful, and he couldn't function if he dwelled on it. So Jax did what he normally did. He fucked, drank, and smoked his way into numbness. The club encompassed his whole life, distracting him from the constant ache of Tara's absence. Too often he thought of eating his gun, it was always the unspoken elephant in the room of his mind. But that would be a coward's way out, and Jax Teller was no fucking coward. Besides, the club needed him.
Wendy had helped for a little while. He had come to the conclusion that he was lonely, and that maybe a companion would help him forget. He met her when he was twenty- six. He had established a new routine. Days at the garage, go home to Wendy, fuck her til she was tired, evenings at the club, gun runs, sleep, and then everything over again. Wendy eventually got tired of him being gone so often and it led to them fighting. More often than not, Jax was too exhausted to debate anything, and he spent his nights at the clubhouse. He didn't even notice when she started doing crystal meth, didn't really give a damn. Finally, the arguing had gotten to the point that Jax thought he might kill her for the things she said. So he left and filed for divorce. The bun in the oven was a product of Jax getting too damn drunk one night with no croweaters around, so he went knocking on her door. They had made love fiercely and when he climaxed he called out Tara's name. That wasn't the first time it happened. Wendy was furious and kicked him out. The divorce came when he was twenty nine.
Jax had been strolling along, taking all this information in when a familiar sight stopped him in his tracks. It was the cutlass. Her cutlass or so he thought. He walked by peaked in the windows, still not sure that it was hers. It was dusty and a little dirty, but still in the good shape he knew her dad kept it in. But he was still a little uncertain, not having seen the car in ten years…that is until he saw the shirt.
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"A new shirt?" he asked, holding up the crisp blue flannel. It was soft and one of his favorite colors. He had been dating Tara for almost the entire school year now and was curious as to why she would buy him a new shirt. Did she not like his clothes?
"Yeah, I know it's kinda old school, but I got it up in the mountains when I went on vacation. It's what real cowboys wear, or something like that," she said. She went to visit her uncle every now and then at his cabin in Wyoming. She had picked the shirt up as a souvenir and saved it for a special occasion, figuring now would be as good a time as any. "Do you remember how we first met?"
"Yeah, how could I forget, it was the first time you tried to murder me with a pencil," he laughed. "I love it, you know, I don't have stuff with long sleeves-''
"I know, that's why I got it for you. It's getting a little cooler now, and we don't want you to catch cold," she said playfully, wrapping her arms around his lithe frame. He eased up off her bed and wrapped her up in his arms. She loved the way he seemed to envelop her. It was never constricting, even when he was holding her almost painfully tight.
"I love it," he said, pushing their foreheads together so he could look straight into his eyes when he said it. Tara was always amazed at how cool his gaze was and how fast it would turn molten and sear into her soul. "I love you." She wasn't sure who said it first because in a heartbeat he was pressing his mouth against hers, taking a sweet moment to taste her lips before gently probing her with his tongue. She opened her mouth to give him access, gently massaging his tongue with her own. She wanted to swallow his breath, devour his life, and take him in her completely. He would gladly let her devour him, as she already completely consumed him.
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Gemma had noticed the flannel shirt about a week after he got it; because he had worn it six times since then. She had mentioned it to Clay and he had brushed it off citing that he had too much on his hands already with the club. The Mayans had been steadily growing out of control for the past two years, and Clay could feel that things were going to reach a boiling point sometime soon. Clay would have to prove himself as the new president. They had sat down for breakfast, and Jax, per usual was rushing, probably so he could go and see Tara as soon as possible. Gemma was irritated.
"Jax, sweetie, why do you keep wearing that God-awful thing? It's ninety degrees outside," she said. He simply smiled that dreamy smile he'd been wearing lately and Gemma knew, knew that it was Tara. She had snared him somehow, brainwashed him. Ever since that dinner, Gemma had been biding her time, trying to dig up dirt on the angelic little schoolgirl. The dinner had ended on somewhat civil terms, as Jax had hissed at her several times after she tried to goad Tara into a conflict. Clay had just sat through silently, and amused smile on his face. But at that moment, Gemma had been forming a plan: she had to get rid of Tara Knowles.
"You look like one of those wetback Cholo bastards. Maybe you should hook up with the Mayans," grunted Clay as he laughed mirthfully. He slapped a hand on Jax's back and mussed up his hair in an affectionate gesture. Jax had chugged down a glass of milk and kissed Gemma's cheek before bolting out the door. Clay shared a knowing look in Gemma's direction.
"It looks like we may have a problem," said Clay.
"No shit Sherlock."
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Tara was wrapped up in Donna's arms trying to hold it together as she heard Jax's voice. His real voice and not some figment of her imagination. She had seized up as soon as she heard him call Donna's name and quickly hid her face behind the small woman's torso. She locked eyes with her and she seemed to understand the pleading tears that were watering Tara's eyes.
"Give me just a sec, okay Jax," said Donna, carefully concealing Tara with her body. Jax was easily distracted as Wendy chose that moment to grab onto his elbow and start complaining about how her feet were hurting. Tara took this opportunity to slip away and ran towards the door, but not before Jax caught that familiar flash of auburn hair. His suspicions were confirmed. Tara Knowles had returned to Charming. The shards of his heart had realigned themselves, only to crack and break into even smaller pieces. He was ecstatic. He was pissed. So he did the only thing his warring mind could do and ran after her, yanking his elbow from Wendy's grasp.
He ran to where her car was, only to see her speeding away as he tried to chase her down. "TAAARAAA!" he yelled, trying to force her back to him. She didn't stop and eventually he stopped screaming. His mind flashed back to almost a decade ago when they were both nineteen. When she had told him she was leaving with or without him. It was a secret moment locked so deep in his heart that he would never let it come back. Back then it was the same situation: her running and Jax following, but he was just seconds too late as she sped off. It was funny how history tended to repeat itself. He remembered yelling into the air back then too, screaming until he tasted blood and his throat was hoarse. He couldn't talk for days afterwards, and he was glad, because his secret may have been exposed. For, you see, Tara had left Jax giving him the choice of the club or her love, and Jax had chosen. His secret: that he chose Tara and would have followed her anywhere.
Well this time she wasn't getting out of Charming so easily. This time he knew exactly where she would be and he would follow her. And they would finally get to say things left unsaid and that had been festering for the last ten years.
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Tara Knowles had dreamed of Jax. She had just met the boy and he was already invading her mind. Her subconscious had put her in distressful situations and Jax had come roaring in on his bike, ready to save the day. She woke up, not remembering her dream, but still feeling satisfied and comforted by his image. She had a delicious ache between her legs that she justified was from her motorcycle ride and not her arousal.
Tara walked to the kitchen and readied breakfast, checking in on her dad, who was sober for once and sleeping in his bed. She finished breakfast and showered, following her normal routine. She left her dad a quick note on his wrapped up plate of bacon and eggs and made her way to the bus stop. Only she didn't make it that far. Jax Teller was parked outside her driveway, waiting for her on the Harley.
"Jax? What are you doing here?" she asked her voice still thick with fatigue.
"Well you seemed to enjoy riding me so much I thought I'd take you to school."
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A/N: So this one is a little short, but we got the plot moving a little bit. Things will start to get a little less linear from here on out as I want to be able to chronicle pivotal points in the relationship. Doing everything in the chronological order would be too much of a burden. These kids have history! I'm working on getting you an update ASAP and will continue to cover the basics. I want to slowly reveal the back-story. I feel like Tara left Jax and he is heartbroken, but Tara stayed away for so long because she was really hurt too. And the pilot episode's interaction between the two was interesting. They weren't buddy buddy or too close, but things were civil between them. I want to find a way to add a little bit of my own take on what may have happened. I have a few more chapters planned for this, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading.
