"Harry answer the door please, I have Donovan" Nikki called out to Harry as she heard the doorbell ring. Harry walked through from the kitchen and nodded, throwing the washing up cloth over the back of the sofa as Nikki placed Donovan on her shoulder to burp him. The baby however began to fuss and Nikki moved him to her legs, sitting him up and supporting his head and holding the bib gently against his mouth as she rubbed her back. "There we go" she smiled as her son coughed up some of his milk "That makes you feel better doesn't it?"
She turned slightly when she heard Harry's raised voice in the hallway but turned back to Donovan as he spat up some more milk and then coughed slightly. Nikki chuckled and wiped his mouth gently; turning to look around again when the front door slammed loudly and rapid footsteps approached the living room. Nikki quickly stood up and clutched Donovan to her when she saw her father standing behind the sofa.
"Nikki I'm sorry, he barged in" Harry apologised as he walked over to her and kissed her cheek "I suggest you get out" he added to Victor, glaring at him.
"Nikki who's this?" Victor ignored Harry as he smiled and nodded to the baby in Nikki's arms.
"None of your business, get out" Nikki told him loudly as she absentmindedly rubbed Donovan's back, tightening her grip on him slightly but not enough to hurt him.
"My grandson?" Victor murmured as he looked at the baby and Nikki nodded once, glancing down at Donovan who was holding his head up away from her shoulder and grasping at a piece of her hair. "He's gorgeous"
"Thank you" Nikki nodded as she looked back at her father "Now get out"
"I want to talk to you. Please"
"No" Nikki shook her head, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat "No dad, not after everything you've said and done"
"Niks I'm sorry" Victor begged her "Please, allow prison to change a man?"
Nikki looked at him and found part of her relenting, the other part of her hating that part for being so weak. He was her father and some part of him still loved her, some part of her that was still connected to him because he was her father. Against the better judgement of the other large proportion of her she sighed and nodded, hearing Harry sigh as well as Victor smiled happily.
"Nikki.."
"Can you take Donovan" Nikki told Harry as she handed their son to him, her lover gently cradling him in his arms as he nodded, knowing that nothing he said would change Nikki's mind. He hated what she was doing but he wasn't going to say anything while Victor was around, not when he could get violent and potentially hurt Nikki and Donovan. He wouldn't go far though.
"I'll go and clean him up" Harry murmured and Nikki nodded, smiling gratefully at him as he turned and walked from the room, giving Victor a warning glance as he did so.
"How have you been?" Victor asked as Nikki sat down on the sofa, leaning her elbow on the arm and running one hand through her hair.
"Fine, there have been ups and downs but that's life isn't it?" Nikki replied and shook her head at her father, keeping her eyes trained on him as he nodded and sat down on the edge of the armchair.
"Congratulations by the way, on the baby"
"Babies, remember" Nikki amended automatically and bit back a chuckle when she saw the look dawn on her father's face as he remembered. Then the unrelenting part of her realised that her own father hadn't remembered that his daughter was having twins. If that wasn't monumental then she didn't know what was. "Twins, two boys" she added after a few seconds.
"Congratulations" Victor murmured and Nikki nodded, biting her lip slightly as she leant back on the sofa and fiddled with the edge of her jumper. "What are their names, my grandsons?"
Nikki squared her jaw and shook her head.
"You have to earn the right to be a grandfather; you don't just automatically become one just because your daughter has given birth"
"I'll try Nikki, please let me try" Victor begged her suddenly and Nikki was shocked but didn't let it show "I want to make up for everything that I've ever said and done wrong against you. I know it will take some time but...please"
Against her better judgement Nikki found herself nodding slightly, her mind screaming at her that she was being stupid and that he hadn't changed at all, that he just wanted back in her life for some support or money or whatever it was that he wanted.
"Thank you so much Nikki. I won't let you down I promise. I'll show you that I can be a brilliant dad"
"This is your last chance" Nikki told him quietly and Victor nodded "I mean it, one more chance and if you fail then that's it"
"I won't. I'll try my hardest"
Nikki nodded again but didn't smile back at him when he smiled at her.
"May I see them?"
"They're asleep" Nikki shook her head, she just wasn't ready for him to see them properly yet "It's difficult to get them to sleep so we don't do anything to wake them when they do"
Nikki didn't tell him that she was still having difficulty not picking them up and cuddling them whenever she saw them.
"Oh okay. How old are they now?"
"Eleven weeks" Nikki replied and tried not to show how awkward she was feeling having this conversation with this man.
"And you're okay? I mean after the birth, looking after them..." he trailed off and Nikki chuckled, wondering why he was so concerned for her now whereas a few months before all he did was drink and occasionally hurt her physically.
"I'm fine"
"Well I remember your mother being very tired in the months after your birth"
"Harry's been very good, he refuses to let me do everything" Nikki smiled as she mentioned her lover and then frowned "I can't imagine you did that did you? I heard you weren't even there for my birth"
"Nikki..."
The door opened and Harry walked back into the room, glancing at Victor and shaking his head at Nikki, frowning in confusion. Nikki just shook her head slightly as Victor looked around and smiled at Harry, standing up quickly.
"Harry, Nikki's given me a second chance to.."
"She's what?"
"Given me a second chance"
"A second chance?" Harry laughed bitterly "It sounds like your tenth chance to me"
"Harry please" Nikki begged her fiancé as she stood up and walked over to him "Don't start, not now"
"I can't believe I'm hearing this" Harry murmured as he turned away from them and ran one hand through is hair, shaking his head "He physically abused you, he left you to fend for yourself when you were practically a child, he mentally abused you amongst other things and you still give him more chances. Why Nikki?" Harry shouted at her and Nikki jumped, her eyes filling with tears. He'd never shouted at her before and it scared her.
"Harry please I.."
"Get out. I want to talk to Nikki" Harry told Victor, ignoring his lover who was trying to hold back her tears "Out of our house now"
"I'll see you soon Nikki. Yes?" Victor asked her but Nikki ignored him. He sighed and walked from the room, throwing Harry a dirty look that was given straight back at him tenfold.
When they heard the front door close Nikki turned away from Harry and bit back her tears, shrugging Harry away when he went to touch her.
"Leave me alone" she whispered tearfully but Harry shook his head.
"No. Now tell me what the hell you are thinking"
"He's my dad. I couldn't help it, part of me..part of me..just..." Nikki sobbed and turned to look at her lover, tears streaming down her face "And he..he promised me that..he..."
"Nikki how many times has he broken his promises you?" Harry asked her angrily, slamming his hand on the back of the sofa and making Nikki jump. "How many times?" he shouted and Nikki let out a sob.
"Stop it" she cried and shook her head, her face wet with her tears and her stomach already aching from her sobbing "Harry please you're..scaring me"
Harry's demeanour changed instantly as he heard his lover and saw her tears. He shook his head a felt his eyes fill with tears, taking a step forward as he began to cry as well.
"Nikki I'm sorry. I'm so so...sorry" he sobbed, reaching out a shaking hand to place it on her shoulder. Nikki didn't shrug him off but looked down at the floor, crying quietly as Harry wrapped his arms hesitantly around her and drew her into his body as she clung to him. Harry tightened his grip on her and buried his face in her neck, crying quietly into her loose hair as he did so, his body shaking against hers. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry..my..emotions..they were..I didn't...mean...to"
"I...know" Nikki sobbed against his chest "I know, I shouldn't..have...believed him..but he's...my...dad..and I...just...want to...believe...him so much..I just..want..him to..."
"I know what that's like" Harry nodded, taking a deep breath to try and stop his tears as he moved away from her slightly and stroked her hair and her cheek. "Wanting to believe in them but...sometimes they just...they just don't deserve it Nikki"
"I wish he was..as..brilliant..as you are..as a daddy"
"Did I scare you?" Harry whispered as they continued to cling to each other, neither wanting to let go. Nikki reached up and wiped her face as she attempted to control her breathing to a normal rate again.
"No"
"Yes I did" Harry nodded, getting tearful at the thought of doing what he dreaded doing. Hurting and scaring his lover or their children.
"You didn't. I knew you wouldn't and couldn't do anything to me" Nikki told him, moving away and placing her hands on his damp cheeks, her own cheeks wet from her tears and her breathing almost back to normal. "You didn't scare me Harry. I promise you that, please believe me"
"I don't.." Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and continued "I don't want to turn out like dad. Now that I'm a dad myself it's been niggling at me. Every time one of the boys cry I always wonder how I'm going to react when they do it in the future and I have work to do or if I'm tired, if I get annoyed and snap at them or you and..." he trailed off and looked up at Nikki who was watching him closely, shaking her head as she stroked his cheek with her thumb "I couldn't bear the thought of you or our babies being..scared..of..me" he sobbed and tears rolled down his face and over Nikki's hands.
"Harry my love calm down" Nikki told him calmly, shaking her head at him "I will never be scared of you and neither will our boys because you won't be like that"
"I bet mum thought that when she met dad" Harry shook his head and Nikki started to get angry at him, pushing it down and refusing to let it show. "Until he started to drink and..hit her and I..I don't want that to happen to..you..or.." he trailed off and Nikki snapped.
Harry gasped and stumbled back slightly, placing his hand on his cheek as Nikki's hand collided with his face with a loud slapping noise the echoed around the room.
"Fine" she shouted at him, shrugging and walking towards the door "Fine, if you think that then you can go and leave. I can raise our children perfectly fine on my own" she screamed at him before running out of the room. Both of them crying loudly as Nikki ran up to their bedroom and Harry sat down heavily on the sofa, holding his cheek as tears slipped down his face.