A Will to Survive

Chapter 2

He had been walking for what seemed miles when in reality he had only reached about twenty-five feet away from his landing zone. With aches and pains slowing him down and the added burden of one useless leg his journey of only twenty feet had taken nearly an hour. Daniel calculated that maybe in two more hours he would reach the mirage he saw earlier but that was becoming more or less hopeless with each passing minute. Thankfully the morphine still worked in its four-hour window and about forty minutes ago the stimulant hit with a rush.

Daniel felt the instant the caffeine hit his bloodstream, those two stimulant tablets working their magic. It was as if someone had suddenly hit a switch turning back on that dogged determination he always had with that combined useful wakefulness. While O'Neill protested his continued use of the contraband tablets they made a good substitute for coffee. Speaking of which a nice, strong cup sounded heavenly right about now even if Daniel would protest the temperature. Maybe it was time for another drank, to keep his tissues hydrated for the rest of the hike. Stopping for what Daniel conceded would only be no more than five minutes he yanked the canteen from its strap.

Sighing deeply he uncapped the half full bottle before bringing the cold metal to his lips. Just the feel of the rim was heaven to his parched and heated lips as the water made its way down his throat. Only a sip he compromised, needing what little water supplies that remained to last the duration of this detour. Rationed sip swallowed Daniel recapped the canteen before returning it to his belt. Okay, thirst temporarily quenched it was time to continue on. He was determined to make this hike by nightfall even if the sun held doubts of that even occurring. Actually the planet with its overpowering sun reminded Daniel of what he remembered from Star Wars fictional planet Tatooine just without the sun's identical twin.

Maybe it was the sun creating this madness but Daniel was thinking he was becoming more like Jack everyday. Except his illusionary references seemed to pertain to Star Wars more than The Wizard of Oz. Maybe he was just going crazy but it did help to keep his mind off the inevitable. Trudging through the desert of Hell different images came rushing through Daniel's mind, most notably Netu. Okay maybe not the most pleasant thoughts but right now all of Daniel's usual optimism was slowly dwindling. Maybe it was the hunger talking or the heat but when the pain was taking up competition with each other it was hard not to think of anything but those thoughts.

As Daniel continued on he pushed all bad thoughts away as his eyes stayed focused on the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. With his right leg ramrod straight and in agony with the smallest movement every step was impossible. Nearing what had to be close to forty feet now the mirage was clearer. Feeling around on his vest for the pocket he previously stored his broken glasses in he tugged open the Velcro to grab them. Nearly useless with the cracks in the lenses Daniel was able to make out something around the fractured glass. Just over the horizon was something large and metal but what was still a mystery. Daniel had a good idea it was some outpost, maybe the partner to the one by the Stargate previously destroyed. It didn't make much difference if he didn't reach it so Daniel pushed on, once again storing his broken glasses back in his vest before continuing his walk.

MIA: Presumed Dead, that was what the President was officially labeling Daniel as. Hammond sat back at his desk after that dreadful call, still seething at what the president had to say. They were not to mount a rescue mission due to worries about the misuse of valuable resources all to save one man. But in Hammond's mind that was exactly where the resources needed to be used. In his mind Dr. Jackson was the most valuable resource they had but most of all a good man and friend. That was one reason why Hammond had no other option but to slam that important red phone back on its cradle after the president had hung up.

It was also the sole reason why he hadn't left base now well past his usual shift hours. He refused to go feeling as if the moment he stepped on the surface meant sealing the deal. No, as a good general Hammond would stay until Daniel Jackson fooled them all as he always did and walked through that Stargate. But what if he didn't? What if it was all true? He feared the truth, feared that they had truly lost a man they thought of as a brother or even a son. Because that's what Dr. Jackson had slowly become to him, a man he could call his surrogate son. A man that only four years ago he had doubted until he worked a way into his heart.

Reaching into the top drawer of his desk George pulled out a small case. Opening it he peered at the contents inside. A heart shaped gold medal with a purple ribbon stared back at him. Earned back in Vietnam in a near similar situation after George was separated from his platoon it made him think back to Daniel. After all these years and all those near death missions George wanted to finally award Daniel, and all of SG-1 for that matter, for his sacrifices. But Daniel wasn't military so that Medal of Honor that would have been bestowed to any other military personnel in Daniel's position posthumously for his service would never be given. Maybe a plaque on the wall with his date of birth and death etched in wood or maybe even recognition by the president but Hammond knew Daniel would only be remembered here on base.

Much to his dismay a memorial, or vigil, or whatever they wanted to call it was already set up in the Gate Room. Organized behind SG-1's back by Siler, Ferretti, and Walter. George assumed Janet had been in on it too but when he stopped by the infirmary before he had seen that the CMO was in as much denial as he and SG-1 were. Actually she confirmed that she would remain at the SGC until Daniel came through the Stargate, anticipating injuries on the usual trouble magnet archeologist. He couldn't blame her, how many times had Dr. Jackson fooled them before by coming back at the eleventh hour after yet another declared death.

Hammond didn't know what to think as his mind and heart competed for the truth. A part of him believed the president's words from the get go while his heart held out for a miracle. Maybe he had got it all wrong from the start and that little memorial shrine now set up in the Gate Room wasn't to remember the archeologist at all but to hold onto hope. With a renewed belief in his heart Hammond made up his mind. Getting up from his desk he made his way out of his office on route to the Gate Room, maybe it was time to fall back on that time honored tradition. A candle would be lit tonight, a candle that would only burn out the moment Daniel returned to them.

In the locker room Jack refused to believe. The rest of his team had gone their own separate ways but he knew they would make their way together to remain until their teammate was returned to them. He had been standing here for the past thirty minutes staring at his open locker at the picture of his lost son. Just that smiling face frozen in time made Jack weep inside. It was just a way to remember his failures continuing on with this one. In the short span of time he had stood there a new picture was added above his son, one very recent of a smiling man caught off guard during a Eureka moment. It was a picture of Daniel on a mission a year previously after discovering a set of ruins that could only be called monumental. Jack couldn't remember who snapped the picture but he presumed it was Carter when she was going through her sentimental phase.

Actually his locker was filled with various pictures of his team he had secretly kept over the years. Never one taken by him but many stood out. Every one with Daniel in it was now resting on the bench he sat on. One with him and Jacob, one of Daniel and Carter laughing at something, of Teal'c trying to avoid the camera while Daniel was looking away, of his entire team together as Hammond wanted to commiserate the team. It didn't matter anymore, they were all just memories. Memories Jack hoped to continue without being so abruptly halted as they were with Charlie.

Picking up the small stack of glossy pictures Jack stored them once again safely in his locker, never to be found by strangers eyes. Closing his locker door but not before looking into the bespeckled eyes of the man he failed Jack was ready to be with his team. While any other time he rather be alone Sam had a point before, they needed to deal with this together because they were all to blame. He knew Teal'c was most likely in a deep state of kel'no'reem to sooth his sorrow while Sam was either with Janet or engrossing herself in her work. They all had their different methods of taking their mind from the truth.

Standing up, wincing and groaning as his knees ached from old injuries and age he made his way from the locker room. Actually his bad knee was aching with an intense ferocity he couldn't remember feeling this morning. He attributed it to the run to the Gate, actually felt it twinge on P5C-118 when he tripped on a rock. Maybe it would behoove him to visit Janet before finding Carter and Teal'c in more ways than one. Maybe he, Jack O'Neill the "I keep emotions bottled up", was in need of someone to talk to who held his belief in his friend. Or maybe he was just losing his mind. Whatever it was Jack couldn't think as he walked out of the locker room.

"Yeah, what a day," he said to nobody before stepping out.

Standing at the wall in the Gate Room that had been dedicated to their friend one glance revealed it was a shrine of memorial but a closer look Sam saw something else. She didn't see a memorial with pieces of paper mourning a passing or flowers of remembrance but a wall of lit candles ensuring hope. It was a shrine of hope set up by some of their closest allies at the SGC to ensure Daniel was never forgotten as they waited for his return. No the candles were lit to signal they recognized he was missing in the dark, not in mourning of his death. They were a candlelit vigil to remain until he crossed that Gate.

Staring at the candles Sam held onto that hope. She knew Daniel, knew that he would die before giving up. Maybe a call unto their allies, those allies who knew Daniel so well, could ensure his return. Sam had considered it, actually coming up with a decent argument to General Hammond about her father but it went on deaf ears by direct orders from the president. How could one man with that much power even consider leaving Daniel behind, after all they had gone through how could he of all people decline when he himself had never graced the SGC with his presence. He just couldn't understand and Sam knew if he were to even come and see how they worked his orders might have been different.

She couldn't think about it though too much sadness in her heart. Maybe their worst fear had been confirmed; maybe Daniel was truly lost forever having not found refuge in that village. But other ideas were fast approaching her mind in a rush; maybe all hope wasn't lost after all. It was just an idea; a very farfetched idea that could only come with experience but it was too out of left field. Maybe investigated further she would find a way but as of right now Sam would remember her closest friend. Bending down she found a candle that had previously blown out and taking a lighter from her pocket she brought new life back into the burnt wick. The candle would keep burning until Daniel returned to them, she would make sure of it. But right now Sam had bigger fish to fry, had bigger problems to hash out.

Taking one last look at the golden light of the candles Sam turned and said, "I think I found a way".

Slipping from his kel'no'reem Teal'c was once again back in the real world. During that time he had traded some of that metaphorical strength in hopes to transfer what little he could to Daniel Jackson wherever he was. He had considered calling upon Master Bra'tac for assistance knowing very well that his mentor would not deny assisting them in their search. But his previous suggestion went unnoticed, as General Hammond had received conflicting orders from the president. Teal'c didn't resent the general knowing all too well the burdens of command but had wished more could be done. They had officially failed Daniel Jackson and were in no position to remedy it.

Standing from his relaxed position Teal'c made his compromise to seek out O'Neill. Major Carter would be no doubt in her lab but it was his team leader that put unease in Teal'c's heart. Out of all of them O'Neill had taken this blow the hardest beginning from the moment Daniel Jackson's absence was first noted. Ever since Teal'c had noticed that his team leader was slowly retreating into himself blanketed by denial so similar to that time when Daniel Jackson was thought to be lost on Nem's planet. He would just have to ensure it didn't go that far, didn't go as far as for O'Neill to lose himself completely for Teal'c could see that blame in his eyes.

Stepping out of his quarters Teal'c made his way to the place he felt O'Neill would be. As he walked through the corridors of the SGC Teal'c could clearly see that grief so plainly displayed on everyone's faces. It was as if Daniel Jackson was already lost, never to return only to be mourned. But he held no similarity in his own heart as Teal'c held out for hope in Daniel Jackson's return. That hope would remain until otherwise noted by a soulless body for the eye to see. For Teal'c knew Daniel Jackson too well to mourn that which could not be seen.

As Teal'c made his way down the hall he spotted O'Neill instantly coming out of the locker room. He walked up silently and fell in step with the colonel once he noticed his presence. Neither man said anything, they only walked in silence to their final destination. It wasn't until O'Neill turned his head towards him did Teal'c see that pure loss in those eyes. It was that same loss he had seen so many times before on Klorel's ship, upon returning from Nem's planet, and following Sha're's death when they thought they would lose Daniel Jackson forever. It was a look that Teal'c felt reflected in his own eyes.

"O'Neill, I do not believe that Daniel Jackson is….," he never got the chance to finish as Jack broke his words.

"I know T, neither do I," O'Neill had read his mind, knowing so well what his last words were going to be than even himself.

Teal'c nodded before adding, "He is not dead O'Neill, I can feel it in my heart".

"Me too Teal'c, me too," O'Neill's voice faded as he continued his walk.

They fell into silence once more as they neared their destination, that familiar lab that may just hold the answers. Upon entering they were assaulted with the sounds of machinery and computer programs being run. Carter was onto something that much was true. It could be seen as she worked frenetically in her lab jumping from one computer to the other as the simulations ran. Jack's eyebrows just rose as he watched from the door waiting to see if Sam would notice him. Teal'c had taken a similar stance his eyes sliding back and forth as he watched Major Carter work.

"Guys, I think I have something," Carter looked up an accomplished gleam in her eye.

"Okay that's new," Daniel had muttered at the finality of his journey. As he ended his journey he found himself standing and staring at something he had never expected in all of his journey's off world. Sitting in front of him in all its glory was a second Stargate. It puzzled him to the point of looking left and right to be entirely sure his brain wasn't merely playing tricks on him in the form of a giant Naquadah shaped mirage. He contemplated touching it to be sure but that would mean added walking to reach it through what remained of a pedestal and outpost.

"A second Stargate, I really don't think the Ancient's thought that one out. So why would they have a second Gate?" he asked himself.

That's when it hit him as his mind played out the scenario and history in his head. This was no planet but a moon, a penal moon to be exact. A place of banishment that could explain the second Stargate. The first was the point of entry while the second was where the Goa'uld escaped to leave their prisoners in the dark. But it was all a hoax if no DHD was present declaring that this was indeed a place crafted by the cruel nature of the Goa'uld.

One part of Daniel's theory was fast becoming false as he was now staring at a DHD in its usual place beside the Gate. So maybe not a penal moon but an outpost where the first DHD was destroyed. That meant a second Gate was built in fear that the first was lost, probably from two battling factions or the System Lords. Okay so a DHD that meant only good things for Daniel. But one thing still stood, with a broken GDO there was no way of returning to Earth unless he really saw himself going 'splat' on the other side. So Daniel tried to rake his mind for the addresses of which known teams were at in hopes of meeting one of them to borrow a GDO.

Taking yet another quick break more for his right leg than anything else Daniel prepared himself to step up the few steps to the DHD. It was going to be torture but needed to be done for him to return home. But whatever Daniel had set his mind to he was committed. It was just like everything he did from translating a passage from a new alien language to firing a machine gun he rarely held.

Gasping as he staggered up the steps Daniel fell into the DHD as his balance wavered. Groaning as the sudden movement set forth aches in his previously pain free chest Daniel had no choice but to stop. In that moment his knee was once making itself known as Daniel feared the morphine had finally run its course. Okay, so morphine worn off that didn't mean he couldn't continue through the pain. It wasn't like he hadn't done it in the past even if that pain ended with a ruptured appendix.

Finally regaining his center Daniel pushed the pain behind him as he steadied himself on the stone device. Closing his eyes he waited for that familiar address to flash across his memory before staring down at the glyphs. M2R-445, the coordinates that SG-4 were currently at if Daniel remembered correctly. Slowly he dialed the address, his head cocking to one side as he watched the glyphs sluggishly light up if they had at all. Seven symbols punched in his hand hovered over the center crystal before depressing it. In an instant all of Daniel's worst fears were confirmed as the DHD remained dark, the Gate immobile. The hoax had been true, the Gate and DHD all a lie. He was officially trapped here, never to go home.

"Crap," was the only intelligible word he could come up with for the situation he had been dealt.

"So I have a theory that Daniel isn't exactly on the planet itself. I believe that the energy of the wormhole was redirected somehow, probably from a surge of power from when the DHD was destroyed," Sam began to explain earning two very blank stares from her other teammates. It had come to her out of the blue while staring at the candles, come by just a reorganization of sticks of wax. It was a good idea but one that Hammond would have to debate with the brass on top for further exploration.

"So Carter, idea, shoot," O'Neill ordered regaining some of his old sarcasm that they feared lost.

"So my theory begins that instead of making it to Earth like the rest of us the surge caused the wormhole to jump. Instead of ending here Daniel may have jumped to another Gate between P5C-118 and Earth," she traced her fingers on a drawing she created on the whiteboard. "I believe here on this planet M7R-079 which is the closest destination to Earth. I believe that it has to be there because if the DHD was destroyed any sooner we would be wherever Daniel is now and seeing how we're not it must have surged right before he made it home".

Her idea was plausible but it did nothing to put O'Neill at ease as old memories began to surface, "You mean like what happened to us on Antarctica".

"Yes sir but obviously there is no way for Daniel to come out on the other side of a Stargate on Earth unless he was transferred to the Russian Gate which is possible sir," Sam thought for a moment.

Great, now we have to deal with those lying little scientists again. Hammond can handle it, Jack thought at the prospect at dealing with the Russians.

"I think we need to search M7R-079 and all the planets that are aligned between P5C-118 and Earth and we may find Daniel. This is are only chance," Sam said.

"Okay, now we have to convince Hammond and the big boys at the top. Hammond I have no doubt will agree but the president has put a stop on the rescue mission," Jack reminded her.

"Maybe if Hammond brought up the proposal to the president that we call upon the Tok'ra and maybe the Tollan's to assist us with the search. We won't be using all our resources that way," Sam suggested.

"Good idea, do you think your father is reachable?" Jack asked.

"If he is I know he'll be in," Sam answered.

"Okay, what are we waiting for," Jack responded sarcastically.

Sam had a smile on her face at her plan but it soon faded as Teal'c spoke up having been quiet the entire meeting.

"What if Daniel Jackson had remained in the Event Horizon before the Stargate disengaged?" Teal'c asked.

Sam hesitated answering the idea having come to her head previously prompting Jack to demand, "Carter".

"Then he's dead sir," she answered quietly.

As of right now Daniel had given up, for now at least. Sitting down on the hot ground he used the DHD to lean against, giving him just enough leverage to keep his leg straight in front of him without completely falling over. Well at least it was useful for something instead of becoming just dead stone. He wondered if he could fix it but he was no Sam Carter. Translating ruins and making introductions to new races of aliens were what he excelled at not fixing some ancient dialing device.

Letting his head fall back onto the stone Daniel was in resignation. Nightfall was coming fast, the sun setting along the valley. Maybe he could get some relief from the heat as a light breeze began to settle. He wanted so desperately for that second dose of morphine but feared using it for the sake of his sudden resignation. So Daniel settled for the Tylenol he kept in his vest, right next to the bottle of aspirin kept for that inevitable headache that came with too many long nights without sleep. Tossing the two tablets in his mouth he took a generous swig out of his canteen very aware that his first one was nearly empty.

With pills taken and thirst quench it was time to set up camp. Unclipping his pack he organized it in front of him for easy access before shrugging off his vest, the pains in his chest making themselves apparent. Maybe one dose of morphine wouldn't be bad but he only had two injectors remaining. Unzipping the pack he grabbed the necessary supplies as his stomach made itself known, maybe it was time for that MRE or at least half of the MRE. Setting up the sterno under the military issue heater he ignited it, cursing as the chemical flame burned his fingers. Why does that always happen, well at least it took my mind off my leg, he thought to himself.

Squeezing out the macaroni and cheese into the metal cup he saved half of the package for later. With the cup over the sterno he set about other things as his dinner heated. Like taking the second cup he had found on the bottom of his pack and filling it with the remains of the first canteen. While he had so little water left Daniel made it last, pouring a packet of rehydration solution into it and stirring it with his finger. He set the now orange water aside to be drunk with his dinner before turning to the DHD.

He had absolutely no idea what he was doing but after watching Sam do it once or twice Daniel figured he could wing it. Shifting against the stone he positioned himself to be able to open the bottom. Swinging open the cover he peered inside at the inner workings of the DHD. Nothing seemed to be broken just grossly out of place. While he didn't know the first thing about fixing DHD's Daniel figured he could rearrange the innards until he found a combination that worked. It would have to come tomorrow though as the sun was nearly set, darkness fast engulfing the desert.

"This should be easy," he remarked to himself, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Closing the cover once more on the DHD he shifted back to his original position. Finally his dinner was done, or what could pass off as dinner disguised as chicken flavored military issue grub. Blowing out the sterno for future use he replaced its cap before turning back to his pack for the small metal spoon he knew was at the bottom. Spoon in hand it was time to eat as he took the cup in hand.

"Tastes like chicken," Daniel smiled after the first bite.

He ate in silence watching the brilliant sunset. On any other given day he would have appreciated the way that big ball of gas descended upon the horizon, even enjoyed today given the circumstances but many other things were on Daniel's mind. He still had no idea of the whereabouts of his team, of whether they even made it back to the SGC. He thought a little about how he was even going to MacGyver the DHD when the sun came up as he only had a few archeological tools and a knife to do it with. But right now as he enjoyed his meager meal he was content to watch the sunset.

As he drunk the final sips of the rehydration solution the sun had disappeared. Finishing his last bite he put both cups away as darkness descended upon him. In his vest he retrieved that small flashlight kept for this same reason, clicking it on and setting it on the ground for some light to cut through the dark. He pulled out the first aide kit to set next to him knowing in the back of his mind that the numerous cuts and scrapes needed tending too. Pushing the pack away with everything in its place Daniel leaned back to rest.

While it was a little cooler than before it was still hotter than blazes, making the planet seem more like Egypt or the Middle East rather than Netu as it had before. The light breeze helped a little, diminishing the threat of succumbing quicker to dehydration but he still felt wet. Actually now with the sun having set he could take off his jacket, no longer in need of protection from the elements until the sun rose tomorrow. Shrugging it off painfully Daniel balled it up in use as a makeshift pillow, setting it behind his back for some protection from the hard stone. The pack he also made good use of going back to Janet's discussion of elevation as it pertained to musculoskeletal injuries. Taking a deep breath he gently lifted his injured leg, pain instantly spiking through his knee before sliding the pack under his calf. It hurt like hell but Daniel hoped the slight elevation would decrease some of the massive inflammation and subsequent swelling.

With the last of his dwindling reserves he cleaned some of the deeper scrapes using the flashlight for illumination before packing back up the first aide kit. At the last minute he pulled one of the final two doses of morphine out to be kept in hand. He refused to take it, a little concerned at the thought of falling asleep all alone in the darkest of night. But he resigned; maybe it was the nagging migraine like headache that was reaching the surface from his concussion. Or maybe it was the overall in general agonizing ache that refused to leave him to allow him to rest. Daniel didn't know, but he conceded to the narcotic anyways finding it hard to even let his eyes rest as the pain was once again becoming unbearable, the Tylenol not making so much of a dent in the agony. With some sleep Daniel knew he would be refreshed tomorrow so he brought the injector up, fingering off the caps on both ends. Bringing up to his left thigh he repeated the procedure as before satisfied when hearing the snap-hiss and feeling the accompanying burn.

As he waited for the morphine to take over Daniel rested his head back on the stone thinking of better times from the past. Remembering all those missions near-death or otherwise with his team as they always came out on top. Thinking back to all those digs in the hot deserts of Egypt but lavishing in every one. For the first time since flying out of that Gate Daniel was content. Maybe it was the narcotic in his bloodstream or natural delight that he was alive but he actually felt at peace. It was at that moment that Daniel had renewed determination; it was at that moment that he had a will to survive.