15) Six Month Anniversary

Mandy walked up to Grissom's door, knocking.

He looked up from the paper he was scribbling away on.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Yes. Please. Have a seat," Grissom motioned to the chair in front of his desk.

Mandy walked in and sat down. Grissom never asked to see her. It wasn't like he avoided her or anything, but usually their conversations were the passing of evidence and her coming to him with the results. Not much else happened between them.

"How are you doing?" Grissom asked.

"Good."

"Glad that the holidays are over?"

"Actually, yes. It's kind of nice to have a moment to breathe."

He smiled, nodding. "It is. Do you know what today is?"

She hesitated because she didn't know. "Should I?"

"You should. Today you've been here for six months." Grissom finished writing and looked up at her. "Congratulations."

She beamed. She actually did know that. Gina had left her a packet covering all her benefits and the little perks she would get now that she was officially a LVPD employee.

"Thank you."

"So do you have any goals in mind?"

"Not yet. Nothing's opened up yet, has it?"

"There might be some options soon, but I can't say with any certainty."

She smiled, nodding.

"There is one benefit of your six months that we just started not too long ago." Grissom opened a desk drawer and fished around in it.

"What's that?"

He took out a keycard and sat it down on the edge of the desk in front of her. "It's nothing as beneficial as health benefits or a fitness club membership. Frankly, I just learned it was even given on an employee's six month anniversary."

She reached out, picking up the keycard and turning it over. There was no identification on it. She looked up at him.

"What's this for?"

He smiled. "Do you have plans after your shift today?"

"No. Why?"

"Then meet me in the morgue when your shift is over. That's a very important key to us on the graveyard."

"Should I be worried?"

"No more than usual."

That worried her. "Does this involve Hodges?"

"It does."

"I don't think I'm interested in whatever this is." She sat the key down on the desk.

"Tell you what, why don't you let me show you what it is in the morning, and then decide if you're still not interested. It is an optional benefit, after all."

She wanted to know what exactly it was that he wasn't telling her.

"And by the way, you'll have a good review in your file." Grissom signed off on her review that he'd been writing when she'd walked in.

"Thanks. Can I go now?"

"Sure."

Mandy stood, staring at the keycard for a minute. She reached down and snatched it up, then walked out. She looked back to make sure Grissom wasn't grinning with some evil thought, and he wasn't. He had moved on to someone else's review. She looked at the keycard as she walked through the hall.

#

Mandy walked into the morgue, finding David, Robbins and Grissom standing around an exam table talking. It was an empty and clean table, but it still kind of creeped her out.

"She came!" David said with a smile.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come," Grissom said.

"Okay. I came. Why am I here again?"

"Come with us," Robbins said and the three headed for the door.

She turned, following them. They continued their conversation as they walked, turning in the direction of records. The three stopped at the door, their conversation dying for a moment.

"Use your keycard," Grissom motioned at the card reader by the door. "You did bring it, didn't you?"

She pulled the blank card out and swiped it. The doors unlocked and the four went inside. The conversation picked up again as they walked.

"Why are we in records?"

"There's a secret down here," David answered.

"What secret?"

"That's part of the secret," David told her.

She didn't like that answer, so she asked Grissom, "What's going on, Grissom?"

"I told you. This is part of your benefits package."

"Getting a keycard to records? I work in the lab. I don't need records access."

Grissom glanced at her. "I don't remember you being this impatient before."

"I'm tired."

"Aw. Well, we'll be quick about this then."

They turned at the last aisle. Warrick was waiting at the end leaning against the cabinets.

"Ecklie just called and he's coming too," Warrick said.

"Why?" Grissom asked.

"Something about his job since it's one of his employee's six month anniversary."

"Let's go in and start without him," Robbins said.

Grissom squeezed through the space between the cabinets and wall and opened the door. Talking and light erupted from the room, surprising Mandy. Robbins and David followed him and Warrick waited.

"You have to go in, Mandy," Warrick told her.

"What's in there?"

"It's a good thing. Go in."

Mandy looked into the room as Catherine came into view. She stood at the wall and began writing on it in chalk. Intrigued, Mandy walked into the room. The rest of The Wall Crew were in the room and offered a warm reception when she came in. Hodges sidled up to her.

"So, you are now officially part of The Wall Crew." He presented a piece of chalk. "And it is your duty to add items to the things lab rats, and CSI, aren't allowed to do anymore."

She took the chalk, admitting, "I don't understand."

He pointed to the first part of the list, at the title. "This. Read a few, you'll catch on."

Mandy started reading the list.

"Archie, who are you talking about?" Greg asked, reading over Archie's shoulder as he wrote:

183. Co-workers who wear cologne or perfume that can be smelled three halls away, will be considered a fire hazard and require immediate fire retardant application.

"The guy's on swing. I think his name is Rudy or something like that. Anytime I need him for anything, I just have to follow his smell."

"Oh!" Nick said. "He wears that really cheap stuff that smells like dirty socks."

"You know," Hodges told them, "It's proven that the smell of perfume and cologne changes with each person's body chemistry. Maybe someone should recommend he wear it on his clothes instead."

"Hodges, the guy bathes in that stuff. We don't want to know if that's how it really smells or not."

"I think he thinks that it's an aphrodisiac," Archie said.

"Kinda like Nicky's alien abductee the other day," Greg said.

Nick laughed. "That guy was off his rocker."

"His medication made him delusional," Grissom told him. "It wasn't his fault."

"He was off his rocker," Nick repeated.

"Convincing him the aliens had sent you to make contact with the KGB in his head was not the best way to question him."

"Oh fine!" Nick wrote the next rule:

184. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are 'hearing conversations' from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.

"And while you're at things you shouldn't do with witnesses, Nicky," Catherine began, "I think football games fall into that category."

"He was a jerk. He needed a little smack down."

"How was taunting a suspect that your team is winning fall under smack down or questioning, for that matter?"

Nick added one more rule:

185. When I report to a crime scene, and a football game is on, I am no longer allowed to taunt the suspect(s) that my team is beating theirs.

"Happy?" he asked her.

"And glow sticks are not called—"

"Yeah, yeah." Nick added the next rule.

186. We do not refer to glow sticks as 'those bright, shiny objects that make a satisfying crunch when you crack them.'

"Anything else?"

Grissom wrote the next one:

187. No longer allowed to bet with even one co-worker on a crime scene or evidence.

That received a resounding boo. Mandy laughed, joining her co-workers. She looked up when someone came up beside her and stared. Ecklie was watching Grissom write as he rolled up his sleeves. He wasn't going to yell at them for defacing city property? Her eyes stopped on the piece of chalk he was holding. Was Ecklie really planning on defacing city property with them? He noticed her staring.

"Morning Mandy."

"Morning," she said.

He smiled at her. "I told you six month anniversaries were revered by the night shift."

"Yes, you did. I completely misunderstood what you meant."

They conversation was interrupted when Robbins tapped his cane on the cement floor.

"I'd like to add that if this next rule is broken, I will enforce it with the coldest water I have available in the morgue."

Robbins turned and wrote:

188. The morgue is not Motel 6.

Gina trotted over, adding:

189. Sleeping under the receptionist desk is no longer permitted.

"Who did that?" Catherine asked.

All eyes turned to Nick.

"What? I didn't sleep under the desk."

"You were sleeping there two nights ago."

"That wasn't me. That was my twin."

"And last week I found you sleeping on the exam table in the back," Robbins told him.

"It wasn't occupied!"

"Next time I'll just start throwing ice at you," Gina threatened. "You scared me half to death when you started snoring."

"I don't snore."

"You snore."

"I do not snore!"

"You snore," Greg and Warrick told him.

"I snore?"

"You snore," Greg, Warrick and Gina answered.

"Now that we've figured that out," Catherine said. "I think it's time to pick on Archie. So, tell me, Archie, why did I get that angry parent Monday morning? I'm still a little fuzzy about that."

"Oh… That." Archie smiled, but didn't continue.

"Yes?" Grissom asked.

"Well… I… Uhm… It was a misunderstanding."

"Such as?"

Archie spun around and wrote:

190. When a child from a tour group asks you how something works, it is ill advised to use so much technical lingo that the child cries and the guardian accuses of you of a pornographic answer.

"See? Harmless."

Catherine pointed to the rule she wrote.

191. It is ill to refer the angry guardians to your supervisor because "she has a kid and can explain it's not a pornographic answer."

"Not so simple. Do it again and I will make your life miserable, lab rat."

"I was just trying to clarify the situation to the kids."

"Uh-huh."

"I was!"

"Oh. Speaking of clarity," David said, adding:

192. We already know the deceased is dead when we arrive. There is no need to announce, "Bring out your dead!"

"Ah come on!" Greg cried. "That's half the fun of dead people." He ignored Grissom's stern stare.

"It is real fun, David. You can't forbid that," Nick argued.

"I can, and I have."

Nick looked at Warrick. "We're going to have to think of something else more annoying now."

Warrick nodded.

"Henry… What?" Grissom asked, pointing to his newly added rule.

193. There is no such thing as were-virgins.

"Lab rat conversation."

"Involving what?"

"Werewolves," the lab rats answered in unison.

"What?" Grissom asked.

"Long, long, loooooong story," Mandy told him as she walked to a wall and added her own rule:

194. Stop encouraging Hodges's game!

"What's wrong with my game?" Hodges asked.

"You're annoying everyone with it."

"I'm not annoyed with it," Grissom admitted.

"Speak for yourself," Catherine shot back.

"Speaking of annoying, I found one the other day we should avoid," Brass said as he began writing:

195. Must not taunt police officers who are in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.

"AND…" Brass said, adding his next rule.

196. Detective Brass is not to be referred to as either 'hell on wheels' or 'the old man.'

"But you are hell on wheels," Greg argued. "You killed that guy's trash can."

"He was running from us."

"But you killed the trash can."

Brass rolled his eyes.

"While we're on the topic of inanimate objects, Greg," Grissom trailed off as he wrote:

197. You do not have to identify yourself as CSI to crime scene plants.

Everyone laughed, including Greg.

"Finally, there is an end!" Nick cried out.

"Thank you Grissom!" Warrick added.

"The crime scene plants are living beings, and they need to know who we are. They might have to testify someday."

"When pigs fly, maybe," Ecklie told him.

"Yes. Yes, it may be then, but you will all be sorry because we can't have them do it since we never identified ourselves to them."

"I think the plants are the least of our worries," Ecklie told him.

Mandy stared in shock as Ecklie added a rule:

198. Do not taunt members of the press.

"But they deserve it," Catherine retorted.

That surprised Mandy even more.

"Maybe, but we can't let them know that we know they deserve it," Ecklie argued. He looked across the room. "Tattoos, Henry?"

They looked at the rule he just wrote.

199. I am not allowed to give tattoos.

"Who—" Bobby began.

"Long story."

"How long?"

"We'll be here until next shift starts."

"Moving on," Mandy said, adding her next rule:

200. Inflatable sheep are not to be seen performing lab duties.

There was silence. She turned, looking right at Bobby. Everyone else looked at Bobby.

"What?" he asked.

"What is that about?" Grissom asked.

"Sammy was test firing weapons again, wasn't he?" Greg asked.

"Whose Sammy?" Nick asked.

"Bobby's inflatable sheep," Archie said.

"The better question is: why do you have an inflatable sheep?" Catherine asked.

Bobby's brow dipped. "I've had it since I was in college."

"And why did you have it in college?"

"A girlfriend gave it to me."

"Why?" Nick asked.

"I dunno, really. I can't remember that far back."

"But you remember the girlfriend that gave it to you?" Grissom asked.

"Not really. I just remember it was a girlfriend. Couldn't tell you which one."

"Which one? You had more than one girlfriend in college?"

"Yeah. Lots. They always said they enjoyed that I—"

Mandy cut him off crying, "Topic change! So Archie and Hodges, this is just for you two."

201. Revenge will be swift and embarrassing in response to practical jokes involving containers mislabeled 'corrosive' or 'explosive.'

"They've been doing that?" Catherine asked.

"Oh yeah." She turned to Catherine. "To everyone. But maybe you should ask how it started."

"How did it start?" Catherine asked.

Mandy wrote:

202. Be nice to your lab rats. You have to go to crime scenes, they don't.

"Nick! Greg!"

"I didn't do anything," Nick said.

Catherine looked at Greg.

"I didn't do anything."

"You're expecting us to believe that."

Warrick started laughing.

"You?" Hodges asked. "You're the one that put the water in my locker?"

"Rigged my chair to fall apart?" Archie asked.

"Loaded all the test weapons with rubber bullets?" Bobby asked.

"And I suppose you were behind the mislabeled canisters," Mandy said.

"Naw. That I'm completely innocent of."

"This means revenge!" Hodges threatened.

"I'll pretend I never heard that," Ecklie told them.

"And now," Hodges began. He picked up a chair and carried it over to the door. He shut it and sat the chair against it, climbing onto it. "With new members, we have to update our list." He turned and added a line below the first.

One by one they added their initials to the list. When Gina stepped down last, there was a moment of silence.

The Wall Crew – 2008 – (DH, MW, GS, HA, WB, NS, CW, CE, GG, AJ, Gina)

Suddenly they began talking at once. The chair was moved and the door opened, and they began filing out, leaving Mandy standing alone in the room. She turned, looking at the walls.

"A little overwhelming, isn't it?" Hodges asked behind her.

She looked back at him. "Maybe." She looked up at the list. "I've never worked anywhere with something like this." She waved her hands at the walls. "Or something like The Wall Crew. It feels kind of like a college fraternity."

"Yeah, except we don't make you get drunk and puke."

She turned, staring at him. He smiled and she was compelled to return it, even if the comparison was gross.

"I guess I'm grateful then."

"They're going to have breakfast at Frank's."

"Just The Wall Crew?"

"Usually, yeah."

"Guess we'd better hurry then." Mandy walked out the door.

Hodges shut the door and caught the light on his way out.