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Chapter 11: That Shit's Permanent

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"We've got a plant," said Jax, and immediately everyone in the room shut their mouths. Church was in session, and everyone had been amused that the jr. VP had the audacity to call the meeting. Tig, in particular, was extremely pissed. He was still woozy and doped up from the painkillers, and the bullet that had grazed his body was a reminder that this young pup still had a long way to go.

But after he had said those words, the implications and severity of the matter settled in, effectively muzzling everyone in the room.

"Ya, shuure aboot it, Jackyboy?" said Chibs, in his thick Scottish accent.

"It's my principal," said Jax. He then elaborated on the little nuances that gave her away. The way she watched him, her tendency to be overbearing, yet lenient; it all made too much sense. The teacher was a plant, and if she was this deep undercover, it had to be serious.

"So your teacher's been watching you. What the fuck else you gonna get us into, KID?" said Tig, and immediately people began talking again, some agreeing and disagreeing. Piney was one of the louder people sticking up for Jax, and it made him painfully aware that his stepfather had said nothing. He was still angry about the patch incident.

"Here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna play it smart, and quiet. We need intel on this bitch and who she works for. If she's local, we pop her ass and give her a Charming burial. If it's worse and she's a fed…well, we'll just handle that if it goes there. Play it safe, keep your eyes and ears out," said Clay. The meeting was adjourned with the pounding of the gavel, and slowly the Sons poured out the room, all too aware that something bad was bound to happen.

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Jax rode home, the roar of his Harley not loud enough to keep thoughts of Tara out. He regretted his decision, had felt physical pain from it. His stomach was in knots, and it felt like a hand was making a vice-like fist over his heart, squeezing and suffocating him. It took all his strength and will power not to go to her house and beg her to come back.

So when he arrived home, the sight of her sitting on his bed nearly sucked the air out of him.

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Tara had snuck in, a relatively easy process that she had perfected since she started dating Jax. He left his window open, and all it took was a simple climb up the trellis and onto the roof. She had waited on his bed, nerves getting the best of her as she heard the unmistakable purr of his Harley. She poked her head out the window to make sure it was him, and her heart jumped at the sight of him.

He walked in the room, and she rose quickly off the bed. He looked happy to see her; a hint of a smile lit up his grim face, and quickly fell. He started to say something, but was quickly silenced when she turned around and lifted her shirt. The cool air was refreshing on her lower back. The skin was still raw and stung with the movement of her shirt. She waited, the hairs rising on her neck as the silence let doubt creep into her mind. She waited. And waited.

What if he still didn't want her? This was a terrible idea, she thought. Why am I so stupid? I should've left him alone, he doesn't want me, and I am a fool for letting myself believe this-a cool brush of air, signaled that he had moved closer. Warm fingertips gently laid themselves on her hips, careful not to touch the sensitive skin. Still, he said nothing.

She risked a peek over her shoulder, and was stunned to see the look of wonder in his eyes. They were full of reverence. She tried to turn and touch him, but his grip held strong and she was stuck in place. "Tara," he said, "do you know what this means?"

"It means I'm yours…that I-"

"Love you," he interrupted. "Tara, I love you."

A lump formed in her throat. He had finally said the words. He broke his grip from her hips and stood up to face her. Their eyes locked and time, the club, and everything else became irrelevant. "I love you," he said again. A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye, and he brushed it away with his calloused thumb.

"This is stupid and dangerous, but I love you too much to let you go," he said.

"Jax, I just want to be with you. You're everything to me," said Tara. In the back of her mind, a little voice told her that it wasn't enough. Sooner or later the he would get caught up with the club and it would break her. She quickly silenced it and relished the feeling of Jax's arms wrapped around her.

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Later she takes him to her special place, a field just off the highway. It's a green little paradise and the sun is lenient, allowing a cool shade under the trees and sunlight in the rolling hills. She pointed to a hill off in the distance and told him about her mother, and how this was "their" place. She would take her here when she was a little girl, and they would lie in a ditch, soaking up the sun. He tries to press her to talk about her mom some more, anything to avoid talking about the club and his own fucked up existence. She closes up and her eyes start to water.

Jax quickly changed the subject and pulled her to a nearby tree. "This can be our special place," he says. They sit in the shade and laze about the rest of the day, for now, content to put away their troubles and just enjoy the comforting presence of each other. He thinks about putting his hands down her jeans, but decides that it would spoil the moment. He wants their confession to be pure, because nothing in else in his life is pure. And he knows things are going to get a lot worse.

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