25) Elelator Go Up...

Henry held his eyes closed while his little brother carefully cleaned the gash across his eyes. He held an icepack to his other eye, hoping it would keep it from swelling shut. So far, it didn't seem to be working.

"I thought I'd find you two down here," he heard Grissom said.

"Hi Grissom," Jason said.

"Good morning," Grissom answered.

Henry looked up, watching his supervisor cross the room and sit down in a chair nearby. Henry had managed to ferret his little brother away from the chaos upstairs before Ecklie or the Under Sheriff showed up.

"Who was left standing?" Henry asked.

Grissom chuckled. "Let's see... After the two managed to destroy the lab with the explosion, then had a screaming match, I sent Catherine and Greg home before I was tempted to suspend them both. So, I guess neither of them faired this disaster very well."

"What exactly happened? All I knew was suddenly I was on the floor and all cut up."

"Greg put something on the burner that he wasn't supposed to, but he swears Catherine told him to. She's so tired she couldn't really remember, but she said she did."

"I have never seen those two get into a fight like that before."

"Take little sleep, a really bad case, and you just have to add a he said, she said to make a fight."

Henry winced when Jason pressed a little too hard.

"Easy there, buddy."

"Thank you for getting Jason out of there. They didn't need to know he comes in on weekends with you."

"Welcome."

"Hey, Henry," Nick said as he, and Warrick, came in. "How'd you two fair?"

"NICK! WARRICK!" Jason cried, jumping up and running to them.

"JASONATOR!" Nick cried back, swooping him up over his head.

Jason laughed, squirming when Nick started tickling him. He tossed him over to Warrick, who slung him over his shoulder and found his ticklish spot again.

"STOP IT!" Jason laughed, swatting Warrick's back.

"Stop it? Stop what?" Warrick asked.

Jason tried to pull away but instead Warrick pulled him back over his shoulder, dropping him into his arms.

"I'm doing better than Catherine and Greg's evidence."

Nick laughed.

Grissom looked up at the rules. "Anything new?"

The men hadn't even looked at the rules since they'd come in.

"We were on three hundred and seventy-eight," Henry told him.

"So... Three hundred and seventy-nine..." Warrick said, looking for it.

379. "The fizziness amuses me," is not an acceptable excuse to add more than the required three drops of hydrochloric acid to a rock to test for calcite.

The three looked down at Henry, who smiled sheepishly.

"But it's really cool," Henry told them.

"Who caught you?" Grissom asked.

Henry looked away.

"Who?"

"Brass."

"Brass caught you? And he told you not to do that?"

"Not exactly."

"Brass knows something about geology?"

"Not exactly. He asked me what I was doing. I told him, then I showed him, then I showed him four more times. He looks at me and asks, 'So this is acid you're putting on this rock that's evidence, right?' I told him yes. He asks, 'And every time you put this acid on the rock, doesn't this ruin the evidence?'"

"And you said?"

"I didn't. I put the acid down, washed off the rock, put it down, and went to do something else."

The three laughed.

"And knowing Brass that was probably the smartest answer you could have given that question," Nick told him.

"Who put that one up there?" Grissom demanded.

380. Beware of the "Grissom Junk Food" detector.

Nick and Warrick laughed heartedly.

"Which one?" Jason asked.

"Three hundred and eighty."

Jason turned, reading it. He looked up at Grissom. "Do you like junk food?"

"No."

"And you don't like it when we have it."

"Not in the labs, but I don't seek it out."

"You do if you find crumbs in the lab," Nick told him.

"That's because it's not allowed in the lab."

Nick and Warrick laughed.

"Who put that up there? I don't recognize the writing."

"Whoever put it up there, didn't want it to be recognized," Henry said. "There are hesitation spots. The lines are too accurate."

"And they retraced their previous strokes," Jason added.

The child's observation sobered made Nick, Warrick, and Grissom smile.

"I think our CSI are getting younger," Nick told Grissom.

"He did tell me he wants to apply when he turns thirteen."

"He can do that?"

"Yes. I just can't put him the field until he's eighteen."

"You can't put him in the field until he's ninety by law of brother," Henry told him.

Grissom looked back at him. "We'll see."

The two looked down at Jason when he giggled. He was watching them with a huge smile.

"What's so funny, clown?" Henry asked him.

Jason turned back to his drawing.

381. Even more items hereby banned from being brought into any crime scene: duck bills, large foam fingers, poker dealer visors converted to half face masks, drink pitcher hats, and various instruments stuck in various head orifices. Spoons worn on the nose, but not in the nose, are still allowed. (Catherine's handwriting)

"Catherine just won't let us have fun," Nick said, shaking his head. "Always cramping our style."

"If she didn't, I would. Why would she allow spoons, I wonder?"

Nick and Warrick just smiled.

"Do I want to know?"

"Not really," Warrick answered.

"Now I really want to know."

The two laughed. Nick pointed at the wall. "Hey, Greg learned something that day!"

382. Running away from a crime scene screaming in terror is only permissible if you are in eminent danger and not being pursued by a geriatric patient on a motorized wheelchair. (Greg's handwriting)

"What day?" Henry asked.

"We had a death at a retirement home that the paramedics said looked suspicious," Warrick began telling. "So I took Greggo with me and this really cranky old man in a motorized wheelchair kept smacking Greg with his cane when he wouldn't answer his questions. So he turned around and ripped the cane away from him. The man started screaming and threatening to sue and chased him off down the hall. That was the quietest crime scene I'd had in a while. Well... Except when Greg would run by and tell me to stop the guy."

The three were laughing so hard they were tearing up by the time Warrick finished.

"And you just left him?" Nick said.

"He was keeping the guy busy while I processed the scene. And he'd complained he hadn't gotten his run in that evening, so, you know, it worked out in the end."

"I'm sure he didn't see that way," Grissom said.

"Naw. He was all cranky with me after that. Can't understand why."

"Cuz you were picking on him and he didn't like it," Jason said.

"Huh... Maybe so, Jas."

"And is this another Greg moment?" Grissom asked.

383. "My elelator, not your elelator. I push da button, no you push da button," and 'Elelator go UP!' and 'Elelator go doooown da hole!" does not need to be said on every elevator ride in every building in Las Vegas!

"He's never done that to you?" Nick asked.

"No."

"Never?" Warrick asked.

"No."

"Not even once?" Henry asked.

"No."

"You are lucky," Nick told him. "That is enough to make me want to hurt him, then tell God he died of natural causes."

Grissom chuckled. "I think Doctor Robbins would be able to rebut that for God."

"Yeah, but I don't care about convincing Doctor Robbins. I just have to convince God."

"Some might call that blasphemy."

"Some have never had to spend seven calls in hotels having to listen to that shit!"

Grissom hesitated, and then nodded. "This is true."

"That's Brass for the next two. Think he's trying to tell us something?"

384. Murphy's Laws negate any and all local, state, federal, and natural laws.

385. Mother Nature does not want to be my friend and I should not taunt her during a lightening storm. (Brass' handwriting)

Warrick chuckled. "Well, lightening did hit his car three times last week"

"And they say lightening doesn't hit the same place twice," Nick said.

"That's not true," Grissom and Jason said together.

"And why isn't it true?" Grissom asked Jason.

"Because when lightening hits an object it excites the particles and causes them to align. This causes the object to be a more receptive conduit for the electricity by creating less resistance from point of strike to ground."

Grissom smiled. "Very good."

"You taught him that?" Nick asked.

"No. Mister Reeves did."

Nick and Warrick looked at each other, then Grissom.

Warrick asked, "Who the hell is Mister Reeves?"

"His science teacher."

Warrick looked down at the child. "Jas... What grade did you get moved up to last month?"

"Eighth."

Warrick looked over at Henry. He was cleaning a cut on his lip.

"Henry, this kid has skipped six grades since he started Mason Howe six months ago!"

"Yeah. I know. They just don't have a challenging curriculum, that's all."

"They're a prepatory school for Yale, Harvard, West Point. That's not challenging enough?"

"The private school I went to was known for Ivy League and John Hopkins graduates. It wasn't challenging for me either. I graduated from twelve grade by the time I was twelve."

"So what do you plan on doing when he graduates high school at age twelve?" Nick asked

"Hire a nanny."

"I don't want a nanny!" Jason said, looking up at him.

"Then pretend to be dumb."

"I don't want to pretend to be dumb!"

"Then deal with the nanny."

"You're mean."

"I'm your brother. I'm allowed to be mean."

Jason glared at him before turning back to his drawing. Henry looked up, finding the three staring at him.

"Oh, don't worry about that. We have those all the time. Next rule is Nick's doing. I heard about that one."

386. I will not tell a suspect their house is shaking because of a catastrophic earthquake and this is their last time to repent just to get them to confess, when in fact it is a passing jet causing the shaking.

Nick started laughing. He sat down on the edge of the table, shaking his head. "And she believed me. Ya know, Grissom, I cannot be responsible for a murder suspect that's the epitome of blond and stupid. And I don't put those two words in the same sentence lightly, but this woman must have lost brain cells from bleaching her hair too much."

"What did you do?"

"About six months ago, you sent me on that call out at Indian Springs, near the base. Well, this lady apparently hadn't been in the house – which was my first suspicion she hadn't killed her alleged ex-boyfriend – because when the jets started doing touch and goes, she freaked out. So I used it against her. I told her that and she confessed. Oh boy she was mad when she realized I'd made the whole thing up! She tried and tried to convince the DA she was responsible."

"Who'd want to be responsible for a murder?" Warrick asked.

"Did I mention she was stupid? Her so called best friend had her convinced that we'd shoot her on the spot if she didn't take the wrap for the murder."

"Wow!"

"That is a frightening display of gullibility," Grissom admitted.

"And here's Henry. Back to convince tourists that he is something he's not."

387. You are not Sasquatch's emissary for Nevada.

"Well, I figured I'm the new Nessie spotter, why not be Sasquatch's emissary?"

"We don't have mountains here," Warrick said. "Least not the kind they always go around spotting Big Foot in."

"Yeah, but Big Foot likes to take vacations at Angel Mountain. November through May, usually."

"Henry, one of these days, a tourist is going to clock you, and I'm going to laugh."

"That wouldn't be very nice," Jason said.

"You don't think so?"

Jason looked up at Warrick. "No!"

"Even if he lied?"

"No."

"But he just said you had to stay with a nanny."

"So. I'm not going to hit him for it. Neither should you."

"So there!" Henry told Warrick. "And apparently Warrick and this fake suspect of Nick's should go on a date. Isn't that your handwriting?"

388. I will not taunt an emu, llama, ostrich, or other livestock.

Warrick looked sidelong at him. "That's it. I'm keeping you away from explosions."

"Thank you."

"Damned emu."

"What about the emu?" Jason asked.

"It bit me on the butt. Stupid bird!"

"You were taunting it," Nick told him.

"I was not taunting it, Nicholas Stokes!" Warrick turned to Grissom, telling him, "I was trying to lure it away from the shelter. And then... Then that stupid llama started spitting at me. So I bail from the pen, and right into the one with an ostrich. Did you know those things are wicked fast?"

"Yes. I did."

"Well, I didn't until now. That thing was determined to get a chunk out of my rear end to."

"So is it safe to assume that you'll let other people clear the scenes now?" Grissom asked.

"If there's an animal involved, heck yeah!

"You know, if you read back a few rules," Grissom pointed out. "I believe Greg already came to that conclusion. I guess you didn't learn from his mistakes."

Warrick glared down at Grissom. "I don't know that I like you right now."

Grissom laughed.

"Did you hear this one about David?"

389. Lying to an officer that you're speeding to a crime scene in a LVPD vehicle will inevitably backfire when he goes to the scene to check your story. (David's handwriting)

"What did he tell the policeman?" Grissom asked.

"He was in the meat wagon, going home in a hurry, and told the officer he was going to pick up a corpse, and like a dummy, he told the officer the address of a recent call. So the officer went to that call, no David. He gave him a ticket and now he follows him everywhere around town."

"Lying is bad anyway," Jason commented.

"Lying is especially bad when you get caught," Warrick laughed.

"No. Lying is bad," Henry said.

Warrick looked at him and he stared at him with a hard look. Warrick suddenly understood – he didn't want Jason to get the wrong idea about lying.

"Yeah. Lying is bad," Warrick said.

"So is collecting multiple rock samples," Nick commented. "Man, I wish Greg were here. We'd be having all kinds of fun at his expense."

390. Collecting rock samples does not mean I should return with every rock in the suspect's yard, the suspect's neighbor's yard, rocks picked up along the way based on a 'pretty' scale, and any random rock found in the parking lot once I return.

"I thought we already were. I dunno, Grissom, he did bring you a nice little rock collection."

"Yes, but I only wanted ones that matched the ones we found in the victim's clothes and wounds."

"Yeah. But it was still a nice collection."

"I believe you might be missing the point. You actually made cadets do this?"

391. If the hole must be dug, I may not usurp my authority by ordering cadets to do it.

"For the rocks you told me to get rid of."

Grissom gave him a level stare. Warrick cracked under it, smiling.

"Naw. It was for soil samples. And yeah, I did. Until the training officer showed up and asked me for the paperwork. Which mysteriously disappeared."

Grissom shook his head. "It's a wonder I even let you three out of the lab."

"You did not just put me in the same category as Hodges there, did you?" Warrick asked.

392. "The black hole in the basement has eaten your results," is not a permissible excuse for missing lab results. (Hodges' handwriting)

"I meant Greg and Nick and you. Hodges is... Special."

"You can say that again," Nick said.

"Why?" Jason asked, looking up at Grissom.

"He likes me to notice things he does and sometimes causes more trouble than he's worth doing it."

"Oh. So he gets in the way?"

"Sometimes."

"Really, though? A black hole?"

"He said Henry got away with the ghosts."

"That was a year ago! What the heck?" Henry asked.

"I think he was hoping I might forget that part."

"I'm spiking his coffee with lemon juice tomorrow night."

"Ewww!" Nick laughed. "And you use so much that just swallowing it is enough o make you hurl."

Henry smiled.

"He did that to you?" Warrick asked.

"I unplugged all his equipment that you had to crawl into tight spaces to plug in."

"Wow, Nick. You really deserved that spiked coffee."

"And then Wendy did it for that one. People are so mean to me here."

393. Results are not to be copied and used for 'Dots and Boxes.' (Wendy's handwriting)

"Is that what happened to my trace results?" Grissom asked.

"By that's what happened you mean..." nick trailed off.

"It had lines all over it."

"Really? It did?"

"Nicky."

Nick smirked. "Greg did it."

"I don't think so."

"Hey, be nice to him. He stood up for us."

394. We are CSI; this stands for crime scene investigators, not 'crazy super interested,' or 'cranky shifty inbred,' or 'cuddly smiling iguanas,' or 'completely stupid idiot.'

"I thought crazy supper interested was good, myself," Henry told them.

"Yes, but that's not what CSI stands for."

"Not in some places of the world, however, I like to imagine that somewhere out there, it does. And cuddly smiling iguanas are, well, cuddly and smiling."

"Iguanas can smile?" Jason asked.

"No. Your brother is being mischievous tonight.

Jason laughed.

395. Any CSI or lab tech caught smuggling doughnuts past their supervisor will be reprimanded for lewd behavior. (Ecklie)

"So... Do you think Ecklie might like doughnuts a little?" Nick asked.

"He always has one from the box before he leaves, so yeah"

"Who doesn't like doughnuts?" Henry asked.

"I like doughnuts," Jason said.

"But I think Ecklie has an exceptional weakness for them. He always seems to be nicer after you give him a doughnut."

"Maybe it's the sugar. Maybe it does something to the demon within."

"Or maybe he just likes doughnuts," Grissom said.

"You ruined our fun," Nick told him.

Grissom glanced at Jason when he told Nick, "But there are certain things that cannot be kept secret here."

Nick glanced at Jason and nodded. It was always dangerous to talk about Ecklie around Jason. For some reason, he liked Ecklie – Heaven only knew why! – and despite Ecklie trying to shun him or ignore him, he still talked to him.

"Well the lab should be cleared by now," Nick said, standing up. "Better get back to work. You going home tonight?" Nick asked Henry.

"Yes."

"See you tomorrow. Bye Jason."

"Bye."

"Bye shorty," Warrick said as he left.

"Bye Green Giant."

Warrick and the child exchanged a smile.

Grissom rose, looking at the drawing Jason was doing. He walked around, staring at the space shuttle he had drawn. It was amazingly realistic.

"You're quite the artist."

Jason sat back on his legs, staring at it. He looked up at Grissom.

"I like drawing."

"That's good. I'll see you next weekend, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good night, Henry."

"Night."

Grissom left the two alone. Henry leaned on the table, closing his eyes. He looked up when Jason stroked his hair.

"We can go home now. I can finish that later."

"You sure?" Henry asked.

Jason nodded.

Henry got up and they left the room. They walked silently through Records and to the elevator. Henry let him tap the button and they waited.

"Henry?" Jason asked.

"Yeah?"

"When I graduate from college, can I really work here too?"

"I'm sure you can."

"Even if I'm not old enough?"

"How old were you planning on being when you graduated?"

"Maybe twelve."

"Oh. Well, that could pose a problem. We'll see when we get that far. College is still a ways off."

The elevator door opened and they got on. It started gliding toward the first floor.

"Should we jump?" Henry asked.

Jason nodded. They grabbed each other's hands and waited. The second before the elevator stopped they jumped. It was an optical illusion – their minds believed the elevator floor should be further away than it was, so when they landed, it felt like the car jolted and gave them a brief thrill when their stomachs flipped. The two brothers laughed as they walked off and headed home.