Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis

Lady Monozuki: This chapter was a pain to write. I think I restarted it about thirty times before I got it to the point where I was satisfied with it. Ah well, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. As is now mandatory, I hereby issue tissues to my readers. Thank you all for you reading and reviewing! You're the best. Enjoy!

Chapter Twelve: Revelation

Gen hung up the phone and sighed. It had been two months since they had split up and he felt as though he was the only one trying to work out the problems. He had tried to talk things out with Tezuka and Atobe, but got brief answers. It was heartbreaking to know that their years together meant next to nothing. He had talked to Syuusuke the most, but had hardly seen the other since he moved out of the apartment. It was up to him to fix their relationship, but he felt as though he deserved more than what he got.

A hand rested on his shoulder. He turned around to see his friend smiling lightly at him. He was grateful that Seiichi had taken him in after they decided to leave. Without his best friend, he was unsure of what would have become of him. Even if he did not want to admit it aloud, he was hurt and lost. He was surprised he could feel that way. After all, he thought that he would stop being lost after he graduated from school. He was very wrong.

"You shouldn't worry too much over their reactions. They're all trying to work out what they're feeling as well."

"I know," he said. "But it doesn't feel like it's enough."

"You were together for eight years and most of those were abusive. You can't expect the wounds to heal that quickly."

"You're right, as usual."

"Have you heard anything from Fuji?"

"No," he replied. "I thought that he would have called by now. I can only hope that he's taking care of himself. The last time we saw him, he didn't look so well."

"Do you think we made a mistake in letting him leave the apartment?"

He sighed. It was true that the only reason why Fuji had taken care of himself while staying with Yukimura was because his former captain had refused to let the other see Ryoma. Being in no position to argue, the other did as told. Now that Fuji was on his own, they had seen his health decline drastically.

"Once Ryoma wakes up, he should be fine."

"What about you? What are you going to do from now on?"

"I don't know. I value their companionship, but they do not seem interested in making amends."

"Again, that's their problem. You can only keep the door open and wait for them."

"Seiichi," he muttered.

"Yes?"

"Have I ever thanked you for helping me through all of this?"

"No, but seeing you recover from this heartbreak would be enough of a thanks for me."

He nodded. "I'm trying."

"I know you are," was the simple reply.

He watched silently as the doctor checked Ryoma and asked questions. His mind was still racing now that Ryoma was awake. There were several things that he wanted to discuss with his lover and try to figure out what they would do from here on out. The first item on his agenda was to apologize. He had let Ryoma suffer all of this time without considering the other's feelings. It was selfish of him and if he had manned up in the first place, they would have never ended up in this situation.

He noticed that Ryoma's eyes were staring at him. It wasn't the usual longing stare that he was used to, it was filled with concern. Did he really look that bad? His appearance was not something that he had put a lot of thought into when he thought it to be trivial in comparison to Ryoma being in the hospital. However, he never thought that he looked terrible.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Since your external injury has healed already, I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to leave the hospital in a few days. You will feel a little weak, but that is to be expected. Your body has been in one position for a long time so it will take a while to recuperate from that. I also recommend that you see a counselor for your psychological problems. Now, if you will excuse me."

"Thank you doctor," he said. He watched the man leave the room before making his way over to Ryoma. He grabbed the smaller hand. All of the sudden, his apology did not seem like enough. However, he knew that it was necessary. He opened his mouth to speak.

"You've lost weight," he heard. He blinked. That was something that he had not expected Ryoma to say. "Are you sick?"

So like him to worry about others before himself.

"I'm fine," he insisted. "How are you feeling?"

The other frowned. "Numb and foggy," Ryoma replied.

"Ryoma, I'm sorry. I know that I have done nothing that warrants your forgiveness. However, I want to make it up to you. I made stupid choices in the past, but I promise that I won't do the same thing to you again. I'm here for you from now on. B-But I will understand if you don't want me by your side."

"Syuu," Ryoma whispered. "I told you once before that I knew why you were acting that way. It hurt that you chose him over me, but I understood. All I want to know is why you didn't visit me for months."

"I was afraid. I know that's not like me, but after he caught me the last time…." He couldn't find the words to express exactly what he had gone through.

"He hurt you again," Ryoma finished for him quietly. "He must have hurt you badly for you to be afraid to see me. You never were concerned with the punishment before."

"No, I wasn't. Do you remember back in our junior high days where I would control the matches so that I would win?"

"Yes."

"I couldn't this time. I thought that if I kept my head down low, I could wait for the right moment to make a comeback. It never came and before I knew it, I was sucked into the sick game that he set up."

He saw that Ryoma had clenched his bed sheets. "What happened between you all?"

"We made our own choices. Tezuka stayed with him and Gen is currently living with Yukimura."

"His former buchou?"

Fuji was impressed that Ryoma even remembered who that was. It was no secret that their youngest loves was bad with names. He let a small smile grace his lips.

"Yes, he's been in contact with him and they maintained their friendship. I lived with them for a few weeks before I moved out."

"I see," Ryoma muttered. "Are you in contact with any of them?"

He shifted. Why did Ryoma care so much for the others when he was right here? Was it because they were absent that he wanted to know?

"Gen and I talk every once in a while. I haven't heard from him and Tezuka…Tezuka is my boss."

"I thought you were going to start working on opening your own photography studio. Why are you working at a law firm?"

"Because there were some expenses that I didn't calculate."

Like your medical bills or an apartment.

"Ah, how long are you going to work there then?"

"Until I have enough money to open a shop," he replied. "I don't want to work under Tezuka for longer than I have to."

"You really hate them don't you?"

"Yes," he replied, not bothering to hide the obvious venom in his tone.

"Syuu, they've all suffered. You can't hate them for that."

Why is he defending the person who drove him to this point?

He stared at the other, not bothering to make a reply. He knew that Ryoma would not tolerate for bashing their former loves. It was not in his nature, no matter what people thought of him. However, Fuji could not say the same thing. He wanted revenge. For years he and Ryoma had suffered and it was because of them that they even landed in this situation.

You were the one who did not do anything about it until after he almost died.

It was true. He wanted to pass all of the blame on others, but he held as much of the blame as they did. As much as he hated them for hurting Ryoma, he was just like them. He had made Ryoma wait and this was his punishment.

There was a long silence between them. All of his previous questions had disappeared, but one. He had to know the reason.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Ryoma flinched at that question. Fuji noticed that he seemed hesitant to answer the question. Now he was curious. He had thought that Ryoma would act differently after his suicide attempt. But the other had spoken almost as if it had not happened. However, now that he had brought up the topic, his posture had completely changed.

"I didn't want to try," he whispered. "I wanted to succeed."

To be continued…