"Harry I'm sorry"
Harry had looked up from the book he was reading in his father's old study when he heard the door open and smiled at his lover. She smiled back at him slightly and tightened her dressing gown around herself a bit more.
"I thought you'd gone to bed"
"I couldn't sleep" Nikki shook her head, walking over to him as he closed his book and placed it on the desk behind the armchair he was sitting on "Not while we were still not talking and that's possibly mostly my fault"
"Come here" Harry murmured, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her gently down onto his lap, Nikki snuggling closer to him as he kissed her and placed his other hand on her knee. "I love you"
"I love you, so much" Nikki nodded, smiling properly this time as Harry nuzzled her face with his and then made her giggle tearfully "I'm sorry I was a bitch"
"You weren't. I understand what you were thinking Nikki and I know I should have thought before I spoke but it was just a shock"
"I know" Nikki admitted "It just hurt me to think that you might believe I could do that"
"I don't, trust me Nikki I don't I promise" Harry assured her, stroking her cheek gently as he spoke and looking her straight in the eye.
"Do you hate Ada?"
"Hate is a strong word Nikki so no I don't hate her, but I can't look at her the same after this. I can understand her love for you, I can understand anyone's love for you but I always thought it was from afar"
"So did I" Nikki admitted with a small nod "I thought she had gotten over it but apparently not"
"But I do understand what it's like to be in love with someone and I feel sorry for her" Harry continued "I don't know what she's going through because when I think about being in love with you without being able to be with you it hurts so much"
"Oh Harry" Nikki whispered, leaning up and kissing him gently before she broke away from him "I don't know if it's love or just infatuation, I know she says it's love but..I just don't know"
"I don't think we ever will" Harry shook his head, turning his head and pressing a kiss to the palm of Nikki's hand that had been on his cheek and making her smile lovingly. "You're too nice for your own good sometimes Nikki but after everything it's a miracle that you are"
"I.." Nikki stopped and frowned, shaking her head and then smiling at him "Nothing, come on come to bed?"
"No, what were you going to say?"
Nikki sighed, knowing that Harry wouldn't let her go until she had told him, she was embarrassed to enlighten him though, knowing what his reaction would be.
"I just want people to like me" she whispered, not looking at him as she spoke "It's just a niggling thing in the back of my mind left over from when I first came here and started school those years ago but it's still there. I don't want to lose Ada because she likes me and she's my friend and..I just.." she shook her head and heard Harry sigh loudly "I want people to like me. Why do you think I gave dad and Gran all those chances? I just want them to.."
Harry placed two fingers over Nikki's mouth and she stopped talking, giving him a confused look.
"Nikki you have friends and you have people who love you, you have a family and we all love you. This niggling little feeling that's in the back of your mind is just a silly little thing that has no idea what it's going on about"
Nikki giggled when he said that and nodded before flicking her tongue over the two fingers Harry had on her mouth and smirking when he groaned at her.
"Nikki"
"Yes?" Nikki asked him innocently "We haven't made love in a while"
"Maybe we should amend that"
Nikki grinned triumphantly and climbed off his lap, Harry standing up and then scooping his lover into his arms, both of them laughing as Harry kissed her.
The next morning Gabriel had worsened again and had been unable to settle properly since he had woken up at seven o'clock. Harry and Nikki both knew that it was part of the infection but it was still horrible for them to watch their son in pain despite his medication.
"Nikki when Gabriel's better we should go to Oxford to sort things out with accommodation" Harry told his fiancé as he cradled the crying baby to his chest, Nikki sitting on the floor playing with Donovan who was grinning happily and clapping his hands every time she rolled the colourful ball towards him and praised him once he had learnt to roll it back to her.
"Okay" Nikki nodded "I suppose we'll have to start packing soon, I don't want to leave it until the last minute"
"Typical woman your mummy" Harry chuckled at Gabriel and looked back at his lover when she tutted loudly and mock glared at him.
"I'm being tactical, I don't want to do it at the last minute and then leave things. Especially when we have to pack for the boys as well. They'll probably have more things to take than we will combined" she giggled and Harry laughed, nodding in agreement as he sat down on the armchair, Gabriel quieting down in his arms as he succumbed to exhaustion. "And I want to see how large our living space is so we know how much to pack"
"I think the family accommodation is quiet big" Harry told her as he tried to remember the pictures on the walls at the university when they had been visiting before their exams "I think they have to be because it's not just people with babies to go there, people with toddlers or young children go there for their first year before moving out in their second"
"I suppose that's true" Nikki nodded, rolling the ball towards Donovan who missed it completely and had to crawl after it as quickly as he could, his parents chuckling at how awkward babies looked when they crawled sometimes.
"You should know by now that I'm always right"
Nikki just gave Harry a withering look and he pouted at her, making her giggle loudly and shake her head, thanking Donovan in sign language as he rolled the ball back to her.
"I can't begin to remember what we did with our time before we had the boys" Nikki groaned some time later when the twins were upstairs asleep, she and Harry collapsed onto the sofa together in relief.
"I know" Harry chuckled, looking down at where she had her head on his lap, he leant his elbow on the arm of the sofa and rested his head on his hand as he stroked some of her hair away from her face, smiling lovingly at her "Although we did spend a lot of time in bed"
"And other surfaces" Nikki murmured as she closed her eyes and Harry laughed.
"Yes and other surfaces"
"And to think I want more"
"Really?"
"Of course, when we're a bit older" Nikki smiled, opening her eyes to see Harry smiling happily down at her "We still need a princess for you to spoil rotten after all"
"That is true"
"Although another boy wouldn't be so bad" Nikki mused, thinking about it in her mind "With brown hair and your smile"
"And your eyes" Harry continued, his smile growing as he too imagined another child of theirs "Or a daughter who is the spitting image of you, but then again that could mean trouble because I would never be able to say no to her and there would be some protective daddy moments when she begins to attract boy's attentions"
Nikki was giggling at him all the way through his speech and Harry laughed along with her as he finished speaking.
"What?"
"Nothing" Nikki continued to giggle happily as she curled up slightly and shook her head "Absolutely nothing"
"You are absolutely beautiful" Harry then told her seriously and Nikki smiled happily up at him as he stroked her face gently. She sat up and turned so she was sitting next to him and then scooted onto his lap, Harry wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her lips.
"And you are extremely handsome, which must explain where our boys got it from, except their hair of course"
"I love you so much"
"I love you more" Nikki grinned and pressed her lips to his, running one hand through his hair as she did so before moving so she was straddling his lap, her other hand on his shoulder. Harry wrapped one arm around her back, slipping his hand up the back of her t-shirt, the other resting on her thigh. "Maybe we should go upstairs" she murmured against his lips and Harry nodded his agreement.
"I think that's a good idea"
"I think you should stay like this for me" Harry commented as he leant against the doorway of the bathroom, staring at Nikki who was laying naked in bed only her bottom half covered with the thin sheet.
"Oh really" Nikki replied, running her eyes over his equally naked form as she rested her arms above her on the pillow and chuckled "And why is that sir?"
"Because you are completely stunning" Harry shrugged as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, pushing away from the door and making his way over to the bed where he climbed back on and lay on his side next to Nikki.
"We need more condoms"
"Way to ruin the moment" Harry laughed and Nikki giggled at him, slapping his chest gently as she did so "But okay"
"I need a shower" Nikki then groaned, slapping Harry's hand away as it wandered from her stomach and over one of her breasts "And don't do that because we can't go any further" she giggled and sat up, the sheet pooling around her waist and making Harry groan.
"That's not fair"
"I'm not doing anything" Nikki laughed and rolled her eyes as Harry rolled onto his back and motioned to her body.
"I know, you're just you"
"Now I'm going to go and have a shower and you are going to get dressed"
"And why should I do that?" Harry smirked at her, raising an eyebrow as Nikki climbed off the bed and wandered over to the bathroom door completely naked.
"Because I'm resisting the urge to jump you again right now and we have no protection so I can't" Nikki giggled and Harry pouted at her "And also because the boys aren't going to stay asleep for much longer, especially Gabriel"
As if right on cue they heard one of their babies crying down the baby monitor, both of them laughing at the timing as Nikki opened the bathroom door, Harry climbing off the bed to quickly dress himself again.
"Take as long as you like" Harry called out to Nikki as he passed the bathroom door and then walked from the bedroom.