Chapter 3: Into the Abyss of Painful Memories

Santana stands in the corner of her room, frozen. She's staring, with wide eyes and pale face, at a worn photograph under the open doors of the closet. It's staring right back up at her – glaring at her, accusing her.

"Hey S?" Santana looks at the smaller version of her. Brown eyes were peering back at hers, wide with a question.

"Yeah, T?" Tiana, her younger sister reaches out, her arms raised. Santana chuckled, picking up the small girl. Santana was 10 at that time. Tiana was at a tender age of 5.

"I wanna be a doctor."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Well, S is gonna be a plower, right?"

"Lawyer, Tiana. Not plower." She said, correcting her little sister.

"That. And it means that you gonna be the superhero of good people, right?" Santana nodded. Tiana looked at her, her eyes smiling.

"But superheroes get hurt too. I wanna be a doctor so I can be your superhero when you get hurt by the bad guys." Santana's heart swelled. It was the sweetest thing Tiana had ever said to her. She pulled the small girl to her chest.

"Have I ever told you how smart you are?" Tiana answered her with a giggle.

/

Santana, 14, was crying on her bed, grieving her first breakup with a boy. They were together for 9 months, her first serious relationship. Her first everything. Everything.

Santana had refused to eat anything for the past few days. Not even Quinn could drag her out of her room. She couldn't even drag herself out of the room. Just as the sobs were renewed with intensity, her door cracked open. She was about to snap at whoever was on the door when she saw Tiana. They stared at each other for a full minute, her sister's face was expressionless. She moved towards the bed, cautious and uncertain. When Santana's cries got louder, all doubt vanished from the 9-year-old's face.

Tiana removed her shoes and climbed on Santana's bed. The girl did nothing to push her sister off. She had a broken heart not an ice cold one. She waited for Tiana to say something. But the smaller girl did not utter a single world. She curled up on Santana's side, her back pressed against her sister's front.

Her sister stayed with her until the sobs turned to sniffles. And when the tears stopped, she faced Santana and gave her a soft smile. She got up and tugged at her arm. It was her first real meal after four days of being locked up in her room.

/

The fire was licking her back. It hurts and tears streamed down Santana's face. She had to find them. A block of wood fell behind her, grazing her already injured back. She let out a scream of pain. She wanted to give up. She wanted to give in to the calls of death. But no. She can't. She won't. She had to find them. She kicked open her sister's room. Nothing. More fire. She was about to leave when a picture caught her eye. It was the two of them in a playground, her sister clinging to her leg and both had a big smile on their faces. Santana picked it up. More tears flowed.

She can't stop now. They might be alive. No, they had to be alive.

Santana limped her way to where the kitchen used to be. Nothing. She was running out of hope and her body was screaming in pain. Willpower kept her going and she practically crawled her way to their burnt living room. She was about to give up and just lay there, the smoke was suffocating her. She could hardly see anything and everything, their whole life, her home, was falling. She was about to live when she caught sight of familiar brown locks. Santana's eyes widened and she pulled herself together and gathered as much strength as what was left in her. She limped as fast as she could to her sister, wishing with all heart that she was still alive.

What she saw next is something she wants to erase forever from her memory – not just bury it at the back of her head and lock it up. She wanted to erase it, burn it, whatever it takes to get it out of her head.

In front of her, lies Tiana. Her body was burned, not a single patch of skin was spared. Santana put a hand on her mouth, trying to push the bile back down where it came from as her eyes traveled to her sister's face. Her mouth was open in shock, frozen and burned by the fire still licking her there.

But most of all, Tiana's dead, lifeless eyes were staring at nowhere. But to Santana, she was staring right at her.

Santana lets loose a blood-curling scream.

"What's taking her so long?" Quinn asks Caleb. They were sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for Santana who told them that she had to go back to her room to get her sweater. Brittany, who was invited again for their everyday lunch thing is lounging on the recliner next to Quinn and Caleb. The guy shrugs. His eyes are closed, his head on Quinn's lap. Stress is written all over his face and he frankly, he wants nothing more than to rest. Brittany was in a similar position and Quinn thinks that both seriously had to take a day off. The silence is ringing.

And the scream slices through the air, piercing their ears and wrenching their hearts.

Calebs eyes snap open and he nearly falls off the couch. Without hesitation, he hurls his body toward the direction of the scream, already dreading the image he would see. All annoyance and hunger disappears from Quinn's face and she follows Caleb, dragging a startled Brittany behind her. She needed something to anchor her because she's not so sure if she can handle what they were about to see. She not sure if she'll be able to stop herself from breaking down. She's not sure if she is strong enough to be the friend Santana needs.

"What's going on?" Brittany asks, confusion in her face. "Was that Santana?" Worry is evident in her voice and she was about to ask more questions when they reach Santana's bedroom door. Caleb bursts right in but Quinn hesitates, gripping Brittany's wrist a little harder. Brittany senses the gravity of the situation and she forcefully pushes back her questions and waits for Quinn to lead them inside.

Caleb's entire being fills with dread for his friend when he saw her on the floor, curled up in a tight ball. He takes one glance at the picture of Santana and Tiana and then at the girl who seemed to want to disappear completely from this world. He drops on his knees, taking Santana in his arms. Quinn appears right beside him, her eyes raking through the Latina's body to check if there were physical injuries. Brittany stands beside them, shell-shocked. She thinks that she's never seen anyone appear so broken before and her heart breaks for Santana.

"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop… T. Oh God, stop. Stop. St-…" Santana could not even finish the word when the sob rips out of her throat. Caleb pulls her tighter in his arms.

"Shh, it's okay. San. San, it's okay. You're okay." Caleb whispers. "Q? Can you help me get Santana to the couch? Brittany? I'm so sorry you have to see this but can you ready the couch for us?" Brittany snaps out of her daze and nods dumbly, grabbing a pillow and Santana's blanket from her bed. Caleb gathers Santana, lifting her as he pushes himself up. Quinn is there to steady them and they make their way to the couch where Brittany is frantically setting everything in order.

It takes a while, but Santana finally cries herself to sleep. Quinn and Brittany are in the kitchen when Caleb finally manages to untangle himself from the devastated Latina. Quinn looks up immediately and is in his arms before Caleb can offer her a small smile.

"How is she?" she asks, her voice muffled by his t-shirt. Caleb puts his shaking arms around her, traumatized by what just happened.

"She's resting now." Brittany moves forward and hesitantly opens her mouth to ask a question.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what's going on but is Santana going to be okay?" Caleb and Quinn hold on to each other for a few more seconds, drawing strength from each other this time for the girl who did not deserve to be thrown in the middle of the incident. Quinn reaches for the other blonde's hands and her lips quiver when Brittany squeezes by instinct.

"We honestly don't know, Brittany."

Brittany is standing in the balcony. The rain is pouring and she is soaked to the bone. But she couldn't care less. As a matter of fact it's the last thing in her mind. Tears are pouring down her face, mingling with the cold droplets of rain, creating the façade that she was simply looking up at the cloudy skies.

"Santana doesn't have a family anymore. She lost them to a fire, a year and a half ago. I took her in, I couldn't let her be alone after what had happened to her."

"I met Santana in a bar downtown. She was trying to drink herself to death and when I got her home to Quinn, that's when she broke down. I've been friends with them ever since. Santana's face twisted by an agony I will never understand was burned in my head. I just knew that she needed somebody and though she does have Quinn, I wanted to be there. I wanted to help in any way I can."

"You don't know how much we've told her that. But she says she doesn't need anyone – that she'll be fine. But here we are, a year and a half later, and she's getting worse."

"I usually do things I regret afterwards but inviting you over for lunch the first time isn't one of those. I don't know why but she seems to relax whenever you're around. It's rare to see her smile and believe me when I say that I'm ready to jump in the air with joy when she chuckles."

"We may be asking too much from you, Brittany since we've known each other for less than a week but from now on, can you be there when we're meeting up for lunch or when Caleb and I can't make it?"

"I don't know, Britt. But you being there is definitely a good thing so just be there, I guess."

Brittany had accepted the offer, Santana's terrified brown eyes plastered in her mind. She immediately understood why Caleb couldn't stay away and mind his own business. When she first met Santana, her eyes were guarded, wary, exhausted. It made her want to get to know her better. It made her want to understand why. And then after lunch, her heart fluttered when she met her eyes and noticed that suddenly, they were soft but sad. It made her want to reach out and take the girl in the circle of her arms. The want made her feel weird and she brushed the thought aside. And then just hours ago, she was introduced to another Santana. Brown eyes were wide, terrified, and Brittany thought she could almost see the fire that she was seeing. It shook her to the core and that's why here she is now, crying for someone she barely knew.

Santana's ordeal not only broke her heart but it was able to plant something deep within Brittany. It makes her want to make everything better for Santana. It makes her want to do exactly what Caleb told her to do: to be there for her. The desire to fix Santana is overwhelming and Brittany thinks it's ridiculous and illogical. After she got back from Quinn's house, she tried to make sense of the tingling feeling in her stomach telling her that she's not where she's supposed to be. But now, standing in the rain, tears pouring for a person she hardly knew, Brittany decides that nothing else matters other than the fact that she needed to be there for Santana. And that may she be damned if she's perfectly capable of doing something for the brunette but she was too much of an idiot to not do anything.

Through the tears in Brittany's eyes, piercing and blue pools spots the sun peeking behind a massive gray cloud giving off the first ray of sunlight after the storm. She wanted to be that ray and so much more for Santana.

It's completely illogical, irrational, and for some, stupid. But the fire's already burning in her eyes, driving her entire being to reach out before it's too late.

A/N: I know this chapter is comparably shorter than the others but so far it's been the most difficult to write. The experience was terrifying and painful and gosh, please please tell me what you think. I'm begging here.

Brittana (they're soulmates),

theangel1710