Chapter 6: Falling

Friday rolled around faster than what Santana had expected. Before she knew it, she was back to living her old life. Nightmares came back full force and this time, the screams would continue long after she cracks her eyes open, coming back to a reality no better than her nightmares. It felt like something is taking revenge on her for having a dreamless sleep for one night. Something's trying to remind her that this hell is her life.

"Yo, Lopez, we on for tonight?" Puck says, his voice soft so as not to startle her. Their hearings had just ended and they were free from lunch onwards. Santana stands beside him, fixing paperwork and trying not to fall asleep. She looks up with tired eyes and though Puck would never admit it, the look in her eyes – the lack of life – scares him more than the thought of death. She gives him a sheepish smile and Puck cringes at how it looked like smiling was painful.

"Uhm, I kind of have a date with this girl for lunch and I'm not sure if she has plans for tonight." Santana feels her heart flutter slightly at the thought of a certain blonde. She shrugs it off. She fights the feeling.

"Bring her along then!"

"No."

"Why not?" Puck's smirking at her and Santana sighs.

"I don't want her to meet you." She deadpans. The mohawked guy laughs loudly.

"Oh come on, Santana! It's not like I'm going to steal her from you!" Santana grimaces. Why is it that everyone thinks that she likes Brittany? Okay, maybe she does. A little bit. But she's not that obvious, is she?

"No."

"At least ask her!" Puck's pouting now and Santana hates nothing more than grown men pouting.

"No."

"First round's on me."

"No."

"I'll buy you a dance."

"No." I don't need one, you idiot. She's a dancer!

"I won't ask you out for a week." Santana's raises her eyebrows, the idea of walking through the halls of the firm without Puck trying to get her to agree to a date or to let him in her pants was appealing.

"Two weeks." Puck's jaw drops open, but there's a smirk on his face.

"Fine. Deal." He holds out his hand and Santana reluctantly extends hers. "Same time, then?" Santana turns his back on him and waves him off. Puck chuckles heartily.

On the outside, Puck may be the kind of guy who doesn't settle. He may be the kind of guy who would spend every night of his life in a strip club if he could. He may be the kind of guy who mocks the concept of love – the guy who can't quite voice out his feelings. But if anyone wanted to know why he wanted the tradition of drinking on Friday nights to continue with Santana, he'd stare them down and say:

"It's the only time she allows herself to cry."

"Hey." Caleb greets Quinn as soon as she enters his car. He knows he's probably smiling like an idiot right now but he couldn't care less.

"Hi." Quinn flashes him a smile.

"How was your day?"

"Same as always. Yours?" Quinn watches Caleb's grin grow impossibly wider

"It's going to be the best day of my life." He replies, eyes twinkling.

"Future tense?" Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"Yup. My day started when I saw your face. And I can tell, today's going to be great." Quinn blushes and she finds herself grateful that Caleb has to concentrate on the road.

"Hi, sorry I'm late." Brittany bounces to meet her. They're standing outside their usual restaurant and Brittany's stomach is filled with butterflies.

"'S okay. Let's go in before we lose sits." They move to the restaurant and luckily, they get a table at the less populated spot in the restaurant.

"I have a question." Brittany says as soon as they settled and ordered. Santana looks at her, curious.

"Shoot."

"Do you, by any chance, have something to do with Mason suddenly leaving the group?" Brittany's face is expressionless. Santana's blood boils at the sound of the bastard's name.

"Did you know someone's trying to take advantage of Brittany?" She all but shrieked to Caleb. The poor guy had to hold his phone away from his ears for fear of his eardrums shattering. And then, he begins to process what the Latina just told him and instantly, the phone's pressed painfully against his ear.

"What?"

"Yes, you idiot. How could you not know?" Santana takes a deep breath knowing full well what her temper is capable of. On the other hand, Caleb waits for her to get back on her game. He feels frustrated that he never caught word that someone had the actual balls to lay a hand on Brittany. The girl was too nice for her sake.

"What's the bastard's name?" Caleb asks through gritted teeth because even though he rarely loses control of his temper, he's no better than the fiery Latina.

"Mason." Santana growls out. Caleb flashes through a memory of a cocky guy who flirted with his secretary who was simply disgusted when he whispered his name in her ear. He wanted to give the guy a chance but this was too much.

"He's going."

"I want someone to dump his ass on the sidewalk. Or better yet, I want him flying and landing on a highway full of trucks."

"I can arrange for that." Caleb can almost see the evil smile on Santana's face.

"Good." Santana pauses. "Sorry I snapped at you." Caleb laughs.

"What's new? I know how you get protective of the people you love."

"I don't love her!"

"No. Not yet anyway. But you like her." Caleb smirks. "You don't need to get embarrassed. I'd totally react that way if someone ever even laid a hand on Quinn." Santana sighs, recognizing the signs of fighting a losing battle.

"I have to go, I have 5 minutes to get to my meeting."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks again, you hopeless sap."

"Yeah, yeah. Anytime, you secret romantic." Caleb hangs up before Santana can get a witty remark out.

"So, yeah. I guess I had something to do with that." Santana concludes the story.

"You know, you didn't have to do that." Brittany's looking at her with something in her eyes that made Santana feel all good-weird inside.

"I know. I don't regret doing it. That son of a bitch got what he deserved." Brittany chuckles at her, her cheeks slightly tinged with pink.

"You made Mike's day. You gave him the chance to live out his dream of throwing him out for good." Brittany suddenly looks bashful. "In a way, you kind of made my day too."

"Oh, yeah?" She chances a glance at Santana and sees the smug smirk on her face.

"Totally." She admits. "Thanks." Santana's smirk melts into a warm smile. Before she could say anything the food arrived and they both dived in. They ate lunch in comfortable silence and as soon as they were done, they decided to go to the park.

"My drinking buddy, Noah Puckerman, wants you to come with us later tonight for our weekly drinking sessions. You okay with coming with me? It's totally okay if you don't want to though." Santana says as they take their time walking around the park. Brittany beams at her, relieved that her day with Santana doesn't have to end so early.

"I'd love to." She says and Santana looks away to hide the flush spreading in her cheeks.

"Favorite color?" Santana suddenly blurts out when they finally sit down on one of the benches facing the sea. Brittany looks at her surprised at first. But then a goofy grin splits her face and Santana looks bashfully on her hands.

"Brown. You?"

"It depends."

"Well, what is it today?"

"Blue." Brittany chuckles, looking out at the calm sea.

Where are you from?"

"Ohio." Brittany abruptly turns to look at her, a surprised expression on her face.

"Really? I'm from Lima, Ohio!" Santana smiles a small smile, not really fond of remembering where she came from.

"Lima Heights Adjacent."

"Wow. Small world." Thankfully, Brittany doesn't pursue the topic. "Hmmm, I prefer milk over chocolate."

"Coffee." Santana deadpans.

"I don't get hangovers."

"I often get the mother of all hangovers." Santana chuckles quietly.

"Beer."

"Vodka."

"I love snow." Brittany says. She waits for Santana to reply but when she doesn't, she looks at her. The brunette is looking up at the heavens, a solemn expression on her face. The blonde scoots closer, willing Santana to tell her something. Santana then looks at her, eyes guarded but sad.

"I hate rain." She starts and then looks at the water.

"Really? Why?" Brittany asks, curious.

Santana's face scrunches up in concentration as she tries her hardest to get the words out. She feels Brittany put a comforting hand on her thigh, squeezing softly. She understands the gravity of Santana's confession and she feels honored, among many other feelings, that the brunette is making an effort to let her in to a fact about herself. Santana's heart bursts at the action, grateful of the understanding shining in blue eyes. "Rain… When it falls… It… I…" Santana stammers.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready yet." Santana shakes her head slowly, trying to clear the fog of fear clouding her mind.

"I want to tell you. I have to tell you." She croaks. If Brittany asks why, Santana has no answer. But the blonde doesn't question her and instead opts to wait for her patiently. Santana feels grateful for that. She takes a deep breath, wills her heart to stop thudding painfully against her chest, and looks into bright, blue pools looking back at her with all the patience in the world.

"When it rains, I feel like it's mocking me." She pauses and turns to look somewhat accusingly at the heavens. "Raindrops fall effortlessly, painlessly. It pulls me back to grief when I'm already trying like hell to break away so I can live a life that can be described in any other way aside from shit. I used to love it. I'd go out of the house and play under the rain. I used to think of it as freedom. But now, there's a voice at the back of my mind reminding me that rain wasn't there when I needed it most." The wind blows and Santana laughs bitterly in her mind, thinking that her life has turned it to a tragic movie complete with wind effects.

Santana's not looking at her but Brittany manages to catch the look in her eyes. Pain. Bitterness. Grief. Brown eyes are suddenly gray and dull and the blonde misses them instantly. Her heart is aching for the human being next to her and Brittany feels the sudden sting of tears at the corner of her eyes. She swallows them back because she knows she has to be strong for Santana. So instead of sobbing like what her heart wanted to do, she reaches out for Santana's clenched fists. She slides her fingers under tense fingers and presses her palm against Santana's. Slowly, carefully, as if she's asking for permission, she fills the lonely gaps with her fingers, interlacing them together.

Santana feels a soft hand gently prying her hand open. The touch instantly relaxes her and she acquiesces to Brittany's silent request, watching a pale hand tangle itself with her shaking fingers. Just when Brittany squeezed, she finds the courage to look at her. The sight that greets her pierces through her core and her breath hitches.

Brittany is looking at her not with pity and a face that says she's sorry. For once, someone, Brittany, looks at her like she's already lifting a part of her burden. There's empathy, a ghost of her pain swirling in blue sincere eyes. Tears are at the corner of the blonde's eyes – the tears that she's supposed to be crying. She feels her walls crumble and suddenly, she's vulnerable. Suddenly she's weak. Suddenly it's okay for her to suffer. Brittany won't force her to be strong all the time. She's sure that to Brittany, tears aren't a weakness.

Santana loses the weak strength that keeps her barely upright. She lets herself accept this moment. She leans her head on Brittany's shoulder. The blonde lets her and together, they watch the world continue to move, oblivious to the merging of two souls.

Quinn can't breathe. Caleb had taken them on top of the nearest mountain right after lunch. The drive was two and a half hours long that when Caleb finally led her to a clearing, it was almost time for the sunset.

It was absolutely beautiful.

Caleb smiles warmly at her awed expression. He takes her hand and leads her to a blanket he'd laid on the ground. Quinn lets him lead her, unable to take her eyes away from the abstract of orange, pink, blue, and yellow that was the sky.

"Do you like it?" Caleb asks her hesitantly.

"Like it? Are you crazy?" Quinn's looking at him like he's grown two heads. "I freaking love it! Caleb, how in the world did you find this place?" Caleb grins at her sheepishly and scratches the back of his head. Adorable crosses Quinn's mind.

"I was seventeen when I first stumbled into this place. I took my mom's car driving to no apparent direction. And then, somewhere along the road, I got tired of driving and decided to walk instead. That's how I found this. Every now and then, I'd come up here when life gets too stressful at times. I wanted to share it with you." Quinn's heart is doing something weird to her and she's sure she's blushing like an apple right now.

Quinn moves to lay her head on Caleb's lap, turning her head so that she's facing the view. Caleb instantly runs his fingers through blonde hair and he can't help but admire Quinn. There's no doubt that she's beautiful, smart, kind. But there's something in her that draws him in. It's like something's tugging him to her and along the lines of resisting, he found that he wants to give in to that tugging sensation. The blonde hair, green eyes, dazzling smiles, musical laugh – Jesus, it's just as Santana says. He's become a hopeless sap. Then again, he'd always been a mess of jelly and butterflies whenever Quinn's around. And he realizes, right now, while threading his fingers through soft hair, that she's what's missing in his life.

"Q?"

"Hmmm?" Quinn hums her reply, too content to move. Caleb's fingers are soothing and she thinks she can live her entire life like this and it would be perfect.

"I love you." Quinn's eyes shoot open. Sure, she knows that Caleb likes her. But love? Caleb is smiling down at her without any hint of doubt and expectation on his face.

"I love you and you don't have to say it back. I know you're scared. But I'm not Finn, not Sam, and certainly not Mark. If there's one thing I can't do but they were able to, it would be to leave you. Sure, at one point or another I'm gonna screw up and I'm most likely going to hurt you. I can't promise to be perfect because I'm not. But I love you. I love you and someday, I'd like to spend the rest of my life proving it to you." Caleb says, green eyes never wavering.

For the second time in a day, Caleb was able to take Quinn's breath away. Her heart fills with something she's still afraid of identifying. She moves to sit up. Caleb lets her position herself between his legs and he wraps an arm around Quinn's waist. Quinn presses her back against his strong chest and buries her face against his neck.

"Thank you." Caleb presses her to him a little tighter, a big smile on his face.

Quinn may not be able to say I love you back. She may not be ready to face to risks of getting hurt and being left behind. But someday, she will overcome her fear and let Caleb know that she loves him too with everything she has to offer.

"I thought you ditched me." Puck says as soon as Santana and Brittany enter the Henessey's Bar.

"I was tempted to." Santana replies. Her right hand is firmly clasped with Brittany's left and Puck raises an eyebrow. "Brittany, Puck. Puck, Brittany." Brittany extends her free hand to shake Puck's and Santana thanks the heavens that the guy has enough decency to smile normally at her.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Brittany says.

"Yo! I see Lopez here managed to drag you. Did she threaten you?" Puck says, laughing when Santana smacks her arm.

"No, thank you very much." Santana quips. Brittany blushes.

"She, uhm, just asked me." Puck feigns shock.

"Oh my, Santana, you're an angel now?" Brittany chuckles beside her, squeezing her hand to comfort her.

"Okay, that's it, we're leaving."

"Oh come on, I was joking here!" Santana huffs dramatically.

"First round's on you."

"Cheap bitch."

"Dumbass." They move to sit at the bar and Puck orders drinks. Apparently, the bartender knows them all too well that even before Puck finishes ordering, three beers for starters are already sliding towards them.

Somewhere along the night, and more than a couple shots of tequila, Brittany's already on the dance floor. And Santana watches her from the bar. Brittany's moving with grace as if there was no alcohol clouding her mind. She's dancing with the beat, every move corresponding to every note of the music.

"Dance with her." Puck says, sitting beside her. Santana thinks that the woman he must have been flirting with got too disgusted to let him touch her. Santana chuckles and Puck glares as if knowing the thoughts running through her head. Santana spares him a look of amusement and then she's back to staring at the blonde beauty currently owning the crowd.

"No, thanks. I'm too drunk to have proper coordination to move even half of how she's moving. And I just can't rock the flailing idiot reputation." Santana says, taking a sip from her fifth or sixth bottle of vodka.

"Can't blame you. That girl is something." Puck says, chuckling heartily.

"Yeah. She is." Santana says and Puck, tipsy but not drunk, picks up on the change of atmosphere and tone. He peers in a not-so-subtle way in the eyes of the Latina.

"Uh oh. I know that look."

"What look?" Santana says, keeping her eyes on Brittany.

"That look. You're in love with her!" Santana faces him abruptly.

"I've only known her for a month, you idiot. I'm not in love with her." Puck scoffs.

"Ever heard of love at first sight?"

"No, Puck. Just. No."

"Okay, maybe you're not in love with her yet. But you sure as hell like her." Santana blushes. "Ha! You do! So what's the plan, stud?" Santana looks away from him.

"There is no plan." Santana says, quietly. This time, Puck fails to note the change and is now looking at her, exasperated.

"What do you mean, there is no plan? She's hot. And if I didn't know any better, I'd say she likes you too. Someone like that can't wait for forever for you." Santana ignores the flutter of hope in her chest. She feels her shoulder drop.

"It means exactly what it means, Puck." She pauses. "I can't hurt her." She mutters quietly, cursing the alcohol for making her lose the ability of lying.

"Lopez, lemme tell you something. One way or another you're going to hurt her. So why not have something with her so that when you do hurt her, it'll be easier to heal her?" Puck says.

"That did not make sense at all. Besides, look at her. And then look at me." Puck does and he smirks.

"I see two hot ladies and an opportunity of a threesome." He states bluntly, earning a rather hard smack at the back of his head.

"Seriously. Go get laid."

"Mind joining me? OW! You have to stop doing that." Santana shrugs. Emotions are running unhindered in her system and she takes a deep breath trying to sort out the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings.

"Puck, I can't hurt her." This time, panic laces her voice.

"Why?"

"She doesn't deserve it. She's perfect. I'm exactly the kind of person who can shatter her and I can't do that. She's happy, I'm miserable. She's kind, I'm a bitch. I like her. Like I can fall in love with her and shit like that. But I'm not crazy. Not yet, anyway. I'm not about to drag someone to my own personal hell just because I'm too much of an idiot to deal with it. That's why, I'd rather she leaves than be forced to stay." Santana says. Puck looks at her, incredulous.

"You're whipped." Santana glares at him. "Why don't you let her choose then? It's her life. Not yours. What if the only way that she can be completely happy is by staying with you? What if her life isn't perfect without you in it? What if she chooses to deal with your shit instead of living her perfect little life? What if you pushing her away, kills her? You're not cancer, Santana. You deserve a life too. And she deserves whatever the hell she chooses." Santana hopes that she doesn't look too shocked but judging by the way Puck's smirking smugly at her, she probably does.

"Since when did you become wise?"

"I've always been wise." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Maybe it's the alcohol."

"Aww, come on Satan. Feed my ego here."

"You know what ego means?"

"Low blow, bitch." Santana chuckles at the fake hurt on his face. "Thanks though. I'll – I'll think about it." Santana smiles a small sincere smile and Puck's looks at her kindly. It's best he can get out of Santana.

"Time to get laid. The girl over there's been winking at me." Puck reverts back to his usual self and Santana chuckles.

"Have fun."

"Sure will."

"You're disgusting."

"And you're in love."

"Ugh, just go." Puck gets up ungracefully, stumbling his way to a brunette. Santana shakes her head and turns back to the bar.

What if her life isn't perfect without you in it?

Santana laughs bitterly. She bets that Brittany's life would be just fine without her in it. After all, who would want a fucked up person in their lives? She imagines Brittany with some guy, her blue eyes seeming only to see that guy, her smiles bigger when he's around, getting married, having kids. And it hurts like hell. Her heart breaks at the thought and she thinks that she's in deep shit for getting jealous of an imaginary guy. But she tells herself that it's better than the image of a broken Brittany, a crying Brittany – the Brittany she might create.

It's better to keep her heart broken that to break Brittany's.

Suddenly, warm arms circles her waist and she nearly jumps out of her skin at the sudden contact.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Brittany whispers huskily against her ear and Santana gives an involuntary shudder. Before she can do something to reciprocate the show of affection, Brittany lets go of her and flops down on the seat next to her. Santana takes this as an opportunity to look at Brittany and she feels her soul trying to push her towards the blonde. She reins it in and she settles on drinking in the image of the blonde dancer. Brittany looks like she's going to fall from where she's seated and Santana can't help but chuckle at the adorable image. The blonde's eyes light up at the sound like they always do and Santana pushes the hope down.

"Jeez, Britt. No more for you." She orders water from the bar and gives it to Brittany who gratefully downs the drink.

"You okay? You looked kind of lonely here." Brittany says as soon as she finishes the drink.

"Yup. You?"

"I've been having fun! But I'm kind of tired."

"Yeah, with all your awesome dancing I suspect that much." Brittany blushes cutely. "You can crash at my place, I'm not about to let you go home in that state." Brittany smiles at Santana's protectiveness. The brunette leaves money on the table and soon they're on their way home.

Brittany could barely keep her eyes open by the time they stumble their way to Quinn and Santana's home. Santana's begun to sober up, the need to take care of Brittany pushing the alcohol to the back of her mind. She lets the girl crash on her bed and removes her shoes gently, trying not to wake her. Brittany says something incoherently and rolls to lie down on her stomach. Santana lets a smile creep on her face as she does something she hasn't done in so long. She tucks Brittany in and after a moment's hesitation, she leaves a feather-light kiss on the blonde's forehead. Brittany sighs contentedly in her sleep and Santana hopes that she won't remember anything of it when she wakes up. She tip toes to the door of her room, the couch will have to do for tonight.

She gazes at Brittany for a full minute, taking in everything that she can. After all, this is where she's supposed to be: away from Brittany. As every second passes, she falls a little more for the girl sleeping on her bed.

"San…" Brittany mumbles. Santana's heart hammers in her chest and she knows that she's gone. It's too late to stop herself from falling any further. Brittany gropes around on the bed trying to find something to clutch on. When her hands land on Santana's pillow, the girl squeezes it to her chest.

"Night, San." She mumbles to the pillow. Santana resists the urge to replace the pillow with her own body. She gazes at her a little longer.

"Sweet dreams, B."

She walks away.

A/N: I did not plan for this chapter to be so long. It kind of just unraveled itself. Again, you guys are awesome. The story alerts, the favorites, and most of all, the reviews. Thank you so so much! I hope you enjoyed the fluff in this chapter.

Tell me what you guys think? I'm kind of hoping to get the reviews to reach a 50. But I know I'm not that great but hey, I can dream right?

Brittana (is equal to fluff),

theangel1710