The Art of Insanity V
"A folded flag.
A purple heart.
A family all but torn apart.
And I fought with courage to preserve not my way of life but yours Carry on; don't mind me. All I gave was everything and yet you ask me for more. Fought your fight, bought your light. In return I lost my life. What purpose does this serve?" – Survivor Guilt by Rise Against
Alfred's look of terror immediately turned into a look of perplexity at the sight of Russia. His mouth flapped for words as his eyes weaved around the room in a fit of paranoia. He was looking for something. Something he feared.
"Russia," He gasped with a thick voice. "Oh fuck, Russia. Oh fuck. She came out of nowhere! Nowhere man! Nowhere! I was just all chillin' in my office and...and...and! It's not her! It's not Belarus!"
"I know." Russia whispered.
"And I can't stop her." Alfred slurred. "I can't stop her. I can't stop her. I can't stop her. And you know this don't you? Why are you here, Braginsky? Have you come to shove it in my face that I've been forced to my knees by someone I had thought as a close friend? Well, you pathetic, snivelling child of man! Why is your sister doing this? Why can't I stop her–"
"Mr. Jones?"
The voice of Rossi cut Alfred short. The nation stopped in his ramblings and turned violently. He was listening. If only for a moment or so, he was listening.
"I'm an agent sent from the F.B.I.."Rossi started slowly, "My associate and I have been employed to retrieve you." He was inching closer to the blond; fingers stretched forward as if he was approaching a foreign cat. "The whole home is surrounded. You're safe now–"
He was cut off abruptly by a sudden string of mocking laughter.
"I'm safe? I will never be safe. This whole world is unsafe. There is nothing left to be considered safe now. All has been destroyed." Alfred snorted the last part before his handsome face fell into slow confusion. "Who...Who the hell are you?"
"They're here to save you." Ivan clarified and America went stock still. His face morphed into something ugly and foreign and he scoffed. "Bullshit. I'm the hero, goddamnit. The hero does not need saving! I am the spandex-wearing superhero from the thriving city and I can damnwell save myself. So – gtfo."
From the sneer on his face, one would have never guessed that he had been seconds away from breaking down from unending paranoia only moments ago. David found himself somewhat stunned by the arrogant brat's rebuttal. This...This was the bane of Europe? This was the Great United States of America; the colony that forced the British Empire to its knees? Was he nothing more than a two-faced beast like the rest of his kind?
The creature before him almost utterly responsible for the downfall of the world economy was nothing more than a pigheaded nineteen year old with a slight weight problem.
No.
No, there had to be more. There had to be more to this sudden attitude. What was it? Was it because Alfred could not bear the thought of being saved by something other than himself or was it the fact that he was human?
On a habit, he leaned closer.
He was wrong.
Alfred was more than that. He was scared wasn't he? Frightened. Frightened of whatever his captor had done to him. Frightened of what was to come. Frightened of being unable to escape it all. And most of all, he was scared; he was scared of breaking into a million pieces like the thousands before him. He didn't want to shatter. He didn't want to just utterly break like a glass doll or come apart like a million threads tearing themselves apart.
"Arrogant." Russia sneered. His accented voice shattered the fragile atmosphere. "Pigheaded fool, Haven't you the simplest gratitude for them? They've risked their lives for you. To save you, their so-called hero. Their nation."
"As if you're one to talk about being something you're not! Acting so big and tooooough to the rest of the world while in the real reality you piss your pants every time your sister comes into the vicinity!"
Russia's eyes narrowed considerably; the violet slits glinting menacingly in the low lighting. "As do you, don't you comrade–" The Arctic Nation froze in his word. He had made a rare mistake. And a very dangerous one as well.
"Oh fuck." Alfred's voice darkened with fear. His psuedo-manly attitude evaporated immediately. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck me! She's still here. Russia, you fucktard, why the fuck are you still here. Get your fat ass in gear and back to the Sovietfuckland. Oh fuck, oh fuuuu–"
"No, no, no, America. You're okay. You're going to be okay, all right?"
Russia was bombing his self-acclaimed job in trying to keep Mr. Jones calm. Reid, even though he lacked normal human communication skills, lowered his fun and stepped forward with a hand raised.
"Mr. Jones, we're from the B.A.U–"
"B.A.U.? Alfred asked quietly. Reid nodded.
"The Bureau–"
"I know what it is. But um...Does Jason Gideon still work there?"
Reid shook his head sadly. "He...left due to some personal problems, Mr. America."
"I heard something had happened but I wasn't sure so I didn't–" Alfred's face suddenly drained of colour. "Did...Didya just call me America?"
Reid's face was one of confusion. He seemed dumbfounded at Alfred's reaction to his own title. Hadn't they already mentioned that they were from the Agency and that they knew who he was?
"That's who you are right? The United States of America?"
But Alfred does not reply. Instead, he turned furiously to Russia and spoke. His voice waned to a higher screech of paranoia with every word.
"You told them? You told humans? You told told! Don't you of all people know what happens to humans that know our secret!"
"Yes. I did." The Russian answered calmly before his own eyes go wide. "But you have to realise that there was no one else! England, France, Germany, China – fuck, even Finland – Spain, the Scandinavians, Portugal! No one wanted to help you my friend. It was only me and the moon. They wanted to see you break."
It was silence. Pure ghastly silence that hung dead in the air. There wasn't even a dying reverent to scratch and rip at their ears. Just silence. Eventually, America spoke up but his voice lacked a spark of life that normally came attached.
"What about Japan?"
"He too, but... He went farther than the others."
"...How so?" There was a strangled look that danced in Alfred's eyes from what Rossi could see. It was as if America did not believe the once-enemy's passionate words that spoke of the betrayal of his friends but also as if he could not believe it.
"He...attempted to thwart your rescue."
America chuckled awkwardly. "Kiku...Kiku wouldn't do that! We're bros!" Suddenly, his voice took a dive. His voice sounded cracked and stunted when he spoke next. "We're best...friends! Right?"
"He did it." Russia's own tone was ruthless. "He attempted and had nearly succeeded until Toris discovered the spare set of keys hidden behind the spices in your kitchen cupboard."
"You know, I always did wonder where that set went...But...But Russia, man come on. You have to be pulling my leg! It...It can't be true! It's, it's Kiku! He doesn't hold – well maybe he does, but I'm his bes – wait but aren't I more of a pain in the ass...? What...What the –" America cut his own-self short once more and went stock-still.
"Is something–"
"Shh, you fatass! Can't you hear it?"
Russia only frowned and began to listen. Then, his face went utterly white.
"O-Oh fuck." America whispered. He grabbed at his own hair violently and closed his eyes shut tightly. "It's her! It's her! Holy fuck, she's back. She's back. Russia, Russia, you need to...Get the fuck out of here!"
"I can't do that comrade." Ivan answered. "I made a pact with the moon that I would not abandon you."
"What? What, what, whaaaat? You gave your undying loyalty to a piece of rock stuck in earth's orbit? Ivan, this is fucking life or death here! Your sister will murder the both of us!"
Before Russia could answer, the two agents heard the sound that had sent Alfred into such a state of tizzy. It was an odd sound. The sound of...The sound of...Bouncing Balls?
"Do you hear that Reid?"
"What do you think it is?"
Rossi grimaced. "I really don't want to know."
"Alfred, you must calm down!" The sound of bone breaking was heard and Russia howled. Alfred shoved Russia and the Arctic nation flailed for support. He traipsed backwards and collided with Reid, sending them both to the floor in a heap of flailing appendages.
"What was that for?" David hissed to the nation.
America turned to him. His blue eyes are not bright and he cocked his head to the side.
"You've been tricked into this haven't you?" Alfred asked and the agent doesn't even get a moment to reply before Alfred scowled. "People seem to not realise that all is not as it seems. They're not going to break me."
"Even if you're scared of the person who seems to be doing this to you?"
His face morphed for a moment but then it stayed apathetic.
"Like I said. They're not gonna break me. Come at me bro."
He's like a child – this nation. Was he dealing with a possible case of split personality as well? He was so righteous at times and yet so uncontrolled at others. What was fuelling him. What was making his brain tick? David has so many questions to ask; so many ideas as to how this all was working out. But when he opened his mouth, America brought a tanned, shaking appendage to his quivering lips and turned his attention to the slightly ajar door he had come out of.
Boing, boing.
Boing, boing.
Boing, boing.
Boing, BOING.
BOING, BOING.
BOING –
Creeeeeeeeeeak.
The ajar door was pushed open and a face peered through in a curious fashion.
"Alfred..." The woman cooed, pushing the door open farther and stepping in. "Little Alfred, have you brought guests?"
She was a tall gorgeous beauty with a well sculpted form and chest. She had platinum blonde hair and a big nose. What stood out the most though was her eyes. They were a shade of violet – the same shade of Russia's.
She walked forward with a twirl of grace in her step.
"Alfred, Alfred, I've come to play and you're too busy! Oh my, do I have to punish you?" Her rough hands suddenly dart out for the American–
Rossi immediately intercepted. "I'm afraid I can't let you harm Mr. Jones no matter how pathetic he supposedly is."
A pale eyebrow had risen as the woman stepped forward calmly. She folded her hands in front of herself and rocked back and forth on her heels. "Oh, are you his friends? His government come to save the day? Oh Alfred! Oh little Alfred! All this time you've been telling me you'd save yourself from me! Oh little Alfred, you lied!"
"I did not lie!" He sneered. "I don't lie Ukraine! I didn't ask for this! It was your damn brother!"
Ukraine laughed violently. "Vanya? Vanya has done nothing! Vanya is better than you will ever be! It is your fault that Vanya is the way he is! It is your fault he is still climbing up that cliff from which he fell nearly a century ago! You are a liar, Alfred F. Jones!"
"I am a country built upon my truths of my grandfathers! I do not lie! I cannot lie! It is not within my very soul to lie! I will save myself Ukraine because I am not worthy of anything else! Ukraine, I am not a liar! If anything, it is you who is the liar here!"
"You dare to imply that I would do such a thing! You insolent brat–"
"Miss Braginsky! Calm yourself! There are much better ways to go about this!"
Ukraine turned upon Rossi with such a fierce look in her eye that she could have melted all the permafrost present in her brother's land.
"No, there are not! He is an insult to nations! He is an insult to our world! You do not understand! He has to be punished! He is not one of us!"
The room was silent except for Alfred's haggard breathing. Rossi sneaked a look at Russia to see nothing but the silent wall of ice that Russian had become.
"He is not one of us." Ukraine muttered darkly. "He is new world. He is of no right, of no grant, to butt into the affairs of the old. It does not matter if can help us out of our times of need. If we fall, then we fall! We do not need the hand of the New World shoved into our faces."
"You could have said something." America glowered. "I respect people and their pride! If you didn't want my help then you could have said so! But I don't control my government."
"You're America." Ukraine said in a happy voice. "You're the United States of America. Of course, you run the country! You are at the seat of the decisions they make, of the lives they destroy. You are the trophy of ivory they hold high all over the world! Of course you run your country!"
"Don't you watch my news? Like hell I run my country. It's true I'm only a trophy they flaunt all over but it is that only. I'm just a caged bird high up on a pedestal bro." The nation answered with a smile but it was sad. His shoulders slumped. "I don't run the country. I'm not special enough. I'm not mindless enough or weak enough to dance down to the Republican way. If I don't bend this way and that, then I am nothing but a poster boy for the world...But Ukraine. You actually think I have a decision in who runs the government! Obama may be democratic, but with the way those Republicans slave him over it's a wonder who really fucking runs this country. Like the fucking tea party. They make me want to punch turtles in the face. Seriously man. You don't know how fucking proud I am of myself for being able to hold back from punching Michelle Bachmann in the goddamn face."
"But, but, but, but," She tsked in her sweet voice, "you extended your hand and I took it. Do you know what I got in return? Nothing. I only got farther away from my precious brother. The brother that has been corrupted by your very touch." Her sleek fingers reached out to brush Russia's cheek but the Slavic nation shied away from the motion. Almost as if he had been burned.
"I tried. I tried to get you accepted! I tried you to be seen as a lone nation by the rest of the world! But my government can only do so much! I can only do so much! I want to have more control, but we're not swimming in the riches of the past! Please Ukraine! I would erase the past to get you to understand but...!"
"But what? There is nothing more you can do? Silly Amerika. There is so much more you can do, yes? You are the hero aren't you? You can pay with your life."
Russia coughed, grabbing Ukraine's attention. The big-eyed nation looked over to her silent brother. "Yes? Russia, do you have something to say?"
"Syestra," He whispered. "Stop it."
"Why should I stop it! He is getting what he deserves!"
"But he is also getting an end no one deserves!"
Ukraine scoffed. "He's New World. He hasn't felt the pain we have. The famine we have. The winter, the heat, the suffering of our people! Does he receive the luxuries just because of his lack of past! He deserves to crack, to break and suffer just like the rest of us!"
"No one deserves that, Sister! I would not wish that on any of my worst enemies! Not even stupid America is worthy of such an end! He is not ready to break! He is too fragile; he holds too much a grasp on the world! With his collapse, we will be sent back into the dark ages! Sister, it will be the Collapse of the Western half all over again. Europe is so fragile as it is. It's a glass ball that hangs suspended over fire. Only so long until the pressure is too much and it shatters!" Russia seemed to shake at the thought. "Sister, my dear sister, You have to understand that we are not young. We are not strong. We are old with brittle bones and souls. A collapse will send us spiralling into a dark, dark world that we will surely not survive!"
The Slavic woman went silent with her thoughts. Rossi didn't move. He felt so helpless here. So useless. What was he even doing here? He wanted to know. Why had Russia involved them personally? Was it not because he could fight his sister or was it only because he wanted his scarf back? The violet eyed man seemed to keep himself from crying. The Slavic was on the near verge of collapse.
It was sad watching this. But, he was growing tired of his current situation. Obviously if they waited any longer they would probably be forced to watch America be rampantly hurt by the angered Slavic woman and they too would probably meet a similar fate and might perhaps witness the breakdown of an already unstable man.
They had to do something. All they needed was an opportunity.
"Don't we want the dark ages back though?" Ukraine asked. Russia did not answer. "Don't tell me you don't pay attention to what a fuss the nations of Europe get into whenever America leaves the room?"
"I really don't like to pay attention to the fusses that get their knickers into knots. I would rather spend my time imagining squishing their faces beneath the heel of my boot and slowly extracting their organs while they writhe in endless pain."
"How can you not know, brother. You want it as much as the rest of them!"
"World War II?"
"The days when we were strong brother! The days when we could conquer without fear! Our glory days!" She shrieked. Her voice radiated madness. "We were so brave back then! So valiant and bold! But now only bravery is a mask and invasion is a threat to 'world peace'! Such a thing will never exist! Europeans are born to fight! Not to sit behind a desk and drink from little tea cups. He ruined our ways. Our culture! It is of no importance to be Russian, Ukrainian, English, Danish, Nordic or even French in this day and age! It's all American, American, American! What does it matter to be French. What does it matter to be Danish. There is no pride! There is no love for the country! There are no wars to fight in, there are no places to conquer! And it is because of him. It is because of him and his godforsaken country! He was England's downfall and his brother was France's lost cause. Spain and Portugal suffered from their revolting Southern World, you were suffering under the rule of your decaying leaders and the Nordics slowly drove themselves apart! He killed our world; he killed our ways! He has committed the ultimate atrocity and he deserves to be punished for it!"
"Sister, he's just–"
"He is not one of us." Ukraine whispered. "He is not a nation. He is a faulty hoax of what a nation should not be. He and all the rest and their New World. You only helped those who benefited you and destroyed those mocked and endangered you. Little people like myself and my sister are of no importance to you."
"I care for the little guys! Some of them are my best buds! Ukraine, Ukraine, why are you doing this! You know I care for the little guy! Everyone in this godforsaken world deserves to be treated the same even if I'm not given that treatment myself!"
"You have helped no one but yourself America!"
"That's...That's not true!"
Suddenly, so suddenly, the Slavic woman hissed and slapped Alfred hard across the face and he was sent sprawling. He groaned weakly and grit his teeth. Anger flashed in his blue eyes as Ukraine smiled with a mad intent lurking at the fake turns of her mouth. She edged forward so quietly.
"Little boy. Little, little boy so weak and childish. Never really grown up have you? Placing the blame of what you cannot do onto others smaller than you! You're a monster, a fool and an idiot all rolled into one!"
Alfred only glared. Ukraine smirked.
"Do you know why I've taken you here, my friend? It's simple. I just want to see you at your weakest state – something so very few of us have ever seen. You've always hidden away in yourself, haven't you? I brought you here for a simple thing. I brought you here to achieve what all the others have failed to have done!"
"The...The others? Who else is working with you?"
Ukraine smiled softly, but it was a cruel soft and her lilac eyes spoke of a terrifying animosity. "Who do you think?
America's face faulted completely and his world came tumbling down.
"They...couldn't. They promised! They promised!"
"Promises are made to be broken!" Ukraine laughed. "That's what promises are for, my little bird! They're little white lies wrapped within a ribbon of hope that are as fragile as the words they are founded upon. Little, little Fredka. You are so naïve to think that the world still looks upon you as a God of some sort. The Cold War is over and the threat of being drenched in the bloody colour of red no longer poses a threat! Alfred, they hate you! Alfred, they hate you! You have destroyed their world; you've overthrown the balance of central powers of which they were all founded upon! You have destroyed them and now it's their turn! Die, Alfred, die!"
She lunged and Alfred rolled. She hit the ground with a growl and darted over Alfred. The young nation jumped to his feet, ready to lunge when –
The door slammed open and a blonde woman he had never seen before was leading a parade of SWAT members and armed policemen into the room. Alfred was suddenly pushed and sent sprawling. His balance was off; he hasn't eaten. He needed to get out of here before he was trampled–
An arm slipped around his throat and pulled toaut and suddenly he can't breathe. He can't breathe. Maniacal laughter sounded in his ear and black spots dance across his vision. Alfred could feel her heart thumping madly against his back and he knew she was going to kill him. She was going to kill him, the United States of America.
"Sister!" Ivan's voice was heard above the shuffling and shouts of moving bodies. "Sister, they're going–"
Alfred closed his eyes and Ukraine's grip gets tighter.
"I am doing what you were never able to–"
Her voice stopped quick as a hail of bullets like the very ones shot off that marked his new day as a independent country. It had rained bullets that day as quick as lightening shot through the air and smacked Ukraine in her unprotected side. She screamed and collapsed; releasing Alfred and sending him free. He scrambled away to immediately be hoisted up by a very good-looking black man and the blonde woman.
Through the sound of people trying to see how Alfred was, Alfred could hear Ivan sobbing. He had heard Ivan cry only once before. But that had been a long time ago and it sounded distorted and vile now. His hearing seemed to fading in and out. A hand suddenly appeared on Alfred's shoulder.
"Are you all right?"
It was Rossi. Alfred looked up, ready to nod when he realised that no, he was not okay. Alfred the hero was not okay.
Alfred felt torn within himself. He clutched his fist and stared back behind at the collapsed Ukraine. Had he really done that? Had he injured her? No, wait. She hurt him. She violated his trust. She tried to break him. She tried to make him into something he was not; something he refused to be. She had tempted to turn his nightmares into a dark reality.
She was an enemy. She was an old friend turned by greed and unfairness. But she broke his trust. She was one no one longer to be trusted. She was the villain. He was the hero.
But did she deserve what she got? A hail of bullets and a broken arm? Did she? Did she? His mind spun with violent questions that went endlessly on and on within his trapped mind.
He went to look up at Rossi but it isn't Rossi any more. It wasn't anything. It was just dark and it was getting darker and darker every minute.
America groaned and his knees gave way. He can see Rossi trying to contact him and Ivan kneeling off to the side and clutching painfully at his chest as if his heart was about to fall off.
The young nation's world went spinning off his axis as the sirens get louder. The stone doors all around them break open and he can see his brother shouting commands. Motherfucker, can't you see he's laying on the floor kinda dead right now? He tried to snort but only ended up making a slow choking noise.
The room spun and Alfred lost his control. He fainted at last on the dirty stone floor with the question of whether he had done the right thing or not tumbling violently on his mind.
"It's all right lad, we'll be together forever."
"We'll be friends forever, ve~!"
"Drinking buddies unite!"
"If you got the pot, I got a seat on your couch with my name on it!"
"I'll be friends with you, even if you are a bit too much for me."
Far away, words began to carve themselves into the black brick.
Friendship is
a lie
Trust No One
"You always fuck everything up!"
"Everyone thinks Italians are pompous airheads!"
"Man, you're annoying. Why are you so stupid?"
"Don't you have a hooker to bone somewhere?"
"You are no friend of mine."
HUMANS ARE NOT MEANT TO KNOW.
They're all outside the house now which loomed eerily in the background. Alfred was refusing to get into the ambulance and he kept childishly doing things to anger the paramedics. Rossi was seriously beginning to grow tired of this guy. He was glad that after this we would never see the nation again but things were never that simple. Especially with people like Alfred and people like Ivan.
Alfred suddenly broke free of his cot and began to run away from the scene in nothing but torn jeans. His shoes had been lost somewhere along the trip up the stairs and to the ambulance. It was only a few minutes until his brother Matthew was seen carrying a struggling Alfred back to the ambulance. That time, the Canadian handcuffed his brother to the edge of his cot.
Rossi was seemingly amused by the situation and wondered if the two north American brothers were very close. Were they or did their cultural differences keep them separate?
Rossi also had to wonder.
Would the events of today effect the world to come or would the world go on unsuspecting of the emotional trauma taken place?
Over in the driveway of the American's home, the rest of the team sat in wait for what next to come.
David leaned against the side of the car and sighed.
"Today has been too long."
"Is anyone looking forward to going home as much as I am?" Emily asked quietly, rubbing at her eye.
"My only issue is that today is not over yet." Reid answered. "Well, at least for me. I have to find Ivan. There is something I want to ask of him."
"I'm curious what's going to happen if that woman dies." Emily mumbled. "My mother helps runs her country and I just don't want...anything bad to happen to her either..."
"I don't know what'll happen. We're not supposed to know this stuff in the first place, so I can't say that they'll just tell us." Reid turned his head and suddenly spotted Ivan who was sitting at the base of Alfred's large front yard Oak tree. "Oh! There he is. I'll talk to you later then guys."
Reid briskly walked over the Slavic and sat quietly next to the large nation who remained concentrated on the ground. It was a moment before Reid finally spoke. "Why did you bring us here Ivan?"
The agent doesn't expect an answer, but he did receive one.
"There was no one else to turn to."
His voice is so quiet. So childish. Ivan twiddled his thumbs; the worn leather creasing softly as his thumbs turned and turned endlessly.
"You were my only choice."
"Somehow I don't think that's true." Reid answered honestly. "You had other motives when you entered that office. You wanted your scarf back more than anything and you promised destruction if it was not returned to you."
There's a soft chuckle and Ivan turned and smiled at him. "Nothing passes you does it, Mr. Reid? I suppose I should explain myself. But do you really need an explanation? Can't you just live with the silly idea that a thousand year old entity needed your help in order to save someone close to them?"
"Not really. Not really at all."
Ivan sighed. "I suppose I should answer you, but it's a tough thing to answer if I'm to be honest. If you want my sheer honesty – then you have to accept it as it comes. Can you understand that comrade?"
"It's simple enough."
"You will hear this once and only once."
Reid nodded and Ivan leaned forward. The nation brushed the agent's hair behind his ear and brought his lips to it before cupping it with his leathered hands. A secret was being told so obviously. It reminded Reid of younger days; the days of a childhood long past where small children spent their days in the sandbox telling secrets that never really matter.
He can smell vodka but doesn't call Ivan out for it. The cool lips were moving.
"I was bored."
Ivan pulled away and his smile was back. That thick, cruel smile that told of lies and deceit. Reid can't help but stare at the other with an open mouth. Though, for some reason, he wasn't surprised at all. He had to expect it from a man with such a criminal persona as his. He had to expect it. He had to expect those words curling out from the thin, cool almost pale lips.
But somehow, he was stunned.
Then there was childish laughter and a hand clapped down on his shoulder.
"Tell only those who deserve it, hmm?"
And then the nation was gone.
A.N: I would like to thank natcat5 for the song at the beginning. For some reason I just love listening to it wrrlkfjelkjfe~ Thank-you. It helped get me this chapter out.
OKAY BULLSHIT TIME.
I admit this sucks. Like, well, the end does. Derpherp. I rushed it kinda because I wanted to get it over with and whatnot and blahblahblah.
Removed because it was a dickmove to be honest
And dear anon - France owes a lot to America and the supposed hatred they have for America is because of the fact that some french people are discontent with the fact that our tourists are commonly "ignorant" and the fact that they had their asses bailed out from such "ignorant people". The French necessarily do not hate America and Americans, rather they just despise our corrupt politicans and the ignorance that comes with some tourists. France has long had a respect for America and what it stands for - however, they just get angered by how stupid some people in America are. The French just hate how ignorant some people are - it's just not America.
Then again, I might be wrong. Might as well put the gun to my temple as we speak.
However, my original post was a dickmove and I apologise for anyone who had to read that.
And oh yeah, my characters do suck. But oh well. Shit happens.