Acceptance

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.

OK so you can blame nebula2 for suggesting this wasn't 'finished' plus the added encouragement of Seditionary, so here is some more. I am afraid I will be updating this one as it comes – sorry if the delay annoys you.

. . .

Sat in his SUV Derek Morgan watched the closed door to the Community Centre. It wasn't the first time he had waited outside this building, wanting to be certain of the security of one of the occupants. Derek knew that Spencer Reid was inside, he knew as he had watched him enter just over an hour previous.

This was where Spencer retreated when his demons were haunting him. Derek knew Spence was clean, but he also knew it was still a battle his friend regularly faced, especially recently. Over the years Derek had offered his support to his younger colleague, but Spencer preferred to ride this solo. Derek respected that, so he kept his distance - lurking in the shadows, ready if he was needed.

Hearing the click of the double doors opening, Derek watched the plethora of people pour out of the building. The range of the attendees of the NA meeting never failed to fascinate him. Taking a brief snap shot of the first few; their ages went from late teens to early fifties by his guess. There was those dressed smartly in suit and tie, to those with holes in their jeans and scraggy hair. No two were the same, yet they all shared a base element; something that brought them together to share their darkest secrets.

Somehow it bit into Derek that these strangers knew part of Spencer better than he did. They had been able to reach his friend in a way he couldn't.

Spotting Spencer scurry out, past the others, head down, Derek observed. He had seen him leave the building many times over the years, each time different, but today truly concerned him. He didn't like the way Spencer held himself, the uneasy nature to his attitude.

As he considered following Spencer into the dark night, he fingered the door handle and simultaneously removed the keys from the ignition. As his foot hit the ground, Derek was aware that Spencer had stopped moving. His head lifted as he looked directly at Derek. Sighing deeply, Derek acknowledged he had been rumbled. Leaning against the dark vehicle, Derek watched Spencer stalk towards him.

"You do know what anonymous means don't you?" Spencer spat as he was within feet of his older colleague.

Derek couldn't help but let at little smirk escape as he took in the anger.

"Yeah, genius I do," he nodded.

"Then what are you doing here? Again!" Spencer continued.

"Looking out for a friend," Derek answered matter of factly.

Spencer looked at Derek, he knew his anger was misguided in finding a target in the fellow profiler, but right now the cause of his frustration was not available. His shoulders slumped, as he realised how he had mistreated one of the few people he could still fully trust.

Noticing the change in Spencer's persona, Derek opened the driver's door.

"Lift?" he questioned, as he retook his seat.

Spencer shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, considering the offer. Right now he really didn't want to be alone, but also he didn't know how to reach out and ask for help - even if help was being offered on a platter.

Tapping his right index finger on his leg, he looked up at Derek and shrugged.

"How about you come back to mine, we can grab something to eat and . . ." Derek let his voice trail off, allowing Spence to direct the course of the evening.

Spencer's eyebrows furrowed as he took in the proposition. It sure beat an evening in solitude, with nothing but his all consuming thoughts for company. Slowly he nodded and move around the car to get in the other side.

. . .

Morgan led the way into his house, nudging Clooney back with his knee. The last thing Reid needed was the over-zealous German Shepherd bounding into him.

"Okay boy, come on and I'll find you some dinner too," he said, ruffling round the dog's ears, "Make yourself comfortable, Kid, you know the way."

Derek nodded his head in the direction of his lounge as he headed to the kitchen with the food, his faithful dog bouncing behind.

Within moments Derek was back in the lounge; plates, glasses and such in hand. Placing them on the table, he glanced up at a nervous looking Reid, who seemed to be hovering aimlessly in the middle of the large sparse room.

"You get the table ready and I'll bring out the food and wine, deal?"

Spencer nodded solemnly as he moved towards the dark surface.

Derek disappeared again, returning rapidly, filling the lounge with the gentle aroma of the spiced food they were to share. Placing the various containers onto mats on the table, he worked silently, observing the reserved nature of his friend. Without a word Derek sat down, having poured a glass of wine each.

Spencer sat down, his mind mulling over what he was to say and do now he was here.

Derek begun to help himself to the food.

"You know Kid, I'm here. I know you have always found it easier to talk to JJ or Emily, but I know those two aren't an option for you right now. I get the whole 'I can be so patronising' thing and I'm sorry for that, half the time I don't even realise I'm doing it. I'll try hard not to, but you need to talk to someone, before you get more of the headaches. I worry about you, man."

Spencer looked at Derek as he reached for some of the fluffy yellow rice.

"I just don't understand how they could do it," Spence said bitterly, as he concentrated on scooping the food onto his plate, letting his subconscious take care of the conversation, "How could JJ sit with me week in and week out; watching me, crying with me, consoling me and not tell me the truth? She could have made all the pain stop, and she chose not to."

Derek listened, glad that Spencer had found an outlet for his frustration;

"JJ did what she thought was best at the time, hey we've all made some bum calls in our time."

Spencer glared up at Derek;

"You really believe that?"

Derek shrugged, honestly he wasn't sure he believed it, it was more that he had convinced himself it was right, the only reasonable explanation, given the circumstances. Though in the back of his mind was the niggling thought that they would do it all the same should the situation ever arise again. That nothing had been learnt from what they had been through.

"JJ was following orders," Derek gave by way of a defence.

Spencer shook his head, playing idly with the food on his plate.

"I have been to more NA meetings in the last seven months then I have in the prior year. I was so close, so close . . ."

Derek knew, without it being said, what Spencer was referring to. The usually unspoken demon that still stalked Spence: Dilaudid.

He didn't have an answer; instead he reached towards Spence, placing a hand on his shoulder. Feeling the slight flinch at the gesture, Derek recalled his arm. Beginning to realise the extent of the damage done, he knew moving forward would be a slow and painful, but he wouldn't give up. Spencer deserved to have the stability of a true friend.

. . .

~*~ Profiler's Choice 2011 Fanfic Awards for the Criminal Minds Community ~*~

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The nomination ballot is now available, and all rules are posted on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum! Nomination ballots must be received by October 15, 2011 and must be sent to this PM at Profiler's Choice CM Awards. Fics for consideration must have appeared on the CM section of between September 1, 2010 and August 31, 2011 (see rules for full details.)