Chapter 30
TW: Mild mentions of SA in this chapter
Daenerys Targaryen POV
I'm really sad that Jon and I won't be able to see each other for Valentine's Day, I'm hoping we can at least see each other for our 2 year anniversary next month.
I'm sitting on the couch in the morning drinking coffee when Cersei walks out of Jaime's room and sits next to me. I pretend I don't notice, and we don't say anything about it.
"Hey," she says. "Good morning."
"Morning," I say, even though i'm confused. She's rarely this cheery in the morning. "What's up?"
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
"Sure."
"I want to have a guy over, with it being Valentine's Day and all," she says, nervously avoiding eye contact with me. "I was wondering if you could be out of the apartment from 6 until like, 10."
"I can do until 9," I say. "I have to study for an exam and work on a paper, anyway. I can be in the library for a while."
"Okay, that's fine," she says. "Thank you, I appreciate that."
"Who's the guy?" I ask. "Is it Bronn?"
"Yeah," she says. "I'm seeing where things go with him. Don't mention it to anyone, though. We want to keep it on the down low."
"Okay," I say. "No problem." I can't tell if that's the truth or not. I could see her getting more serious with Bronn, but it also seems like maybe that could be a cover story.
…
I'm walking to class with my headphones in when my music is interrupted by the phone ringing. It's Jon, which makes me smile. I click the accept button.
"Hey, babe," I say. "I didn't expect to hear from you this early."
"Happy Valentine's Day," he says. "I wanted to call you earlier, but I had class."
"Happy Valentine's Day," I say. "I wish you were here."
"Me too, but I'm planning on us celebrating our anniversary during spring break if that's okay."
"That sounds great," I say, sitting on a bench in front of the building where my class is. "Will you be coming back home?"
"I was planning on it," he says. "Will you be."
"Yeah," I say. "Will we see each other before then?"
There's a pause. "Probably not," Jon says. "I'm sorry, babe. I'll probably have to stay here until then."
"It's okay, I'll just miss you."
"I'll miss you more," he says. "Pay attention to what's in your mail this week. There may be something coming in for you."
"I'm intrigued," I say. "Cersei basically kicked me out of the apartment tonight from 6 until 9. She's having a guy over, apparently."
"Ugh, that sucks," Jon says. "I'm sorry. Do you know who it is?"
"I think it's one of Jaime's friends," I say. "I have to go, my class is about to start."
"Okay, bye. I love you."
"I love you, too."
I head into the lecture hall. I wish I could see Jon before our anniversary, but that would be really hard to plan and organize. I'm glad we got to talk today, but it's really hard being in a relationship on Valentine's Day when you can't even see the person.
Arya Stark POV
I don't like Joffrey. He gives me really bad vibes, and he isn't even nice to Sansa. I hope he at least did something semi-nice for her for Valentine's Day, I forgot it was Valentine's Day until I saw the student council give out flowers during my first period. Gendry got me a flower, which was really sweet and not something I expected.
Gendry meets me outside my second period classroom to walk me to lunch, Sansa and I were running late so Gendry and I didn't see each other this morning. Sometimes that happens, but he usually doesn't meet me outside my classroom. We usually just text each other to figure out our lunch plans.
"Hey, Arry," he says, kissing my cheek when I walk out. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Thanks," I say as we start walking down the hallway. "And thank you for the flower, it's very sweet."
"Do you want to go eat somewhere?" He asks me.
"Sure," I say. "That sounds great."
We get in his car and head to a drive thru. It's not too romantic, but it's still nice of him to offer to take me.
"I'm really happy we're together," he says while we're waiting in the car line. "Just wanted to tell you that."
"Me too," I pause, there's something that's been on my mind lately. "Gendry, can I ask you about something?"
"Of course," he says. "What is it?"
"That older woman, the one you lost your virginity too, what happened exactly?"
Gendry sighs. "What did Margaery tell you?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's always had a weird hangup about that," he says. "Did she tell you something about it when you saw her?"
"No," I say. "It just rubs me the wrong way that it was with someone so much older, and I wanted to know more. But only if you feel comfortable telling me."
We pull up to the window and get the food, and Gendry starts driving back towards school. "Okay, I'll tell you," he says. "But you have to promise me to not be weird about it."
"Okay, I promise." I'm a little nervous, I didn't think this would be such a deep discussion. We arrive at school and he parks the car.
"It was with Lady Mel," he says. My eyes widen, I didn't expect him to say that. "It was the summer after my sophomore year, I was the only one doing work in the auditorium at the time. She kinda just pounced on me, I didn't even really come to terms with what was happening until it was over."
I stay silent for a while, because I'm not sure how to react. "That sounds really predatory, Gendry," I say. "Why were you so scared to tell me?"
"Margaery always got really nervous when we'd be around each other," he says. "She thought I was going to do something with her again, even though I never cheated on her or any other girl for that matter."
"I don't think that," I say. "But I still wish you had told me."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I just was too scared to lose you."
"You're not losing me," I say. "As long as you promise me it's over between you two."
"It definitely is," he says. "I promise. It only happened once, anyway."
"Have you ever thought about reporting it?"
"What do you mean? Why would I do that?"
"Isn't that assault?" I ask him. "You were a minor and she's a teacher, I'm pretty sure that's illegal."
"Maybe technically," he says. "But it's not like I said no or fought her off, I barely even had time to."
"Still," I say. "That doesn't sound right."
"I don't really want to talk about it anymore," he says. "You know about it now, and I'd like to just move on."
"Okay," I say. "We don't have to talk about it anymore."
It still doesn't feel right to me, but I respect his request to not talk about it. I think of something to change the subject.
"So I've decided I really don't like Joffrey," I say after a pause. "He gives me really bad vibes, especially with the way he talks to Sansa."
"I told you he's a brat," Gendry replies. "But I had no idea he was treating Sansa as badly as he is."
"I wish she wouldn't just take it," I say. "She deserves better, especially with all that she's been through in the last couple years."
"Maybe you can talk to her about your concerns," he says. "I know Myrcella has tried, but Sansa just gets defensive. Maybe she'll listen more to you."
"I'll think about it," I say. There's a pause. "The bell's about to ring, we should probably head back inside."
"Oh, right. Want to go smoke after tech?"
"Definitely," I say. I give him a quick kiss. "See you later."
I head inside and head to my next class. I'm glad he told me more about his first time, but it still rubs me the wrong way. I know we have an age difference, but that just seems a little more concerning to me. I respect that he doesn't really want to talk about it much, but I still think reporting what happened might be beneficial. That's ultimately his choice, in the end.
Cersei Lannister POV
I'm glad I convinced Dany to be out of the apartment this afternoon, I was worried I'd have to give details. I know she knows what's going on, and I'm just glad it can remain an open secret between us. Jaime comes home after his class, and I'm attempting to cook pasta. He's way better at cooking than me, but once in a while I at least try.
"Watcha doing?" He asks when he sees that I'm in the kitchen.
"Trying to make pasta," I say. "I thought we could have a cozy night in for Valentine's Day."
"Where's Dany?"
"I convinced her to stay out until 9, I said I wanted to have a guy over."
"I hope she didn't catch on," Jaime says, putting something in the fridge. He then hugs me from behind while I'm stirring the pasta. "We can't have that."
"I couldn't care less, to be honest with you."
"I know," he says. "But I still care about our reputations." I roll my eyes, I feel so much more free doing what I want and not caring what anyone else thinks about it.
"What did you just put in the fridge?" I ask him.
"I got us a couple brownies with raspberries," he says. "I know those are your favorite."
"Thank you, you're the sweetest."
Jaime helps me finish up the cooking, even though I wanted to do it all myself. We make our plates, I make a couple of wine glasses for us and we sit on the couch.
"Sorry I didn't make a romantic table like you have in the past," I say. "I was focused on finishing the cooking and doing that right."
"It seems like you're doing better," he says. "I'm really glad about that."
"I am," I say. "I haven't drank as much or done Xanax lately."
"I'm glad. Have you drank at all tonight besides that glass?"
"Just a glass while I was cooking," I say. "You don't need to worry."
"Can I ask you something, Cersei?" He asks me after a pause.
"Sure."
"Have you hooked up with Bronn again since the first time?"
"We've never had full on sex," I say. "But I did suck his dick at the last party we were at." He sighs a defeated sigh, I knew he wouldn't be happy about that.
"I know it's a lot ask for you to be faithful to just me," he says. "But it would at least mean a lot to me if you wouldn't hook up with my friends."
"I thought he wasn't your friend anymore," I say. "I thought you hated him because he gave me Xanax, like I wasn't willingly taking it."
"Just try to avoid it," he says. "If you can. It's not good for you."
"I'm doing a lot better," I say. "You should be happy about that."
"I am," he says. There's a pause. "I thought maybe Jon would come and surprise Dany for Valentine's Day, I'm glad he didn't."
"Why?"
"It would've been annoying. He seems to forget we also live here when he comes down to surprise her."
"Yeah, I agree," I say. "I know Dany loves him, but I don't know what she sees in him beyond just a pretty face."
He laughs at that, and there's a pause of silence. We start making out on the couch and eventually move to my bedroom, I figured this is where the night would go.
"I love you," he says when we're laying in bed after finishing up. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day," I say. I lean against his chest. "I'll try not to hook up with Bronn again."
"I'd appreciate that." He kisses the top of my head and runs his fingers through my hair.
I do love Jaime, but I feel awkward telling him that. He knows I love him, it's unspoken. I want to be faithful to him, it's just hard because we can't be together publicly. I have to just hang on to these rare private moments that we get to have.
Sansa Stark POV
It's Valentine's Day, which should be a happy day since I'm in a relationship. It's not, though. Today I'm just reminded of when I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day 2 years ago and how horrible that experience was for me. Joffrey told me he'd be busy all day, but he wants me to meet him outside after my cheer practice.
I leave the gym with Myrcella, Podrick and Joffrey are both waiting outside. Podrick gives Myrcella a hug and kiss. "Happy Valentine's Day," he says to her. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," she says, nodding. "Let's go."
"What are you guys going to do?" I ask her. Podrick chuckles.
"Just some stuff," she says, blushing. "Don't worry about it." Joffrey makes a gagging sound.
"Okay, I get you," I say. "Have fun." They walk away and Joffrey and I sit down on a bench.
"Happy Valentine's Day," he says, kissing my cheek. "Sorry we couldn't hang out much today."
"I missed eating lunch with you," I say. "What were you doing?"
"Getting some stuff for you," he says. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out some flowers. "I went for the flowers because I was thinking about getting you chocolates but you know, you wouldn't eat it."
"Thanks," I say. "That's very nice of you." I pause, smelling the flowers.
"Are you okay?" He asks me.
"Yeah, why?"
"You just seem a little sad. I thought you'd be happy about this."
"I am, I really appreciate it," I say. "It's just, Valentine's Day is kind of a bittersweet day for me. I didn't want to bring it up, but I guess I can't hide how I'm feeling."
"Why is it bittersweet?"
I sigh. "I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day, two years ago," I say. "It was with my ex, and the experience was really horrible. He pressured me and basically didn't take no for an answer."
"Do we have to bring up your ex?" Joffrey asks me. "Today is supposed to be about us, is it not?"
"It is," I say. "It's just, you asked me what was wrong so I told you."
"I feel like you're always talking about him," he says. "I get he wasn't a good person, but that doesn't mean he's a rapist. Plus, you should be focusing on me."
"I know," I say. "But I still don't think what happened between Ramsay and I was consensual."
"Can we give that a rest?" He asks me. "You regret it, that's the end of that and you should just move on."
I wipe a tear that's started to form quickly. I don't want Joffrey to see it, he'll just get mad at me. "Thank you for the flowers," I say. "I really like them."
"Jesus Christ, now you're crying again," he says. "Why don't I just take you home? It seems like I can't do anything right."
"Okay," I say. "I really do love the flowers, though."
"Whatever."
We get into his car and he takes me home in silence. I get out and walk in, luckily without anyone seeing me. Arya isn't home yet, so when I walk into my room I just lay on my bed and cry. Maybe I do just regret what happened with Ramsay and I need to stop calling it non-consensual. Either way, I need to stop talking about it and try to move on. It'll better for everyone that way, it's only causing me problems now in life and in my current relationship.