EPOV (Platt)
"You're joking right?" I asked.
"No I'm not" Mom answered.
"I don't want to go freaking house hunting!" Sean yelled.
"Neither do !" Trevor yelled.
"Well I'm sorry, our homes are too small for 18 kids with 2 parents" Mom said.
"We're screwed!" Alice said normally and put her head in her hand. I sighed and nodded.
"Yeah we're screwed!" I laughed humorlessly and followed her action by putting my head in my hands.
"Does this mean when we move in I have to share my watermelons?" Emmett asked.
"Yes!" we all yelled at him.
"God you're stupid!" James said.
"No!" Emmett yelled.
"What's the square root of 10?" he asked. God he's such a smart-ass!
"Um…2?" Emmett guessed.
"5 you idiot!" Trevor called from the middle of the stairs.
"Kids! Ok no we're going to meet Carlisle and the Cullens' at Tanaka Realty to meet with a realtor to show us houses that could fit all of us." Mom explained.
"Shit!" Ryan muttered.
"Language! Now Edward, Emmett can you follow me in your cars and take the others please?" she asked.
"Sure" and "Whatever" came from me and my obnoxious brother.
"Ok go get ready!" she smiled and climbed over us to get to her room. Getting ready for me was taking a shower putting on a pair of jeans a shirt, and my shoes. Along with brushing my teeth of course. I wouldn't want the ladies kissing a dirty mouth.
"Guys, I think we should give the wrong opinion" James grinned.
"What are you talking about?" Cassidey asked.
"I think we should dress so out of line! Like pants around your legs with long shirts, girls wear so much makeup you look like a whore and trashy outfits, you know?" he asked.
"I'm in" the girls chimed.
"Me too!" us guys said.
"Ok! Let's get to work!" Alice smiled and we all went upstairs.
"Dude let's be matching!" Trevor said to Ryan. They grinned as if they both knew what they were planning and left to their rooms.
I left to my room to take a quick shower. After washing myself and my hair I walked out to my room in only a towel and grabbed a pair of jeans and a tight forest green t-shirt I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair. There's no use trying to slick it back or something. It's unmanageable. Putting on my socks I put on my sneakers and grabbed my iPod and cell then headed downstairs for something to eat.
"Bri! You burned my shoulder!" Alice screamed.
"Sorry!" Brianna screamed back and it sounded like she was sobbing. Poor Bri. Ok, I know what you're thinking. He's self-centered jerk type, player. Some of those are true, but I love my sisters. My brothers and I are those stereotype older brothers you see in movies or read about. Emmett and I took it to extreme when Cassidey and Jared started dating. We disguised ourselves as gay men and sat in the back of the theatre. Cassidey did catch us and was pissed off. But hey! We did it out of love, and that guy had it coming!
Oh and there was the time where Brianna went to the mall with some friends, Ryan and I followed them because it would be her, this guy Ian, and another boy. She would be the only girl and it was the first time she went to the mall just the only girl. So being the awesome older brother I am, I followed her and let's say, we soaked Ryan's car.
Oh! And there was the time with Caitlin. But anyway you get the point!
Ryan and Sean loved the girls, but when there was fun happening they could care less!
As I came down the stairs there was Caitlin herself on the island in the kitchen with a wooden salad bowl enough to feed a party in her lap filled with cereal and a serving spoon as her spoon. I grinned as I walked up and I she was about to put cereal in her mouth until I took her hand and put it in my mouth.
Yum, Froot Loops!
"Hey!" She whined but smiled. I kissed her forehead. She smiled and began eating again.
"Cate, tell me why you are eating with a salad bowl and serving spoon?" I teased, but truly curious.
"You guys forgot to do the dishes!"
"I was teasing" I said and got out a poptart and put them in the toaster.
"Oh"
"Yeah"
"You excited to go house hunting?" she asked with a mouth full of cereal. She was such a tomyboy! Well she was wearing denim shorts, a skimpy tank top that no brother would want to see their sister in, her boobs were showing and her black bra was showing. Her face looked like came out of 'Jersey Shore' and on her feet were shoes that looked like she was in Jersey Shore.
"Nice outfit. But please! Cover up!" I pleaded. She picked up my jacket I had on the table and put it on.
"Happy?" she asked.
"Very" I smiled and caught my poptarts that jumped out of the toaster.
"We're ready!" Alice sang.
"Come downstairs!" Caitlin said.
"Oh shit" she said. I turned around and there were the Platt Whores. They all posed like whores and Caitlin took a picture.
"So going on Myspace and Facebook!" she giggled.
"I change my mind! You're not leaving the house" Ryan said as he came down the stairs.
"Agreed!" I said.
"Come on! Just for the fun of it!" Alice said.
"No!" I said.
"You can't just rip the clothes off of us! Rapist!" Brianna screamed. We heard rapping on the stairs and there stood my brothers.
"Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin' like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town with yo pants on the ground
get it up!!
HEY! got your pants off the ground
lookin like a fool, walkin talking
with you pants on the ground
get it up
hey get them pants off the ground
Lookin' like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Lookin' like a fool with you pants on the ground" they sang. They all went into gangster poses with their backs together and Emmett gave the peace sign.
"Word" he said. I brust out laughing.
"I'm the only normal one?!" I asked.
"No!" they all yelled.
My brothers were dressed in plaid flannels with their pants set on their thighs, hats on the side, all black Converse, all black sunglasses with Locs on the side, and they all pursed their lips.
"Picture!" Cailign smiled and took a picture. They all stayed like that.
"Go get changed!" Emmett sand and he handed me the same pairs of clothes.
"We're not leaving until you do" Caitling said. I sighed and went to the bathroom and set myself. I saw a bandana and I put that on. I set my pants low on my thighs, switched my shirt for a tight wife beater with the flannel on top, put the hat on and the sunglasses on. I looked at myself in the mirror. I look ridiculous!
"Ok I'm ready" I sighed.
"Pants on the ground!" they sang. I sang too.
"Like our outfits?!" Alice asked and the girls posed again.
"Platt Whores in the house!" James said and he had his travel iHome with his iTouch in it. He turned on 'Imma Be' by the Black Eyed Peas and there was a grinding fest in the kitchen. Ryan was against Brianna and Sean against Cassidey as she and Brianna were against Alice.
"Record!" Caitlin said and caught them grinding in the kitchen.
"Oh hell with it!" Caitlin yelled as she handed me the camera which was recording everything and grinded against Ryan.
Trevor was against Caitlin and they looked like they were in a club.
"This ain't a club! But it would be awesome if it was true!" Emmett yelled.
"Kids! Everyone ready?" Mom yelled from her room as her blowdryer turned on.
They all stopped dancing and the guys looked at the girls.
"Go change!" we chorused. They all linked arms.
"No!" they said.
Alice was dressed in black shorts with a skimpy yellow tube top with loads of makeup on her face along with bronzer and pounds of eyeliner and mascara. Her hair was in a headband and on her feet were black heels with a zipper in the front.
Brianna had on white shorts, a black tight tanktop, black and white heels, pounds of makeup, and on her lips were coats of lip gloss.
Cassidey was the worst! She had on denim shorts riding up her ass, a very low-cut tight neon camisole, white heels, so much makeup you can't see her face, coats of lip-gloss, and her hair had a purple dyed strip like Avril Lavigne, but purple.
Caitling had on denim shorts, a skimpy tank top that no brother would want to see their sister in, her boobs were showing and her black bra was showing. Her face looked like came out of 'Jersey Shore' and on her feet were shoes that looked like she was in Jersey Shore.
"You look like Jersey Shore gone mad!" Emmett said.
"I know" Alice smiled.
"I am freezing my ass off!" Cassidey said.
"Then put something on! You're wearing scraps!" James said.
"I know!" Alice hissed.
"Kids let's go!" mom yelled.
"I call the older ones!" I yelled.
"Ok! Come on young ones!" Emmett said in a Yoda voice and we all went out the door. We all hurried to the car so mom wouldn't see.
"Ready?! Edward follow me! Emmett follow Edward!" Mom called.
In my car was myself, Alice, Ryan, Caitlin, and Trevor.
"Ready to go?" I asked. They nodded.
"Let's go!" I sighed and we were off.
*Yours, Mine, and Ours*
"We're here!" Ryan said and they unbuckled.
"Wait! Hold on, don't get out" I said.
"Mom are the Cullens here?!" I yelled out my window. She pointed to the Mercedes, and BMW pulling up. They all got out and they were wearing jeans, and regular shirts. The girls had on minimal makeup, purses, sneakers, and sunglasses. The boys had on jeans and polos with their sunglasses.
"Ok go!" I yelled and all us Platts jumped out the car and we landed on the lawn in front of a building laughing our heads off.
"That was awesome! Let's go again!" Sean yelled and he and Trevor ran to the car again but James and Ryan held them back.
"Kids!" Mom screamed. She was livid.
"Oh shit" Ryan said. Carlisle's eyes grew to shock along with his childrens'.
"Oh shit!" we all chorused. The Cullens stared at us like we were savages.
Mom was pissed.
"Carlisle I can assure you my children do not dress like this. It must be Halloween come early" she said through her teeth staring at us.
What can you say? Platt Whores with Platt Gangsters.
"Um, Esme I believe you. This is probably some sort of rebellion!" Carlisle suggested.
"We don't rebel Doc! We though we'd show you what we'd like to be when we grow up! Prostitutes and Gangers" Emmett grinned and clapped Carlisle on the shoulder. He looked terrified.
"Emmett!" I said.
"You dumbass!" Alice said and clonked him on the top of the head.
"Ow! Alice!" he yelled.
"Well quit being so stupid!" James said.
"Sorry" he said.
"And we're not prostitutes" Alice said.
"Yeah if you're lucky they'll be strippers!" a girl with short brown hair joked to her family.
"Oh we hope!" Alice said with seriousness. Their eyes grew like flat sausages.
"Alice shut up" Mom smiled sweetly.
"Yes mommy" she said.
This is not going well!
*Yours, Mine, and Ours*
BPOV (Cullen)
"What has daddy gotten himself into?" Vic asked as the Platt cars pulled up.
"I don't know" I said.
"Ok, go!" a boy yelled from the drivers seat and the doors flew open as they jumped onto the grass and laughed like mental people. This one girl's shorts were so short I saw her butt!
The girls were wearing shorts, tight low-cut camisoles, high heels, and so much makeup that you couldn't even see their face. It looked tragic, they looked like prostitutes.
The boys were wearing hats to the side, jeans hanging off their thighs, all black shoes, sunglasses, plaid flannels, and bandanas under their hats. They looked like gangsters.
"Let's go again!" two boys said racing back to the car, but two older boys held them back. They looked like when Shaggy gets his shirt held when he's running and he isn't running.
"Kids!" Esme screamed. I looked to my siblings who were staring at the Platts with a 'Are you serious or are we getting Punk'd?'
"Welcome the Platts, home of the Prostitutes and Gangsters" a boy introduced as they all bowed and the girls giggled.
"What?" Esme asked with a scared look on her face.
"Oh mom you should've of seen us grinding in the kitchen to 'Imma Be'" one girl said and they all laughed.
"Good times" they sighed.
"Grinding? Like at a club?" Carter asked. Dad shot him a look.
"Oh yes! It was so much fun! We should to go Club Luxor more often" a boy winked. I couldn't recognize them in their outfits.
"You went where?" Esme asked almost lethal.
"No where, psh! Us?!" they tried to downplay it but I saw pass their charade. Frankie nudged me, as I turned to her Jasper whispered.
"Let's move out into out own apartment" I rolled my eyes and turned to Frankie.
"I don't want to do this" she said. I smiled and ruffled her hair.
"It'll be ok" I said and turned back around.
"Let's go shall we?" dad asked and we went inside.
Dad and Esme talked with an realtor and she was going to take us on a tour of homes.
After they talked she told us to follow her and we all got in our respective cars and followed her.
"This is a nightmare!" Justin said. Carter nodded.
"And this is supposed to be fun?!" I asked.
"Yeah!" they said. I sighed.
"Well let's see if they do anything else" I said and followed dad who was following our new family.
Yeah…not!
Hey!!! So just a little bit of what the Platts truly will do to go to drastic measures! :D
Well hope you like!!
Lizzy