Title: Ghosts
Author: May Chang
Warnings: general, adventure, AU
Pairings: M!Shepard + Ashley, M!Cousland x Zevran
Disclaimers Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect are the property of Bioware
Author's Notes: Shepard is a Paragon/Earthborn/War Hero/Infiltrator.

Ghosts

Part Four

It took about a week and a half to get to the Tower and Shepard couldn't help but squint at the building. There were some crude remarks he would like to say, but he was too polite to say it in present company. Present company include Leonie, Nathaniel, Sigurn the dwarf he nearly bowled over, and Anders who didn't look very happy to be there.

"Ah, home sweet home," Anders said snidely, looking at the Tower. Shepard scratched a cheek.

"You know, you can probably just stay at the inn instead of coming with us," Shepard said thoughtfully.

"If I did that, the templars are still going to drag me back to the Tower," Anders said with a sigh. "I might as well just walk in with you." Shepard shrugged before he followed after Leonie towards the ferry. The ferryman gave Shepard a suspicious look, as though he was trying to remember who he was and Shepard did his best to ignore the man.

They were met at the other side by two very large templars who glared at Anders. The mage just looked back with a cheeky grin. So far neither of the templars seem to notice Shepard and for that the commander was rather thankful. When they entered they were met by an imposing old man in armor and a smaller elder lady. The woman gasped in surprise while the armored man stepped forward, sword drawn and looking directly at Shepard. Shepard heaved a sigh as Leonie stepped between him and the templar.

"Aedan Cousland! By the Maker, you should be dead!" the elderly woman exclaimed.

"Sorry, I'm not Aedan," Shepard replied, looking over Leonie's shoulder. "My name is John Shepard. I guess you're Wynne, uh, I have a letter from Teyrn Cousland for you." The woman looked at Shepard, tilting her head as though to study him.

"He is no demon, if that is what you are worried about," Leonie added. "His Majesty passed on some of his knowledge to me, I would know if he is more than what you see." It took a moment before the woman nodded and looked at the templar.

"Greagoir, you can put away your sword," she said, putting a hand on his arm. Greagoir gave Shepard a critical look before he reluctantly put his blade away. "Yes, I am First Enchanter Wynne and this is Knight-Commander Greagoir. Welcome to the Circle."

Shepard decided that the Circle was rather... cold. Even that word didn't seem to describe the place well enough, but seeing all the templars in the hall, watching over the young mages who scurried about the halls, it was no wonder that Anders did his best in escaping from the place seven times. The windows were closed and Shepard was pretty sure that they were locked so no one can throw themselves out.

Yes, the Tower is somewhere he would not like to stay. Unfortunately he needed answers and that was going to take some time.

Leonie and the others left the next morning – Anders never looked so relieved in his life as he shuffled quickly past the templars – to return to Amaranthine for some Grey Warden business. He thanked Leonie for the escort and she pursed her lips as she gave him a thoughtful look.

"I do not know much about Aedan," she said with a sad smile, "but you remind me of another person, an old friend of mine. You act almost like him some days, and that tells me you are a good person." Shepard rubbed the back of neck, feeling rather embarrassed at that.

"Um, thanks," he replied. Leonie laughed softly before she bade him farewell and left the Tower. Shepard watched as they got onto the ferry and then returned into the Tower. Wynne was waiting for him with a smile and proceeded to lead him to the library.

"I do hope you find what you are looking for," she said. Shepard narrowed his eyes as he stared at the ocean of bookshelves and gave a sigh.

"That is a lot of books," he announced. "I don't even know where to start." Wynne tilted her head, giving the room a thoughtful look before she waved at Shepard to follow.

"I believe maybe around here," she said. "You mentioned that you may have been pulled into this world from your world. The Veil is a barrier between this world and the Fade so perhaps you broke through the Veil to come here."

"Hm." Shepard considered it for a moment. "I didn't feel anything when I was dropped here. Of course I was unconscious at the time, and apparently on fire. Wouldn't you feel something if you break through?"

"Hm... perhaps," Wynne replied slowly. "But as you say it, you are not a mage and also unconscious at the time. Mages and templars will be able to feel when the Veil opens or is weakened, but most people will not feel anything. The more sensitive ones have mentioned feeling colder in the areas where the Veil is weak." Shepard nodded at that, thinking about the ghost stories at home where an area would become cold for no reason due to spirits making their presence known. It certainly made sense now that he was in this world.

"I suppose you can start here," Wynne said, stopping in front of an area of the library. She gestured towards the shelves. "These are books about Veil, hopefully they will be helpful.

"I have a class to teach," she continued as Shepard moved towards the shelves to run a finger across the spines of the books. "If you have any questions one of the templars can point you to my office, or you can ask one of the Tranquils if you'd like."

"Tranquils?" Shepard turned to give Wynne a puzzled look. Wynne turned and gestured towards a person who was busy putting the books away.

"That's Oswin," she said. "He's a Tranquil in charge of the library. He's very knowledgeable about the book here and—" A smaller person suddenly appeared, cheerfully asking Oswin a question before she and the Tranquil left for another area of the library.

"That was a dwarf, right?" Shepard asked. So far she was the only dwarf that he'd seen in the Tower, and that made him curious.

"Oh, that was Dagna," Wynne said with a chuckle. "She is doing research about the theory of magic."

"So she's also a mage?"

"Oh, no, no she's not. Dwarves do not have the capability to practice magic like humans or elves," Wynne explained. "No, she's here because she wanted to learn and Aedan had wanted to..." She trailed off, her eyes suddenly pained by the mention of his name. Shepard waited a moment as Wynne collected herself.

"Forgive me, but it's almost been half a year since Aedan died," she said. "Dagna is here to study, and she gets along quite well with the mages in the Tower. As for the Tranquils, they are mages who have gone through the Rite of Tranquility to remove their powers. Don't be startled when you talk to them, the ability to feel is unfortunately removed when their powers are taken."

You mean he's been lobotomized, Shepard thought with a mental shiver.

"I see," he said instead in a neutral tone.

"Oh, but classes are about to start," Wynne said. "I hope you find something, Shepard."

"Thank you," he replied and watched as the First Enchanter left the library before he turned to look at the books before him. He scratched his head, took a deep breath, exhaled and started with the first book.

It took a while for Shepard to realize that he was being watched. He hadn't thought about it because he wasn't a mage to start with, but when he stood up for the third time that day to pick up another tome, he realized that there was a templar in the room. The commander furtively glanced around the room, noting no sign of any other mages, but another two templars in the room.

I'm not so dangerous, am I? he wondered as he picked up a tome.

"Shepard?" He gave a start, turning to see Wynne approach him. "How are you doing? Have you found anything that will help?"

"No, not yet," he said. shaking his head. "I'm still not sure what I'm looking for, to be honest."

"Then perhaps you would like to take a break," Wynne said. "You did not have lunch yet, have you?" Shepard's stomach growled in response and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Wynne just chuckled at that.

"Come along," she said. "I haven't had lunch as well, can't teach the little ones on an empty stomach." Shepard nodded, placed the tome he had in hand on the table and followed after the mage. Behind him, he could hear the armor clinking and with a quick glance back, he saw that two of the three templars were following them.

"The templars can't think I'm dangerous," he said as he looked back at Wynne. "I can barely use a dagger to start with."

"Well, you do look like the Hero of Ferelden who everybody knows is dead," Wynne said calmly, "and the letter from Teyrn Cousland basically told Greagoir and I that you came from another world. As much as Warden-Commander Caron assures us that you're quite human, Greagoir doesn't want to take the chance." Shepard thought about it for a moment before he nodded.

"I understand," he replied as they entered the mess hall. He followed after Wynne, picking up a tray of food that consisted of fresh bread and some sort of stew. They took a seat by the windows, and Shepard mused in amusement that the windows were opened unlike the ones in the upper levels. Perhaps it was because they were way too small for anybody to squeeze through to jump.

Someone came by to place two pitchers – one black and one brown – and mugs on the table, and Shepard tried to see what the contents were.

"Ah, this one," Wynne said, placing a hand on the handle of the black pitcher, "is water. The other is ale, and it's quite good."

"Thank you," he said. Shepard picked up the pitcher with ale and poured it into one of the mugs, offering it to Wynne who lifted her brows and took it with a "thank you" and a smile. He then filled the other mug with ale and took a sip. It had to be some of the best ale he'd had and he gave the contents a surprised look. "You're right, this is really good." Wynne chuckled at that before they ate their lunch in comfortable silence.

About ten minutes later the younger mages who had finished their lunches and seen Shepard and Wynne arrive started to migrate towards the two. Shepard never quite understood why it happens all the time, but whenever there were children in his presence they tend to drift towards him. Children looked up to him as a hero when he was home, but here they looked up at him as a stranger who looked like the hero of their world.

They struck up conversations with Shepard, and he couldn't help but patiently respond to them in kind. Wynne was watching him with great amusement as one young child climbed onto Shepard's lap, and sat there as she asked Shepard random questions. He patiently replied to the child's questions as well as the other children, explaining to them that no, he was not the Hero of Ferelden, yes, he does look like the Hero, and yes, he was considered a hero in his own land.

"That's enough now, children," Wynne said. "You all have classes now, off you go." There were cries of disappointment for the children before they all reluctantly walked off to their classes. The one on Shepard's lap pouted as she looked up at the commander before she slid off and followed after. Shepard just shook his head and gave a soft snort of amusement.

"You are quite patient with the little ones, aren't you," Wynne stated. Shepard shrugged as he picked up his half-eaten bread and ripped a piece off to dip in his stew.

"I guess," he said. He popped the piece into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "It's always been like that, even when I was a kid. Some of the older kids didn't like it, but the younger ones, they always followed me around like I was some hero."

"Well, you did say you're a hero in your world," Wynne replied.

"Ha! That was just me being there at the right place and right time," he said. "Still I think it's one of the reasons why I got the job." He was silent after that, thinking back at the exact moment when the Council asked him to step forward and formally accepted him into the ranks of the Spectre. Kaidan and Ashley had been there to bear witness and...

Shepard realized he hadn't thought about Ashley in months. Just thinking of her name suddenly made him feel ashamed at how he could have forgotten about her. She always had his back during the primary missions and those assignments that the Alliance would give him to investigate. And then she had given up her life to make sure the nuke detonated on Virmire, taking about the test-tube krogans and geth.

"Are you alright?" Wynne asked. Shepard looked up and gave her smile. He wasn't sure how convincing it was.

"Yeah. Yeah," he replied. "I'm, ah... I'm just fine."

Shepard's head wasn't into the books when he returned to the library. He found it hard to concentrate now that guilt was settling into him. He idly flipped through some pages before he eventually gave up and decided to go for a walk. He stood up and approached the one templar who wasn't wearing a helmet.

"I'm going for a walk," he announced and crossed his arms. "I think I saw a garden around here, but I haven't a clue how to get there. Maybe you could...?"

"Of course," the templar said, bowing his head slightly. Shepard caught the suspicious look on the man's face but said nothing about it. The templar turned and left the library, and Shepard followed after him. He could hear the clinking of armor behind him, and was sure that at least one of the templar that was in the library had followed him. Shepard didn't really bother with it, just scratched the back of his head and sighed.

The garden was pretty big and Shepard slowly walked through, taking in the green and the sun. His spirit lifted a bit and he gave another sigh. He started to think about his crew, the threat of the Reapers, the geth, his mission.

And Ashley.

"Damn it," he whispered to himself. "Damn it."

Hooray, still have no idea how to explain how Shepard got to Thedas! :D