Author's Note: See notes on Chapter One for a more complete introduction. This chapter deals with episode 1.10 A Death in the Family, mostly the last few minutes and what happened after the screen faded to black. This is the same episode I used in my previous chapter, but I'm not repeating myself—I'm using different pieces of that episode for this portion of my story.

Disclaimer: Castle and its characters do not belong to me, I make no money from this, and no copyright infringement is intended. I'm just enjoying some time with a few of my favorite characters. The story is mine, however, except where I'm directly quoting the episode.

Richard Castle, Grown-Up

Chapter Four: Done.

He stared out the window, continuing to argue with himself as he watched the raindrops trace meandering paths down the glass. Finally, he came to a decision. She's right. As much as I hate to admit it, my mother is right. I didn't leave it alone and now I have to tell Kate the truth, all of it. What I did before I knew how she felt, and what I have found as a result. She deserves that much from me, at least.

Seeing no point in delaying the inevitable, Castle went in search of Beckett. He checked in first at the precinct, where the guys told him that she'd made an early day of it and went to visit Sorenson at the hospital. Good. At least there won't be an audience for this, and that includes Special Agent Judgmental. I'll just ask to speak to her outside because there's no way on this earth that I'm going to tell her in front of Sorenson. He would no doubt completely derail any chance I have of making amends with Detective Beckett. I've seen how he looks at her and I know that expression—he wants her back and I'm in the way.

Laughter, her laughter bubbled out from the designated room. At least Sorenson was out of the woods for now. He hated that he was about to upset her so terribly, not long after the stress she'd just been through, but there was nothing to be done at this point—it was too late.

He stepped partway into the room and knocked softly, but loud enough for them to know someone was there.

"It's the writer monkey." He looked at Kate and asked, "What's he still doing here?" then back at Castle. "Haven't you finished your book yet?"

"Last chapter" was Rick's quiet reply. He considered that there was something very poetic about his response, then discarded the random thought as he turned to Beckett. "Do you have a sec?" The look on her face was wary, but her curiosity overcame any misgivings she had about his sudden, unexpected appearance.

"Yeah."

"Watch him, Kate, he likes you." Okay, this is hard enough without your commentary, FBI-Man. Despite his inward annoyance, he remained silent.

"You'll have to forgive him, he is heavily medicated." Rick tried to smile, but other than the barest hint of an upturn at the corners of his mouth, he failed miserably. He made sure that the door was fully closed behind him, and then walked down the hall to where some chairs were positioned. Beckett decided to find out what had driven Castle to seek her out here—she knew that he didn't care for Will, nicknaming him "Tall, Brooding and Judgmental," so it must be important. But he still hadn't said anything. "You look awfully serious. Is everything okay?"

"Take a seat." He gestured to one of the blue chairs to his left.

"What?" She laughed a bit, nervously. Okay, now he's really scaring me.

"Sit down," he insisted.

She had never seen him act so serious. Ever. "Castle, what's going on?"

He swallowed and closed his eyes momentarily, trying to gather his courage. He took a half-step closer to her, thinking that her legs might not be able to support her long after he opened his mouth. Really, what he wanted was to be closer to her, just for a moment and probably for the last time. "It's about your mother…"

Watching the smile fade from her lips was pure agony for him. Then it got worse. Her eyes widened in shock as she realized what he was trying to admit to her. Beckett took one step back from him, then two, as if just being near him was the cause for this unexpected blow. I did this to her when I dredged up her past, he considered ruefully. If only I'd left it alone and never gone digging, she wouldn't be forced to deal with this again. There were so many ways I could have done things differently and we never would have come to this conversation. To his credit, he continued to look directly at her, not avoiding the emotions he saw there, the emotions that his actions had put there.

Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper, the anguish evident in every word. "Why? I told you to leave it alone. I told you that we'd be done. Didn't you believe me? Have I ever led you to believe I'd take this lightly?"

"Please, Kate." He gently touched her arm. She shrank back from the contact, and from his use of her first name. Castle let his hand fall back to his side. "I never meant for any of this to hurt you. I just wanted to help…"

"I told you to leave it alone," she repeated. "I even told you what it did to me the first time around, thinking that would be the end of it, that you had some genuine human compassion deep down that would prevent you from intruding where you had no business. But you're so concerned with your stupid book that you wouldn't respect my feelings on the subject!" Her voice was steadily gaining volume; he noticed a nurse glance up from her station.

When he started speaking again, his voice was significantly lower than hers hoping her subconscious would recognize that they were starting to make a scene. "I didn't know your feelings when I started. Truly. I would have left it alone if I had. But by the time I brought it up to you, I had already given the file to a forensic pathologist I've worked with in the past."

"What? You've given out my mom's file? Of all the…"

"Wait, before you finish with a well-deserved adjective about my actions, there's more that I need to tell you."

"More? Like what, Castle? What could you possibly say to justify this?"

"It's not a justification. It's information. Dr. Murray found some things you need to know."

She took a deep breath. "Castle, I told you before. I can't do this. I just can't. I will get sucked down, and I don't think I'll ever be able to come back up again." She shook her head and finally sat down in a chair.

He lowered himself into the seat next to the one she had taken. He reached out to hold her hand, to somehow soften what he had to tell her, but then Rick remembered her earlier reaction. His touch would bring no comfort to her right now so he linked his hands together in his lap to avoid making another mistake. "You're stronger than you realize. Remember what I told you in this very hospital not so long ago? You're extraordinary because you don't give up and you don't back down."

"This one is just too personal. It's my mother, Castle."

"I know it is. And that's why I wanted to help."

"Then you should have left it alone." Her voice was rising again. "But you didn't." She sighed heavily and took a deep breath. "Alright. Tell me what you know and be done with it."

He related what Dr. Murray had shared with him about the stab wound to her kidney being twisted and the other wounds being for show, inflicted after she was on the ground. He told her about the three other stabbings that had been dismissed as random. "Don't you see what this means? Your mother wasn't killed on some passing whim by a gang thug. She was killed for a reason. We could find that reason and…"

She cut him off, too wounded and too furious to let him suggest yet again that he help her. "Thank you," she bit out sarcastically, "for your consultation on this matter. I think I have enough information to take it from here." Her eyes were threatening to spill tears and she was not going to let him watch them fall. She ran her hand through her hair and stood up. "I need you to leave now."

When he stood up but made no further movement, she turned away from him and began walking down the hall. He followed her, finally grasping her arm to halt her rapid progress. "Wait, please." She glanced down to where his hand held her arm, and then moved her gaze to lock with his. "Let go, Castle." He released her and contemplated what he might say to somehow fix all of this.

She spoke first. "I said we'd be through. And we are. I don't want to see you again at the precinct—I don't want to see you again, period. Your research with me is done. Have a nice life, Castle." She spun on her heel and left him standing there, quickening her step past Sorenson's room as she headed for the stairs. As he watched her walk away from him, more hurt and angry than he'd ever seen her, he knew that his biggest fear was coming to pass. She would never forgive him.