The Mockingjay and the Albatross
Sequel to - Mockingjay and the Chameleon.
Author: Howlynn Realm: The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins Story Title: The Mockingjay and the Albatross Summary: Katniss and Finnick renew their friendly adoration. Character/Relationships: Finnick Odair/ Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy/ Katniss Everdeen
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author notes: Ahhh – thanks for the kind reviews.
Warning: This may be an addictive substance, please check with your personality profile before beginning the program. Not responsible for any feelings of feelings you may experience. Not responsible for dark smexy feelings or nightmares about Fanfic characters. Tears are not a bug -they are a feature. If you are easily offended - do not read past this point. Seriously -stop while you can.
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Salt on the rim
Everyone assumes Katniss Abernathy – Mellark ends up with Peeta at the end of Mockingjay and Chameleon. What if that wasn't the last love story?
Takes place approximately 40 years after the last hunger games. Please review.
Salt on the rim - Chapter 2
There are days that kill you. There are days you think you will survive. There are days you wonder how you have managed to grieve for so long and why isn't it any better? There are days when the calls of your lost ones seep in your soul and rip you apart.
It has been twenty-seven years since I felt him inside me. But sometimes, when I dream, I can still feel his breath in my ear and I reach for him. Then, all these years later, my heart feels the crushing weight of the hovercraft on the mountain. I remember the year that I realized; I had been without Haymitch as long as I had had him. Those sore days, when you hate the world for taking them, are never going to leave, because behind each day you miss them more than you can stand, is another.
I can still see his shock as he realizes my dinner knife is embedded a half inch into the expensive table, so close to his fingers, he could have lost one. I remember the appraisal of those hard, malicious, gray eyes. I couldn't know then it was the first spark of love. I didn't love him then. I didn't love the boy across the table from me who the man had just punched in the face either.
Back then, I only loved a little girl who would grow up to be a doctor. How many people has that action saved now? It cost a lot of lives, my rebellion. His rebellion. But Dr. Hawthorne has redeemed us somehow. I should say the doctors Hawthorne. Three of Prim's children followed her and Gale's little brother into the practice.
The grouchy old drunk would father five of my eight children and the boy on the floor with the bleeding nose, the other three. Not in sequential order mind you. The baker's son was my second husband, but my first husband never denied me the mutual admiration of the pleasures of three within our marriage bed. You would have had to know Haymitch to understand how that could work out as a happy ending for everyone. But I knew happiness beyond description in those men's arms. To hell with what you kids think, we deserved that joy in each other after what we'd all been through.
Twenty-seven years have gone by since then and I can still feel the shadows of that world. I can still smell our sweat as we danced our shivering embraces. I can still remember the shining beauty of their eyes as we all woke and put on our public faces. The President, his Mockingjay and the devoted security advisor often caught tangled together in the early dawn by their stylist, Cinna.
Uncle Cinna to our children. All my babies are grown now. They are politicians, like their fathers, except for Finnick, who is a painter and sculptor. Peeta and I spent as much time on campaign with the kids as we ever did with Haymitch. Haymitch would be so damned proud of them. Haymitch Jr. is a softer kinder version of his father. I like to think of him as what Haymitch would have been, if he had not lived twenty-five years mentoring the hunger games. Hay Two is now just a little younger than his father was when I met him. His face will never wear the burdens his father tried so hard to drink away. But he has that same dry sarcasm and brooding calculating mind as the late President.
Peeta stood by me during all my dark times after the accident that took my once-scruffy hero and sent the whole country into mourning. We survived his death together. We married, just as Haymitch had always meant us to do. Then, I stood by Peeta as he began to loose his mutts. Peeta the Mutt Lord, loved those damned ugly things. In the end I guess I half did too. But they were not programmed for long life. At about the twenty-year mark the faithful dependable aged things began to fail. Six years ago, Rax-9 was the last and Peeta pampered that poor elderly thing until he almost broke my heart. I didn't understand what he suspected then. I never saw him cry for the loss of his mother, father and brothers when district twelve was bombed off of the map, but when that last mutt finally gave up the ghost, Peeta cried for days. He knew his own time was short.
We were In Old District Four, trying to scare up votes for some project that Young Cinna had going. He was Old Cinna's favorite of course and everyone was enjoying a happy morning socializing with Annie and Finnick Odair. Peeta looked odd. But, he was sure the seafood had just set with him wrong. He stood up to make his speech and he looked up and smiled to the audience, told a joke and was off on his spiel of the virtues of the new legislation when he stopped and seemed focused on the back of the room. He came around the podium and smiled and said one word, then dropped off the stage like a stone.
I know what I heard and I know what it meant. Peeta said "Haymitch?"
They called it a brain aneurysm. His heart was buried in the clearing at Mockingjay Rock, next to Haymitch and Gale. I donated his body to science. I don't know if there are any other mutt people out there made by the Old Capitol but it was that programming that killed my Peeta. That old Mutt code gave out on him just like it had his poor devoted creatures. That terrible technology was long destroyed by the time they realized it might have had other use besides the evil that Coriolanus had employed it for. So the kids and I all decided that Peeta would be more use if he could help some other victim. I have been without Peeta now for three years, almost four, and I can't say they have been any kind of easy.
I look out the window of the train and I wonder what he will think of me for just showing up like I am doing. It doesn't matter what he thinks if you want the truth. I haven't seen him since her funeral and it is that dangerous second year anniversary. He isn't the friendliest individual according to my kids who make excuses to check on him.
The first year, you are still in a fog about loosing someone. Everyone pays attention and you feel nothing other than strangely surprised. It is the second year that gets you. That's when it sinks in that this is for all time. Words like forever and never begin to have true meaning and stop just being sounds you say.
Annie died of kidney disease two years ago next week. Finnick stopped answering calls two months ago. I know he's ok, because I talk to his kids, and mine. My oldest girl married his oldest boy. I have grandchildren older than I was when I entered the hunger games. I cheated on Haymitch one time before we were married. He knew about it before I even got home. We never discussed it and I never did it again. But the only man that I would have ever cast a second glance at, after finally winning the Haymitch award, was Finnick Odair. Once he was known as the Panem Playboy. The kids look at me like I am insane when I tell them that. They think they are the only ones who were ever young and pretty.
Every breath I have taken since the rebellion, I can say I owe to Finn. He is my friend and I won't let him be alone right now. We have spent our lives taking care of the people we love, and now we are just two old farts who nobody understands. They don't know why we are so grumpy and outspoken about the past, but they were not there.
I watch the old district come into view. I lug my suitcase off the train and check into my hotel. Within an hour I am walking up and down the docks looking for his old wreck of a tub he named MockingJo. I spy his trawler finally, docked in a run down section of the marina. I lean over the railing and observe the old guy staring out to sea and methodically darning a net that weighs more than I do.
What hair he has left is gray and unkempt. His face is lined and hard while his middle has gone a bit soft. His once golden skin has deepened to mahogany leather. He is still muscled but his physique has barreled. I watch him for a long time, enjoying being near him without his notice. I wonder if he will recognize me, I have chopped my hair off and Peeta's cookies and eight babies had long ago warped my girlish figure into what Peeta called lumpilicois and I called fat.
"You going to stand up there all day Katniss? If you promise not to shoot arrows at me I have a box of sugar cubes and a pot of coffee below."
"You always were a charmer, Finn. What gave me away?"
He turns and grins, a couple teeth down from a capital smile. "Been expecting you for about a week now. Your daughter doesn't keep secrets any better than you do."
"You're one to talk. Babblefish." I tease.
I step across onto the boat and feel off balance by the movement for a second. He grabs my hand and steadies me. "Good to see you, baby. You are as beautiful as ever." He says pulling me to him in a hug.
"They let you drive this big old boat after failing that eye exam, pretty boy?" I hug him back as if I could break him. He reeks of fish and sweat and I don't care, I bury my face in him and inhale.
"When did you get here?" He bends his head to me and I feel his breath on my scalp.
"About an hour ago?"
"You been spying on me for twenty minutes I know about. Didn't you go to the kids?" He tilts his head with curious observation. Green eyes lock on me bright and as beautiful as they ever were. "Everything ok, baby?"
"You won't take my calls." I say with a smile.
His mouth opens and pauses. He sighs, looking away, he sounds irritated. "You came all this way because I decided I am not at anyone's beck and call now?"
"Fine. Don't answer. You stopped calling me too. You trying to hurt an old ladies feelings or are you just pissed off at me?" I match his irritation.
"Not much left to say Katniss." He mumbles.
"So you are mad?"
"No." he throws things about and seems like he won't say more. I wait for his tantrum to end. He sets a foot up on his railing and leans over staring at the water. "Nobody talks about her anymore. It's like they have forgotten her. They avoid anything to do with Annie, thinking I will fall apart if they tell a nice story about her. I can deal with memories, but I can't stand pretending like she never was."
I put my arms around him. "I know Finn. I have been there."
"Yeah. Guess you have at that. How the hell do you stand it?" He doesn't respond to me, but he doesn't pull away either.
"I talk about them anyway. Just like they are in the next room. Sometimes, I don't stand it at all. The kids, only knew that tiny side of him they saw. That sweet indulgent Haymitch and the Peeta who was so reasonable and silly. They missed so much of who they both really were." I say softly.
He swallows and squints out to sea. "How much do you know about how Haymitch and I came to be friends?"
I choose my words carefully. "I know you had an affair with him Finn."
He nods, surprised and still trying to decide how much to say. "Do you know the rest? About Annie?"
"Lets get that coffee," I pat his back and bend forward to keep from hitting my head on the bulkhead as I go below.
Away from the world we sit in comfortable silence. The boat sways softly and I wonder if it would turn my stomach if I had to deal with the movement for long. It is almost imperceptible and yet I know we are not on solid ground. I think of it like the sway of a tree and it helps. Finn puts a lot of sugar in my coffee. When, I take a sip it is still stiff enough to lower my voice an octave. "Good." I say making a face.
He grins and reaches in a compartment above me. He doesn't ask, just splashes a dollop of rum into my cup. "Going to get me drunk and take advantage of me, you twisted old fart?"
He looks at me confused. "Well, Yeah. Who could turn down this God-like splendor? Liquor you up and take you down to Treasure Island." He twists into silly poses that didn't look ridiculous on him once upon a time. For a second, that perfect insane capitol whore is before me and I am too innocent to look at his netting very closely.
I laugh and so does he as he slides into the seat with me. "You know Finn, I never liked you because you were pretty. You are just the same to me."
He smirks. "I know. The stuff everybody else cared about never impressed you much. That's why the only three women I ever worshiped were Annie, Mags and you. The rest cared about what they wanted. You guys could see me under the surface. Mags used to call it deep water."
"I haven't thought about her in forever." I admit with a smile.
"I do. I mean, hell, I am her age now Katniss. I keep waiting for all this hidden wisdom to drop out of the sky on me. She knew everything and I still feel as dumb as carp. We are all that's left really. Auntie Jo slips more every day. Went to see her last week and she didn't know me. I mean I am used to her thinking it's forty years ago and things, but she didn't know me." His eyes search my face like I might have an answer.
I nod. "I know. But it's good too. Our kids won't ever know the games. To them it is just a terrible fairytale. That's what matters. When we go, that first hand memory passes out of the world and I can't say that is a bad thing."
"Every year I subtract 24." He says with a smile. "I figure in another hundred years it will even out. The dead I mean."
"I stopped counting. I saved Prim. She became a doctor and gave birth to three more. The ones they have saved count too Finn. We made back the price in lives long ago. You don't have to count anymore."
He smiles the genuine smile I remember. "Wow. You're right baby. We win." He takes a deep cleansing breath and leans his head back closing his eyes. "Why do you stay Katniss. It's all over. The kids don't need us. Everything we love is gone. I am ready to go. I miss her too much. I want to be there, not here."
I reach up and touch his face, knowing exactly what he means. "Sometimes I don't have an answer for that myself."
"We could run away together. Sail this tub out in a storm and find them." His voice is so quiet I know he means it.
"I think I could go with you, pretty boy. Except right this minute, here with you, I feel kind of peaceful. It makes me happy to be around still. I don't want to leave yet. I want to be here." I admit with wonder.
He leans in to me, and smiles broadly without showing his teeth. "Me too. But as soon as you are gone, it will tumble into the drink and I can't stand the thought of it."
I frown. "Are you asking me to stay Finn?"
He leans back and looks at me. "Of course not. I was just joking around."
I am a little taken back at his gruffness. "You want me to go then?"
He slumps protectively over his coffee. "I don't want anything Mockingjay. Stay. Go, whatever you want."
"Then I will stay for a while." I whisper, afraid to speak too loud. We were getting along so well and now he's suddenly off in some way.
We sip our coffee. I take as long as possible, afraid he will expect me to go when my cup is empty. I am relieved when he stands and fills our cups again. He adds rum and sugar again without asking. The boat rocks softly as he flops back down in the seat next to me.
"Did you ever tell Annie? About our Goodbye?" I ask without thinking.
"No. I told her the rest. But not about that" He grins at me, eyes seductive and kind again.. "God that was a good day Katniss. You were so damned beautiful. That day is an immaculate memory to me, even the light of it is different in my mind. Did you ever tell him?"
I laugh. "I didn't have to. When I walked in, he said I needed a shower. I didn't get it when he said I needed to wash the fish off. I did fish at the lake often enough. I mean there was no way he could know. But he knew."
"Shit. What did he say?" he asks, eyes wide.
"He joined me for the shower. He was rather undeniable. I think if I had said no, he would have taken me by force anyway and then left me over it. I don't know, because we never spoke of it. He and I were a pretty volatile mix sometimes you know. But I needed to connect with him after being with you as much as he did. I responded in a big way. I caught on that he really knew for sure while we were in the moment so to speak. He was furious Finn. Never saw him like that again. He was never jealous of Peeta, ever. I didn't make any excuse. I didn't pretend not to know what upset him. I just said I was sorry and he forgave me at once."
He sighed. "I can't say I didn't worry about you. Scared shitless for about a month if you want to know the truth."
I am perplexed. "Really? You were afraid worried? You thought he might come after you?"
"Not exactly. But, yes that too." He has such a look of indecision on his face I am screaming with curiosity.
"Well? Just tell me Finn. It doesn't matter now." A nervous giggle escapes as punctuation.
"It could. Don't want to change him in your heart." The sea green eyes lock to me without mirth.
"I think I know Haymitch's flaws Finn. You won't."
"You didn't know him in pure darkness baby. You brought him light." He hints carefully. "The Quell gossip was not the first time he beat the shit out of me."
I grin. "Ok. Tell me yours and then I will tell you how I got him to quit drinking."
"I was just a kid you know. He was pretty spectacular back then. Look at your son and you know what I mean. But, they had done things to him. Terrible things Katniss, and he had had nobody. To help him. There was nobody to understand. It started out that he was just trying to help me. But, it got a lot bigger than that pretty fast. He got kind of possessive and so did I. Things went south. Then we had a blow out. Both of us spent time in the medical ward for it."
"You mean you guys were… a real couple?" I ask astonished. I knew Hay had been with men, even Finn, but had no idea he'd ever been out that way.
"We didn't speak for a long time. Then they came for Annie. Mags and I were just basket cases. Annie wasn't ready. She knew Haymitch, hell we'd gone to four together while we were still good. Anyway, she and he. Behind my back. To help her, but of course I couldn't see it that way at the time. So you, us… kind of must have looked like I did it in revenge. I wasn't sure he could ever forgive us if he found out. When I said he would kill me back then. I wasn't joking." He pulls his mouth as if he was sure he'd probably said too much.
"He might have I guess, if we had stayed at it. I think he hoped it was, exactly what it was. I think he got that it was goodbye. He watched us like a hawk for a long time after that you know." I think back to how he would pop up without warning to my absolute delight. How he and Beetee had everything bugged.
"He was a very dangerous man Katniss. I was afraid for you. I feared he would have a meltdown and you would just be gone. People could disappear around him. I don't know the real number. But I know that Lanus Snow sent between eight and eighteen assassins to district twelve to kill him. None of them ever returned and none of them were ever found." He says as if he doesn't expect me to believe him.
"There were eleven. They ended up in Greasy Sae's famous soup," I say with evil mirth.
"Wait. Didn't she cook in District 13?" He said laughing and turning a bit green at the same time. "After all these years of whoring and fishing, I didn't think I could gag any more. Thanks for proving me wrong."
I shrug and roll my eyes. "Twelvers weren't as Finicky as you spoiled Quads."
"But. What did you do with the heads?"
My eyes narrow, "You don't want to know." I say mysteriously, actually having no idea myself.
"Could have died well without that information Katniss. I need to learn not to ask you stuff if I don't want the answer." He says shaking his head and looking at the ceiling for help.
"I knew about Annie and him." I side glance him and smile.
"He told you?" He's leaning back in interest.
I blow on my perfectly cool coffee. I shake my head, savoring my little secret. "Nope. Annie told me." I enjoy the facial earthquake I created.
"When was this?" he demands.
"The day we got her wedding dress." I tell him casually.
I tell him that story minus one detail and the story of Haymitch's magic drinking cure. He laughs at my stories and we have more coffee. Spiked.
His arm is soon around me and we are giggling like teens. Of course, as teens we had never gotten to giggle, so it was about time it escaped out of our system.
"Seriously Katniss. Why did you come?" His voice has changed. He is an old man in longing and he studies my face searching for something.
"Because I promised your wife that I would never touch you again. And she covered my mouth and said I couldn't know that. She made me promise I would be here for you if she ever wasn't, and she promised to be there to help Haymitch, should it come that he lost me. I am keeping my promise to you wife and I am staying as long as you need me or will let me." I blurt it out before I lose my nerve. The rum helps.
His eyes widen, I have taken his breath away. The two of us are not attractive anymore, but Finnick Odair kisses me and it is as beautiful as any kiss I ever had. "Wow." I croak as he backs away.
"I haven't touched another between you and Annie." He says quietly.
I swallow. "Peeta." I shrug. "Aren't we too old Finn?"
"To old to play games." He says his forehead touching mine.
"I'm not playing Finn it's just….I don't look like I did then." I say dropping my eyes embarrassed.
"That's funny. You look exactly the same to me." He says with such sweet surety, I believe him. He kisses me and after a few minutes of it, ascetics no longer factor into our move onto the bunk.
We are in the middle of pleasure as only two old farts who have had no hope of finding any ever again can be. I wouldn't have stopped for a bomb, when one went off in the form of a grandkid screaming bloody murder and running from the scene of the crime. Parental footsteps barely give us time to find a blanket and cover our nakedness when the tirade begins.
"Oh my God. What the hell is going on here?" the voice I can't see but can identify even in it's horror demands.
Finn squirms around and yells. "What the hell do you think! Get out and learn to knock! Teach those younglings the art too."
"Are you two insane?" She screams. "Mother, what are you doing here!"
I sit up calmly with a sigh. "I am trying to have sex with Grampa Odair, sweetheart. So if you don't mind, we were not finished. We will see you at home. We are old, have patience."
"You can't be serious. You just scarred Joesea for life! Oh god, I am going to be sick." Rue says in revulsion and frustration.
"Then do it someplace else. You are already spoiling the mood." Finn adds in his gruff old growl.
She stands there, dismay on her face, finally turns and slams the door muttering something about nursing homes and heart monitors. I laugh. It infects Finn and he does too. "And you thought Haymitch was tough?"
"Yes, his daughter has always been a handful. To bad my son is a stubborn know-it-all just like me. I told him she would be a terrible catch. Of course you were pregnant with her during the last mission, so what do you expect. I guess we better get dressed and go face the music." He says with dejectedly hurt pride.
"Damage is done. Why stop now. We never were very good at keeping us a secret." I pull him back to me.
"Because I am not twenty-five years old anymore woman." He says poignantly.
"Once upon a time I had a teacher. He was an excellent teacher who found the idea of getting caught exciting." I say, sultry voice in his ear.
"The idea of getting caught Katniss. Not the act of getting caught." He says still not following me.
"It's so wrong Finn. We shouldn't do this at all. We should really just die old and alone with dignity, pretending like it never happened. I am just too bad, wanting you like I do. Wanting to make you…." His mouth on mine stops me.
"God you haven't changed a bit Katniss. You're so beautiful. Let them wait, this might be our last time." He says coming back to me and smiling his lusty grin.
"Shouldn't you lock the door?" I gulp.
"No…I don't think so…" He whispers darkly, as the boat answers our movement with subtle wake.
Hope you enjoyed it…. There will be a few more depending on reviews. The next one is more of Old Finn and family reaction - look for 'Violins' – soon to be available in a computer near you.