A/N: To answer the question about the fan, Bob would go into the bathroom and turn on the fan while he was on the phone so that it would mask the conversation, so Adrian couldn't hear what he was talking about in the next room. (He was, actually, planning to return her once he got the ransom, hence the reason he was keeping his identity concealed from her.) But when he got mad, he got distracted. First he forgot his keys, then Adrian further angered him by revealing that she was trying to use her phone to get help, so he had to come up with an impromptu Plan B which is what he went into the bathroom to do, but he forgot to turn on the fan because he was so angry and not thinking clearly, so Adrian overheard him telling the person he was on the phone (which would be the guy who abducted Adrian when her car got the flat) with where they were supposed to meet up (Josh's Peak at six). Oh, and a little bit later into this chapter, the middle school thing is a program that actually exists around my local area, so I thought it seemed like a realistic way to go.
Turning Tables
Unforgiven And Unforgotten
"What is a 'reveal party'?"
Ben whirled around, surprised to hear Ricky's voice behind him. In the month since Adrian's abduction by Ricky's biological father, they had spoken minimally, which Ben had been thankful for. It had been less awkward knowing and hating him before he'd learned the truth about Bob, now when he saw him, he couldn't hate him and yet he couldn't like him either, so he never knew what to say. "Uh–"
"It's a party thrown by expectant parents to reveal the sex of their unborn baby to their friends and family. Typically, the sex of the child is written down on a piece of paper and given to a baker who then bakes either a pink cake or a blue cake and when the parents cut into the cake at the reveal party, everyone finds out what the baby will be by the color of the cake."
Ben pointed to Alice and nodded. "What she said."
Ricky wrinkled his nose. "Do you have to bring gifts or something?"
Alice shook her head. "It's not a baby shower, no."
"Did you know about this?" Ricky asked, holding up an invitation with two giraffes on the front, one pink and one blue.
Ben pulled open his locker and retrieved an envelope the same size as the invitation Ricky was holding. "No, but I have a pretty good idea about what this is then. Found it in my locker just a few minutes ago."
"She didn't even tell me she'd had the ultrasound."
"She has been staying home a lot more lately," Ben replied. "Since…everything."
Ricky narrowed his eyes. "I know that, but she could have at least mentioned it. Or had the decency to deliver these invitations to our faces. This seems ridiculous anyway. Why would you throw a party to reveal the gender of a baby? That seems like something the parents should get to know first. If at all."
"Sex," Alice corrected, which earned her a nasty glare. "Gender is the societal expectations of being a 'man' or 'woman,' 'girl' or 'boy,' while sex is the biological classification of 'female' or 'male.' Although, to be fair, gendering goes hand-in-hand with sex as soon as it's assigned, but-"
"Thanks, Alice," Ben interrupted uneasily. "And…in all fairness," he said, avoiding eye contact with the drummer, "it'd be a little awkward if all three of us were in the room finding out the sex of the baby, don't you think?" He shrugged. "Maybe it's more comfortable for her to have us find out this way." He closed his locker and began to open his invitation. "Does it say how many people are coming?"
"Just 'family.'" He opened his card and flashed it at Ben. At the top it read: To Ricky and Family. "I'm assuming me, my foster parents, you, your father, Ms. Lee, and Adrian.
"When is it?" Alice asked curiously.
"This Friday," Ben and Ricky spoke at the same time.
The Asian teen smiled awkwardly and patted Ben's arm as she saw Henry coming towards them. "Well I'll just leave you here to talk then," she said before speeding off to greet Henry and turning him away from Ben and Ricky.
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"What is this?" Adrian asked, running the flat edge of her manicured nail under the black font on a neon blue piece of paper.
"I think I found you a job," Mr. Molina smiled proudly. "Granted, it's not a full time job and it's only a couple days a week – no insurance – but you will get a little spending cash and a few valuable things to put on a resume."
Adrian raised her eyebrows. "Tutoring?" she asked skeptically.
"With your grades, especially in writing and English – plus being bilingual – you're a shoe in! I've already spoken with the counselor at the middle school about it and she's ready to recommend your name if you're willing."
"What, exactly, would I be doing? Would I have one person that I work with regularly or something?"
"The middle school has a tutoring section in the library after hours, so the tutors just make themselves available there for whatever students come in for. It only pays about ten dollars an hour and you'd only be there two hours three days a week, after school. If that would work with your schedule."
Adrian pressed her hand to her chest, releasing an astonished cough. "Are you kidding?" she choked. "That would be – incredible. I mean, it's not much, but it's something. I don't have anything filling my time after hours since I've had to quit the majorettes and although I have submitted some job applications, I haven't heard anything back. That or the ones that I thought sounded promising I don't meet the age requirement for."
"So you're up for this, then?" Mr. Molina asked with a grin.
"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"
Mr. Molina frowned. "I just wanted to make sure," he said cautiously. "After everything you went through last month…I'd understand if you didn't feel comfortable-"
"Bob's back in prison," Adrian interrupted, her voice suddenly frigid. "He can't hurt me anymore, Ricky and D.A. Enriquez made sure of that…and I can't stay at home forever, otherwise that just means he won in the end anyway, right?"
The counselor nodded his head. "I see your point." He rested his hand on the phone receiver. "I'll make the call. Although, if you have any reservations in the future – if it's not working out, not what you expected, you don't feel comfortable – don't hesitate to let me know, alright?"
Adrian nodded. "How early could I start?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I'll try to get back to you by the end of today, alright? If you don't hear back from me, I promise we'll be in touch tomorrow at my earliest."
Adrian pressed the palms of her hands to the edge of the desk and pushed herself up, revealing her roughly six-months-pregnant belly. She laid her hand across the top her belly unconsciously and closed her eyes for a beat.
"Are you alright?" Mr. Molina asked, suddenly on his feet and ready to be at Adrian's aid.
The Latina shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine. Just low blood pressure, that's all. The doctor says it's pregnancy induced and should go away after the birth, it's just that sometimes when I stand up too quickly, my head just gets a little…" She wiggled her hand back and forth to the side of her head, unable to articulate herself. "Fine now, see?" she said, emphasizing her words by motioning her hand up and down from her head to her torso.
Mr. Molina looked her up and down skeptically before finally giving a nod of approval. "Don't hesitate to stop by the nurse's if you're feeling faint," he said as she turned to leave.
Adrian smiled behind a sheath of black hair. "Thanks for your concern, counselor."
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"There's something wrong with him," Henry whispered at lunch while leaning into his girlfriend's shoulder.
"I know," Alice agreed, equally hushed. "He's acting so much…"
"Cherrier-er."
"That's not a word," Alice frowned disapprovingly.
"Guys, I'm sitting right here," Ben announced without looking up from his cell phone.
Henry peered over Ben's shoulder. "Are you texting someone? You're always on your phone these days, you never talk to us anymore."
"As if you're one to speak," Ben frowned, finally looking up. "You and Alice are constantly on your laptops I-M-ing each other, so why should it even bother you?"
Alice folded her arms. "So what are you doing then?"
Ben pushed his phone across the table. "What do you think?" he asked. "My dad and I have been thinking about getting a crib for Adrian." He looked down. "For the baby, I mean."
Alice blinked. "Wow, Ben, that's almost three-hundred dollars."
"Yeah, but read it! It's convertible, so you can turn it into an actual bed when the baby outgrows the crib. I mean, sure, it's kind of expensive now, but doesn't it save money in the long run?" He watched his friends look suspiciously at one another and glared. "What?"
"You just seem…I don't know…" Henry mumbled.
"Excited."
"Yeah," Henry nodded.
"So?"
"Why?" Henry blurted out.
"Why not?"
"It just seems illogical," Alice replied, handing his phone back to him. "I mean, you've been so torn up about everything since you found out about Adrian and now you're like, 'Yay! Baby power!' What gives, Ben? It seems like – after recent events – you'd be even less inclined-"
"That's the thing," Ben interrupted. "I can't really explain it. But I feel like – like…maybe Adrian trusts me more than I thought? Don't get me wrong, okay? It's not like I want to have a baby in high school, but…ever since she texted me when Bob had her, I've just I – I feel like maybe she does have some kind of respect for me, you know? Like maybe I wasn't just her…" He looked down at the photo of the crib on his phone again. "Can't you two just be supportive?" he asked suddenly. "I'm trying to work with the cards I've been dealt, can't you just not be critical of that?"
Alice relaxed her shoulders and looked down at her half eaten peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich guiltily. "Sure, Ben," she sighed. "That's what friends are for, right?"
Henry grunted and gripped the edge of the table with a glare aimed at his girlfriend, then nodded. "Sure, man. We're here for you," he agreed, without completely taking his eyes off Alice.
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"Ricky won't know that I'm here, will he?" Adrian squirmed on the couch after school, avoiding eye contact with Dr. Fields. "I know Mrs. Shakur highly recommended you, but I feel a little…it kind of feels like a betrayal, you know? And – and I don't want Ricky to know."
"I don't discuss my patients with anyone they don't give me permission to discuss them with," Dr. Fields assured. "And I also won't see Ricky today, I've intentionally booked both of you on separate days so there would be no overlap and hence no potential awkwardness of running into one another. But, if you still don't feel comfortable, I would be glad to give you the name and number of alternative therapists."
Adrian shook her head. "No, it's okay." She smiled awkwardly and grabbed a pillow to lay across her belly. "Thank you, though. I've already seen you twice now, so what's the use in switching therapists at this point anyway? I'm just…nervous, that's all."
"Which is understandable, you went through quite a traumatic experience."
Adrian nodded. "Sometimes I still see him. In my head, I mean. Just little thinks will tick off a flashback, like seeing a loose nail in the wall and thinking of my popped tire or getting a runny nose and touching my face expecting to see blood on my fingers."
"Does that scare you?"
"I'm not so sure 'scare' is the right word. It's not like I'm afraid he'll come back. He and his accomplice, the one who physically kidnapped me and sent the ransom note, are both back in prison and locked up tight, so I'm not worried about them…"
"But?"
"But," Adrian sighed, "it just serves as a reminder of something else that I can't depend on; can't trust."
"What do you mean?"
"Well my whole life has been about a lack of trust: my dad up and leaving my mom before I was ever born, my mother constantly working so she could provide for us, my grandparents resenting me for bastardizing the family, my best friend Antonio for getting cancer and disappearing from my life, being the no-strings-attached School Slut, and then getting pregnant with a baby and I don't even know who the father is. It lacks…maybe trust isn't the right word? Stability, perhaps? Yeah, stability. I've never had anything truly stable in my life, nothing that lasts. And after what happened, it feels like I don't even have the stability of my own mind anymore. For example, for about a week or so before the abduction, I kept having this strange feeling, the one that you get when you feel like people are watching you, but I kept dismissing it. I don't have the mental stability to even trust myself." She cocked her head to the side. "Maybe 'trust' was the right word after all? See? I can't even settle on a simple word!"
Dr. Fields nodded understandingly. "This is perfectly normal, Adrian. You're in a very unique situation-"
"But it's problematic," she cut in, frustrated. "I keep second guessing everything I do. Maybe not right away, but eventually. Like with seeing you or Ben or-"
"Ben?" he asked, brows lifting curiously.
"Yeah," Adrian blustered. "Ben. I – we've been talking a little more in the last month. Not a lot, mind you, just a little, but he texts me occasionally now. He just asks little things, like how am I or something; small talk. I think I gave him the wrong impression."
"How do you mean?"
"When I saw him last week at school, he asked me how the baby was and…some other stuff, I can't recall. But then he mentioned the text I'd sent him when Bob had me, how he was so glad that I had texted him…like it really meant something to him, you know?"
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Well, no, not by itself…but I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't even send it to him on purpose." At the doctor's confused look, Adrian pulled out her phone and brought up her contacts, revealing the top name on her list to be Ben Boykewich. "It's alphabetical by first name," she sighed. "So him getting my text was purposeful in that I wanted someone to help me, but him getting my text was completely by chance. Grace would've got it instead, if it was alphabetical by last name. "
"So you're feeling guilty that you haven't been completely honest with him?"
"That. And that maybe I'm – I'm even looking forward to his texts and hellos in the hallway. But it's all under a false pretense."
"I understand your inner conflict," he nodded. "But maybe you should still embrace this new relationship? Don't misunderstand, I'm not advocating deception, but I do believe that you should have a relationship with Ben. Not necessarily a romantic one or even a friendship, but this boy has just as much chance of being the father as Ricky does, and you should take that into careful consideration."
"It just seems wrong. I'm no stranger to wrong, but at least when I've done things wrong before, I knew it and I didn't care. This is different." Adrian hugged the pillow a little tighter to her belly. "I don't want to talk about Ben and Ricky anymore."
Dr. Fields glanced at his clock. "We still have ten minutes left. Is there anything else on your mind?"
Adrian nodded. "The school counselor, Mr. Molina? He got me a job today. Not anything huge, not even 'part time' technically."
"Congratulations."
"It's at the middle school, tutoring."
"Are you worried about this?"
"A little bit," the Latina admitted. "Not about the tutoring itself, but just about the commuting. I've been staying at home more, since Bob. I want to do this, I really do…but ever since I said agreed, I've just been thinking about all the things that could happen. 'What if? What if? What if?' It's just another one of those things that I can't settle my mind on."
"I think the socialization and the feeling of helping others might be good for you," Dr. Fields said slowly. "But it would be understandable if you felt unease. It has only been a month."
"I know. And I just keep having to remind myself that I can't let him win."
"While I understand that," the doctor replied cautiously. "You also have to understand that not everything is about winning, Adrian. Sometimes the things that are best for you turn out to be the losses."
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"Hey, Ricky!" Grace chirped, running up to him as band practice ended.
Ricky quickened his pace across the grassy football field. "What are you still doing here, Grace? I thought cheerleading practice ended an hour ago."
"I thought I'd wait," she said, jogging to keep up with him. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm fine." He caught her glancing at his hands, which still had faint yellow bruises on the knuckles and quickly folded his arms.
"Did you get your invitation?" she asked brightly.
"You knew about this too?"
Grace nodded excitedly. "Adrian told me she was going in to find out the sex of the baby last week! I didn't go with her, mind you, but I'm so excited! I can't wait to know what the baby's going to be, then I can finally pick out a baby gift!" She clapped her hands together like a child. "Did you like the invitations?" she asked, face alight. "I helped Adrian pick them out! They're cute, aren't they? Little pink and blue giraffe babies!"
"It doesn't seem like Adrian," he snorted. "Throwing a party like this."
"Oh, it wasn't her idea. Mine either. It was George's."
"George? As in her mother's married boyfriend, George?"
"Yep," Grace replied with a little twitch of her nose. "He's actually a rather nice man, if you don't think about the adultery. I can see why my mom was attracted to him. He got an interesting personality."
"I thought it was just family?"
"Oh, it is," Grace nodded. "Just anyone related – or possibly related – to the baby. George won't be there, I won't be there…although I wish I could. Maybe Ben could video tape the moment the cake gets cut? He's good with a video recorder, Ben. We have the same English teacher, but different periods. She used a video project he did for the class as an exemplar in our class the other day, it was really good! I was thinking maybe-"
"I have to go."
Grace's face melted. "Oh."
"I have homework, a test," he lied.
"What subject?" she asked, eyes sparkling. "Maybe we could study together? I miss hanging out with you, Ricky. I know I've been hanging out with Adrian a lot, but you're my friend too and I know you've been going through just as much-"
"I have people to talk to." At her hurt look, he felt a twang of guilt and added, "Not that you're not a good person to talk to, but…it's complicated."
Grace bowed her head. "I understand. If you change your mind, though-"
"Thanks."
Grace smoothed her cheerleading skirt. "Well…I guess I'll see you later, then."
Ricky watched her disappear down the hall and started to turn away, then curled his fist. "Grace! Grace, wait!" He charged back down the hall after her and nearly ran her over as she came jogging back around the corner. "Who picking you up?" he asked suspiciously.
Grace blinked innocently. "I was going to take the bus."
Ricky sighed. After what had happened with Adrian, there was no way he was going to allow that. "No, I'll take you home."
"You don't have to-"
"I'm taking you home."
Grace's face brightened and she tossed her arms around his neck. "Thanks, Ricky! You're a good guy."
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The following day, Adrian found herself alone in the back of the middle school library. There were two main middle schools in the area and this was not the one that she attended with Antonio three years ago. It did, however, vaguely remind her of her old school, in that she had spent hours upon hours at the school library the weekend after she had learned of Antonio's cancer, researching the options. In a sense, she was glad it wasn't her old middle school, because she didn't know if she could take seeing that place again.
Adrian looked across the room. At the far table there was one other tutor, who was there for science and math. Her name was Linda and she was a junior from the Grant's local rival high school and she was currently busy tutoring a couple of seventh grade boys who had come in an hour ago. That was how long Adrian had been sitting there: an hour. She only had one more hour to go and in some ways, it was actually quite agonizing. The only positive that she could see out of the situation was that she had just earned ten dollars for doing absolutely nothing.
With a dejected sigh, the ex-majorette reached into her backpack and drew out her English book. "Might as well get my own homework done if there's nothing else to do." So for twenty minutes, she buried her face into her AP English text until she heard the sound of someone approaching and looked up, expecting to see the librarian passing by again. But to her surprise, it was the middle school principal, Principal Miller, who she'd met when she arrived, and a young brunette haired girl in a plaid mini skirt and an oversized sweatshirt in the middle school colors, with their school mascot plastered onto the front. Adrian snapped her book closed and rose to her feet like a soldier at attention.
"Ms. Lee," Principal Miller smiled. "I'd like to introduce you to a very special student of mine, Ashley Juergens."
Adrian felt her tongue become fat inside her mouth. She chose to nod instead of speak.
"Ashley, this is our newest English and Spanish tutor, Adrian Lee. She's here from Grant High, where your sister goes."
Ashley scowled. "So I've heard."
Adrian bit down on the sides of her tongue and forced a smile. "It's nice to meet you."
When Ashley remained silent, Principle Miller motioned to the table and dropped a single white sheet of paper onto it. "Ashley is working on an English research paper and presentation," she explained. "She needs it in order to pass her eighth grade English this year, so if you could work on it with her and advise me on your progress-"
"Absolutely!" Adrian agreed, forcing another smile. She picked up the paper and pretended to look it over so she could avoid eye contact both the principal and Ashley.
"Wonderful. I'll be looking forward to the updates." She nodded towards Ashley. "We'll talk later, Miss Juergens."
Adrian waited until the principal had left and then she sank back into her seat, only looking at Ashley once the middle schooler had sat down as well.
"I know how write," Ashley announced monotonously, as she yanked the hideous school sweatshirt over her head and shoved it to the end of the table.
"Really?" Adrian asked, realizing afterwards how snide she sounded. "Then why are you here for tutoring?" She looked the girl up and down, noting the skull and crossbones t-shirt she was wearing. "And for that matter, why were you escorted here by the principal of all people?"
"Funny," Ashley scoffed. "I was just thinking about asking you personal questions too, like why my father is living at your house."
Adrian shut her mouth and looked down at the English assignment. "You'd have to ask him."
There was silence at first, followed by: "I'm failing English."
Adrian lifted her head. "I thought you said you knew how to do English?"
"I do," Ashley replied, glaring over the monotone of her voice. "But some people can't appreciate a persuasive essay on why persuasive essays are a waste of time. Apparently 'thinking outside the box' is only acceptable as long as you're still thinking within the box of the teacher."
Adrian smirked. "Let me guess, you already have several strikes against you, don't you?"
"I'm on 'The List' if that counts."
"'The List'?"
"The List that details which kids need watching out for."
"And what did you do to deserve that honor?"
Ashley stood up, revealing her bare mid-drift. "I dared to be comfortable with my body."
Adrian slid the assignment across the table to the younger girl. "Well there you go!"
"Excuse me?"
"'Research a prominent social issue and write a six to eight page persuasive essay on the topic, accompanied by a visual aid presentation.' And that's your topic: the feminine beauty ideal."
Ashley narrowed her eyes and lowered herself back into her seat. "Did you not hear what I got a failing grade for last time?"
"Loud and clear, but is the beauty ideal not a social issue? Is it not a feminist issue? There's a wealth of material on it. In fact, it might be a little overwhelming. But legitimate? Absolutely."
Ashley strummed her fingers across the page and slowly began to nod. "I could work with this."
Adrian nodded. "The only question is: where do you want to start?"
Ashley looked over her shoulder towards the library computers and back at Adrian. "Thanks," she said abruptly. Then added confidently, "But I still don't like you."
Adrian shrugged. "I'm not here for you to like. I'm just here to help you pass English."
"Well, good. As long as that's understood."
Adrian smiled. "Then I'm sure we'll get along beautifully."
