Love is Pain
Part Two

"Uwahh! What's up with Bern, anyways? S-she was so mean…!"

Lambdadelta had been wailing to herself like this for the past five minutes or so. The burning pain in her tongue had healed somewhat, so she could shout all she wanted.

Being a witch had all kinds of perks. When it was certain an injury would heal, if given a little time, Lambdadelta was able to patch up these small scrapes and scratches a lot quicker than a normal human's body could. It was certain the wound would heal at some point, and her magic enabled that certain outcome to occur a lot quicker than usual.

Magic sure was handy~

Lambdadelta was so good at crying she truly put Leviathan, the Stake of Envy, to shame. Leviathan was a very unfortunate girl who had been born under an unlucky star, requiring her to exist in a state of constant jealousy. Of course, being jealous of everything and everyone means you have very low self worth, and that isn't conductive to creating a happy person.

But Lambdadelta could cry even harder than she could.

That really wasincredible.

Lambda's tears were just a mark of how much she loved her beloved Bern.

Or maybe they were further proof that she was a manipulative brat who was good at feigning emotion.

Snivelling, Lambdadelta clutched one of her pillows her chest, burying her head in the nice warm softness. Even so, it wasn't really comforting.

It wasn't comforting because it wasn't her lovely Bern.

"H-hngh… Bern… … W-why are you so cruel…?"

Lambdadelta's tongue didn't hurt anymore- but now her eyes did. They were rimmed red from her waterfall of tears, and they stinging horribly because she'd wiped them so often. Her throat hurt as well.

Maybe she was getting a temperature.

Maybe she was dying.

Well then… Maybe, if she died, Bern would be sorry then. Hahahaha~

But, still... dying to prove a point didn't seem like very much fun.

Bernkastel probably wouldn't care if she was dead, anyway. She'd just coolly sip her tea, just like a real lady, and avert her eyes- 'looking at you makes me want to vomit…' That wasn't something you said to somebody you cared about.

Lambdadelta hiccupped, the sound muffled by her pillow. Now her temper tantrum had died down she didn't have to energy to do anything much other than curl up into a ball with a pillow and mope.

Lambdadelta pouted. It was a very cute pout but, sadly, nobody was there to see it. Because nobody could see it, it was pointless… so it soon slipped from her lips. There was no point expressing emotion if nobody could witness it, after all.

If Bernkastel didn't return Lambdadelta's feelings, did that devalue the strength of her love?

Did it mean her feelings… were worthless… …?

Was she deluding herself, thinking Bern would ever care for her?

Well, some people did say love was a delusion in itself. Mutual love was only a delusion that two people had chosen to believe at the same time.

Could 'love' even exist in the twisted, withered heart of a witch like Bernkastel? Was she too broken to feel 'love' like an ordinary person?

It was true Lambdadelta wanted to posses Bernkastel aaaaall to herself~ She wanted to lock her pretty Bern up in a cage and never let her escape. Lambda had lost too many things in her life, and it would have killed her if she lost Bern, too.

Was that kind of possessive nature normal?

…It probably wasn't normal.

It was creepy and over the top and way, way too obsessive, and any normal person would have run away from such intense feeling. What did they call people who wanted to lock up the ones they loved? Stalkers?

Maybe Bern was… scared of her…?

But Lambdadelta did like being with Bern, she really did, and that was because… oh, because… she didn't know; she couldn't put it into words.

Lambdadelta wore so many masks she hardly understood her own feelings anymore.

She wanted to be with Bern because life was dreadfully, painfully, unbearably boring without her. Bern might have been cold and aloof, but that was fun, that was part of the challenge, and when Bernkastel returned her hugs and caresses with some kind of affection Lambdadelta always felt her heart swell with happiness.

Lambda wanted to be with Bern because, strangely enough, she actually liked that funny, apathetic witch, and thought listening to her cold reprimands was funny, and thought she oh-so-cuuuute when, every once in a millennium, she actually smiled.

That was it, really.

It was that simple.

Lambdadelta wanted to be with Bernkastel because she liked her.

"I… really do care for you, you know… You idiot."

But Bernkastel would never hear those words. She was cynical and she didn't believe in love. She didn't believe she herself deserved to be loved. So when Lambdadelta told her, Bernkastel thought she was lying.

Their relationship was one that could never work.

Well, there was one thing Lambdadelta knew for certain.

Without Bern, she felt lonely. When she felt lonely, she felt limp and listless, quite unlike her unusual self. And when she wasn't like her usual self, everything seemed bland, grey and drab. Even thinking up weird insults and death threats lost its fun. Even the most delicious cakes lost their flavour. Even mocking that stupid little maid girl- oh, but she was the 'great witch' Beatrice now, huhhh?~- was boring.

Fortunately for Lambdadelta (or maybe unfortunately, it depends how you look at it), she wasn't the only one in the meta world who felt lonely. Just like two magnets, these two lonely people naturally fell together- as melancholy people are able, very easily, to find others experiencing the same emotions as them.

A soft pressure alighted on Lambdadelta's bed.

Fingers pressed against the witch's shoulders.

A light, teasing voice split the air.

"Oh my… Being in love really isa trial, isn't it?~ People claim love is something beautiful, but that is an illusion created by blind-sighted fools who haven't plumbed the realdepths of the most obsessive, upsetting types of love… Fufufufu~ Love is not soft and warm, or Valentine's Day chocolates. That's fake; it's a dream, a delusion, a childish fantasy! Real love…" A series of giggles; intrusive fingertips pushing against Lambdadelta's chest, as though they were trying to burrow inside her flesh. "Real love hurts right here… Doesn't it… …?~"

Lambdadelta stiffened slightly at these touch, at those words.

That voice was deceptively light and innocent, just like a schoolgirls'. However, the actual words were very dark and twisted.

Those wide, bright blue eyes; that impossibly large smirk; that bright outfit, so gaudy and colorful it even put Lambdadelta to shame…

It was Furfur.

Urgh.

Most people saw Zepar and Furfur as fun figures who existed to add a splash of color to the too-white meta world. Most people thought they were harmless. After all, they ruled over love- and what was more harmless than a sweet, fluffy emotion like that?

…Those people were idiots.

Lambdadelta had always thought Zepar and Furfur were dangerous. They had no real physical fighting skills, but they could manipulative emotionally- and wasn't that more damaging than physical pain?

Physical pain healed. Pain in the heart, however…

Lambdadelta didn't want to talk to Furfur. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody- let alone a demon who was perhaps more sadistic than she was.

It wasn't that she was afraid, per say. Lambdadelta wasn't really afraid of anybody. She was a lot stronger than most of the other witches, even if they had booted her out of their special little tea party club. Lambda figured that was probably because they feared her.

But Lambdadelta was still wary around Zepar and Furfur.

At least only half of the creepy twin duo had come to 'console' her. They were significantly less of a threat by themselves.

"What are you doing here?" Lambdadelta said, glaring.

Furfur smiled sweetly. "My, my- don't sound so accusatory! I was attracted here by the sound of a fair maiden's lovely tears and, being a demon of love, I was compelledto comfort you!"

Lambdadelta pouted childishly, puffing her cheeks out like a blowfish. Seizing the pillow at her chest, she threw it roughly at Furfur's head.

"I wasn't crying, stupid! I was angry 'cause my lovely Bern is being so nasty- but I'd never cry! At least…~ Not truthfully, fufufufu~"

"Uuu. Don't throw stuff at me," said Furfur, returning Lambda's pout. The demon tried to pat down their disordered hair, lime green fingernails contrasting against all that orange hair. "I just want to help! Is this how my calm, soothing presence is rewarded?"

"You? Calm and soothing? In thatoutfit? Don't make me laugh. You're giving me a headache just by sitting there. Kikikikyahahahaha!~"

Ahh, laughing like that did make her feel a bit better~

"Well, it's not nice to resort to insults based on appearance," said Furfur, dropping the melodramatic speech in a manner that was kind of sweet. "Anyway… You might not have been crying on the outside, but you were crying from your poor, tortured soul! Demons of love can hear feelings like that from inside the heart, you know?"

Lambda rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Where's your partner in crime, anyway? It's weird hearing you talk for an extended period of time without that deep, manly voice cutting in every few seconds."

"My darling Zepar has a lovely voice," said Furfur defensively. "It's so beautiful, I wish I could listen to it whisper sweet nothings in my ear for the rest of eternity… Ahhh, to be so captured only by a voice… …~ That is real love, hmm?~"

"Oh, yawn. You talk too much even without your twin. Or maybe you're trying to compensate 'cause they're not there?"

"Mm, and I do wonder~"

"And you still haven't answered my question. Why are you here, really? And where's Zepar?"

Furfur's wide smile faltered somewhat, as the demon of love- now uncharacteristically unsure- began to distractedly play with their hair. Furfur looked just a little… upset…?

Speaking softly, Zepar said shyly, "Well… Even I have arguments with Zepar sometimes, too…"

It sounded like they were confessing to some great, grave secret- and, really, given Furfur's nature, they were.

Lambdadelta's eyes widened by a fraction, so her face was eaten up those large, crimson irises. Her face looked paler for it.

"Whoa… You mean, even you guys have arguments sometimes…? I don't believe it!"

"It's true."

"But you're not even, like, two people! You're always together- you might as well be one entity! You can't have an argument like, ever! That'd be like if I had a debate with my stomach about… about… about the delicious-ness of strawberry cheesecake! We have to agree with everything because we're made up of the same stuff! Aren't you two like that?"

"Well, usually, yes, but…"

Furfur sighed, idly coiling strands of hair round a finger. The look on their face was of complete and utter dejection, so dissimilar from the typical wide smile it was actually disconcerting.

There was a small pause.

Then… Furfur's shoulders began to shake.

There were actual tears in those blue eyes, which didn't seem as empty as they usually were. They were brimful of emotion now, like a witches' cauldron of swirling feelings.

"Z-zepar and I had an argument- a real argument! M-my lovely Zepar got m-mad with me… A-and now I'm all alone…! I-I don't want to be alone without my dear Zepar! U-uwaaaaaah!"

Furfur's violent sobs were similar to Lambdadelta's own overblown ones. However, Lambdadelta, a very proficient liar in her own right, got the feeling Furfur was being truthful for once. Given Furfur's overblown, over-dramatic nature, Lambda was sure there'd be at least be half a dozen Shakespeare quotes thrown around if Furfur was pretending to be sad. As it was, Furfur just sounded like a little child. There was nothing graceful about those tears at all.

Sniffing, Furfur wiped their eyes with the back of their arm, blinking winsomely at Lambdadelta. For the first time, Furfur looked less like the cheerfully sadistic demon they were, and more like a little girl whose hair had been pulled in the playground.

Anybody would have felt the need to hug a crying person like that.

However, Lambdadelta wasn't 'anybody'. She was a thoroughly nasty piece of work dressed in a too-pink outfit, and she thought other people's misery was interesting, and kind of funny.

"H-honestly, I was feeling really sad and, a-and… hic… I-I just wanted to find somebody to comfort me! W-without Zepar I feel like I'm missing half my body, like, an arm and a leg and a lung, and my heart… A-and… I-I… I…"

Furfur looked up at Lambdadelta from under the long lashes, spiky with tears.

Speaking softly, childishly, Furfur whispered, "I… j-just want a cuddle…"

Lambdadelta's eyes widened slightly.

Then, she snorted, whacking Furfur upside the head with the pillow once more.

"You are impossible, you idiot," Lambdadelta cooed. "I didn't know you had such a useless side, too- you always act so disgustingly happy."

"W-well, I'm still human, too!"

"Human?"

"D-demon… W-whatever… There isn't that much difference." Sniff, sniff.

Lambdadelta's eyes softened slightly as she watched Furfur cry. It was kind of cathartic.

"Okay, I guessI could give you a hug," said Lambdadelta, looking down disdainfully at Furfur. "If you're that uselessss. However, what am Igonna get in return? I don't give out my love for free, you know, kikikikikiki~~"

"U-um, well…" Smiling, Furfur wiped more tears from the corners of those eerily blue eyes. "I can tell you how to make Lady Bernkastel return your feelings."

Lambdadelta looked at Furfur suspiciously.

"I'm not an idiot, you know! I've seen you screw around with people's relationships before! You give people false hopes of helpless romances and then you cut those feelings down!"

"Hn? False hopes? Was not Puck trying to help the hopeless lovers when he doused their eyes with love-in-idleness?"

"No, he screwed everything up."

"But Helena and her beloved Demetrius had a happy ending!~"

"Only because of a magical flower; and I wonder how that relationship would've turned out when it wore off… But, whatever…! I'm not interested!" said Lambdadelta, flicking Furfur on the forehead. "Why should I take your advice? You just want to see me, the great Lady Lambdadelta, make a fool out of myself! I don't need to accept the advice of anyone because I'm Super Paper, see?"

"Aw?~ You don't trust me? I only bring loving couples together to make them happy, you know!" Furfur pulled a face. "It's not my fault that, sometimes, certain deluded people ask for romances that are impossible… Magic can only do so much, you know?"

"Of courseI know that; everybody knows miracles don't exist."

"That's right. But your relationship with Lady Bernkastel… it can be resolved without miracles. All you need is a little prodding in the right direction. Because you're actually really useless with people's feelings, aren't you?" Furfur smiled sweetly, tipping their head to one side. "I'll just make you a bit less clueless, that's all~"

"I'm not clueless! I'm the best at playing Cluedo- way better than Beato and Gaap! And I make the best Miss Scarlet!" Lambda shot back childishly. "But, um…" She relented slightly; mingled doubts and hopes beginning to eat away at her resolve. "Fine. I guess I'll let you give me some advice. It doesn't mean I have to act on it."

She looked down at the bed.

Then, with a small sigh… she held her arms aloft.

"Now come here."

"T-thank you…~"

"And I'm not doing this because I like you, okay? I still think you're a creepy waste of space. I just didn't want you to get everything all wet with your tears. It's pathetic, really."

"Hehe~ Sure…"

With a few timid words of thanks, Furfur crawled up to Lambdadelta, letting the blonde witch pull her into a hug. Tentatively, Furfur returned the embrace, resting head against Lambda's chest just like a child seeking comfort from a parent.

"Lambda smells of sweets~" Furfur said, voice light and sing-song. "And cake. It's funny, because she looks so adorable on the outside, but… fufufu~ The poisonous apples are the ones that look the most appealing, right?"

"I don't know what you mean! I don't understand at aaaaall!"

Furfur giggled softly. "It's nice playing dumb to avoid serious accusations against your character, huh?~"

"Well, you're no better than me."

"Maybe that's true. Or maybe… Maybe I want all the couples I bless to succeed and be happy. Maybe I want true love to conquer all." Furfur sighed. "And maybe even a demon like me, who preys on the unhappiness of others, feels sad when those fairytale romances are ultimately doomed."

"Not even all fairytales have happy endings. Not even humans are stupid enough to delude themselves into believing everything ends cheerfully. What about the Little Mermaid, the Mother's Tale, Bluebeard? Those aren't happy stories."

"Mm… It's sad that, even when creating fantasies, humans can be terrible realists… At least I can try and help you. I don't believe yourstory is fated to have an unhappy ending." Furfur smiled; the small, earnest expression lost, given their head was against Lambda's chest. "It's a shame the two lead characters in this love story are so stupid, though. Then again…Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind~ Fufu~"

"Stop quoting Shakespeare at me, it's so pretentious. And I resent that! I'm not stupid! I'm the amazingly cute and pretty witch, Lambdadelta, okay?"

Furfur squeaked as Lambdadelta prodded their side.

"Ah, okay, okay! You're amazingly cute and pretty. Happy now?"

"Sure, sure. Come on, Furfuuuuur~" Lambda cooed, voice silky sweet, as she continued to jab the demon in the side. "What advice were you gonna give me? Not that I'm going to take it, of course!"

"K-kyahh! Stop that! S-stop poking me!"

"Huhhh?~ This bothers you that much?~ Well, then… Better start talking, instead of dancing around the subject."

"S-sure, sure!"

Furfur pushed away from Lambda, moving to adjust their rumpled clothes and hair. Trying to affect an air of professionalism (though it was tainted slightly by the rather more sincere smile than usual), Furfur began to speak.

"This is just a theory, but I do so enjoy pondering the mindsets of complicated people… And Lady Bernkastel is the most complicated of all, ufufu~

"Lady Bernkastel might be the so-called 'cruellest witch' of all witches, but people only become cruel if they themselves have been treated abominably in the past. Is that not the truth?" said Furfur, looking at Lambdadelta levelly.

Lambddadelta couldn't argue with that logic. It was true. She was more aware of that than anyone.

"Well, maybe, given Lady Bernkastel's fearful past, she doesn't want a violent relationship. She might act harsh and cruel, but that could so easilybe a front to disguise her true feelings. She pushes people away to protect herself. I have heard rumors of her past with Lady Featherine, and how she was treated, and what happened to her… That must have hurt; especially as the young, innocent miko trusted her mentor witch so. That trust was betrayed. So it must be difficult for Lady Bernkastel to believe the words of liars.

"Is it not impossible to imagine, then, that a girl like that would, despite her reputation of being twisted, actually desire a loving relationship built on trust? No; I think that conclusion isn't so farfetched… After all… If you love someone, you can't let lies come between you. No matter what happens - even if you've already lost each other forever - you owe each other the truth."

Lambdadelta raised a brow at this, folding her arms.

"But you're forgetting that I know my dear Bernkastel better than you ever could. I'm the one who spends the most time with her. Bern's a really fickle creature, you know, like a cat. They're always running off and leaving the people that feed them. If I was nice to Bern all the time she'd get bored…"

Lambdadelta's eyes darkened. Her fingers clenched into fists.

"I… don't want Bern to get bored of me. I-if that happened I… I-"

"Boredom between two people doesn't come from being together physically~" Furfur interjected, smiling sweetly."Boredom stems from being alone. Don't you know that?"

Lambdadelta's face flushed light pink. She batted Furfur's finger away.

"S-stop talking to me in riddles like that! I-I can't believe Bern would really want my love… N-not when she's so cruel to me. If I don't return her cruelty, then she'll ignore me!"

"You can believe that if you want- but there's a very simple way to test how Lady Bernkastel really feels about you."

Against her better judgement, Lambdadelta felt herself getting intrigued. There was a way to prove how Bern felt? But Bern was such a strange, complicated girl, who wore mask after mask to hide her true feelings. Peeling one false skin away only found another, and another, until Lambda thought she might just give up, if she hadn't known she had a whole eternity to try and find the real Bernkastel behind her numerous façades.

Love does funny things to people.

Yes… …

Lambdadelta was sure that was what she felt. If she hadn't loved Bern, why else would she have been so upset when the other constantly refused her feelings?

The dim memory of pain still seeped through her tongue.

Lambdadelta didn't want Bern to push her away like that anymore.

"It's quite simple," said Furfur, noting Lambdadelta's interest. "If you feel Lady Bernkastel really despises you, then you should test her real feelings… by ignoring her. See how she reacts. If she's upset by your absence, then you'll have proof she cares about you, too."

Lambdadelta's eyes widened slightly.

"B-but… but I couldn't ignore my precious Bern… I-I want to be with her aaaaall the time, even if she hates me! That's how I feel! I'm just happy being with her!"

"Well, if that's how it is… I can't help you."

Furfur yawned; holding out thin arms adorned with numerous bracelets for Lambdadelta to take.

"I'm sleepy," the demon of love said softly, in those babyish tones so unlike their usual, melodramatic way of speaking. "I want a hug."

Lambdadelta sighed.

If it wasn't Bernkastel, she wasn't interested. Furfur was warm and soft to hold onto, and having somebody to curl up to was a comfort; it made her feel wanted, needed, and not so horribly, desperately alone…

It reminded her she had, in fact, escaped from that dark, closed space which still lurked at the corners of her mind when she closed her eyes.

But it wasn't right.

Bernkastel might have been all skin and bone, sharp and pointy and painful to hold, with seemingly too many elbows, and she writhed fitfully in her sleep, but…

But that was how it was meant to be.

Bernkastel was meant to be by Lambdadelta's side.

With anybody else, it just felt wrong.

Lambdadelta couldn't sleep at all that night.

Ignore Bern…?

The mere thought made her feel sick- like deliberately going on a diet and cutting all sugar from her life. Why should she give up the things the few things in life that actually made her happy?

She'd rather die.

Maybe… she would.

a/n: I apologize for the large amount of Furfur here, in a Bern/Lambda fic... but part of the prompt was Lambda ignores Bern, and given Lambda's kind of obsessive personality, I'm not sure she'd ignore Bern willingly, no mater what Bern does or says to her XD