So, it's been awhile... I'm sorry about that! School started back up and I have lame excuses... So...

HERE YOU GO! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Christmas holidays were coming up. Normally, Kurt would have been excited about this, he loved Christmas, it was a time of miracles and hope.

Unfortunately, Kurt did not believe in any of those things anymore.

He knew this was going to be an issue among the house. Kurt would have to spend all day with his family, and that meant more pretending.

How long could Kurt keep up his charade up? How long would it be until he slips one day?

But, Kurt couldn't think like that, he couldn't allow himself to think like that. He just had to keep it up, it shouldn't be that hard. And then when the two weeks are up, he can go back to the way it was.

"Hey, you okay there, kid?"

Kurt jerked his head up and saw his father standing at his doorway, one hand on the doorknob.

"I knocked, but I heard no reply. You seem a little lost, is everything okay?"

Kurt nodded his head, "Yeah, I'm fine dad. I just zoned out, I was thinking about what I wanted to wear for Christmas."

And the lies never stopped coming.

Burt nodded, "Alright, whatever you say, kiddo. But, remember, if you ever need anything, you can come talk to me or Carole about it, okay?"

Kurt swallowed thickly, "Yeah, got it dad. Thank you."

His dad closed the door and Kurt let out a breath of relief. So, this was proof that he was slipping, that he needed to improve his act. He had twelve more days with his family, alone at the house. And he probably could get away with staying in his room most of the time, or tell his dad he was going out with Mercedes.

Kurt shook his head, he shouldn't care anyway. He was done with caring. He was just going to let it be.

First week of the break, he got it down. He put on all the right faces, and he said all the right lines. He was able to get out of the house whenever possible.

Every time he dragged the blade across his skin, though, he felt something in his chest. A feeling he was not too fond of, even more than that, he thought of Blaine. Someone who he should have forgotten by now, he hasn't been to see him in over a month. Hell, Blaine probably forgot him already, even though he said he wouldn't. Kurt was easy to forget, so many other people have.

Kurt, however, ignored the sting and pushed on. The marks, still very clear against his pale skin. He knew that no one would see them, it was a very cold winter, after all, and he had no intention of wearing a short sleeve t-shirt.

Christmas Eve around five o'clock, "Hey, dude, come on, we are going to the Christmas carnival!"

Kurt's pulse quickened as he shoved the scissors back in the drawer and pushed his sleeve down, "The Christmas what?"

Nice save.

"Carnival! Burt and mom are taking us and the glee gang is meeting us there! Let's go!" Finn grabbed his arm and dragged him out his room.

No. No. No. Kurt did not want to go to a carnival. There were going to be a lot of people there, he knew it. More faces he will have to lie to, he was just almost caught in the act, how was he supposed to keep this up?

Kurt knew that Finn wouldn't let him stay home tonight, he knew his step-brother well enough when he just wasn't going to take no for an answer.

So, he let Finn drag him out the door, into the car and off to the carnival they went. Finn was talking rapidly in the car how excited he was, which Kurt thought was pretty cute, he was seventeen after all, and what seventeen year old boy gets excited for a Christmas carnival?

"Ferris wheel! There has to be a Ferris wheel! You can't have a carnival without one of those!"

Kurt sighed and stared out the window of the car, and he started noticing something familiar. There was something he recognized about this road, he drove it a few times…

"Dad, where is the carnival at?"

"Westerville, they have it every year. I heard it was quite the party up there. The whole town goes and that Dalton Academy even performs Christmas songs."

Kurt's breath caught. Dalton. The school that Blaine went to. The show choir that Blaine was in. He was going to see Blaine.

But, that doesn't mean Blaine would see him, right? His dad did say the whole town goes, and he will only see Blaine on stage, but it doesn't mean he will see Kurt. Yeah, it was going to be okay. Blaine would probably not even expect Kurt to be here tonight.

Kurt felt his heart rate go down, besides, why should he care? Kurt doesn't care anymore, about himself, about anyone.

Lies

Kurt and Finn caught up with the rest of the glee club at the front entrance to the carnival. He managed to put on a fake smile for everyone and greet them

"How's my boy doin'? Still got the best in season jacket I see!" Mercedes smiled at him.

Kurt smiled back, "Of course, fashion is important, no matter the season."

Kurt was glad that Mercedes fashion sense was slightly lower than his. This jacket was from last season, he was just not able to wear it last year.

Kurt felt someone grab at his arm, "Oh, Kurt, isn't just Christmas time just magical! Don't you just want to sing out loud for the entire world to hear?"

"Sure, Rachel." Kurt patted her arm.

Rachel was always a little too enthusiastic when it came to the holidays. Kurt never got it though; she was in fact, Jewish. But, she just always told him that she just loved the atmosphere of Christmas, it was full of live and love.

Rachel skipped off to stand next to Finn and rant more to him on how much she loves the holidays. Kurt just sighed and shook his head and hoped that this would be over soon. Sure, he could put up a good convincing act for awhile, but he would soon not be able to for he would just not care to do it anymore.

Kurt gave another sigh and walked just a step behind everyone else, not willing to take part in their conversation. He also felt bad, really, his life wasn't so bad. It could be worse, right? At least he had nice friends. Cluessless, yes. Mean, absolutely not. Even Puck had started to be nice to Kurt after he found out he was being used as a human punching bag.

"Ferris Wheel! Come on guys, we have to go on it!" Kurt heard Finn shout.

Uproar of agreements came from the group and they all made a path towards the Ferris wheel. Kurt was a little scared, scared that whoever he had to sit with would ask questions. Questions that Kurt would not answer and questions that he didn't have the answer to. He swallowed thickly, and followed the group, praying that he would get to sit with Tina; they weren't really all that close so she probably wouldn't ask any questions.

"Alright! I will go with Finn, of course. Sam and Mercedes will go together. Brittany and Santana. Tina and Mike, of course. And then Quinn and Puck. That just leaves…" Rachel turned around and faced Kurt, "Oh, Kurt! You need to speak up! We could have found someone to go with you!"

Kurt shrugged, "I really don't mind riding alone, Rachel."

"Well… If you're sure" Rachel said with a concerned look on her face.

"Of co-"

"I'll ride with him!" Kurt felt a hand clamp on his shoulder.

Kurt knows that voice far, far too well. He should have known, should have known that there was going to be a way for him to find Kurt. It was like he should kept on appearing out of nowhere at all of the wrong times. Kurt had tried to get him out of his head for weeks, and just when he thought he was… He appears.

"And you are?" Rachel asked.

"Blaine, Blaine Anderson." He stuck out his hand and Rachel took it.

Rachel scanned his whole person, "Excuse me Kurt, but this young man is a Dalton Academy Warbler. Have you been telling him our set list? He has to be a spy!"

Kurt sighed, "Calm down, Rachel. I know Blaine, we met at a coffee shop, and he's a friend of mine. No, I have not been telling him anything about Glee Club. We never talk about it anyways."

Rachel pursed her lips, "Alright, well, I guess it's okay. We needed an extra person anyway. But, I got my eyes on you, Blaine Warbler."

With that, Rachel skipped to stand over by Finn with the rest of the group.

"Well, I've never gotten that nickname before…" Blaine murmured.

"What are you doing?" Kurt hissed, low enough only Blaine could here.

"Hey, you showed up in Westerville, not my fault. And I spotted you over with your friends and noticed you were short a person, well, I could be that short person!" Blaine beamed up at Kurt.

Kurt laughed.

Wait, Kurt laughed. He hadn't laughed in… Well he's not entirely sure that last time he laughed. It gave him a weird feeling, it was so foreign to him now.

Kurt cleared his throat, "Well, uh, thank you I suppose. But, I would have been fine on my own."

"Oh yeah? How's that been working out for you?" Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"No," Kurt put a hand up, "We are not doing this here. Not now, Blaine. Please."

Blaine sighed, "Alright, fair enough. Oh, look at that, we're up!"

Blaine grabbed his hand and a jolt of electricity went up Kurt's spine, no one had tried contact him like this for a long time, or really, ever.

Blaine sat down first and pulled Kurt down along with him making Kurt make an oof sound.

"Jeez, excited are we?" Kurt mumbled.

Blaine just laughed as the bar landed in both of their laps.

They sat there in silence for a moment. Kurt was foolish to think that he was going to go the evening without running into Blaine somehow. Kurt had a tendency to run into people who he had no interest in seeing. It's not like he hated Blaine for who he was, he hates Blaine for what he was doing to him. Kurt couldn't understand why Blaine just wouldn't leave it alone; pass Kurt along as a lost cause and move on to help the next victim. Kurt was doing just fine, thank you very much, until Blaine came along and started to make him feel again. He didn't want that, didn't want to let his emotions take over like they did all the time. He just wanted to be there, and to be left alone so he could make it out of Lima in one piece.

"So, Kurt, I know you don't want to talk about… That tonight, but I was hoping we could talk about something else." Blaine said, finally breaking the silence.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "Such as?"

Blaine shrugged his shoulders, "Just tell me about you, the things you like, dislike, whatever it may be."

Kurt sighed, he really didn't want to talk about himself. Why would he? That would just bring up everything he has been trying to avoid these pass months.

"Or, I could just tell you about myself and you can go afterwards?" Blaine asked and Kurt just nodded.

Blaine clapped his hands together, "Okay, so… I don't really know where to start, I'll just give you some random facts about me: I play nine instruments, I'm way too addicted to coffee, I love anything that has to do with Disney or Harry Potter, I can speak fluent Italian, I've been performing since I was about ten years old, I have a dog named Lucky back home and I want to be one of those coffee shop music performers in New York."

"What, are you some sort of super-human moron?" Kurt deadpanned.

Blaine threw his head back in laughter, "No, I'm just a dork with too much time on my hands."

Kurt felt his lip twitch up into a smile. No matter how much Kurt hated him for what he did, he knows that if he was still his old self, he would like Blaine very much.

"Are you going to tell me about you?" Blaine pressed.

Kurt pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, "Um, alright. I play the piano, I'm classically trained. I also have an addiction to coffee and Broadways musicals. I can speak fluent French, and my goal was to move to New York, go to college and be on Broadway."

"And you said I was the super-human moron." Blaine punched Kurt's shoulder playfully.

Kurt shook his head, "I'm not special in anyway, Blaine. I'm just some teenager whose dream is way too big to come true, like every other kid in the world."

"Now see, that's where you are wrong, Kurt. Everyone who is living on this Earth is their own person. No one is exactly like you, like me, like anybody. We have all of these unique traits that make us who we are. It's that reason why that's makes everyone, so beautiful. How boring would it be if everyone was exactly like each other? Pretty boring, in my opinion. What's different about you, Kurt, is what makes you special. Sure, we might sometimes want the same things, but it doesn't mean that doesn't make you special. You are special, Kurt, just by being who you are." Blaine looked at Kurt with those sincere, wide puppy-dog eyes.

Kurt stared back at Blaine, "There was a time when I believed that, too, Blaine."

"What happened?" Blaine asked, barely over a whisper.

Kurt closed his eyes, "You know exactly what happened."

"Kurt… All I know is that you hurt yourself. You have yet to give me the reason."

Kurt's eyes flew open. That's right, Blaine didn't know. Blaine didn't know the reason for Kurt's scars. Blaine cared when he didn't even know his situation, his story. And yet, Blaine wanted him to stop.

"It's because I've been bullied. I got shoved into lockers, thrown into dumpsters, and get slushie facials at least three times a week. It's because no one noticed. It's because I have these bruises all over my body. It's because no one has even tried to see through all my acts that I know they don't care enough about me." Kurt couldn't stop himself from saying those words.

Kurt's arms started to itch, and he was rubbing his hand along his wrist. It was a habit he got when he got the urge to harm himself, and he was usually able to reduce it, but he couldn't now. All he could do was sit there, on that Ferris wheel with Blaine and try to get the feeling to go away, at least for tonight.

Blaine looked down and saw Kurt's hands, and how they kept on rubbing to his wrist. He remembered the feeling, he remembered like it was just yesterday. Needing to have it stop, or else he would just go crazy. He reached out and grabbed Kurt's hand to get it to stop rubbing at his wrist.

"It feels like it itches, doesn't it?" Blaine asked.

Kurt swallowed, his hand in Blaine's, "Yes."

"Blaine… Blaine can I see your arm?" Kurt asked in barley over a whisper.

Blaine was taken back for a moment, but he lifted his hand out of Kurt's and unbuttoned his blazer at the sleeves, along with the white button up underneath. He pushed the material out of the way and held out his arm for Kurt to see.

Kurt remembered the first time he saw these marks on Blaine. He had gone to Dalton, without intentionally doing so, and in the midst of their argument, Blaine had shown him his scars. Kurt would never show anyone his scars, no matter what. The only time Blaine had seen his were when they met that one day in the Lima Bean, a day that seemed to feel like years ago.

Kurt ghosted his hands above Blaine's arm, "It's fine, Kurt, go ahead."

With the light trace of his fingers, he touched Blaine's scar along his wrist. He could feel how the scars were raised above his skin; he could feel how cold they were. Was this how his arms were going to look? Was he going to have scars from his past that live with him every day?

Blaine watched Kurt's face intently, not quite making out his expression. It seemed to be a mixture of aw and nervousness. He could feel how warm Kurt's touch was to his skin; he could feel the spark shoot through his arm, all the way down his spine. Blaine didn't know why, but when Kurt touched him, he felt like he was on fire.

"We're about to get off, Kurt." Blaine said.

Kurt snapped out of the trance he was in, "Oh, right. Of course."

Kurt took his hand away from Blaine's arm, almost reluctantly.

Blaine buttoned back up his undershirt and blazer, already missing Kurt's touch on his skin.

"I have to go perform after this, Kurt. After that, I am going out with the Warblers. I want to see you again, Kurt, not just to talk about you, but to talk about me. I think it's time you know my story. You would be surprised as to how much it relates to yours."

They got off of the ride before the rest of the Glee Club did and stood over by the exit. Kurt knew that he needed to give Blaine an answer. Did he want to see Blaine again?

Yes, his heart was screaming.

No, his mind was yelling.

Blaine makes him feel and to be around him again would make it worse. He should just tell Blaine to shove off and never come back to Westerville again. He should tell him of course, he would love to see him again. He should tell him to forget about it, his sob story won't make a difference. But, curiosity always got the best of Kurt.

"Kurt…?" Blaine finally spoke up after Kurt hadn't said anything.

Kurt took a deep breath, "Even if I said I never, ever wanted to see you again, Blaine. Even if I tell you to fuck off, and leave you, even if I hate you so much for what you make me feel, I know that I will see you again. I don't know when, whether it's a day or a month from now, all I know is that we always kind of find a way back to each other."

And that was that. Kurt knew that he would really see Blaine again, he couldn't deny it anymore. There was something about Blaine that Kurt was intrigued by. Blaine seemed like a guy who was so well put together, like nothing bad had ever happened to him. But, he had the scars and Kurt wanted to know how can guy like Blaine, could have scars like Kurt.

"I'll see you then, Kurt."

With that, Blaine faded into the crowd and disappeared into the sea of faces.

I'm not too sure how happy I am with this chapter... I'm just eager to tell Blaine's story.

If you hadn't noticed, I am very, very into dialogue. And you will probably see that a lot the next chapter or the following.

Also, I want to clear something up, I know I am not too descriptive when it comes to places in the story. That was intentional. Kurt is in a state of mind where he really does not notice anything around him, physically. It's like he's there, but not really.

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Love,

Ally