Chapter 22

Teyla found him sitting alone at a table. Everyone stayed well away from him, his body language enough to steer people to other tables, far away from Sheppard.

'May I?' She inquired quietly.

John looked up and just nodded, turning back to the window, looking out over the water.

Teyla ate her breakfast quietly, realising Sheppard was struggling with something.

'Rodney seems to be doing better.' She stated between bites. Again Sheppard just nodded. He was cradling a cup of coffee that had gone cold by now. Teyla wondered how long he had been sitting there like that. She decided it had been long enough.

'John, is something the matter?'

Slowly he turned to face her. He put his cup down.

'Teyla, you are always honest with me.'

Teyla looked surprised.

'Yes, I do believe so.'

'I let the team down. I think it's time for me to step down as leader of this team and just stay here.'

Teyla remained quiet for a moment.

'What makes you think this? You are a very good leader. Why would you not want to lead any longer?'

'I let people down. I didn't keep my promise to Ronon and it nearly got Rodney killed. Perhaps I'm getting too old for this.'

He turned back to the window.

Teyla reached over and took his hand. Slowly John looked at her.

'The burden a leader carries is never too heavy. If your shoulders could not carry the weight, you would never have become a leader in the first place. Your decisions, your leadership has saved the team, the city and the people of many planets. You have carried us through all the pain, hardship, trouble, fights. And for those moments where you doubt your own actions, we are here to carry you, to support you. You are never alone.'

Her faith in him touched him deeply.

'So, no resignation.' John smiled shyly.

'No, Colonel. Atlantis is not ready for you to leave.'

They sat quietly for a moment longer, not wanting to break the special moment. Teyla could see the healing in his eyes, the focus returning.

'Thanks. Felt a bit sorry for myself there.'

'It's an ok place to visit but not for long.' Teyla smiled.

'Gonna get myself a fresh cup of coffee. Can I get you anything?' He got up from his chair.

'No thank you. I am fine.'

He soon returned to the table with not only coffee but a full breakfast, which he ate while going over some of the more recent gossip with Teyla.

oooOOOooo

Rodney was worried. He had been watching Ronon, quietly talking to him in the hope he would wake up soon. But his body seemed to be growing weaker all the time. Yet at the same time his eyes were constantly moving under his eyelids, as if he were awake, just not opening his eyes. What if Ronon didn't make it? He had assured Rodney he could help him. But if he didn't survive, there was no one who could save him from this agony. And he knew it sounded selfish, even to his own ears. But it wasn't. Rodney really and truly wanted Ronon to get better, for all of them. They had lost one team member already when Ford had changed. He did not want Ronon to die. He was the perfect match for their foursome.

Even as he sat next to the big man, he had to urge to cut himself, simply because of the deep friendship he felt for the Satedan.

'Please, Ronon. Wake up.' He pleaded once more.

oooOOOooo

'Ronon.' The voice simply stated his name. It sounded familiar but he could not immediately place it. Where did he know that voice from?

'Ronon, open your eyes.' The voice instructed him.

Easy for you to say, mate, you are not the one in bed with serious injuries and on top of that fighting of an infection and pneumonia.

'Ronon, trust me.' It was strange but Ronon did feel he could trust the voice. So finally he opened his eyes.

'OK, not what I expected.' He slowly turned around to observe his surroundings. But there was nothing, except the light he was standing in. He decided to wait for the voice to make a move.

He didn't have to wait long. A tall man joined him in the light.

'Hello, Ronon.'

Ronon cocked his head. He knew he should know the man in front of him and yet still it eluded him. Who was he?

'Don't you remember your father?' the man in front asked.

Ronon looked doubtful. His father had been killed when he was still a boy. But surely he would remember him better. And this man did not resemble his father.

'Perhaps you remember me better in this form.' The face on the man in front of him changed to the familiar features. He recognised his own reflection.

'Dad?'

'Yes, my son. I'm sure you have a lot of questions.'

'Am I dead?'

The man smiled.

'That would be one of them.'

Suddenly the surroundings changed. They were standing in the infirmary, next to the bed his body was still lying on, Rodney keeping vigil.

'You are not yet dead. But your body is very weak.'

'Are you an ancient?' Ronon asked.

'That would be the other question.'

The room faded again and they returned to the light.

'When I saw your mother, I fell in love. I had ascended but found a way to come to her.'

'Like Sheppard's girl.'

'Yes, kind of. I wanted to stay with you and your mother but the others found me and recalled me.'

'Wait, if I'm a descendant of an ancient, why don't I have this ATA gene? '

'Because I had already ascended. I didn't have a real body. To be honest, I didn't think I could father a child. Until there was you.'

'So, what do you want from me now?' Ronon was getting impatient. He did not understand why this man had come to see him now. He had to concentrate on getting better and then helping Rodney. He had promised.

'I have come to help you ascend.' His father simply stated.

'I'm not ready to die. What if I don't want to ascend? It's not like you ancients, Lanteans were all that great and good and clever. The times Rodney has had to save us from one of your cockups I can't count any more, starting with the Wraith. I don't particularly want to be part of your little club.'

Ronon was annoyed.

'You have no choice.' His father's voice boomed all around him. Ronon took a step back but his father grabbed him.

'No!' Ronon screamed, pushing his father away, trying to escape the strong hold he had on his arms. He could feel his life slipping through his fingers. But he also felt the power behind it all. With one thought he was back in the infirmary. But what could he do there? Alarms were going off, his body convulsing, Jennifer and her team trying everything to stabilize him again. Rodney was holding his hand.

McKay, McKay had to help him!

Pulling hard, he was able to free one hand from his father's grasp. Making a half turn, he reached out for Rodney and grabbed his hand.

In the infirmary, Rodney suddenly felt Ronon's hand squeeze him hard.

'Ronon?' McKay hoped he would wake up.

'Rodney, get out of the way, now.' Jennifer tried to push him away.

'I can't, he's . . . . '

Suddenly Rodney slumped over Ronon's body.

'Rodney?' But Keller got no response.

For a moment they all just stared at Ronon, now quietly asleep again, and Rodney half draped over his friend's body.

Sheppard and Teyla walked in on this unusual sight.

'Crap.' Immediately he knew something was wrong.

TBC