Izaya's pregnancy will progress fast, why? Because the story isn't over when the baby comes, that's why! Also, he is NOT Genderbent for clarification, he is STILL MALE! He's just crossdressing. He looks like Fem!Izaya because...well, you would like the genderbent version of yourself too if you tried hard enough ne? But yeah, he's not genderbent, just crossdressing
I blink the tears from my eyes finally, my vision returning, but I stay lying right where I am. Three months pregnant now, and the pain is coming more frequently as time goes on, but's always at least a week between attacks. They're starting to last longer too, and the intensity increases with each one. There is a rapid knocking at my door that I just realize.
"Izaya-san, please! I know you're in there!" Shinra.
"It's open," I manage to call and I hear him come in, then I hear him gasp and he hurries over to me.
"What happened? Are you alright?" He asks and I wave him off nonchalantly.
"Just an attack," I mumble and he frowns, nodding.
"Oh…they're worse than I expected them to be" He says and I manage to get off the floor with his help.
"You're nearly all packed…I thought you were staying until the delivery?" He asks and I frown.
"I am, but I need to be gone fast when the baby comes." I remind him and he nods.
"Right. Do you know where you're going yet?" He asks me and I smile weakly, sitting down in the chair he helps me to.
"I'm thinking Canada, Great Britain, or Australia, but I'm not too sure yet." I say and he pulls out a small device.
"Can I check on it? We haven't really listened for anything nor done an ultrasound yet, and the baby's existed nearly ten weeks now, I want to make sure everything is okay," He says and I sigh a little.
"Yeah, sure," I don't really give a shit about the baby to be honest. It sounds cruel, I know, but the only reason it exists is because I need Shizuo like I need to breathe, and I don't want to make Shizuo's days bad anymore. I know how I make him feel, he's been all too forward on that front, but I love him. Shinra pulls out some jelly too and gently rubs it on the miniscule swell, then puts the metal want on it.
"What's….that?" I ask when I hear the odd noise. It sounds almost like water rushing.
"That's the baby's heart beat," He says and suddenly my heart feels funny. Wow…scratch what I just said!
"Oh…" My voice is too high. Shinra chuckles at me though and I glare at him, "What?" I ask.
"You just fell in love with your baby didn't you?" He asks and I scowl a little.
"So what…?" I mumble, I can feel my cheeks turning red.
"Nothing…I'm just glad you have maternal instincts, or I don't know if I would be able to live with myself," He admitted and I can't help but look at my abdomen as he removes the Doppler. My heart grew so quickly…there was my love for humans, my love for my monster…and just now it grew again. But it was already full, full of love for my baby…Shizu-chan's baby too. I can't help but smile now and rub the spot once Shinra cleans the jelly off.
"You've stopped cutting your hair," He says then and I nod.
"Yeah, I'm going to let it grow out until the baby comes. Then I'll cut it back again. This way I won't need that damn wig, it makes my head itch!" I whine and he laughs.
"Makes sense. I think Celty knows that I know where you are you know," He adds hen and I shrug a little.
"So let her. Just don't tell her I'm still here or she'll rush over! And then she'll have to tell Shizu-chan that his girlfriend isn't actually a girl,"
"You could always tell her you've actually been a girl your whole life," He suggests.
"She'll check you know! And I really don't have the parts!" I point out and he frowns.
"Oh yeah…she's like that isn't she?"
"Shinra…how do I break up with him when I leave though? I mean…I love him and he's finally…paying attention to me in a good way," I mumble, looking at my feet. I can feel my eyes getting wet again. I hate pregnancy hormones, they have me crying too damn easily!
"That was your idea Izaya-san. I told you not to, remember?" He frowns, watching me, but he sits too. He's the only one who knows Kanra doesn't exist. The only one who knows I love Shizuo, and the only one who knows what I did, just to feel loved by him, just to be able to give up on him.
"I kn-know b-but I…I…Sh-Shinraaa!" I start crying properly now. Fuck I hate being pregnant! He gapes for a moment, then he hugs me and tries to calm me down. My phone goes off. Shizuo's ringtone.
"H-hello?" I sniff, in Kanra's voice.
"Kanra-chan? Are you okay?"
"Huh? Y-yeah, just hormones, what's up?"
"Oh…I was just wondering if you're still up for…tonight?" I could kick myself for forgetting.
"Yeah! I am! Hey can…I come over early?"
"Huh? Yeah sure, I'm done now anyways." I smile now.
"Great, um…be there soon then!" I hang up and Shinra frowns at me.
"This really isn't healthy Izaya-san. For you OR Shizuo-san, this will hurt him too when you leave you know,"
"Heh, yeah. But then maybe he'll know how I feel," I mumble. I'm such a petty, selfish fool. I hate myself.
"You cut your hair," He looks surprised.
"Yeah…I hope you don't mind?" I haven't actually, if anything it's longer, but now it's only shoulder length. He shakes his head.
"Looks nice," He shrugs and I smile, letting myself in. He grabs a cigarette though and I tsk.
"Shizuo-san, I'm pregnant, you can't smoke around me, remember?" He blinks, then he looks guilty.
"Oh…right," He puts it away and I give him a winning smile. I'm wearing pants today, but they're girly looking enough. I hate having to cross dress. I'm also wearing a light sweater since it's March now, and the weather is warming up now.
"You're not showing yet though…how far are you anyways?"
"Three months, and I am so showing, see?" I lift my shirt enough to show him the baby bump without letting him see I have the abdominal muscle structure of a man.
"…Oh. Hey you're pretty fit aren't you?" I let my shirt drop, blushing a little.
"Y-yes," I say, a little embarrassed but he grins and comes over, kissing me lightly. I sigh happily, smiling and we head out on our date. But damn if we can be left alone!
"Is that Izaya?" I hear a squeal and I barely manage not to tense. Shizuo would notice since we're holding hands. He does tense and I hear him growl, his head immediately snapping in the direction of the voice. I turn to look too, but rather timidly. Erika comes bounding over then.
"I think you have me confused with someone else?" I try to giggle it off and she frowns then, looking at me, then Shizuo, then me again.
"Huh?"
"C'mon Kanra-chan," Shizuo relaxes when he hears that but Erika frowns deeper and opens her mouth.
"One minute, 'kay~?" I chirp, releasing his hand and dragging the Fujoshi away.
"You ARE Izaya," She says. It's not a question.
"And if you tell ANYONE Erika Karisawa, I swear to GOD I will make your life so miserable you will be happy to die!" I threaten and her eyes widen. She swallows hard, nodding in understanding.
"G-gotcha um…Kanra-san. B-but why are you…?" I frown a little.
"I have my own reasons. You're not getting any more than that either, now if Shizu-chan finds out who I really am because of you I will NOT be impressed," I remind her and she nods again.
"You make a really pretty girl…." She adds and I growl a little then compose myself before going back out to a very confused Shizuo.
"What…?"
"Hmm? Oh nothing~! Don't worry about it~!" I say happily taking his hand once more. Erika nods, and I think she's in shock. She didn't know me that well though and I know I probably scared her just now. She teeters off back to her friends who ask her what the hell that was all about.
"Oh…my bad, just a look-alike," She lies with a laugh and they shake their heads. Shizuo seems to accept her reasoning too. I sigh softly, and squeeze his hand a little.
This really was a bad idea…
Seliphra: I wrote this at three am...be happy it's up at all. These last couple weeks just caught up with me and now people are insulting me again and treating me like dirt and I have no way to get away from it. Therefore, I'm sorry if the story suffers, I really hope it doesn't, I will do my best, and the reviews help more then you could possibly know.