Fearless
One step forward…two steps backwards. This waltz will kill me.
A/N: Quick update! Hakone will also come out a week from now since I'm just tweaking things a little bit! Thanks for all the love!
On Monday I decided to go to his shop, simply dying to meet him. That trip has done something to me. It's like I don't want to be a second apart from Itachi. He's there occupying my every thought. Unable to help myself, I was pedaling off in the direction to his shop the moment I was done with my classes. Excitement makes me drop my keys twice as I attempt to lock my bike. Once done, I pocket the keys and almost run to the entrance. My heart beats a mad tattoo in my chest as it heightens the urge to maddening degrees. My lips already begin to curl in a smile as the doors open, my eyes naturally running towards the counter to search for the man my very bones ache to see. My smile freezes when I look at the counter. Because sitting in his usual seat, just like I envisioned, there's the man alright. And it's all good till I see him fucking giggle like he's having a ball.
And I see red.
There are two girls around my age, leaning against the counter, engrossed in a conversation with my man. The dark hair I now know like the back of my hand is tied back in that sexy loose ponytail, the usual two locks framing his very amused face as he covers his mouth with his hand. My hackles are rising before I know it, my strides long and purposeful as I march up to the counter. I stop myself right before I can lunge at him and kiss that damned giggle off his face. I glare at him but don't say anything. I don't know what's going to come out once I open my mouth, so I keep it shut, grinding my teeth, annoyance oozing from every pore. This man's giggles are mine! The nerve of these people!
His laugh freezes when he notices me, the heat rising on his cheeks still covered by his hand. He quickly uncovers his mouth and smiles at me with something so beautiful, it makes my heart skip a beat. "Naruto-kun!" he says in a voice that carries an evident trace of the pleasantness at the unexpected surprise of seeing me there. The anger eases immediately. Pleasure blossoms in my chest. It feels like being rewarded with something so profound, it's heartbreaking.
"Hi Itachi," I say, so fucking delighted that I just want nothing more than to pull him to me and kiss him. But this time it's not only because of those girls. Because I know that if I kiss him right now, his feelings will be a reflection of mine. My hand rises but I catch the action midway and switch it to rub the back of my neck like I do when I'm nervous.
Maybe I am nervous. Nervous about having to suddenly resume a role I can no longer envision between us. Nervous because now I really have to work on controlling myself in front of others. Regret burns in my chest. We were just the two of us for two whole days. After one point, touching him came naturally to me. Things like controlling myself from doing something like holding his hand or tucking his hair behind his ear in public wasn't even on the forefront of my mind. In Atami, we were uninhibited, careless, free. We were invincible. Like we were the only two people in the world. But now, we're back, to a place where too much shackles us and makes us defenseless.
I turn to one of the girls who strikes up a conversation. "Hi," she says meekly thrusting a hand at me. Both of these girls are Japanese with beautiful long hair. One of them has dyed her hair some shade of orange while her friend has colored her hair burgundy almost red and wears glasses. Auburn comes to mind immediately and it makes me wonder if this flocking of females is a common occurrence here. I glance at the two girls who've now resumed conversation with Itachi to find them completely at ease in Itachi's presence. A lot of the customers I've seen here either look nervous or completely impersonal while talking to him. But seeing these two interact with Itachi so easily only makes the situation worse.
"Hi," I say back, not wanting to be rude but not even trying to be polite. Usually, I introduce myself and behave like a proper human. But right now, I'm a big ball of everything caveman. I don't almost lift my hand to shake hers when Itachi raises his brows pointedly at the hand in the air. I don't want to shake anyone's hand but his. Hell, I want to take it in mine this very moment. The feeling only manifests itself faster when my hand touches hers. It's a loose, limpid handshake. I let go immediately when I realize that, making me remove my hand in a jiffy. I want these people out of here as soon as possible. I don't think at this time it would be below me to set up camp here and glare at every customer like an outraged hawk.
Burgundy doesn't take her chances. She just adjusts the strap of her bag on her shoulder and mumbles a quiet hello. I muster a nod of acknowledgement that makes her roll her eyes. I'd have smirked had I not been angry.
Clever girl.
Itachi clears his throat and becomes the mediator, pricking my ire. He signals to the girl with the orange hair. "Naruto-kun," he says, all fondness as he smiles at the girl. "This is Moegi. She was a year junior to Sasuke. And that's Karin. She was Sasuke's classmate in high school. Moegi and Karin, meet my friend Naruto."
Moegi smiles at me once politely. Either Itachi is completely oblivious to the obvious elephant that stands in the room between these two and me or he's choosing the worst time to pretend to be oblivious about it. Nevertheless, despite how angry I am when I look at my lover, my treacherous lips break out into a smile when he calls me his friend. This is the first time he's ever acknowledged me as 'his friend' in front of anyone except Kiyoshi. He always sticks to 'Sasuke's friend'. Though it is a far cry from lover or boyfriend that I crave to hear, I rejoice at the step we've taken forward.
"Itachi-sensei used to tutor us in Math." She turns to Itachi, giving him a smile I don't like one bit even as dread after hearing her words starts coiling in my stomach. "I just came here to say thank you, Itachi-sensei. Thanks to you, I managed to get into the Kyoto University." She bows respectfully and immediately I feel like shit. My gaze drops to the ground as guilt fills me.
I look up to find Burgundy's - Karin's - eyes on me. She looks pitifully at me as she shakes her head making me feel pathetic. She's enjoying every second of this.
"Karin, let's go." Moegi says, almost nudging the redhead, Karin, on the back.
She bows at Itachi respectfully before giving me a dismissive nod as she turns to exit. My nostrils flair in sheer dislike as I watch her leave. My eyes only return to Itachi's once I've seen her out the door. Although admittedly, Moegi wasn't so bad. If only she didn't look at Itachi like he hung up the moon. Bitterness swirls inside, hardened by the guilt I feel. Itachi continues to look at me quietly for a long second, making me want to squirm. I feel like I'm under a microscope.
"I'm sorry," the words leave me in a whisper. My eyes are still trained to the white tips of my sneakers, mortification sucking in all the air.
"For what?" he asks his eyebrows raised, his gaze challenging when I look up at him in utter disbelief. His lips rise to a smirk. "For being jealous?" he teases, coming around the counter to stand beside me. His presence affects me in ways that leave me no choice but to grab his hand next to mine.
"I didn't like the way she was looking at you." I say, shrugging a shoulder defensively. I don't mind being transparent at all. I've already decided it's always going to be honesty with Itachi and with the way his smirk keeps toeing the line towards a full-fledged smile, I'm definitely not complaining.
Itachi grabs my face and kisses me chastely. He looks at me so helplessly that I just look at him and want him all over again. I grab his face, consequences be damned, and kiss him with all the want I feel. I swear its heaven when he melts like wax against me and kisses back. "I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to see you to the point of going insane." Itachi says against my lips. He kisses me again. "Oh Naruto-kun! It's so good to see you," he says.
"Likewise, Itachi-sama." You have no idea how much I wanted to see you. I smirk at him. "How about we take this to our favorite place?" My eyes close in happiness when he nods not even waiting to consider it.
I can't help it. I just pull his mouth closer and press another kiss to his lips.
For what it's worth…
Ever since we've returned from Atami, I've been noticing something about Itachi. Maybe that time when he called me to the storage in front of Sasuke has fueled his courage or Monday has left its impression on him, but since these past three days, my shy Itachi-sama who wouldn't even look at me longer than was required, is now becoming bolder. And damn if that isn't making my heart soar.
Yesterday, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside the storage area because there was a lady customer sitting on the sofa Sasuke and I frequent, reading a translated book. Needless to say, those few stolen minutes were the best.
And here I am again today on Wednesday after my Business Japanese class with Sasuke. After class ended, I suggest we have a class today. I've been doing unexpectedly poorly in my Grammar classes and it's starting to bug me. I want to know where I'm going wrong because when I'm speaking or writing, I know the grammar is perfect. But for some reason, those multiple-choice questions at the end of each lesson are becoming my arch nemesis. I was happy that he agreed but I was ecstatic when he suggested Itachi's shop. We have our finals next month. And I also have my research paper. Time has been a real bitch since Atami. It feels like it's got wings with the way days fly away. And when I'm with Itachi…it feels like time's cheating with how fast it goes.
We march up to the counter where Itachi scribbles something on a piece of paper. He looks up at us and smiles. I love that he doesn't hide his smiles in front of me now. It warms my heart all over.
"Sasuke, would you mind going to the storage to check the price of the red refrigerator?" Itachi says suddenly. He taps the pencil against a file on his desk, glancing at him distractedly. He looks…impatient.
A smile makes its way to my face before I can school my features. Itachi's up to his shenanigans again. I feel Sasuke's gaze at me so I turn to him, tearing my eyes away from Itachi's head bowed over his desk. His ponytail falls over his shoulder, cascading like a waterfall. It brings back memories of fantasies fulfilled. It makes my cock lurch.
I smile my best friend smile at Sasuke. "It's alright. I'll wait." I nod at him.
The door to the storage room doesn't even close completely before Itachi pulls me forward and kisses me. It's quick but damn hot. "Hi." Itachi whispers to me in English and if that doesn't have me hard and raging. I glance at this man who's eyeing me seductively, not even knowing how innocently he keeps ruining things for me. This man is my utter undoing. The person that will ultimately become the reason for my downfall and damn I must be demented because I love this so much. I am never, never going to be able to say a hi again without thinking of him.
"Hi," I whisper back, pecking his lips. We're close enough to get caught in a second. But we don't care. "Did you miss me?" I ask him, my lips unable to contain their grin.
Itachi glances at my lips and licks his. "Very much," he answers, eyes coming to meet mine when my lips stretch into that loony grin again. And because this is Itachi, of course he has to ask. "And you?" he asks, making me chuckle.
"Like I was thirsty and you were the only water and I couldn't have you," I tell him in my warlord tone. This game we keep playing will be our doom.
"It should be a crime to look that good and say such things," he shakes his head. His cheeks pinken as he covers his face with his hands, hiding what he feels behind his eyes under that hand.
I raise my hand to pry off his hand from his face but I step back once I hear a noise coming from the storage as Sasuke returns. He glances at me and then at Itachi who's still covering his face, his shoulders shaking, undoubtedly in mirth.
"Did something happen?" Sasuke asks, glancing at us again, before his eyes come to rest on me when both of us remain silent for a while.
I shake my head, glancing at Itachi before looking at Sasuke. "Uh, we were just having our formal Japanese lesson," I begin, thinking of the most plausible explanation I can muster wondering why I must offer an explanation at all! Itachi is my lover for god's sake! "It must have been something I said in Japanese that must have made him laugh," my hand immediately goes towards the back of my neck, my nervous tick as I glance at Sasuke.
Thankfully, Sasuke buys it for he nods before turning to his brother. He continues to eye his brother for another moment, his brows furrowed. "You've been rather strange these past few days," he muses thoughtfully, pointing the sentence towards him. I tense immediately. I know what he's thinking. We underestimated him gravely when Itachi started these activities in the shop. Of course he'd notice if we suddenly left him alone and started spending time alone together!
Itachi straightens, his own brow furrowing as he regards his brother. Sasuke glances at me, making me feel uncomfortable. This is turning into a fight and there's nothing I can do to stop it. The dark feelings rise. There's a perpetual cloud of storm thundering in my chest, because even though I want to put an end to this conversation, I'm still an outsider.
I still make an effort. I clear my throat and pointedly glance at the clock, my eyes finding Sasuke's. I move my eyes quickly towards the door, urging him silently to let's just go, but Sasuke's eyes cut to his brother's again, questions that anyone can read evident in those eyes.
"I'm hungry. Let's get dinner together," I suggest; desperate to diffuse the tension that's risen.
He nods once before turning towards the doors. He doesn't say a single word as I turn to follow his lead, silently. My body urges me to stay, but I know it's the right thing to do. The thing he would want me to do. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to kiss and touch and just have this man for longer. The tension from a minute ago hangs heavy. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of my chest. I halt and turn towards him, wanting more than anything to kiss him breathless. Instead, I wish him goodnight, my tone turning low and formal. He frowns and I know he hates it. He gives me his shopkeeper smile in return. I want to lean forward and kiss it away. I bow and finally turn towards the door. Sasuke's nowhere to be seen, probably unlocking his bicycle or something. My lips land on Itachi's before either can process what happened. But a second later, the kiss deepens like we've been so desperate for it. It's like the air we breathe. I almost moan when Itachi breaks the kiss too quicky as he pushes me away.
"Let's go on a date this Friday, okay?" I ask.
"I'll let you know." he nods.
"I love you," I tell him.
"And I love you! Now go," he pats my ass when I turn.
I quickly jog towards the door, knowing better than to give Sasuke more ammunition. As the automatic doors part, I turn to look at Itachi. My heart soars and screams when I find his eyes glued to mine, standing exactly where I left him. He smiles at me, my heart breaking at the love I see in those eyes.
This wretched day. I swear.
I wait near the station for Itachi. My heart, as usual, beats on pins and needles as every second feels like an eternity while I wait for him. It's 3.55 and we're supposed to meet at 4.10. I glance at my phone again after not even ten seconds, wishing beyond anything for the minutes to change. "Naruto-kun," his voice makes my head snap up from where I was looking at my phone. Happiness spreads across my chest when I see him. He's wearing a heather-grey button-down shirt and dark blue jeans. My heartbeats race. He looks sleek and sexy. I like that he's dressed for me. I've ditched my usual casuals for a navy-blue shirt with white jeans. We aren't going extremely far from this town. It's just three stops away by subway. I discovered the restaurant one day by chance and I've always wanted to bring him there. It's a quiet hole-in-the-wall restaurant that offers ample privacy.
We pass the ticket counter and get inside the train. It's mostly empty but we choose a quieter space at the back to stand together. "How were classes today?" Itachi asks quietly when the train begins to move.
I look up from where I'm staring a hole into the glass panes where I can see his reflection. I run a hand across my chin, contemplating how to answer. "I don't know," I say, truthfully.
Itachi's brow quirks. "You don't know?" he parrots my statement but changes the tone.
"Yeah. I wasn't paying attention to them." I glance at him and smile.
Itachi opens his mouth to question me why. I can read his eyes now. Oh I can read them very well! Because I know the exact moment realization hits him. He blinks at me once and then an unexpected burst of laughter leaves his mouth. His cheeks pink at the suddenness of it.
We stand quietly, much closer than we should. I ask him about his day and he tells me how this morning, his son wrapped his hands around Sasuke's leg and wouldn't let him go. Sasuke stayed and played with him for an hour before Kiyoshi let him go. Itachi rolls his eyes fondly when he talks about Kiyoshi's pout melting Sasuke on the spot.
Sasuke, it turns out, is absolute putty in that boy's hands or as Itachi claims is "the worst of us." I have to agree at how we're willing to roll over and show him our bellies if that tiny, regal being so commands it. It makes me recall all the times when he's got us agreeing to everything when we're together. Ah, man! The fact that I have memories with him too brings me a huge amount of delight. I love that little kid. I want to see him.
"Where did you leave him today?" I ask, getting closer to him when a lot of people walk into the train. We're a stop away now and though it takes more than ten minutes to just reach the first stop, we're already at the second. Time really flies when I'm with him.
He grins when he hears the question. My eyebrows draw together in curiosity. Itachi waits for the train to start moving again to answer. "He's actually at home with Sasuke today," Itachi informs me, his grin widening.
"What excuse did you make?" I ask, slipping the hand between us to brush it against his unobtrusively. Itachi stills at the contact. And then with a surreptitious glance around us, he surprises me by linking our fingers together. I squeeze his fingers in mine.
"I told him I had to go to a work meeting in the next town," he tells me. His mouth twists in dislike at the thought of having to lie to his brother. Now that I think about it, Sasuke told Itachi he was being weird. I wonder if he's suspicious of us. Has he noticed something? Does he know? The tempest in my chest crescendos to a new height.
I open my mouth to ask but the operator chooses that moment to announce our station. I hate that we have to let go of our hands. We get down quickly and walk silently beside each other towards the exits. Once we're out of the station, we walk towards the shopping area near the station. We've got plenty of time before dinner and exploring this small town was the most obvious choice. "Have you been here before?" I ask, smiling when Itachi rolls his eyes.
"Of course! As a kid I used to come here all the time with Shisui. We'd spend hours in the arcade here!" Itachi says, smiling in fondness at the memories. Acid fills my chest at the mention of that name. Even though I don't show it, I know that Shisui will always be a rival to me. He has just too much history with this man. I don't like the jealousy he unknowingly ignites in my chest.
"Is that arcade still here?" I ask as an idea hits me.
Itachi's brow furrows. "Yes, but -" he looks up at me curiously, trying to read my mind. His eyes narrow and mischief replaces the fire already burning in my chest. Here we are in a shopping district, in front of a Uniqlo store surrounded by people and I want nothing more than to kiss him.
"We're going to the arcade," I announce as I grab his hand and steer him towards the exit. He complies with a laugh as his fingers curl around mine, warming my chest further.
We exit the shopping area almost sprinting. People give us weird looks but we don't care. Once outside we hurry with the same stride towards the arcade. Itachi laughs openly every time our eyes meet and it's amazing how my mind which was so clouded with lust merely minutes ago, now wants nothing more than to bask in this moment, hoping it never ends. Itachi cuts to a left corner and we're walking in what seems like a labyrinth of smaller streets till we hit a right corner which he takes. He sweeps his arm graciously at the arcade that stands right in front of us.
"Welcome to my childhood addiction, Naruto-kun," he says, relishing the moment.
I look around the place. It feels like an arcade from the early 2000's, maybe earlier. There's no one in there, not even the store owner, it seems. My eyes immediately go towards the video games. One machine is still playing Tekken 5 and I love it. I glance at him and grin. "Would you like a challenge of good old Tekken, Itachi-sama?" I ask.
Itachi all but tsks at me. "It won't be a challenge, Naruto-kun," he challenges back. He turns and we move towards the coin machine. I pull out a thousand yen note and stick it the cash slot.
"And why is that?" I ask, turning towards the machine when I'm prompted to make a selection.
"Because there's no one who can beat me," Itachi says it so matter-of-factly, I find my bravado slipping even as I grin. He has spent a lot of time here after all. My own childhood comes to mind, reminding me about all the times I've spent in gaming parlors too. And I'm no novice at this game. I'll prove to him I'm a challenge.
We set the game to double player mode and get started. Itachi's eyes widen when I choose Jin but he doesn't say anything. He's grinning now and I swear he looks conniving. My usual golden-hearted sweetheart is nowhere in sight. I smirk at him. Jin is a character I've always chosen. He may not be the strongest but I know his combo moves by heart. My eyebrows go up when he chooses Devil Jin. As I look at that devilish grin on his face, my own lips curve up.
Something like resolution fires in my blood. I glance at Itachi as the fight is about to begin. "Get ready, Itachi-sama because I'm going to kick your ass," I tell him.
Itachi exhales, making his nose flare. He flexes the hand he grips the joystick with, distracting me. But the next second my attention snaps back when he very pertly stands straighter and smirks. "I'd rather you kiss it instead." he tells me sweetly when he grabs the joystick tighter. The pre-game video plays as our characters make their appearance. "I'll make you eat your words," he promises.
"Game on, Itachi-sama." I lean closer to him. "If you lose, it won't be words you'll be eating," I wink at him when he reddens and risks turning to me. He tsks and I throw my head back and laugh.
"Promises, promises," he mutters, turning back to the screen.
I turn back to the game, just in time as Itachi charges forward to start the fight. There's no time restraint and I'm glad for that. His confidence, as beautiful as it is, is making me nervous. And it's for a good reason, it hits me after a minute. Because Itachi, the little shit, counters every single move by copying the move I made. Now I know why he was smirking so hard after making the same selection. This game is evil now. I'm playing against myself.
It gets more and more difficult as Itachi gets reacquainted with his character and the combination, getting swifter and faster with every move in the limited capacity offered. His right hand covers the buttons as he taps them frantically. I'm at my best defense now. I carefully dodge another attack and try to come closer for an attack, but there are no openings. I've played against many people but this guy is formidable, very much so.
Even then, even when my character slips up and my energy bar shortens, I just want to watch him work the game with this glee he emits. It could have been as devilish as before, but now he's just enjoying the game. That fervent urge to kiss him arises but I squash it down when I hurry to defend my Jin at the last second. Itachi huffs when I make it.
We kick and dodge and work our combos for a long time. It feels like an evenly matched combat. Every time one side loses some life, the other side loses the same amount too. Finally, when we're down to the last bar, in a moment of pure luck I launch an attack at Devil Jin. He moves to block but it's too late and Itachi clicks his tongue so loudly, I actually turn around to see if anyone else is there. Luckily, there's no one else to bear witness to seeing him angry. This is all mine. I can't help it; I lean down and kiss him.
My grin is so wide, it's splitting my lips open. Itachi stands there quietly for a second unperturbed by what I did. As if me kissing him in public is an everyday occurrence.
"Beginner's luck!" he mutters, huffing again. His lips come up in a grimace as he inserts the coins and restarts the game.
I'm loving this sore and prickly Itachi. I can envision us doing this every month, every year, for a long, long time. I can picture me falling in love harder with this man who bristles at a loss like he can't believe himself. Hell, this could be a tradition we could have!
"Bring it on!" I nod, staring at the screen.
Oh, I could do this all day! Because right now, in this moment, I have to say, victory has never tasted this sweet.
I lick my lips and he tsks.
We play till we've used all our coins. After that one game, Itachi didn't let his guard down even once. He looks extremely smug about his winnings. I would happily lay the world down at the feet of this man if this was the result. His lips are stretched in a beautiful smile with the corners tilted up. He's a vision as he contemplates getting more coins. I look at the time and suggest we go a few more rounds. Itachi is about to say something when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He glances at the caller ID and silences his phone. "It's Shisui. I'll call him back later." Itachi explains, turning back to the video game.
Something like joy bursts in my veins at that. The fact that he turned down a call from someone like Shisui feels like another personal victory. Oh sure, these are the only two victories I hold so far tonight but I can't complain. I already feel like a king.
"Maybe it's important," my mouth moves on its own accord. I curse myself but my heart lifts when Itachi smiles at me. It's a mysterious smile and I'm clueless about the cause. Is it because I wanted to be polite or because he thought I cared about Shisui? Though I really want to clarify and tell him I spoke out of courtesy, I don't want to ruin the moment.
"No. We usually hang out Friday nights. He's probably calling to ask about my plans," Itachi explains yet again. I nod, not saying anything. Not even knowing what to say here. I imagine him drinking himself silly and giggling with Shisui and bile rises in my throat. My victories lie crumbled on the ground like a pile of sand. The majority of me wants to back him into a wall and make him answer the call while I blow him. My caveman is out, feral in all his majesty. Right now, if pissing in a circle around him to mark my territory were possible, I wouldn't waste a second to pull my zipper down and do the honors. But the minority inside me still bargains with reason.
I nod, not opening the floodgates of disaster. I know, I just know that whatever it is that I feel each time Shisui comes up, wouldn't hesitate to spill like vomit. I can never do that to this slice of heaven I have. To unleash the barrage of questions that's just holding itself back. Itachi tacitly changes the conversation to the dinner invite and I push aside my gloomy and pensive mood to engage in it. We're making our way towards the restaurant when I take a sudden right into a back alley of sorts. I push him against the wall and kiss him right there. The beast that's been howling in my chest purrs like a satisfied cat.
"What was that for?" Itachi asks, after we've kissed to our hearts' content.
I merely shrug. "I don't need a reason to kiss you Itachi-sama," I say as I take his hand and we walk the rest of the way, hand-in-hand.
We're smiling by the time we're seated inside the restaurant. It's a warm and comfortable space with a wooden structure and tall windows. There are low lamps hanging above us giving out warm light that adds a touch of coziness to the whole space. But that's not the highlight here. Each table is separated from the others by a small square of opaque glass surrounding us. And there is just one booth that does not open in the same way as the others. It opens to a view of the front wall. The table is a little to the left of the door keeping us away from prying eyes. I steer him in that direction, overjoyed when I find it empty. I plan to sit beside him but change my mind and choose the seat across from him instead. I smile when Itachi's knee bumps mine. It's another reason why I chose this place aside from the décor and this strategic booth. I'd chanced upon this booth at a day when there was less traffic here. I'd wished for a date like this with him even back then when I could do nothing but pine for him.
And here we are…
Our knees rest together comfortably. As we open our menus, we nudge each other's knee playfully. They have set menus here which I like. I recommend Set A to Itachi which has delicious lemon and pepper chicken with jasmine rice while getting Set B with the salmon and roasted potatoes for myself. I order a wine that I'm familiar with and launch into the story of how I found this place when he asks me. "Sai, one of my friends from home who goes to my university, and I were here for a fireworks festival back when I'd just landed here. After the fireworks show, on our way back, we were discussing what to get for dinner when Sai's bike got a flat tire. So we decided to look around for a place to fix it. After fifteen minutes of nothing, we passed this restaurant. We caught a whiff of the aroma and all it took was a loud growl from my stomach as we found the nearest place to park our bikes, walk back and order ourselves food. I fell in love with it the moment I stepped in." I finish the story.
Itachi listens to my story with an elbow on the table, his fist supporting his chin. I lean forward, imitating his pose but my eyes drop to his lips. "You still with me, Itachi-sama?" I ask him, my lips a hairsbreadth away from his. The restaurant provides enough privacy for what's racing through both our heads. Itachi doesn't break his pose. His only indication of the affect this is having on him is the drop of his gaze to my mouth and innocently, almost unconsciously, licking his lips. He exhales and I feel it on my lips. My lips part to take in what he gives but he does one even better. He leans forward and seals his lips with mine.
The kiss lights every nerve inside me. His tongue flicks against mine once and then he's gone, face resting on his palm, his eyes closed, his breathing shallow as his mouth opens to take small gasps of air. I sit back breathlessly and watch this man in front of me. He ignites a decadent greed inside of me, I think will never quench. He's just ethereal.
I lower my eyes to my menu, to hide the racing emotions in my chest, the fire he so skillfully stokes every time we meet. Once he's regained composure from what's ailing me too, he puts down his menu. "Since you've found this place, you come here often?" he asks, turning time back to the story.
I laugh. "So you were with me after all, huh, Itachi-sama," I tease him, watching his lips curve up.
"I'm always with you, Naruto-kun." He answers smugly, making me tilt my head back and laugh. I walked right into that one. "Don't change the subject and answer the question," Itachi tsks and fuck my crazed heart but I'm beginning to understand his tsks. And this one isn't about being irritated with me. Call me insane but I think he does that when he's frustrated because he can't do something he wants to do. And now I finally know that he does it often when we're places where we can't touch.
He frowns, pointedly staring at my face and I shrug. "Once a month, maybe twice? I love this place!"
He hums, thoughtfully. "With Sasuke too, I guess?" he says and I frown at him, not understanding where he's going with this.
"Not him. But I come here with my other friends as well. Why?" I ask.
He shrugs. "I was just curious," he says.
I want to pry further but our food arrives then, distracting us with the aroma. Once our food's been placed, I raise my glass of wine and lift it for a toast. Itachi's slender fingers curl around the stem as he lifts his own. "To us being here," Itachi says softly as I lean closer. Closer enough to toe the line between sanity and this inferno between us.
"To madness," I say as Itachi laughs before clinking his glass softly against mine.
It's insane how I'm already in the eye of the tempest and the currents pull me under. And I don't even care if I've already drowned.
Itachi bites into his chicken and moans appreciatively. "This is delicious!" he exclaims.
I bite into my salmon and relish the flavors. I've had it before but luckily, today they've outdone themselves. We eat quietly for some time, our attention on the food alone, for a change. I'm halfway done with my fish and potatoes when I cut another piece and stab my fork gently through it for another bite. I bring the fork up and see Itachi looking at me. I do the first thing that comes into my blank head. "Do you want to try the salmon, Itachi-sama?" I ask, turning the fork with the fish towards him. His eyes drop to the morsel before moving up to look into mine. I lick my lips and his eyes follow that movement before moving towards the morsel of food on my fork, till they bounce back to my mouth.
I'm expecting an immediate denial or an outstretched hand for my fork to take the bite as an obvious reaction. But him, no. I guess I still don't know him as well as I thought as lust races through my veins at the sight before me. He bends, till he's at level with the fork. His eyes dart up to mine as he opens his mouth and his tongue comes out. It runs around the prongs of the fork and then his lips take over as he sucks the salmon very graphically into his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. He knows what he's doing to me. He knows what my own parted lips mean. The groan that leaves me has him smiling like a Cheshire cat.
His eyes lower as he chews softly after I cover my face with a hand, my cock throbbing hotly. It gets worse when his tongue runs out to lick his lips lasciviously.
"That was…delicious," I mutter, my breath stolen as my eyes stay firmly glued to his mouth. His tongue comes out again to race across his lower lip before sneaking back.
"Is that your review of the food?" he asks. The urge to kiss him is unbearable. I want nothing more than to push aside our plates and devour those lips right here. I want it so bad, it's all I can think about.
"What food?" I ask, my eyes refusing to move from their spot on his mouth. His tongue flicks out again, making me groan. He lets out a soft chuckle at my answer. My situation is turning dangerously problematic now. I need to shift my thoughts. One of us needs to be sane before we answer this call between us. Regret fills my mouth as I break the spell to pick up my drink and take a large sip. This contradiction between wanting to be sane while gulping down wine fucks with my brain for a moment but I brush it aside.
Our next date will be after I come back from Hakone. Why did I sign up for this dinner that's now turning into torture and mounds and mounds of sexual frustration? I should have just brought us to the nearest love hotel and done this mad foreplay horizontally in a private space. I would happily have watched him be graphic with the real thing for hours with the option to participate, to show him everything he makes me feel.
But now that the outside world has permeated my thoughts, I want to cringe at that decision too. Why did I say yes to a trip to Hakone? It was the perfect opportunity to spend the weekend at Itachi's place, in his space. How could I have been so stupid! I want to smack myself. I know, I did this because it was the right thing to do. But at this moment, fuck righteousness!
Itachi places my fork neatly on my plate and picks up his cutlery after that show. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?" he asks. His eyes are rigidly fixed on his plate as he cuts into his food. His body language screams nonchalance but there's a tightness around his mouth.
I don't want to talk about this. It feels like this enchanted bubble around us has just burst. "We're assembling at the station at nine-thirty tomorrow morning," I tell him.
"All packed?" he asks.
"No. I'll do it before I sleep," I shrug.
Itachi chews his food and doesn't answer. His eyes still don't rise up to meet mine. He takes a couple of sips of his wine and sets his glass down. There's more he wants to ask but he's holding it in. "And how many of you are going?" he finally asks. After the conversation we had earlier about me bringing my friends here, I now know where this is going.
"There's Sasuke, two of his friends Suigetsu and Juugo and I," I tell him to make him feel at ease.
"You've met them before?" he asks, surprised for some reason.
"Yeah. We've met a couple of times. They're…nice." I inform him.
His expression doesn't change. It stays stoic and he takes another bite of his food. I'm eating my food without tasting it. Now that we've stirred the hornet's nest, I cannot concentrate on the food. "Something on your mind?" I break the silence that ensues after my last comment.
Itachi puts down his cutlery and folds his hands on the table. "You're going with someone who has feelings for you on a fucking onsen trip tomorrow. What do you think would be on my mind?" His words are spoken quietly. They belie the storm flashing in his eyes now as they bore into mine.
The stale regret from before only worsens how I feel. This whole mess is just so unfair! I didn't ask for Sasuke to fall for me! "Should I cancel?" I ask him in all earnestness.
His eyes come back to mine at the question, brows drawing closer. "What?" he spits out the word as he pushes away his plate. My face reddens even as misery fills me up inside. The person who brought us together is now becoming the very thing that splits us apart. I hate how twisted things have become between us.
"I won't go if you don't like it." I tell him.
"Are you saying that for real?" he asks, crossing his arms across his chest.
I lean forward and rest my elbows on the table, manners be damned, as I push my plate away. Everything tastes like ash now anyway. "You know I am," I tell him.
"No," it's a whisper. The hardness on his face transforms completely into something like resentment. Something is brewing here which I'm completely at sea about. Something this man hides and won't tell me. Now that I can read those midnight eyes, I can see the twinge of sadness there. I recall his invite to his house the day I'd agreed to go to Hakone with Sasuke. I can still hear the excitement, the hope, and the anticipation and his eagerness to have us together. True, it did bring us our spontaneous trip to Atami but this greed inside me wants nothing more than to just stay here with him. Especially now that the clock is ticking.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask, picking up my wine glass and finishing the wine in it. I refill it immediately. He nods and I lick my lips before I begin. "Earlier, the day we spoke about this trip, you wanted me to come over to your place, right?" He leans forward now, his eyes on me as he nods. I glance down at the checkered tablecloth before looking back at him. "What had you planned?" I ask.
Itachi looks away from me before turning his attention to me again. A ghost of something passes in his eyes before he turns his attention back to me. "Does it matter?" he asks.
I bite my lip. I'm not falling into this one. "This was your plan. I want to hear what you wanted to do," I whisper, moving forward to brush the thick lock of hair away from his eyes. My fingertips caress his smooth skin as I trace his cheeks to tuck the lock behind his ear just like I'd done that one time in the bar. "Tell me, please?" I urge him in a whisper.
"No," he says with finality. "It doesn't matter anymore," sincerity bleeds through his words. He's breaking down his own walls. "Because Atami happened," he briefly touches my hand.
"What was it?" I ask. I really want to know what he's planned.
His cheeks pinken. "Let it go Naruto. Atami was better than anything I'd planned, anyway," he smiles sweetly at me.
I smile back at him. "Well, it does belong to us," I say smiling at him. We haven't talked about it ever since we came back and now seems like the perfect opportunity.
Itachi's happy smile confirms it. His lips break out in a grin, his eyes away on the trip as he reminisces. "Maybe we could go again! Soon!"
I lean in and put my lips to his and draw away immediately, teasing him. He makes no move to recapture them but I know he wants to. "We'll go wherever you want to. It'll be my pleasure, Itachi-sama."
Itachi's smile spreads wider. "That I absolutely cannot deny," he says cheekily as he curls his fingers in his hand. "Even thinking about it…" He looks at me almost wistfully when he tsks.
I throw my head back and laugh.
The restaurant was just about ready to close for the night when we walk out of it. I glance at my watch to see it is past eleven-thirty. And it feels as if only an hour has passed. We spent five hours in that restaurant just ordering bottles of wine in order to sit there and simply enjoy each other's company. After all our hurried escapades this week, these hours have been a welcome reprieve. Once we started talking about Atami, we couldn't stop.
We begin the short walk to the station in silence. Both of us are quite drunk on the wine so we walk a little closer to each other. I'm dying to put my arm around him and pretend to be drunker than I am just to be closer to him, but he'll know right away that I'm faking it. "Still won't tell me your plan? What if I think it's better than Hakone?"
Itachi snorts. "Anything is better than Hakone," he scoffs.
"Please tell me! I'm dying to know."
"Nope."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't matter," he pushes back his hair agitatedly. "Go Naruto. You have to sort things out with him. Make it count. Go as his one-sided crush and come back as his friend. I'm at the end of my rope here."
He grabs my hand before it can do its job and pulls me to the closest backstreet he can find.
He holds me like his life depends on it. I breathe in his scent, committing it as best as I can to memory. His hands run all over me and come to skim the waistband of my jeans as he pushes me against the wall. My hands race everywhere on his body. Itachi presses a wet kiss against my throat and I push back my head for better access. My mouth turns to his ear and I gasp loudly as Itachi bites the skin there. He alternates between biting and licking the skin. I moan and writhe against his mouth. He removes his mouth from my skin and pulls my head down for a kiss.
"You're mine, Naruto-kun," he whispers against my mouth before claiming it. Despite the station being not more than two hundred meters away, all sounds still when he says those words to me. My heart pounds hard and heavy in my chest. "I've claimed you as mine," he runs his nose against the mark he's left on my skin. "Don't you ever forget that," he warns, his eyes flash in the dark.
With that, he removes himself from above me, adjusts his crotch, straightens his clothes and marches to the station without looking back.
I smile like an idiot and follow. The station lights illuminate his face as we get to the station. I fight the urge to grab him again when I look at his pink cheeks. He firmly avoids eye contact with me as he fixes his gaze straight ahead. We don't say anything as we get inside the train and grab two empty seats beside each other. I lean back against the stuffed velvet seats and lean my head against the window. My heart is still beating like it's forgotten how to function at a normal pace. I don't want to think about the words he left me with and the affect they've had on me. Not when he leans in closer, links his arm with mine and settles his face in the crook of my neck. A burst of current flows through me when he exhales. Goosebumps rise against my skin, making my nipples harden even as blood urgently pools south.
Itachi's phone buzzes next to me, thankfully distracting me. He removes his head from my shoulder and pulls out his phone. Sasuke's name is displayed on the screen, making us turn to each other. He takes it and speaks quietly and hangs up after ten seconds. "Did something happen?" I ask, my thoughts turning to Kiyoshi immediately.
Itachi's face shows no panic as he locks his phone. He shakes his head. "Sasuke just wanted to know where I was," he says.
I nod. "What time did you tell him you'd be back?" I ask him once he pockets his phone.
Itachi doesn't reply immediately, choosing to think for a few seconds. His eyes darken with regret when he looks at me. "I told him I'd be home in half an hour," Itachi says.
It's after midnight and I have to get up early tomorrow for Hakone. Not to mention Itachi needs to be home for Kiyoshi. As we exit the station, it gets more and more difficult to part. We link our fingers together when we reach the final stairs. He looks around furtively and kisses me.
These stairs lead to the main street where we'll both part ways once we reach the landing. I stroke his cheek softly. "I'll miss you, Itachi-sama. I hope you'll think of me too," I smile at him.
He looks deep in my eyes as he lifts himself up to meet me for another kiss. It's passionate and heartrending. "You know that I will. I hope you can give him the closure he needs. I trust you, Naruto." Itachi says.
The words this man leaves me with, render me useless. This man has given me his most precious thing. He's given me his trust. Happiness so poignant that makes my chest ache flows through me. We link our hands together once again and ascend the stairs. Itachi lets go of my hand immediately once we reach the landing. His eyes which were full of so many emotions a second ago are now shuttered as he gives me a friendly smile.
He turns to me, bows politely and then just like after Atami, he leaves me alone without looking back. Not even when I watch him walk away till the shadows consume him. His cold actions contradict his warm words.
Amidst all the happiness I feel, something unfurls and settles in my chest at that. Something sad.
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