Author's Note: Much longer than I expected. Not as happy either, sorry.

Homemade: Jess

"My present's awful," Jess confided in Abby.

Abby had seen it, and was now trying to be tactful. "You did make it yourself," she said, "so Becker will love it."

"I notice you didn't argue about the awful part."

Abby smiled. "Sorry."

Jess groaned. "I'm so embarrassed. I can't give that to him."

"Yes, you can. The idea behind it is lovely."

"What present are you talking about?" asked Connor.

"The one she's been working on every spare moment, Connor."

Connor looked shocked. "That's for Becker? I thought it was for your mum, or a girlfriend. You made that for Action Man, really?"

Abby kicked him. "Shut up Connor."

"No, he's right. Where was my head? It's a stupid idea, made worse by the fact it looks hideous. This is going to be awful."

Abby put her arm around Jess. "It won't be that bad."

"I wanted to give him something that shows him how much he means to me."

"Hey, Jess, I'm sorry," said Connor. "What do I know?"

Party time finally arrived, and her mood went from bad to worse. Jess kept changing her mind on bringing the present, so she arrived late. What she saw horrified her.

Becker sat in the middle of a table, packed with pretty girls.

"I'm leaving."

"No, Jess," said Emily. "Do not be discouraged. He is not comfortable."

Jess looked again, and Emily was right. Becker looked nervous, and did not seem to be talking to the women.

"They sat beside him," said Abby. "Every time he tries to leave, they pull him back down."

"Jess!" cried Becker. "Look, Jess is here. Finally."

She smiled. "OK, I feel better."

She walked over, and Becker quickly made room. He actually pushed the girls.

Jess squeezed in.

"Save me," he whispered.

She smiled. "You're not enjoying the attention?"

He looked aghast. "Yeah, I love pushy, touchy, clingy women," he whispered.

She smiled. He noticed the box and he smiled.

"Is that for anyone in particular?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I tried, I really did, to make you something you'd like. I'm rubbish with crafts, and well...Becker your gift sucks."

He laughed. "Jess, I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Attention, everyone," said Lester, seated at a small table in front , "I have a clean, bare table in front of me. Why? It's Christmas. Bring on the gifts, for me, that is. I need this table piled high. Now."

"Nice Christmas spirit," said Abby.

Lester glared at her. "Come on, Miss Maitland, bring on the bling."

"Bling? OK, whose been teaching Lester slang?" asked Connor.

Everyone laughed, and started giving out gifts, and soon Lester did have a pile.

Jess sighed.

"Don't be so sad," said Becker. "I'm sure I'll love it."

"Love is much too strong a word," said Jess.

"Captain Becker," said a tall, leggy blonde, with a sultry voice. "May I wish you a happy holiday?"

"Sure, Stella," he said politely. "Happy Christmas to you too."

She smiled seductively, and pushed a small paper container towards him. "I noticed how you seemed to love these here in the canteen, so I made a small batch. Bon Appetit."

Becker opened the box. "Homemade Prawn Crackers! Wow, thank you."

She smiled, and bent down to kiss his cheek, leaving a great big red lip print.

"Maybe you can come over some time and we can get cooking, the prawns I mean."

Becker blushed, and was lost for words.

Beside him, a petite brunette was suddenly plagued with a coughing fit.

"Jess! Are you alright?" asked Becker with concern.

"Fine," she croaked. "Sorry, something in here must be getting to me."

Stella glared at Jess. "As I was saying..."

"Becker!" squealed a high-pitched voice. A bubbly red-headed nearly ran Stella down. "Sorry," she said. "Becker! Happy, happy Christmas," she said.

"Thanks, Kerry."

She smiled, and handed him a thin box.

"Oh, you really shouldn't have. You're both too kind," he said, and he opened the box.

"Wow!" said Jess. "That is a beautiful bookmark."

"Thank you," said Kerry with a blush. "My grandma taught me to embroider ages ago. I've gotten pretty good."

"Pretty good?" asked Becker. "That's phenomenal. I mean it, Kerry."

Kerry smiled.

They were interrupted by giggles, chatter, and cries of "Becker!" A mass of ladies all streamed toward him.

"Wow," said Matt, "Someone's popular."

"And someone else is hurt," said Emily, nodding to Jess.

Jess was crowded, poked and shoved.

"Easy!" cried Becker, at last. "You're all very sweet, but let's get some order, OK? Thank you. Are you OK, Jess?"

"I'm fine. I'm just going to get some punch," she said.

"No! Jess!" he called. Jess walked away.

"They don't mean anything to him," said Matt.

"Yeah, he looks terrified," said Connor.

"Perhaps you should return and protect him," said Emily.

Jess looked back, and Becker did look overwhelmed. He politely opened gifts shoved into his arms. The women cackled and laughed, but Becker cringed and tried to escape.

"You're right," said Jess.

She started back over when another wave hit, but this time it was a tide of men, rushing for Jess. She was pulled down to a table a few feet away from Becker. Gifts were piled high in front of her.

"Miss Parker, sweets for the sweet," said one bloke, handing her a box of homemade sweets.

"Yummy, thank you, but you shouldn't have."

"I owed you, for saving my laptop."

Jess smiled.

"Don't worry," he said, "it's just a friendly gift." He looked nervously over to Becker, who was glaring their way. "I don't have a death wish."

Jess smiled and blushed.

Among the other gifts Jess received was a hand sewn teddy bear, homemade soaps that smelled pretty good, and an attempt at perfume which didn't.

Jess continued politely opening gifts. The men could see her hesitation, and assured her that they were just friendly gifts because she was caring and helpful all year long.

Then a new medic plopped down beside her. He handed her a small gift, with a cheeky smile.

"Mistletoe," she said. "You didn't make this."

"I'm a rebel. I break the rules," he said with a leer. "Shall we try it out?"

"Sure, pucker up," said a smooth, sexy voice behind him. One that could only be Becker's.

Jess smiled, and giggled. She said to the medic, "Thank you, but I think it's too crowded in here."

"Much too crowded," said Becker, moving in to sit beside Jess. "This is cozy," he said.

Apparently too cozy since the medic quickly left. The men at the table looked nervously at Becker.

Soon, Becker's fan club collided with Jess' and the two of them opened presents, grinning at each other and making helpful comments.

"Coffee. Good one. Jess isn't hyper enough."

"Stop it, Becker," she said, clearly amused. "It was very sweet, and quite ambitious of him to make his own blend."

"Look Jess, a gun-shaped candle."

"What's the fragrance, gunpowder?"

Becker's eyes lit up, but than he said, "No such luck. I can't wait for a black out. Then, again, maybe I don't want emergency light," he said, smirking at Jess.

"You're terrible," she said with a chuckle.

"This is cool," he said, still holding the wax firearm.

Jess looked at the candle with envy. "It is," she said sadly. "So was the bookmark and the prawns. They were awesome gits, all of these are awesome."

Becker looked at her and frowned. "Jess..."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Fine. Here, but you'll hate it." She covered her eyes.

He chuckled. "Tell you what, since you're so sensitive, we'll open it later, in private."

Jess smiled and nodded.

A few seconds later, a voice said, "One present left, it's for Becker."

"No, we aren't opening it just yet," said Becker.

A female voice said, "Bollocks with that," and ripped the present open herself.

Jess was aghast, at the very least it was rude.

The gift was a small fabric figure. Well, it resembled a figure. It looked kind of like a mushroom with stubby arms.

The crowd burst out laughing.

"What the hell is that?"

"Did someone blind make it?"

"Maybe one of the creatures did."

There was a round of uproarious laughter.

Jess was pink. She began to cry. She stood up to run.

That's when Becker jumped up, grabbed her, and held on tight. The crowd quieted immediately.

"Sorry, Miss Parker."

"Who am I to judge? My biscuits taste like rubber."

"Did you see the clay figure I made? It looks like a teletubby."

"Don't cry, Jess," said Becker. Jess was snuggled in his embrace, her head buried into his chest.

There were murmurs of agreement, and the table dispersed.

"Sit down with me Jess."

They sat back down, still entwined. Eventually Jess spoke.

"I wanted to make you something smashing, not something that should be smashed."

He grinned. "Please don't feel bad. It breaks my heart."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Jess. You made it yourself. I love it because you made it."

"How can you? It's hideous."

"Jess, what did you like the most about my present?"

"Everything."

"What's special about it? You can eat chocolate any day, and you do," he said with a chuckle. "And is it really a good idea to fire things into your face?"

"I like it," she said. "You made it just for me."

"Exactly. You made this just for me. I love it just like you love the Jess Feeder."

Jess sat quietly, thinking. She sighed, wiped her eyes, and sat up.

"It's horrid. Isn't it? Now you know why I keep to things digital."

Becker smiled.

Jess took the little doll in her hands. "It's an angel, well, it's supposed to be. It's head kept growing, and then the halo sagged into it, and the lower body shrunk after I glued it, and the wings fell off...its a mess."

"It's not that bad."

"Yes, it is. Anyway, I know a doll seems weird for a soldier, but every time you go on call, or anyone does for that matter, I wish I could send along a guardian angel to protect you. I was trying to make one."

Becker smiled. "That was an incredibly sweet idea, Jess."

Jess shrugged.

"I like that its pocket size," said Becker.

"That's so you can carry it with you but not tarnish your Action Man image."

"A pocket guardian angel," said Emily, "What a lovely idea."

Jess and Becker looked up to see Emily, Matt, Connor, and Abby standing behind them. Lester was walking over too.

"It is," said Connor. "I'd like one."

Abby smiled. "We could all use an angel watching over us."

"Very nice," agreed Matt.

"I love it, Jess. I really do."

"A token of affection and a wish for safe return," said Emily. "I do not believe I have heard of a more loving gift."

Jess blushed. "You really like it?" she asked Becker.

"Very much," said Becker, kissing her lightly. "You're brilliant.

She smiled.

"I don't have to worry," said Becker. "I've got a guardian angel looking out for me, and I appreciate the doll too." Hes winked at her.

Jess blushed, and hugged him. "You're the one who's brilliant."

"You know," said Connor. "This isn't an unknown idea. Ancient Greeks had little statues of the gods they'd pray to. Kids have their blankies. It's not a strange idea to have something with you that you hope will keep you safe."

"Like my angel," said Becker.

"Little dolls that watch over and protect you. I have a question," said Lester.

"What's that?" asked Jess.

"Can we order them in bulk?"

Everyone, Jess included, laughed.

The End

Author's Note: Kind of sad, and I really questioned the ridicule of Jess part. I'm keeping it in, because I like how everyone felt bad after. I think I'm making a Homemade: Jess 2, because that was a lot angstier than I intended. I must have been down when I wrote it.