December came with promises of new things, and new flooring – for Quinn Fabray's apartment building, that is.
The owner of the apartment had told her it would take most of December and the beginning of January. He had also told her that she could not come back into the apartment that night, but that it would probably be okay for tomorrow. Quinn had been slightly upset. She had decided to let Santana, and herself take off all of the month of December. Therefore, Santana had convinced Brittany to take the month off. They were both long gone to Greece, and Quinn had nowhere to stay for the night.
She knew she ought to ask Rachel, but the thing is, every time she saw the girl, she wanted to kiss her. Yet, that wasn't the problem. She wanted to kiss Olivia Wilde, too, and she'd never met her. The problem was that she didn't want to just kiss her. She didn't even want to have sex with her, she wanted to hug her, she wanted to wake up next to her and she wanted to cuddle her when she was cold.
She so desperately wanted all those stupid things that only lonely people want. Although, Santana told her on a regular basis that she was a lonely person.
These were the reasons why she found herself settling down for the night on the couch in her office. Lord, she thought. Was have I come to?
Rachel Berry was not happy. No, she was angry, and for once, she had let herself feel angry. She felt it with such a force that she had broken her living room window with a toaster. No big deal, really. She could withdraw money from her bank account to pay for it since she wasn't making any money taking a year off. Virtually, Rachel could see no problem with what she had done. But maybe that was the pleasant rush she was still getting from throwing a toaster out the window of her house.
There was one major problem though. She had nowhere to sleep. She was paranoid, and refused to sleep in her house when there was a hole big enough for a person to come in through. She had called Quinn's apartment building earlier, because Quinn hadn't answered her phone and didn't have one of her own in her apartment. They had said they were re-flooring Quinn's floor and that they didn't know where she was staying. Rachel assumed Quinn would be staying with Santana, and because Rachel didn't have a place to stay, she once again found herself in front of Quinn's office.
She was coming here regularly now, making appointments once a week. Still, she wasn't telling Quinn very much, but Quinn was a professional, so maybe she could just analyze her body language, or something.
Rachel turned the door handle, again finding it unlocked. She really needed to remind Quinn to lock the door, she really didn't want her friend getting murdered.
Rachel closes the door behind her, locking it as well. She heads towards Quinn's main office. She still hasn't been in the other two rooms, and she didn't really feel like exploring now. She opens the second door, and locks that one as well.
The first thing she notices is the lamp on the desk is on. The second thing is Quinn lying passed out on her desk.
Really, Rachel should have expected this. After a short two months of friendship with Quinn, she's already figured out that Quinn is stressed out to an extent that, if she had thrown Rachel into the mix, she would've spontaneously combusted. Rachel walks over to where Quinn is lying down across her computer keyboard. She sees a document open on the computer, and she's glad the sound is off, because she can see a line of endless K's continuing on down the screen. She really hopes this isn't an important document.
Rachel tries to maneuver her hand under Quinn's lower back to reach the mouse, but Quinn jerks awake anyways. Quinn sits bolt upright, and bursts into tears.
"Oh, my god." Rachel panics, and Quinn turns to see her.
Quinn hadn't actually known Rachel was there, because if she had known she would've tried to stop crying before she started. Only Quinn was pretty sure she was having a panic attack. She hadn't had one in over a year, but she recognized it well.
"Oh, my god," Rachel repeats. "I'm sorry! What's going on? What happened?"
Quinn tried wiping her hands on her pants, attempting to remember the method a doctor had told her about to control her attacks. It had been so long, but it was right there on the tip of her tongue.
Suddenly, Rachel's arms are around her, and her heart beats so fast it feels like it's exploding, and her sobs turn into screams. She has no idea who's holding her, although at the same time she knows it's Rachel. She feels like she's dying, like she's going to die. Then there's Rachel's mouth, right by her ear.
"Sh, it's fine. I'm here. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe."
Quinn's screams turn back into sobs as Rachel keeps repeating the word safe. She might be saying something else, too, but Quinn only hears safe. Then, she's in the air. Floating, until suddenly she's not. She's lying down, on the floor. Rachel curls around her, still telling her she's okay, she's safe. Rachel's hand is slowly rubbing her back, in a means to comfort Quinn.
Finally, Quinn stops crying and her heart rate and breathing returns to normal. Her eyes are closed when she feels Rachel shifting to get up.
"Where are you going?" Quinn asks, her throat sore.
"I figured that-"
"No." Quinn says, tugging her arms out from where they were pinned, wrapping them around Rachel and holding her there.
"Are you drunk?" Rachel asks. "Because if you are, I don't think it's safe for me to be this close to you – I mean, you did-"
"No."
"And you don't want me to leave?"
"No."
"So, we're going to sleep on the floor."
"Yeah."
"Okay."
Rachel stayed stiff for a minute or two, waiting for Quinn to change her mind or to say something else, but eventually she could hear Quinn's breathing even out and deepen, and she was asleep. Rachel relaxed then, tucking her head into the nook of Quinn's shoulder, letting out a slow sigh at the fact that she finally had someone else to share the night with, instead of sleeping alone and having to take three pills just to get some shut-eye.
Breathing in Quinn's vanilla-like scent, happiness engulfed Rachel as she fell faster asleep, this time without any pills to help.
Quinn wakes up in the morning with the worst throat ache she's ever experienced. Literally, ever.
On the bright side, she wakes up with brown hair strewn across her face, evidently not hers. She turned her head to the side, trying to see the girl she knew she'd fallen asleep next to. Rachel Berry is still cuddled into Quinn, a sleepy grin visible on her face.
Quinn tries to discreetly sneak away, because she really needs to pee and get changed. Despite her efforts of trying to be quiet, Rachel wakes up anyways.
"Where are you going?"
Quinn's always heard people say that their boyfriend or girlfriends voice is the sexiest when they've just woken up, and she's always thought it was bull. Rachel, obviously, had to prove her wrong.
"I have to change." Quinn says.
"No."
"Yes, because it's 6:00 in the morning and I always wake up at six and because I have things I need to do."
"No, stay with me."
Obviously, Rachel is still half-asleep and has no idea what she's saying, but Quinn's heart twists in her chest anyways.
"I have to run errands. Why were you here last night anyways?"
Rachel groans and sits up, her hair on one side of her head knotted into a giant ball. The other side looks relatively untouched. Before settling to look at Quinn, Rachel stretches and groans loudly, spreading her legs in front of her to lean against the wall.
"I threw a toaster through the front window of my house."
"Oh, my god. Maybe you should come see me twice a week. Why?" Quinn cocks an eyebrow at the brunette in front of her.
"I was angry." Rachel's staring at her hands again, something Quinn's noticed she does often.
"I gathered that. Why were you angry?"
"Are you asking because you feel obligated to as psychiatrist or because you care?"
Quinn raises her eyes to look Rachel in the eye. "I'm asking because I care."
"Well, I was angry because my agent called me. He told me that I have four months here after Christmas. I was supposed to have longer."
"What's so bad about that?"
"I just – I wanted to – to get, something? And I needed longer, so now I'm going to have to speed things up. A lot."
"What were you trying to get?"
Rachel narrows her eyes for a moment before standing up. "That doesn't matter."
"It kind of does-"
"No, it doesn't. Come help me brush my hair. It's a mess isn't it?"
"Fine."
Quinn followed Rachel into the bathroom, reaching into her bag that she had left there the night before for a brush. Wordlessly, she handed it to the smaller brunette.
"My hair is always horrid when I wake up," Rachel says, more to herself than to Quinn. "I never understood why they called it beauty sleep."
Quinn hums in agreement, too busy studying her hair in the mirror behind Rachel to really from a response. After assuring her short hair wasn't too messy for work, she bent down to pick up her bag from next to the sink, but she stopped halfway down. Rachel had caught her eye, the brunette was struggling to get the brush through her hair and was making a face that made Quinn's heart skip. She stopped to watch the brunette before Rachel got the brush caught in her hair.
"This is the worst." Rachel whines, turning to face Quinn.
Quinn laughs lightly, standing up straight to remove the brush from Rachel's hair. "Let me help you."
Rachel nods, looking down at her feet, as Quinn runs the brush through her hair. Rachel cringed the first few times, but just zoned out throughout the rest of the process.
"You have very pretty hair." Quinn says softly, setting the brush down on the counter behind Rachel.
"Thank you." Rachel says.
Quinn stays where she is, and Rachel looks up to meet her eyes. She's ready to say something, but the look in Quinn's hazel eyes makes her forget her words. The blonde is staring right back into Rachel's eyes, a confused look making her eyebrows knit together slightly. Rachel doesn't dare look away, but she does notice the way Quinn licks her lips unconsciously, making the shorter girl wonder what she's thinking about.
"What are you thinking about?"
Quinn doesn't break eye contact with Rachel. "Honestly?"
"Yeah."
Quinn places her hands on Rachel's hips, contemplating which way to go about this. She doesn't have long to decide, so she just leans in and closes her eyes.
Rachel's heart thumps so hard and loud that she's pretty sure it has a jackhammer in there, trying to escape. Somehow, though, she manages to stay grounded. Maybe it's Quinn's hands on her hips, holding her in place.
When their lips meet, it's not for more than three seconds. However, in those three seconds, Rachel's heart seems to find it's way out of her chest, Quinn's problems seem to float away, and both of them are the happiest they've been in a long time. The kiss is short but very, very sweet.
"That's what I was thinking about." Quinn says.
"Awesome." Rachel grins, and for a moment, they stay like that.
Just grinning at each other, because everything's going to be alright.
Rachel walked the cold street by herself, her purse clutched to her front, her flats slipping on the ice-covered sidewalk. She had wrongly decided to take one of the less busy streets to get to the restaurant she had asked Quinn to meet her at. There were hardly any street lights to light her way, and the rarely used sidewalk hadn't thawed, while the busier streets had.
Somehow, she hadn't been photographed with Quinn, yet. Of course, she'd been photographed going to Quinn's office, but the pictures had slowed as she went regularly, her trips becoming boring to the media. She certainly wasn't being followed here, but she was starting to realize a few pictures was better than a broken arm from falling on her ass.
Luckily, she reached the main street – much busier than the back streets she had taken before – without breaking any bones. Rachel had invited Quinn to meet her at Per Se, apparently one of the top 10 most expensive restaurants in NYC. It was one of Rachel's favourites, the vegetarian menu was excellent. While the restaurant usually only accepted reservations made a month before, Rachel had manipulated the manager by using her status and money. She wasn't planning on telling Quinn that, though. She really didn't flag her as a girl who was going to be impressed by that.
Rachel opened the blue double doors of the restaurant, and revelled in the rush of heat that welcomed her. She put on her best smile and walked up to the man waiting to seat the customers.
"Name?" He asks.
"Berry." Rachel nods.
The man has a thick accent Rachel can barely understand, and as he nods and begins to lead her to her table, she struggles to keep up with him.
"Your companion is already here, your menus will be here in a moment."
The man sidesteps around Rachel, revealing Quinn sitting alone at their table. Rachel tries not to let her jaw drop at the sight of her date, dressed in a silk, body-hugging, black cocktail dress. Her short blonde hair is curled to frame her face, and her hazel eyes are focused on the table, not noticing Rachel. Rachel slides into the seat across from Quinn, her own red dress rubbing against her legs as she moves.
"Hey," Rachel greets, biting her lip and offering a smile.
"Rachel!" Quinn exclaims. "What the hell are we doing here?"
"What?" Rachel asks.
"This is like, the most expensive restaurant in New York!"
"Actually, it's only like the fourth expensive. But nice guess."
"Rachel!" Quinn slams her hand down on the edge of the table, gripping it hard.
"I think you need to calm down. People are staring." Rachel smooths out her dress and cocks an eyebrow at the fuming blond sitting in front of her.
"I hate you." Quinn seethes.
"I think you look beautiful tonight."
Quinn sighs, rubbing her hands over her eyes. "Are you going to do that a lot?"
"Do what a lot?"
"Make me really angry and then say something sweet?"
"Probably." Rachel nods.
A waitress comes along later, handing them both their menus. Quinn has a regular one while Rachel receives the vegetarian menu. Quinn gawks at the price and they argue about ti for a while, until their food comes. Rachel finds out Quinn is a huge lover of garlic bread.
"Do they have mints here, for after? Because my breath is going to smell horrible."
"Mm, I can smell it from here."
Quinn rolls her eyes, and takes another bite of her food. "You know," she says. "I'm going to have to cancel all of our sessions."
"What?" Rachel drops her fork. "Why? What did I do?"
"You asked me out."
Quinn picks up Rachel's fork and uses it to try something off her plate. Rachel is still too busy trying to figure out what Quinn means to notice.
"I don't understand." Rachel says.
"Yeah, I don't understand why you eat this either."
"No, I don't get it. Why are you cancelling all our sessions?" Rachel insists.
Quinn sits back in her chair. "Well, I don't know about you, but I fully plan on continuing this relationship, so..."
Quinn likes watching Rachel get stumped. She likes it even more when Rachel's face lights up with half-recognition.
"Okay," Rachel begins. "So I sort of get it... but explain why you're cancelling them, exactly."
"It's against the rules to date a patient, so I'm officially kicking you out of my office forever."
"So we're dating?"
"Yes, unless you don't want to." Quinn furrows her eyebrows, as if this is the first time she's considered this.
It's not.
"Oh!" Rachel reaches across the table, grabbing Quinn's hand from where it rests in her lap. "Of course I do. I just really want to keep seeing you – in and out of work, right? I want you to still be my therapist."
"Well, I can be. But you're not paying me, because that would be like prostitution."
"Are we having sex, now?" Rachel raises and eyebrow.
Quinn blushes. "You know what I mean."
"I do. But I want to pay you."
"No."
Rachel pulls her hand away. "Then we're not dating."
"Alright." Quinn says, standing up. "I'll see you later then. I assume you're paying – I could afford this place but I choose not to, so. Good-bye, Rachel."
Rachel rolls her eyes and watched Quinn walk towards the blue double-doors. She expects the blonde to turn around and come back, but she walks right out the door. Rachel's eyes widen, and not wanting to lose Quinn, she reaches into her clutch to pull out money to pay for what they ordered. She tosses it on the table and runs out of the restaurant, earning a few confused stares as she does.
Quinn's calling a taxi on the side of the road, her black dress blending in with the night. A taxi pulls over in front of her, and Quinn opens the door to get in. Rachel almost misses her, but she slides into the cab and lands on top of the blonde right before she shuts the door.
"Um, hello?" Quinn says.
"Sorry." Rachel grunts, shifting into the seat next to Quinn and buckling her seat belt.
"Where are we going?" The cabbie asks gruffly.
Rachel stays silent, glancing at Quinn out of the corner of her eye. She's been advised to not tell anyone she doesn't trust her address, because they could give it away. Despite all the publicity Rachel supposedly got, she liked her privacy.
Quinn let out a huff of air, and gave the cabbie her address. They drove in relative silence, the only sound was that of the tires hitting bumps in the road and the wind coming in the windows.
When they pull up to the apartment building, Rachel reaches to pay, but Quinn beats her to it. Quinn gets out of the cab without a word, and Rachel has to rush to keep up with her. The elevator ride up is silent, and Rachel can't even see Quinn's face, because she's looking at the floor and her hair is covering her expression. Rachel swears she hears her laughing about something, though.
Rachel follows Quinn to her apartment, having to run every few seconds to keep up. She can finally stand next to the blond as Quinn has to dig through her purse to find her keys. Rachel blows her hair off her face and opens her mouth to say something when Quinn gets the door open.
Rachel makes a move to follow her in, but Quinn turns around quick, winks at Rachel, and slams the door in her face.
Rachel stares at the offending object for a moment, the door that's blocking her way into Quinn's apartment. She hears the lock click on the other side. Rachel stands there, open-mouthed, for about a minute before the door opens again and she's grabbed by the collar.
Before she can react, Rachel is shoved against the door, Quinn's face inches from hers, and Quinn's body pinning her in place. Rachel blinks slowly, trying to understand her situation.
"Good evening, Rach."
"Evening, Quinn."
"How are you, babe?"
Rachel almost melts at the nickname, but she forces her self to keep talking. "Fine, how are you darling?"
Quinn narrows her eyes. "Lovely." She almost growls it.
Quinn pushes off the door, skulking into the centre of the room. Rachel follows, sitting down on the coach while Quinn paces in front of her.
"So, I was thinking..." Quinn stops in front of Rachel, cocking her head to the side and squinting her eye at her. "Since you're paying me, I should probably give you your money's worth, right?"
Rachel almost chokes. "What?"
Quinn walks around the black coffee table, her eyes never leaving Rachel. "You heard me."
Rachel shrinks into the couch as Quinn leans over, placing one hand on the left side of her head. Quinn tilts her head forward, pressing her lips gingerly to Rachel's. She does this four or five times, before lifting her knee up and placing it on the couch next to Rachel. She does the same with her other knee, until she's straddling Rachel. Quinn really kisses her now, forcing her mouth open with her own, and Rachel reaches her hands up, tangling them in Quinn's short hair, holding her roughly in place. A shiver rolls up Quinn's spine as Rachel moans loudly into her mouth. She has to resist groaning herself as Rachel's blunt nails dig into her scalp.
Rachel groans again, her tongue dancing over Quinn's, making the taller girl sigh. Rachel runs her hands down Quinn's back, up again, and down. Quinn's right hand makes it's way down Rachel's chest, massaging her breast through the fabric of her red dress.
Quinn finally parts her lips from Rachel's for air, and Rachel turns her head to the side, her eyes closed, and Quinn can hear her whimpering. Quinn moves her head down, her hand still kneading Rachel's chest, and starts biting at her neck. She sucks on the sensitive skin, making Rachel's whimpers turn into moans.
"Oh, fuck." Rachel groans
Quinn moves her head down further, peppering kisses along Rachel's collarbone. Then, without asking for permission, Quinn tugs Rachel's strapless dress down, revealing her breasts and hardened nipples. Quinn quickly goes to work, using her hand on one breast and her mouth on the other. She licks, sucks and bites, biting hard enough to leave a mark higher up towards where Rachel's cleavage would be. Quinn moves her mouth to Rachel's right breast, giving it the same treatment as before. She can hear Rachel whimpering and moaning above her, and she feels a rush of heat between her legs as Rachel grabs the back of her head and pulls her up for another searing kiss. Quinn moans into Rachel's mouth, and Rachel grinds her hips up, in desperate need of some sort of friction.
"God, Quinn." Rachel moans.
Rachel kisses Quinn's neck, leaving a mark to match her own. Quinn lets out a low moan, letting her hips grind down on Rachel's thighs. As Rachel tries to bring Quinn down for another kiss, Quinn places her hand on Rachel's chest, stopping her.
"What?" Rachel asks, her gravelly voice making Quinn regret what she was about to do.
"Darling," Quinn says, struggling to keep a straight face. "I don't fuck on the first date."
Rachel's jaw drops, and now, Quinn can't help but laugh. The brunette shoves her off her lap, and Quinn falls to the floor, curling up in a ball and laughing. Rachel stands up, pulling her dress up again and straightening it out. She tries to fix her hair but it's hopeless.
"You – you are such an ass!" She exclaims.
"Oh, my god! I know! Your face was perfect!" Quinn literally had tears in her eyes.
"You get me all hot and bothered just for a joke! I hate your guts, Quinn Fabray!"
"You – don't!" Quinn can barely breath, her sides are killing her.
"No, I am actually mad right now! Get off the floor!"
"No! I can't!"
"Did you do this to your first girlfriend, too? Dianna?"
Quinn's laughter stops abruptly, but she still finds it hard to breathe, yet for a very different reason.
It felt as if someone has just dropped and anvil on her chest, crushing her lungs and making it hard to breathe. She suddenly wants to scream, and she can feel a panic attack coming on. She sits up, trying to remember the method she'd found online to stop her panic attacks.
Alright, relax, take deep, slow breaths. Okay, now stop any negative thinking. Everything's alright, it's okay. Now, coping statements. It's okay, I'm not going to die, I'm just having a panic attack, it's okay. Then, accept your feelings. It's alright, Rachel just upset you. Nothing bad is happening.
Quinn opens her eyes, and she feels wetness on her cheeks. She sees Rachel next to her and she turns her head slowly to face her.
"Damn it, I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry, Quinn. I'm so sorry."
Rachel reaches a hand out, using her thumb to brush away at a wet spot on Quinn's cheek. Quinn just stares at her, in a daze. She knows what Rachel's apologizing for, but she doesn't like the way Rachel keeps on apologizing, over and over. Quinn places a hand on Rachel's face, making the brunette look up and quiet. Quinn gives her a soft kiss, and when they part, Rachel waits a moment before opening her eyes.
"I'm sorry." She repeats.
"I know. You didn't know I'd react that way. Can we just...go to sleep now?"
"Am I staying here?" Rachel is staring at the carpet. "I would completely understand if you'd prefer I'd leave, but it's just that I'm not supposed to give my address out to cabbies and it's late and I don't really feel like walking and I want to make sure you're okay..."
"Yes, Rach, you're staying here."
Rachel's insides swirl at the nickname, and they stand up together to get ready for sleep.
Rachel borrows an oversized shirt from Quinn and some pyjama shorts, with Quinn wearing similar attire. For some reason, Quinn had had a lot of extra toothbrushes, which was lucky in Rachel's situation. She had a bad taste in her mouth, giving Quinn two panic attacks in the process of one day. She felt like a horrible person.
Finally, after all the lights were turned out and Rachel was heading for the couch, Quinn peeked her head out of her bedroom.
"Where are you going?"
"To the couch – I was -"
"No. That couch is wildly uncomfortable, and you're sleeping in here." Quinn says.
"Quinn," Rachel begins. "I've already given you two panic attacks in one day – we just went out together for the first time - I don't think you really want me in your bed. I wouldn't want to feel like I was intruding."
Rachel stares at her hands, listening as she hears the soft scrunch of Quinn's bare feet on the white carpet.
"You wouldn't be intruding. You slept with me last night, why would it be so different on a bed? On the floor sounds more kinky, anyways."
Quinn grins down at the brunette, and Rachel lets out a light laugh. "Alright."
When Rachel wakes up in the middle of the night, something that happens often when she doesn't take any pills to help her sleep, she's encompassed in warmth. She finds Quinn's head resting in the crook of her neck, their legs tangled together and their arms wrapped securely around each other. Rachel looks down at her clutch on the floor by the bed, the little container holding her pills, and decides that she can go without them for another night.
Who needs drugs when you have Quinn Fabray, right?
A/N: Wow okay this took like two weeks? And it's not even the longest chapter. You guys better review or something, because I skipped my homework just to get this up. :3 Okay, so really, thank you for all the story alerts etc. etc! It means a lot, and the more reviews means the faster I write! (Maybe, I've never tested that theory.) Anyway! Hope you like, reviews are always appreciated.