Spoilers: Series 5

Homemade: Lester

"Hey, Jess. Have you noticed anything strange about Lester?" asked Abby.

"No, not really. Why?"

"He's been hanging around my office, and when I look up, he disappears. I swear he's watching me, and get this: I think he was taking notes too."

"Weird," said Jess.

A few days later, Jess got up from the ADD, and there was Lester scribbling in a notebook.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Lester looked up, panic-stricken. "Nothing."

"What are you writing?"

"Nothing. I wasn't writing."

"Lester, I saw you."

"I...was...monitoring your performance, Parker. I do that, I'm the boss. Well, carry on. Ta."

"Weird," said Jess.

At the canteen later, Jess, Emily and Abby were discussing the director's strange behavior.

"I have noticed him acting odd," said Emily. "He has been watching me as well."

"Maybe we should just ask him," said Abby.

So, they did.

"I have no idea what you ladies are referring to," said Lester.

"We all saw you," said Jess. "What's going on?"

"What's going on, my dear Miss Parker, is that my employees are bored and imagining things."

"That is incorrect," said Emily.

"We know you're up to something," said Abby.

"I'm far too busy a man to be stalking you. I suggest that you lot find something to keep you busy as well."

The ladies gave up, at least in front of Lester.

"I'm telling you something is up with him," said Jess.

"Lester is a little squirrelly Jess," said Becker, "but he wouldn't do anything to harm you."

"I know that. I just want to know what he's doing."

Becker chuckled. "Curious Miss Parker. Give it up Jess. It isn't worth it."

"It is! It's driving me crazy! You won't help?"

"No."

A few days later, Becker came to Jess at the ADD.

"OK, I'm in. I'll help you tail Lester."

"What changed your mind?"

"Nothing," he said, with a shrug.

"You're lying," said Jess. "What happened?"

Becker sighed. "He went too far, and moved from weird to creepy."

"How?"

"He started watching me."

Jess giggled. "That is creepy."

"I heard you two conspirators," said Lester.

"How?" said Becker.

"I planted a comm under Miss Parker's chair."

"Lester!" cried Jess.

"You're going too far," said Becker.

Lester smiled. "First of all," he said, removing the comm from Jess' seat, "this was only to discover if Jess was still suspicious. As it is apparent that she is, let me assure you it is nothing bad."

"But what is it?" asked Jess.

"I can't tell you, it would ruin the surprise. I will say that it involves Christmas, and I ask you, Miss nosy skirt, to back off."

Becker laughed. "The homemade gift exchange, Jess."

"What on earth are you making?"

"Jessica," said Lester. "Do you not understand the word 'surprise?"

Becker shook his head. "She does not."

"I do too. Fine. I'll wait. Spoilsports."

Finally, the day of Lester's reveal was at hand. The ARC Christmas Party was underway.

"I wonder what he made?" said Jess, in between catapult shots from her Jess Feeder that Becker had made.

Becker smiled. "Who knows. You'll have to be patient."

Jess nodded. "I guess I'll wait here then," she said, catching another chocolate.

Becker laughed. "Oh, there's Lester, he's waving us to come on."

"Oh, I was enjoying myself," she said, looking longingly at the Feeder as Becker pulled her away.

Lester stood up front, in front of a large something. It was completely covered. Abby, Connor, Emily and Matt sat at a table facing him.

"Good, with the Captain and Miss Parker here, we can start. Ladies and Gentlemen, you're beloved boss is a man of many talents. I had a hard time choosing which to reward you with."

Becker and Matt rolled their eyes.

"Without further ado, I present your presents. I give each of your own likeness, which is why I was watching each of you and drawing a rough sketch. Feel free to exchange them with one another, if you are tired of staring at your own reflection, because these are that good. I will not feign humbleness. I do not deserve it."

With a flourish, Lester took off the cover, revealing an easel. On it were six portraits, one of each of the people in front of him.

"Oh...my...God... Lester! There completely fabulous," said Jess.

"Yes, they are," said Lester.

"It's like looking in a," began Abby.

"Mirror," finished Lester. "Again, I know."

Becker whistled. "I can't believe you have this much talent."

"Yes, I realize it's a shock."

"Why on earth aren't you professional?" asked Jess.

"An artist is not dignified enough for my position and breeding. However, I do enjoy painting."

"Incredible," said Matt.

Connor stared at Abby's portrait. "You captured her, Lester. It looks so much like you. Its beautiful."

"Thank you. I can't believe how much yours looks like you Connor."

"Abby, look, he even put Rex and Sid and Nancy in the back ground."

"Cool, Connor. If you put them next together, they fit."

"Like a puzzle. Nice, Lester."

Connor and Abby's portraits were set in a lab, hers with Rex beside her, and Connor's with Sid and Nancy rolling on the floor. The backgrounds and colors were the same. They belonged together.

"Sweet," said Abby to Lester. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Um, thank you Miss Maitland. I'm glad you like them."

"I appreciate mine as well," said Emily. "This side of my portrait is Victorian London, and this side is modern. I am impressed. Thank you."

Lester nodded.

"Lester, I'm speechless," said Matt. His portrait had a mist behind him, black and mysterious. The mist stopped at his neck. His head and the top of the painting were bathed in a light, sunny gold.

"I'm pleased. I didn't want to be as obvious as with Miss Merchants. Plus, painting an apocalyptic future is depressing. The mist represents that future, which we avoided."

"And the gold represents the future we hopefully make brighter," said Matt. "Nice."

"Thank you."

Jess and Becker stood before their own portraits, but they were staring at each others'. Jess was seated in her chair, showing her legs and short skirt. She was smiling and holding a chocolate bar.

"You look beautiful," whispered Becker.

Jess blushed. "Thank you. You look incredible."

Becker"s was a traditional portrait, like the others, of his chest and head. Becker's accessory, a glock was not so traditional. He wore his trademark smirk.

"I like it a lot," said Jess.

Becker looked at her. "You know, Lester said we could trade."

She looked at him and smiled. Becker handed his portrait to her, and he took hers.

"You won't use it for target practice, will you?" she teased.

"Jess, to mar this in anyway would be an unforgivable sin."

She blushed. "Thank you for letting me have this," she said, looking at the painted Becker. "I love it."

He smiled.

Lester nodded toward the pair, and the others all smirked. "I had a feeling they might end up with each other's portraits."

Matt laughed. "This was a truly awesome gift," he said.

Lester shrugged. "I am the director. It is my job to set the standard. Now, let's get to my gifts: the ones to me, shall we?"

Lester was pleased that he had indeed set the standard. Jess had made him a program for his PDA that listed his schedule and color coded the meetings by those he wanted to attend, didn't want to attend but could not get out of, and the ones he'd ignore. Abby and Emily had made an organic tea blend for him that was very good. Connor, Matt, and Becker worked together and made him a scooter that he could zip around the ARC on.

On his way to his office with his bounty, he snuck a look at a painting he made for himself and hid so no one could tease him. It was a self-portrait. He wore a simple suit and was surrounded by suitable accessories: Jess and the team.

He smiled. It was his best work.

The End