A/N-Sorry for not updating in a while...the school week started and I had two projects I had to work on instead! But, i think you'd rather read this than read whatever I have to say, if you even take the time to read this at all, sooo, enjoy (: Also, one new character this chapter, thats's not in the show. I wasn't planning it, but it just sort of happened. let me know if i should keep him in the following chapters or if i should just make him dissapear? thanks for your input! PLEASE review!

I stared at myself in the mirror, taking in everything about me. For one, I saw the familiar white and red cheerios uniform hugging my body, my black hair back in a ponytail, just like every other cheerio in the school. But instead of my usually hard and unreadable expression, I looked scared and childlike, which is an understatement to how I felt. Today school was starting, and that just terrified me. I know what you're thinking. Santana Lopez? Scared to go to SCHOOL? She rules that place...but that's not what I'm afraid for. I know things would start off normal, me walking in with Quinn and Britt, like always, to show everyone there that us three still had control of everything and everyone in that place. I'd probably slushie a freshmen and slam one into a locker before first period, getting a dissapointed look from Brittany and a few words from Quinn. Then Britt and I would probably ditch first period, show up for maybe half of second...not really go to any of our classes, besides Spanish, because, and I'll deny it if anyone ever finds out, but I really want to see Mr. Schue. He's probably the only teacher in the school that actually cares about me, besides Ms. Holliday, but she's just a substitute. Sue doesn't even really like me, I'm just a good cheerleader and I do what she wants, unless if involves destroying glee club,which I just pretend to do. I'm starting to actually like, and, beleive it or not, trust some of the kids in the club. Plus, i discovered that not only did i really enjoy singing, I'm actually pretty good at it. And, I really trust Mr. Schue. I didn't even know that word was in my vocabulary. But things were going to be alot different today. I'd dump Karofsky, tell everyone he's gay, maybe, depending on my mood, but once glee club started everything would change. I took a deep breath, trying to change how scared I looked before walking downstairs to get in the car with Quinn.

"You okay, Santana? You look a little, I don't know, like you have feelings." Quinn joked as I climbed in the passenger seat. Quinn must've realized I was serious when I didn't spit something back at her about having a lizard baby.

"You have pink hair." I pointed out dumbly. But it was true. She really dyed her hair pink and cut it really short.

"Uh, seriously Santana. I don't think you've even shown ANY emotion except when you're mad or when your drunk, which I'm pretty sure you're neither right now. You okay?"

I looked Quinn directly in the eyes, noticing for the first time since we were like eight how pretty her eyes were. Not like Brittany's, where I'd get lost just looking into her eyes, but until this moment I never realized how pretty Quinn really was. Not trying to have a whole lesbian moment there, I just meant it in a friend way, but she really was beautiful. Even though she looked way better with blonde hair rather than the short pink hair.

Something about how distraught I was must have made it slip out.

"You're pretty." I mentally killed myself right then and there, for saying something so stupid, random, and completely un-santana like. Quinn looked at me funny.

"That's probably the WORST insult I have ever heard. Santana, come on. We don't need to get to school two hours early. Sue can teach the freshmen cheerios herself."

"No, let's just go to school." I mumbled looking at my feet.

"Santana, we're not going anywhere 'till you tell me what's wrong!"

"Just get me to fucking school right now Fabray, or I will go all Lima Heights on your ass!" As if a second thought, I added, "Again!"

"Don't even try that Santana. I know you better than that. I bet right now you probably couldn't go 'all Lima Heights' on a fly. You look like you're about to fall over and die or something. Usually on the first day of school you dress like your preparing to get laid, now, even your skirt is pulled down just as low as the rest of us. You don't look like you, and even when something is wrong with you, you never seem this..." She struggled in lack of words.

"Confused? Upset? Emotional? Like a real fucking person?" I helped her out.

"um, yeah. But the only other time I've seen you anywhere close to this was last year. Right around the time Ms. Holliday left. And I know you think I'm a stupid bitch, but don't think I can't peice things together. I know you have feelings, even though you try to hide them. And I know last time you were this upset, you and Britt weren't speaking. so, does this have something to do with Brittany?" I shook my head no immediately. She seemed to have a whole speech prepared for this. I tried to look at her to say something, but as soon as she said Britts name, I couldn't stop the tears.

I just looked over to her, tears streaming down my face, and choked out,

"Just drive the fucking car, Q"

"You know we have to go pick up Brittany, right? And she's going to know better than I do that something is up with you. Wouldn't you rather get it off your chest now? You know you're going to end up saying it as soon as Brittany gives you those puppy dog eyes, right?

"Fine, Fabray, you win." Quinn stared at me, shocked that I gave in that easy.

"Okay, well, I know that I pretty much use everyone in this world that can possibly be used, even your ex-boyfriend...okay ex-boyfriends." I added the 's' because I'd slept with every guy she dated, well, except Sam, he was never really over Quinn. But I did date him. She nodded, wondering where this was possibly going.

"Well, there's this...this person. That I want for things, other than just-" She cut me off.

"I know what you mean, just continue." She stated, slighty grossed out, which improved my day just a little bit more.

"Well, I- I'm in love with someone, Q. And it will only work out if I tell everyone about my feelings, but you know how I am with opening up to people. So, I'm afraid, of telling everybody for what might happen."

Quinn looked at me, confused. She tried to put her hand on my knee, to tell me something that would probably be meant to be reassuring but I'd yell at her anyways, when I pushed her hand away, somehow managing to slam her hand into my still very bruised side. I gasped in air, as pain shot through me.

"Santana, I think there's alot more to this than what your telling me. And what about Karofsky? Are you still dating him?"

"Well, yeah. But, he's gay. I'm going to break up with him today."

She started laughing harder than I've ever heard her laugh in my life.

"Karafsky? Gay? There is NO way!" I smiled a little bit, at how Quinn found it funny. Maybe I could tell her about me, she'd just act a little surprised and then say something completely off topic. Not like Britts off topic statements, she went to another deminsion when her mind wandered, but Quinn would just say something in another ball park, to make it less awkward. But I decided she'd just have to find out today with the rest of glee club.

"Yeah, he's just about as gay as Kurt and-" I stopped myself, almost saying 'Kurt and I combined' , but instead I said, "and...Blaine combined."

"Wow. I kind of feel bad for him. You're not going to tell everybody are you?"

"Q, I'm Santana Fucking Lopez, why the hell wouldn't I?"

"Because you don't seem very much like Santana Fucking Lopez right now." She said, trying to fake the same ghetto accent I do, except without as much success.

"Just, wait 'till Glee Club today, okay?" I said more as an order than as a question.

"Santana, just one more thing and then I swear we'll go pick up Brittany and go to school without me saying another word." I looked at her unconvinced.

"And you can slushie a freshman." She added.

"I don't need your damn permission, Fabray. I'll slushie those fucking freshmen if I want." I rolled my eyes.

"Not if you don't want Sue to find out. You know how she is with us slushying kids the first day." I looked at her for a second, remembering our sophmore year when I slushied a freshmen on the first day and Sue found out, suspending me from the team for two weeks. She didn't want Figgins to find out this early in the year, and Sue always went overboard with her punishments.

"And lock a kid in the locker?" I tried. After a while, Quinn said,

"Fine. If you tell me what's wrong with you."

"Theres alot wrong with me, Q. You know that."

"Okay, i meant what's wrong with you physically. I didn't hit you that hard, and you seemed like you forgot how to breath or something."

I gulped, decided I'd just show her. As I started pulling up my cheerios top to show her the bruise, she grabbed my hand and said,

"Really, Lopez? Answer the question, stop taking off your clothes. Maybe you and Britt prefer to have your conversations with no shirts on, but please, not everybody likes you better with your clothes off."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring her, pulling up my cheerios top anyways, to reveal the big blue mark on my side.

"Oh my god, Santana! What happened?" She seemed confused.

"Like I said, I'm afraid of what will happen once everyone knows the person I'm in love with. My dad sure as hell didn't like who it was."

"Your- Your dad hit you?"

"Q, it takes more than one hit to leave a bruise that big. Look at this too." I leaned in really close to her, showing her the raised skin around my nose and under my eyes concealed from layers of makeup.

"Oh, well, damn, = I see why you're afraid to tell anyone who it is. At least you know that no one at this school could take you, except Lauren. But she doesnt have a guy for you to possibly steal, so i wouldn't worry about her. Looks like you should only be worried if you're in love with Jesse. An angry Berry is not something I'd like to see."

"An angry Berry would be like me fighting a midget lawn gnome or something. Aren't there laws against that?"

"Since when do you care about laws, S?" She laughed starting the car.

"Since my dad made one about being homosexual..." I murmed so quiet Quinn wouldn't be able to hear me.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. Just drive." I told her. And just like that, we were back to our normal bitchy selves, forgetting anything in the past few minutes had ever happened.

"Goodmorning, San, Pink-Haired-Quinn!" Brittany said excitdely as she climbed into the back seat of the car. I smiled at what she called Quinnn.

"Morning." Quinn responded casually as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Goodmorning Britts." I said in such a 'love sick' voice that even Quinn turned around to look at me. I tried to change the subject before she asked any questions. I couldn't say yes right now if she asked, but I couldn't say no while Britt was back there either.

"I'm gonna break up with Karofsky today." I tried to start a light conversation.

"You already said that." Quinn pointed out.

"Yeah, San! You told me thursday while you were in my window that you were going to dump him and tell everyone that he's gay, and then when I told that that's mean you said that the only stra-" I cut her off before she told Quinn everything that happened while i was 'in her window' thursday, with Puck yelling at us ftom the porch. Yeah, she didn't know i'd spent alot of the week at her boyfriends house either. I think she might just get a little mad, consider our history.

"Yeah Britts. Thanks. I remember telling you guys now." The rest of the drive was made in awkward silence.

"Ready guys?" Quinn asked, as we pulled up to WIllaim McKinnly high school.

"Hell yeah, Q. Im ready to fucking rule this place. It's our senior year. We gotta make this count." I responded. We looked at brittany, waiting for her to say something.

"Lord Tubbington tried to read my diary again today." She said as if it made perfect sense to anyone else listening. Quinn and I were so used to her random comments, that we both just nodded and headed into the school. I slushied the first freshman i saw, anxious to get it out of my system. Brittany looked at me dissapointed, but I explained to her what I was doing.

"Britts, I made a deal with Quinn. This is just my reward." I tried to tell her nicely. She just shrugged and ran off to go find "Kurtie" as she calls him. Apparently she liked playing with his hair and talking to him about 'Blaze'. One kid with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes walked up to me. I wanted so shove him in locker for just looking at me, but as soon as a saw how similar his eyes were to brittany's, I just couldn't make myself be mean to the kid.

"Um, excuse me? Do you know how to get the Spanish room? With mr...mr. Schuester?" He asked, mangling mr. schues name. he pronounced it 'Mr. Scu est er'

"It's Schuester," I told him, saying it correctly. "and you can just follow me. I've got first period next door to his room."

The boy looked at me with pure happiness. Quinn looked at me shocked.

"Once second, sweetie." She told the boy, pulling me into a corner and whisper yelling at me,

"What are you planning to do to that poor kid?"

"Taking him to Spanish like i said!"

"Why are you being nice to him?" She asked.

"He...he reminds me of...of Sam. I miss him." I told her. Sam left our school unexpectedly over the summer. She looked at me unconvinced, but finally walked off to go find her jerk of a boyfriend. You know, the one I'd probably be alone and homeless without, barking at Brittany's mom and who knows who else like Patches.

"Okay kid, this way." I told she short boy, leading him to Mr. Schue's room.

"My name's Noah! Are you a cheerleader? Do you think I could be on the football team?" He seemed so excited.

"You missed tryouts." I said simply. He sighed, chasing after me as i started to walk faster.

"What's your name?" He asked me. I responded by grabbing a shorter kid by the collar of his shirt, dragging him to the first locker I saw, opened it (yeah, opening other peoples lockers is one of my many talents.) I slammed the door shut with the kid inside and walked off feeling much better about myself.

"Santana Lopez."

"Santana-" I cut him him.

"To you its Ms. B-i-t-c-h."

He looked at my funny and kept walking.

"Theres the Spanish room." I pointed.

"You're not going to class?" He asked as a I started to walk out of the hallway.

"Probably not. First periods are not my thing. You got a hell of alot to learn about this fucking hell hole."

"Can I come with you?"

"NO." I said walking away to go find some of my friends- okay fine, Brittany, before I felt like going to class.

"Hey, Lopez! Looking hot! My place, 11:00, back to school party!" I heard a familiar voice yell down the hallway.

"Bring the alchohol Puckerman and you know I'm there!" I shouted without turning around. It's funny how much our relationship changed from at his house to at school. And that's just the way I like it. Just as my day was starting to perk up, I turned around the corner to find Artie talking to Brittany. MY Brittany. And she was laughing. And he was smiling. THINK LOPEZ THINK! I yelled at myself. I walked down the hallway, pushing Artie's wheelchair back as a descended down the hall.

"Britts, my locker, NOW." I told her without turning around. I heard her footsteps following me down the hallway.

"What were you doing with Stubbles McCripples Pants?" I slammed my locker shut, shaking. What if they were dating again?

"Relax, San." She told me, taking my hand. I immediately glanced around the hall to make sure it was empty. And once I realized nobody was there, I really did relax. The halls cleared out a few minutes ago when the bell rang.

"I just, I thought maybe you guys were together again. And it scared me."

"Santana, I'm done with Artie. I promise. After today, just when you tell glee club, It's jsut me and you. Okay?"

"Okay." I melted into her hug, smiling into her strawberry scented hair. We walked down the empty hallway hand in hand. One day i thought, one day it will be crowded hallway when we can walk down it hand in hand. I smiled as a softly began to sing to her as we walked down the hallway to first period (if we didnt get ...distracted.) , at least 15 minutes after the bell rang. Not that the teacher would care. The teachers learned to stop asking why me and Britt are always tardy halfway through our freshmen year. They didn't usually like the answers. Sometimes they involved boys in the bathroom, sometimes boys in the locker room, hell, once it was a boy in the hallway. I'd never forget the look on Ms. Pillsbury's face when she walked down the hall on that one. As we strolled down the hallway, i softly began to sing to Britt.

"It's not so easy loving me, it gets so complicated. All the things you gotta be, everything's changing. But you're the truth, I'm amazed by all your patience. Everything I put you through. "

Brittany looked at me, with a big smile on her face, urging me to continue singing. I pulled her into the choir room, not at all surprised when Brad began to play the piano to my song.

"When I'm about to fall, somehow you're always waiting with your open arms to catch me. You're gonna save me from myself, from myself, yes, you're gonna save me from myself.

Ooh, whoa yes, mmmm."

I almost forgot the words as i heard another voice join in with me. I wanted to turn, to see who it was, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Brittany. The voice sounded familiar, but I just enjoyed how good our voices harmonized as we continues singing the song.

"My love is tainted by your touch, well, alot of guys have shown me aces. But you've got that royal flush. I know it's crazy everyday, well, tomorrow may be shaky. But you never turn away.

Don't ask me why I'm crying, 'cause then I start to crumble. You know how to keep me smiling.
You always save me from myself, from myself, myself, you're gonna save me from myself.

I know it's hard, it's hard, but you've broken all my walls. You've been my strength, so strong."

I turned around to see Ms. Holliday standing at the door smiling at Britt and I.

A/N-Thanks for reading PLEASE review! and Let me know what you think so far...The song is
'Save me from myself' By christina aguilera. And the reference to patches is from the mattress episode when brittany tells kurt that patches barks at her mom, in case nobodyy remembered. My friend didn't so thats why i decided to make note of that down here haha. Hopefully i'll be able to update again this week! DONT FORGET TO REVIEW PLEASE! and i appreciate all your ideas so pleeaase tell me anything you got to say!